a/n: please please please read twenty before you read this; the last 2,100 words or so were supposed to be the beginning of this chapter so you might be confused. i would go back and read the end of twenty so this chapter makes sense. thanks + happy reading!

Valentina Karas

My jaw drops and shatters on the tile beneath my feet. I glance between the words on the poster, the bouquet in my arms, and the nervous boy standing in front of me. An amused chuckle slips from Asher's throat upon seeing my baffled expression.

My brain feels as scattered as glitter inside of a shaken snow globe when it finally sets in what he's asking. It's the confirmation of what every single friend of mine has told me about him. If they want to say "I told you so", I wouldn't even stop them. Asher's gesture made my day. 

"Wow, Asher," I breathe when my composure comes back. That's when I put two and two together: Asher's abrupt disappearance from the face of the earth and Katelyn's odd behavior earlier had a correlation. "Are you serious?"

He nods with conviction, and his seriousness makes my heart jump. "There's no one else I'd rather spend my night with. I love being around you." 

My heart soars at his confession. I admire his honesty and definitely reciprocate how he feels about me. Hanging out with him without the weight of Ronan's health and my parents' bullshit sounds enticing. An unforgettable night with him and my friends would be terrific, if only my nagging guilt about doing something non Ronan related would let up. 

"You're so sweet, Asher," I smile, my cheeks likely beet red by now. It's impossible not to melt like a popsicle in the torrid sun around him. Since we hung out, I often find myself fantasizing about his statue-like physique and how perfect his damp curls were. How can one be that handsome?

Asher smirks cheekily, the dimple on his right cheek revealing itself. He strokes the poster, now folded in his left hand. "So, what's the move?" A few staff members stand by, watching us and anticipating my reaction like we're in a soap opera. As awkward as the attention is, I'm willing to bet this made everyone's day more interesting. 

"Uh..." The ball is in my court. In theory, saying yes to a night of dressing up and dancing with a guy I like is all I want to do. That red dress I chose made me feel beautiful and begs me to say yes every time I notice it in my closet. Letting it hang there and depreciate would be a fat waste of money. Still, my situation is quite complicated. It makes me wonder why we had to meet under these circumstances. 

"I really appreciate this and would love to go to homecoming with you, but I just need to wrap my head around this," I state honestly. 

Asher's smirk falters, the dimple fading as his expression grows more serious. "That's fair," he says, his voice low but understanding. He shifts the poster from one hand to the other, his thumb grazing the edge like he's trying to transfer his nerves into something tangible. "No pressure, V. I just... I thought you deserved to know."

The air feels stale, and the excitement from the audience we attracted has significantly waned, the staff members who were watching everything unfold returning to their duties. I tighten my fingers around the bouquet. "Thanks for being so understanding about all of this. I know I don't have a lot of time to say something, so can you just be patient?"

Asher steps back slightly, giving me some space. "No rush at all," he reassures me. He's taking this really well and hasn't murdered me for rejecting him, yet I can't help but feel like a shitty person. Imagine doing all of this for a girl just for her to say she doesn't know. "Go see your brother, alright?"

"Okay," I reply, meeting his brown eyes with a soft smile. Under normal circumstances, this invitation would be an instant yes. Maybe not instant thanks to my male anxiety, but the butterflies swirling in my stomach are a product of my guilt, not freaking out. A round of the quiet game succeeds our small heart to heart, the sounds of staff making their rounds and children's laughter feeling more distant from us than the same hallway. 

"Well, I'll see you around." Asher's lips curve upwards a little before he turns around, poster in hand. 

There's no point in lingering in the hallway, so I walk back into my brother's room. Ronan is sitting up straight and watching me like a TV screen, awaiting an update. "So?" Ronan stares at me expectantly like I promised to buy him a designer purse and shoes while I was out there. "What happened?"

I sigh, glancing at the flowers in my hand, their bright colors responsible for my oncoming headache. "I dunno, Ronan. I feel like a bad person." 

"What did you say to him?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. Like his hair, his dark brows are starting to get sparser too. 

