Valentina Karas

The closer the GPS says we are to the mansion, the more the merriment fills my car. We're screaming a song at the top of our lungs when someone's ringtone interrupts our euphoria. Katelyn checks her phone and takes Sawyer's call.

"Babe, I really messed up." His ominous statement makes the four of us share a look. "We kind of got pulled over. We'll be a little late."

Katelyn frowns. "Shit. Are y'all okay?"

"Sawyer, tell her what really happened." Knox demands, piquing my curiosity. "Basically he cried his way out of a speeding ticket and the cop let us off the hook." This information makes the four of us burst into laughter. I laugh so hard I almost lose control of my car.

A smirk overtakes Katelyn's face. "There's no shot, Sawyer. That's insane."

"Yes ma'am." I can hear the smugness in his voice through the speaker. "What can I say? I did what I had to do." 

The image of the invincible Sawyer Long crying, let alone shedding tears to get himself out of a grave situation, starts our night in an unexpected way. 

"Damn. We're almost at the house. See you." Amusement laces Katelyn's features as she contemplates what she was told. 

As I pull up to the house, I have to make sure I'm at the right place. It's huge; my house could fit in there at least three or four times. Big iron gates, perfectly trimmed lawns, and a fancy entrance with massive columns. The double doors are intricately carved, lit up by lampposts in the courtyard. It's the kind of place you'd see in a movie.

Outside was impressive, but inside is something out of HGTV. The foyer has this massive staircase with a chandelier that probably costs more than Duke's tuition. The walls are decked out in rich colors, fancy artwork, and cool details. Music and laughter echo throughout the house. The four of us can't help but stand in awe of the place. 

"This girl's loaded." Katelyn comments, breaking the silence. Turning to Layla, she asks, "Are the kids at rich people parties nice?"

Layla nods. "They're not that much different from us." 

"Not gonna lie, I expected Knox to be really stuck up." Riley confesses as we make our way through the sea of people. "He's actually chill."

"Most people are nice, but there are always those people." Layla agrees. "I met this girl who didn't stop chirping about how she went to boarding school in Switzerland." 

Since I don't have anything valuable to contribute due to my lack of partying, I tune my friends out. Unlike them, I don't have much of a social life outside of school. They're really the only people I hang out with. Other than Asher's friend group, I know of a neighbor that goes there. I haven't talked to her, but her brother plays video games with my brother. Despite Layla's reassurance, I feel like a fish out of water. I hold onto the hope that feeling will fade as the night progresses. 

As we make our way to the back of the house, we find the pool and hot tub completely abandoned. I don't doubt Layla's story about someone using the hot tub as a toilet, but it is free of any fecal matter. 

"Man, this sucks." Riley was eager to get in the pool, even wearing a bathing suit underneath her clothes. She's the first to join everyone back inside. Unfortunately, she collides with an Asian girl around my height. 

Her pricey self-tanner can't conceal the blush spreading across her cheeks as she apologizes. "My fault." 

First tough guy Sawyer cries to an officer, now sarcastic and unserious Riley Johnson apologizes a million and one times to a stranger.

Riley's new friend smiles. "No worries. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"Don't worry about me, girl." Their conversation quickly switches into lighter territory and the two of them become fast friends, so we leave Riley to it. 

Katelyn, Layla, and I are in shock. Riley never lets her guard down, even around us. Not necessarily in a bad way. If anything, she's the kind of person to laugh things off and take everything in stride, my exact opposite. 

"Looks like Valentina's not the only one with a little crush," Layla teases as we head towards the massive foyer.

I scoff and decide to play dumb. "Enlighten me, Kumar. Who do I have this little crush on?" I air quote. 

Thank god Katelyn saves me from this conversation. "Riley had hearts in her eyes when she was talking to that girl." She points out. The three of us share the same observation. When we first met Riley, she refused to admit she wasn't straight. We were thrilled when she began to embrace her identity. 

"She has some explaining to do." My comment prompts a smirk from Layla. Confused as to why she's looking at me with mischief in her eyes, I ask: "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You have some explaining to do yourself, V."

"I don't understand."

