Not me almost forgetting to post this shit👀

Excuses in advance, I've never been in a Starbucks lmao

Warning: this one-shot (could) contain(s) sensitive subjects such as:

- Bullying
- Depression
- Attempted suicide

Lets gooo! *fake cheery tone*

---

Everywhere I went I saw the vibrant Christmas decorations. Green, red, silver, gold... 

The cold bit my cheeks, tinting them a harsh red while the rest of my complexion was white. I cycled over the bridge and exhaled. A white puff escaped my mouth. 

It was Friday, which meant I had to return to work at Starbucks. It was Christmas in a few days and the lights were hanging all over the city. Gratefully, I sniffed the cold air before entering the staff door, bathing in the warmth approaching me.  

"Hey, you're nice and early." A voice said. I smiled and looked up. 

''Hi, Hannah, nice to see you too. And I went from home earlier, that's why.'' I grabbed my apron and walked through the kitchen to the counter. 

"Can I have your order, please?" 

---

I went on like this for a few hours. Then Hannah poked me out of the way. 

"You can go and take a break." Gratefully, I slumped into a chair in the kitchen and picked up a glass of nice and cold water. In a few gulps, the glass was empty. I sat there for a few minutes and then Hannah called from the bar again.

''Will you come back to help, please? It's starting to get quite busy.'' I set the glass down onto the counter with a slam and walked back to Hannah.

''Can I have your-'' My breath stopped short. I did not expect to see them here, all seven. ''-order, please.'' I finished my sentence, red-cheeked and wide-eyed. My eyes flitted from one to the other to the other. Namjoon cleared his throat.

''Yes, can I have an iced americano, an-'' I dropped the pen out of my hands in my haste to write down their order and bend down to pick it up. I came up again but hit my head against the counter. 

''Ah! That fucking counter!'' Namjoon stares at me, his mouth hanging open mid-order.

''Oh fff- fudge, did I say that out loud? Welp, okay bye, I'm gonna take a bath with a toaster, committing not existing-'' 

''W-wait-!'' Namjoon called out. ''I didn't finish my order yet...''

I sighed and returned, playfully saying: "You're lucky I like you guys, otherwise I already would've uninstalled life.'' Immediately I shut my mouth. Great job! Now they know what kind of crazy stan girl you are...

But Namjoon just slightly fiddled with his fake glasses - and yes, that was hot - and told his order again, this time without me interrupting him. 

''Coming right up!''

I handed the order to the kitchen and told them to wait at the side. I handled a few more orders before theirs was done. I intercepted it before they went out of the kitchen and quickly wrote down a small message:

A dash of Suga,
A cup of Tae,
A Kookie for dessert,
The full DNA

Jin and Chim so sweet,
A heart so waRM
Merry Christmas!
I hope this made your day :)

I slid the paper on the tray and handed it to them. 

''Have a great day!'' I said with a half fake happy tone because just for this once, I didn't have to act. I did feel lighter. Not per se happier, but just some lighter. Who knew such a small event could make me feel like this. 

---

After work, I went home. I decided to not take the bus but to walk instead.

''Hey, Ant, fancy seeing you here.'' The malicious voice said, tone empty. I froze and almost fell. 

W-what was she doing here?

I turned around quickly and my hair slammed into my face. Blowing it out of my face I scanned her up and down. She was... Different. She did grow up. She looked more mature than in highschool. Not like me. I had a hard time balancing and carrying all the mental and emotional baggage she gave me back then. 

''Are you still a loser? Good for nothing? Maybe to wipe the floor with but that's all.'' She scoffed.

S-say something! C'mon. Please, don't let her trample you again. You were doing so good. I tell myself.

My mind screamed at me. Ha? You doing good? Didn't think so. She wasn't lying. You're still just good for nothing. The world would be better if you would just disappear. Look, you can't even talk back to her!

I tremble and almost fell to my knees. All those memories... It was like a cement wall, like a truck slamming into me at full speed. I gasped for air. She scoffed again.

''Pathetic bitch.'' She mumbled before slapping me hard in the face and walking by. It might have been in the moment but I didn't want this anymore. Didn't want my intrusive thoughts, only talking shit about me. Didn't want the sleepless nights or the nights where I did sleep for only a few hours, haunted with nightmares.

I made up my mind. I asked a passerby for a pencil and took a pad of notes from my bag. I ripped off the written sheets and wrote a note on a clean one:

Dear dad, mom, Suzie...

I just can't do it anymore. I just don't feel good anymore. I know I have been struggling and was getting better but I met her and now I feel like I'm thrown back into the dark space of my mind again. I simply don't want to live anymore. On my bank account, you will find the money that I had saved to study. You can have that. Spend it wisely. And Suzie, remember what I said: You can do it on your own, you are strong enough! Please go on with your life when I'm gone.

I love you, 

xoxo, your beloved daughter.

I thanked the passer-by and gave her back the pen. Then I walked to the balustrade of the bridge and climbed onto it. The note was in my bag, which was on the floor behind me. I held on to the poles and leaned forward toward the water. Finally, I would know peace. 

I leaned forward even further. The wind played with my hair and made my coat billow. I closed my eyes. One by one I slowly let my fingers slip away and then I fell towards the dark, wild water.

I felt a pull behind my waist and my head slammed against the pavement. I opened my eyes. Everything was a bit blurry but I saw that the sky was blue. A beautiful, clear blue. I felt myself laying on something and turned my head to see what it was. I was on the chest of an angel. Literally. 

"Am I in Heaven?" I asked. The angel laughed. 

"Why do you think so?" 

"Because I'm lying on an angel." When I realized what I had said my cheeks turned red and I quickly scrambled off him. 

"You're not in heaven." 

''But if I'm not in Heaven, where am I?'' The angel got up and brushed off his clothes. 

"You are on planet earth, alien." 

"Hey, I was the alien!" A voice shouts playfully. A boy came running, with more people chasing after him. I tried to stand up but was too dizzy. My head swam and I stumbled. The ange- ahem, man caught me and steadied me. My vision kinda cleared.

''Y'know, when you said that you would uninstall life, I didn't think you'd actually try.'' With a jerk of my head, I looked at him. Oh shit. Great. Fuck my motherfucking life. Just my luck. 

Because in front of me, stood Yoongi.