"Told him to give me some time to think it through," I tell Ronan, echoing Asher and I's conversation. 

Ronan gapes at me with no emotion in his eyes, making it impossible to tell if he's disappointed or just processing. "Okay."

"What should I do? I mean, I want to, but..."

Ronan cuts off my rant, throwing his hands up with vigor. "Then go, Valentina!" He snaps, the use of my full name making me jump. "You two obviously want to hang out more, and this is the perfect chance to do that." 

"So you won't be mad?" I ask, caught off guard by his outburst. My fingers pick at one of the petals, part of a wilted purple flower staring at me from the ground.

"No. You know how much I like Asher, he's really good for you." Ronan's voice softens, but he hasn't given up on his little brother's duties. He won't stop until I tell him with certainty I'm saying yes to Asher's offer. 

"I really appreciate how supportive you've been recently, but you can't pour from an empty cup. You deserve to do something that could be fun." His words convince me, but it isn't enough to change my mind yet. As much as I'd love to say yes and not feel like the shittiest sister, there's more to it. Ronan's blessing took away my excuse to decline. 

I nod slowly, his words sinking in. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Ronan gives me a look, his dark eyes steady and full of sincerity. "Yeah, I'm sure. You deserve to enjoy yourself, V. I'll drag you to Mountain View if I have to." The image of my scrawny brother struggling to remove me from my bed enters my head, and I have to laugh at it. It's one of the few times I've genuinely laughed recently. 

"Alright, Ro," I relent, an excited smile spreading across my face. My eyes meet his, and I notice the way they're shining with pride. The roles have been reversed, me being the one to marvel at Ronan's resilience through the uncertain storm of cancer. Being on the receiving end feels kind of surreal. 

Ronan leans back against his pillows, satisfied with his persuasion success. "What does your dress look like?" I oblige and show him some pictures I took in the winning sangria colored dress. Usually I don't feel pretty in photos, but my brother's nod of approval when he sees my dress gives me a surge in confidence. 

"He's going to go bananas when he sees you." My brother returns my phone when he's finished looking. I genuinely hope he's right and with my hair and makeup done, he'll like what he sees. 

"You're so sweet," I mumble. Ronan can't get away with half of the compliments my friends holler at me, but a compliment is a compliment. I tend to avoid those like Ronan's refusal to eat yogurt or broccoli during his brief picky eater phase.

Ronan knows I'm deflecting and wisely changes the subject, excitement bouncing in my eyes. "So, what's that night going to look like?"

I rattle off my plans: early evening photos at a classmate's house and a party at another person's lake house, which is about an hour away. As he nods to indicate he's still following, something hits me. In a way, I'm going to this dance for him. 

There's not much he can do from room 211 other than rest, but I'm lucky to have my health in tact. I get the privilege of living my life to the fullest and telling Ronan all about my experiences. Hearing about the future is no doubt going to encourage him to keep pushing through this so he too can enjoy his youth again.

~

Turns out telling a guy something is easier said than done. I stare at the "can we talk?" text to Asher for what feels like years. At this point, I might as well have missed the dance and he went with one of his bombshell classmates instead. If I were him and had girls throwing themselves at him, I wouldn't even give myself the time of day. Of course my overthinking gets in the way and sending it becomes lower and lower on my priority list. 

Come on, V. Yes is a simple three letter word. It's up there with "the" for how often we say it subconsciously, so why the hell are you acting like this? Maybe you want to see your guy get scooped up by someone else. Do you, V?

After a good fifteen minutes of this conversation, I realize how long I've been sitting in my car and mulling this over. The sun went to bed a while ago, giving way to a crisp early October evening. I sigh, disappointed in how much this consumes me and focus on the drive home instead. My head is so high up in the clouds that I need a hard tap on the shoulder in the form of nearly hitting a mailbox.

When I arrive at home, I find Dad sitting at the kitchen table. He is doing work on his laptop, but looks up when I walk in. 

"V," he says calmly, a big smile plastered on his face. He ditched his accountant suit for a Mountain View sweatshirt and basketball shorts. Seeing Asher's school so casually feels like a sign that I better go through with my promise.