She puts her head in her hands in frustration. "Mrs. Mendez, you can't be serious."

Although her insinuation about me and Asher irritates me, she's not wrong: Asher Mendez lives in my mind rent free. I won't admit to Layla that in the near future, I want to be Valentina Mendez. "Someone should check on Riley." 

Layla shakes her head, refusing to let me off the hook. "You're not getting out of this that quickly, young lady." 

I roll my eyes at her. "Layla, you're a junior."

"And you're a midget," Layla fires back, resting her sharp elbow on top of my head. I can take a jab about my weight from time to time. When it comes to my height, or lack thereof, even the good natured jokes always hurt my feelings. "You and Mendez, huh?"

"Am I skinny?" I narrow my eyes at her, but the smug look on her face tells me she isn't backing down. "That is absolutely not happening."

Katelyn swoops in and joins Layla in interrogating me. "V, my man's a junior. Age is just a number."  

"He's only a couple months younger than you," Layla adds, offering a perspective I haven't considered. 

I play with one of my necklaces, a habit that emerged out of nowhere. When I'm stressed out, the chilly metal chain between my fingers always calms me down. "I'm not worried about that part. It's just-" 

"What?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't really know him." That's partially true; I've only known him for a couple of days. The larger dilemma is choosing a near stranger over my brother. After all, they say blood is thicker than water. 

"Layla didn't get cuffed by resting on her laurels." Katelyn advises. "One conversation led to another and now she and Knox are basically married."

"Get to know him and see where it goes, Mrs. Mendez." Layla suggests.

I'm contemplating my friends' advice when Sawyer sneaks up on Katelyn, putting his hands on her hips. His presence initially startles Katelyn, who ends up sharing a hug with him. Knox and Asher follow his lead and find their way to us.

"Our car ride was insane," Knox tells Layla, sipping on what I presume is a gas station slushy. I realize I didn't get a good look at him at the hospital. As he talks, I notice braces on his teeth, although they don't hide the fact that his teeth are already straight. Layla mentioned his Jamaican mom and white dad, explaining his complexion that falls somewhere in the middle. 

Asher holds up his slushy. "We got these out of it." 

Layla responds, "I'm just relieved you three made it out alive," and seals her words with a somewhat unexpected, sloppy kiss. It's surprising coming from the most level-headed and pure-hearted among our friends.

Asher grimaces. "Those two should get a room." Despite his sour expression, he still looks unbelievably handsome. 

"Who knew sweet, innocent Layla had that in her?" I joke. In the nicest way possible, she is the biggest goody two shoes I know. 

Even though I'm joking around, I wish someone cared about me the way Knox and Layla care for one another. I'm seventeen and haven't even held hands with a boy. This didn't bother me until a few months ago when Layla and Katelyn got boyfriends. I'm definitely happy for them; Layla's the sweetest and Katelyn is irreplaceable and they both deserve the best. I just want my own Knox or Sawyer, you know?

He cracks a slight smile, faintly revealing the dimples in his cheeks. "I didn't expect this shit from Knox either." He admits. "If we're talking about Sawyer, you don't have to tell me at all." 

I get the sense that he cares a lot about the people in his life, even two polar opposites like his two closest friends. They seem so different from one another I'm sure Asher does his fair share of mediating the disagreements between chirpy Sawyer and the more laid back Knox. He's the kind of person who keeps the peace and makes sure that his loved ones feel heard and understood. 

Asher's good nature and ability to listen make people feel like they matter are attractive qualities that parallel how gorgeous he is. He might be a junior, but he's easily better looking than all the boys in my grade combined.  Even the image of him in a school uniform, with the button-down casually untucked and the tie slightly loose, is etched in my mind. 

Plus, he smells heavenly. The scent of his warm, spicy cologne fills my senses, teasing my nostrils with a comforting and ambrosial blend of cinnamon and another elusive fragrance I don't know. Most of the guys at my school don't even believe in showering, so his unique cologne is a relief from the repulsive smell of sweat that lingers in the hallways and classrooms. 

"Do you..." I ask before hesitating. I can't pinpoint why I'm always so damn shy around him when he never gave me a reason to act like a little girl hiding behind her mom. "What are these parties like? I haven't been to another school's party before."