I wave. "Hi, daddy."

"How's my favorite daughter?"

"I'm your only daughter," I point out with a chuckle.

"And?" Dad stares me down. "How was your day?"

I shrug. "It was okay, nothing too crazy." 

Dad has been eyeing the flowers in my hands for quite some time, but he's now giving them a menacing glare as if he's going to give them herbicides when my back is turned. "Those are pretty," he states, and I know instantly where this is going.

"Yeah," I mumble. 

He raises an eyebrow. "What boy do I have to beat up?"

A mortified sputter escapes my throat. "Dad, Asher's really nice. There's no violence necessary," I justify.

Dad squeezes my forearm. "You know I'm joking, V. So, are you just going to keep this boy a secret from your dad forever?" I explain everything, from the day we met to my surprise today. He listens to every word, the occasional "mhm" and "I see" where they're relevant and stays silent when I'm done. 

He leans back in his chair, his fingers interlocking as he rests his hands on his stomach. His eyes are thoughtful, the usual humor replaced with something softer. "He must really like you, V," he muses.

I nod, fiddling with one of the petals on the bouquet. "Yeah, he does. And... I think I like him too." Admitting it out loud feels weird. Save for Nolan, who I met during our family trip to Hilton Head and my first and only kiss, all of my crushes have been one-sided. I have no clue what Asher sees in me, but I don't mention that to my dad.

Dad smiles, but he keeps his tone steady. "You're beautiful on the inside and out, so it was bound to happen."

"Thanks, Dad," I say, making eye contact with him. 

He nods in response. "Sure, V. Just know that no matter what happens, I am so fucking proud of the young woman you are."

I thank him for his words and we continue talking about life. He asks me about school, my friends, and more information about Asher and my Saturday night plans. In return, he talks to me about work and his excitement about my brother's upcoming return. 

Our father-daughter catch up is interrupted by his phone ringing. Okay, it might be Mom or someone from work. Dad sheepishly smiles and presses the button to accept the call. 

"Hey! How are you today?" he exclaims. The voice on the other end of the line is giggly and feminine and sounds nothing like Mom. Not just that, but my parents have been at odds recently. Their spat the morning I went to the mall was just the beginning. Mom can be stubborn and hard-headed, making her not the type to pretend everything's cupcakes and rainbows after a fight. There's no shot they made up that quickly.

As Dad converses cheerfully with the person on the other end of the line, my curiosity is piqued by who he's on the phone with. Suspicion coils in my stomach, and I try to push it down. Maybe it's just a work thing, or a friend I haven't heard about. But that doesn't explain why my mom's name wasn't the first thought when he answered.

Dad glances at me mid-conversation, his smile faltering for just a second. He clears his throat, his voice lowering slightly. "Alright, I'll talk to you soon. Take care." Noticing my perplexed expression, he defends himself to me. "That was just one of Ronan's doctors." 

It's my turn to be confused, but I keep my face neutral. "Okay. Did anything happen after I left?" That's an acceptable answer, but something feels off. I decide not to dwell on it and give Dad the benefit of the doubt. He isn't a bad husband to Mom, no matter how often they scream at each other every chance they get.

"No, but they're saying he'll be good to go Friday afternoon," he says, his tone careful and rehearsed. "Are you excited to have your brother home for the week?"

I nod, and the weird exchange earlier instantly takes a back seat to my brother's upcoming break from chemo. Having Ronan back, even for a short while, is a welcome respite from the constant worry that's gripped our family. Despite the tension between our parents, I'm looking forward to my brother being here. His return will bring much needed peace of mind.

~

Asher: hey v, i know it's only been a day little bit since i asked you, but can we talk this out some more? 

i have basketball after school but you can come over at around 6, or we can meet up somewhere 

i don't mind, but completely up to you :)

Two days of stressing later, Asher reached out. I was at lunch with my friends when the messages arrived. Ironically, Katelyn was in the middle of telling me exactly what to say to him. While my friends pass my phone around the table and read what he said, a wave of relief washes over me knowing he saved me from reaching out first. 

Riley shakes her head. "I still don't understand why you told that beautiful man who, might I add got you fucking flowers, that you'll think about it." 

"Don't let her get in your head, V," counters Layla. She and Knox played the long game and didn't become exclusive for quite some time, so she pushes patience. "You're smart for thinking it through. Even if Ronan wasn't a factor, you haven't known him long."

I pick the spaghetti on my lunch tray. "I appreciate it, Layla. I think I'm going to say yes to him though."

Katelyn claps her hands together. "Hell yeah! We're a step closer to a three man." Since she picked up on my feelings for Sawyer's friend, she's been insistent on a triple date. Her and Sawyer, Layla and Knox, and me and Asher. 

"Seriously, go talk to him." She tilts her chin at my phone, referring to the texts I got. "I would ask to meet up somewhere by his house, only because y'all have all weekend to hook up."

I put my head in my hands. "No one's hooking up, Katelyn." Asher might've slept with his fair share of girls, but I lack that experience. I haven't kissed a guy since eighth grade and I'll never see him again.

"You never know," Riley shrugs. "Sophia said the girl throwing Saturday night has a huge house. Five or six bedrooms, I think. Y'all better take advantage of that."

I roll my eyes at my inappropriate friends. "I can't with you two." Although I can justify kissing Asher on Saturday, anything more than that scares me. "Can I have my phone back, Katelyn?"

Once my phone is back in my hands, I send Asher a text:

Valentina: yeah that's fine with me

what's by your house?

Asher's response comes almost immediately, as if he'd been waiting for my reply:

Asher: hmm...there's a diner my friends and i like to hit

it's the go-to mountain view basketball spot

don't worry, it's clean and the food is phenomenal 

Valentina: that works

don't disappoint me mendez

Asher: yes ma'am 

"He's taking me to a diner," I announce when I'm done. This time, I don't bother showing my friends the texts.

Recognition traces Layla's features, and she gives a nod of approval. "Knox and I went once after a party. I think you'll like it, V."

Katelyn and Riley share a mischievous look, my two more spontaneous and excitable friends grinning like madwomen. "I think you're gonna share a milkshake with him," the former states.

"Twenty bucks if y'all share a milkshake, plus an additional ten bucks if it's from the same straw," Riley inputs, earning laughs from the whole table at my expense.

"Please stop," I groan, already feeling my cheeks heat up. 

Layla folds her arms. "Why are you two betting on Valentina? She's not a damn Kentucky derby horse."

Friends, am I right?

~

Numerous outfit changes and pep talks later, I'm on my way to Shelley's, the restaurant Asher suggested. My hands grip the steering wheel so tightly I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if it shatters and leaves splinters everywhere. I don't think I've had to tell myself to breathe normally until today; I can't stop freaking the fuck out.

My choice of hoodie and leggings was based on the fact that it wasn't a Michelin star restaurant with a strict dress code. I lightly curled my hair and touched up my makeup from school. Saturday is when I'll actually put in some effort. I examine myself in my phone camera and like what I see. 

I pull up in front of the diner, a small building with a white brick exterior and a neon sign. The building looks like a standard diner, but is well maintained thanks to where it is. A nail salon, a bar, and a strip club surround it. I wonder what Asher and his peers think about that last place. After laughing to myself about the strip club, I pull the doorknob.

The interior of the diner is cozy and inviting, with red vinyl booths lining the walls and classic black-and-white checkered flooring. Vintage posters and neon signs adorn the walls, while the soft hum of a jazz song plays over the speakers. Indistinct chatter and the soft clinking of dishes fill the air, along with a delicious smell that greets my nostrils. 

I spot Asher sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant. The restaurant's lights shine directly on top of him, creating a whitish halo of his face. His thick, dark brows are drawn together as he scans the menu in front of him. 

We make eye contact, and a huge grin overtakes his face as he waves me over. "Hey, V!" 