"Kinda like the movies, but not necessarily." Asher responds. "A lot of Mountain View kids have money. Sawyer invited the whole grade to his house in Florida over the summer."

"Goddamn, y'all are rich rich." I raise my eyebrows.

I don't realize how different we are until this conversation. The mingling of affluent Mountain View kids with my classmates blinds me momentarily. I can count on one hand the number of Slaton High School students with beach houses, yachts, and insane luxury cars the host of this party has. 

Asher nods. "Yes ma'am." Adding ma'am to the end of his response makes me melt. "The cops kinda showed up the last night."

"Asher!" I gasp, his confession surprising me. He doesn't seem like the type to start problems. Seeing as Sawyer convinced the traffic cop earlier not to write him up, I won't be surprised if he told the police officer in Florida some sob story. 

I catch sight of two unfamiliar girls making their way toward us, a blonde and a brunette. When I offer a friendly smile to the blonde, she responds with an eye roll, confirming Layla's earlier warning that not every Mountain View kid has Asher's congeniality. 

The two newcomers completely ignore my presence and approach Asher directly. He shoots me an apologetic glance before they whisk him away, leaving me standing alone. As I watch the girls converse and not so subtly flirt with him, a subtle pang of jealousy tugs at me. I try to brush off my feelings, but the jealous lump in my throat remains. 

I attempt to divert my gaze and focus on something else, but it's a futile effort. They're probably sophomores or juniors yet they're so much prettier than me, taller than me and no bigger than a size eight. Inevitably, self-conscious thoughts begin to creep in, and I can't help but compare myself to them. How am I supposed to feel good about myself when they exist?

Eventually, I tell myself to suck it the fuck up and that Asher has the right to talk to other girls. Why is watching him talk to his friends so upsetting? Instead of standing around and feeling sorry for myself, I decide to try and locate my friends. 

"V!" Katelyn calls out, disrupting my thoughts. "Guess what? Sawyer might ask me to be his girlfriend!"

"Katelyn, that's amazing!" I try to sound happy for her, but I wish I could excitedly tell her the same news about someone else. 

She's so excited I forget about how upset I am about Asher. "After three long months, he did it."

After twenty minutes of chatting with Katelyn about Sawyer, more people show up. Layla's assessment is accurate: I expected to see the newcomers decked out in brands I can't pronounce nor afford. Instead, most of them are in casual outfits like we are. 

The volume goes from a five to about a twelve when they start talking among themselves and the DJ cranks up the music. All of the house's lights are turned off and replaced with neon LED lights throughout.

Katelyn starts a conversation with a group of four unfamiliar girls who just arrived. Unsurprisingly, they instantly embrace her. I wish I was as outgoing and willing to meet people as she is. This is my first party in a long time I thought I would enjoy, but now I regret not staying home with my brother.

I watch the group, plus Katelyn, sit on the couch. I mentally kick myself for being so standoffish, but I remember Asher's disrespectful girlfriend and distance myself. 

A girl with curly blonde hair waves me over, gesturing for me to join them. She seems nice enough, so I swallow my pride and sit next to Katelyn.

"Uh...hey guys." I say nervously, fidgeting with one of my necklaces. 

The blonde smiles at me, instantly calming my nerves. "Hey! I'm Annabelle."

"I'm Valentina." I reply, letting go of Kendra Scott necklace when I realize Annabelle is nice. 

"You go to Slaton?"

"Yeah." I mumble. Compared to Mountain View, my school is a dump. It always smells like sewage, urine, or sweat and the boys' bathroom is full of drug dealers. 

Annabelle nods, and we continue chatting. She and the other three girls she's with are juniors. She's a sweetheart and makes me feel comfortable talking to her. All of her compliments are genuine. In this weird way, Annabelle's ability to listen reminds me of my mom. We talk about childhood memories, our fears, and the boys at our respective schools.

She glances out of one of the windows. "Holy shit, the sunset's so pretty." 

"It is?" I question. 