I sit down across from him. "Hey, Asher," I echo, praying my voice doesn't betray my nerves. He figured out how to make a black t-shirt and sweatpants look like he stepped straight out of a magazine, hence my heart rate going a mile a minute. 

As soon as I get settled, we slip into easy conversation about our days. My anxieties dissipate as the conversation progresses, and why we agreed to meet up gradually slips to the back of my mind. 

"What do you recommend?" I ask Asher.

"I get a burger with bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. And pickles, of course." He grins at his regular order, and the description alone makes my stomach growl. 

A waitress who can't be much older than us comes to take our order. Asher gets his usual with a root beer, and I get a bacon cheeseburger with just pickles. Once she disappears, we return to whatever we were talking about before until the food arrives.

Asher was right. My first bite of my food was out of this world. This wasn't something you'd get from a Burger King on the side of the road, no, my soul left my body with every bite. I might have to take Ronan here one day. I'm sure Asher enjoyed his meal as well.

He wipes his mouth with his napkin. "So, have you thought about homecoming?" Asher finally asks, a curious gleam in his eyes. 

Here we go. I knew we had to address the elephant in the room eventually, but it doesn't make it any less nerve-wracking. "Yes. First of all, I just wanted to apologize for making you wait so long."

A small smile tugs at his lips. "That's nothing to apologize for, V." 

"Alright." We fall into a comfortable silence, the song playing in the restaurant being the only noise for a bit. My heart starts racing like I ran a marathon, minus the sweat. Just say yes, Valentina. 

Asher clears his throat. "If the answer is no, I get it. We can hang out another time if that's okay with you," he speaks up, sounding like he genuinely understands. 

"Thanks for being so patient," I say sincerely. 

He chuckles. "Of course. Just know it wasn't easy." I have to laugh at his confession at the end. 

"No, but seriously, I would love to go with you," I admit. "I had a long heart to heart with Ronan and he threatened to drag me out of the house." 

His face lights up, and relief radiates from him. "Are you serious?"

I roll my eyes. "Actually, no. I take that back. You can go to your private school homecoming alone." Asher looks deflated until I smile at him. "I'm so serious, Asher. I'm excited."

"You're mean," he pouts as if he's six rather than almost seventeen. "Want a milkshake? They're so good."

I oblige, and we end up sharing an Oreo milkshake. It arrives in a massive glass and I understand why we're splitting it. We ask for two straws and drink away. Like the burger I had earlier, a few sips of the deliciously sweet shake transport me to Oreo heaven. The cooks here deserve a raise.

When the check comes, Asher pulls out some cash before I can get my debit card and at least cover my food. I try to convince him to at least let me take care of some of it to no avail. After a little back and forth, I finally give in and let him treat me.

"Thanks for dinner," I mumble even though I'm doing a happy dance inside. 

Asher waves me off and holds the door open for an old couple and I. "Don't mention it."

"I liked it a lot," I tell him. Hanging out with him makes me feel like a middle school girl with a huge crush on Justin Bieber all over again. Asher definitely isn't famous but still pretty damn attractive. Any chance to spend time with him would be great; even our quick chats at the hospital make me a happy girl. 

His sweet tea irises meet mine, brown and blue sitting face to face. Those brown eyes have been appearing in my most recent dreams. "Good. I'll see you in two days, then." 

Before I can throw something back at him, he pulls me into a tight hug. My body involuntarily melts into his like ice combines with water in a glass. Asher is a warm, clean laundry and cinnamon scented blanket. When we pull apart, he gives me the most beautiful, panty-dropping smile.

I dream about cinnamon and body wash that night.

~

what's uppp? 

sooo a lot happened here...what do y'all think? all i'm going to say is get ready for the next chapter. if you paid attention, something that riley told v about the after party will become relevant soon. someone may or may not make an appearance and cause drama...any guesses?

we're about halfway through the story and there's so much to come. i'm planning for between 38-44 chapters but ideally this will be 41-42. also the rewrite is in the works, but i won't start it until this is done.

my prayers go out to anyone affected by the recent fires in california. i can't imagine what it's like to lose everything + i hope y'all are somewhere safe.