My gaze travels to the window Annabelle pointed out and I'm immediately enthralled. As the sun dips below the horizon, its warm hues paint the sky in an unforgettable display of colors. Through the window, the kaleidoscope of oranges, pinks, and purples that gently blend together like watercolors on paper captivates me. The fading sunlight casts a warm glow on everything it touches, creating long shadows and creating serenity in the midst of a wild night. 

"You're right." I admit, taking in the serene sight of the sky. "I guess I don't watch the sunset enough."

"Me neither, girl." She admits, playing with the ends of her hair. "I feel like it's one of the only things that stays constant, you know?"

I lock eyes with her. "What do you mean?"

Before I hear what Annabelle has to say, one of her friends, a black haired girl, turns to us. "We were just telling Katelyn about our community service."

"I'm kinda looking forward to it." Annabelle replies, piquing my curiosity. 

"Where?"

Annabelle and her three friends share that Mountain View requires their class to spend time with St. Gabriel's young patients. At first, I'm intrigued, thinking about them volunteering at the same hospital where my brother is undergoing treatment. However, as they share positive experiences, memories flash in my mind, recalling a large group of kids my age touring St. Gabriel's when we were there for Ronan.

"My family made care packages for the patients last Christmas," says the gorgeous black girl. "I think they appreciated it."

Their stories warm my heart, and I am grateful for strangers who want to support kids like my brother. However, the conversation hits the fan when the girl with blonde highlights shares her thoughts. "Y'all can't be serious." She examines her perfectly manicured nails. "I could be in Mexico instead of that stupid hospital. The kids will be fine."

Her comment is met with blank stares from the other three, but I look away. The insensitive comment about community service at St. Gabriel's hits me like a punch to the gut. As someone whose brother is starting treatment at that very hospital, hearing someone dismiss it as "stupid" stings deep. It's a reminder of the privileged mindset that some Mountain View students possess, completely blind to the struggles faced by those less fortunate. 

Anger and frustration well up within me, but I bite my tongue, not wanting to escalate the situation. I guess those luxurious vacations and nail appointments can take a back seat to a little empathy and understanding. God forbid this bitch has to miss out on her shopping sprees funded by daddy's credit card. 

"Cecelia, have some respect," the dark skinned girl shakes her head, making her box braids sway. "Some people have more important things to think about than getting sunburnt in Mexico."

Venom fills the entitled Barbie doll's eyes as she flips her balayaged hair. "I think it's a waste of everyone's time. Everyone was asleep during that stupid meeting."

"Yeah. Annie and I were knocked out. When we woke up, everyone was gone." The third friend who I think is Middle Eastern laughs at herself. 

Annabelle shrugs. "The vibes were off that day."

"My point still stands." Blondie hasn't taken the hint to read the room. "My parents are threatening to sue for wasting my time. McCoy has to listen to them; they're the top Mountain View donors." She has the nerve to smile at her friends the same way you smile if you find the cure to cancer. "You're welcome in advance."

I know this girl's dad would press charges if I insulted his little princess, but I can't hold back anymore. "You have no idea what people go through. Maybe if you spent less time at the spa, you would understand not every problem is solved with a shopping spree."

The two girls whose names I didn't catch share a bewildered look while Annabelle and Katelyn give me a look of gratitude. Blondie, however, looks me up and down in the same condescending way a millionaire scrutinizes a panhandler. "Who pissed in your coffee, girl?"

"V, don't give her the time of day." Katelyn suggests, although it's hard not to punch Cecelia's smug little face off or break into her mansion and shave her hair off. 

Cecelia squeezes my hand like we're best friends or something. "Listen, gorgeous. I'm just saying what my entire class is thinking." Turning to her friends, she begins a new conversation about boys or something.

The old Valentina probably would've let all of her comments slide. However, seeing cancer rip my family apart made each ridiculous statement sting. My parents' usually harmonious relationship is starting to fall through the cracks and darkness fills our once joyful home knowing we're gambling with my brother's life. 

I tell Katelyn to text me if she, Riley, or Layla need anything and retreat to my car. Once I lock myself in, the tears I've been holding back fall harder than an avalanche.

~

this chapter was quite intense, but still one of my favorites