Valentina Karas

I wouldn't wish having parents with unspoken beef with each other on my worst enemy.

In light of his shady behavior on Friday night, it's understandable that Mom analyzes everything that comes out of her husband's mouth. Not only is my house short a person, it's turned into the FBI interrogation room where the criminal refuses to cooperate and the investigator starts to lose her patience. Mom loves NCIS more than life itself and she's more than happy to pry about what Dad does when her back is turned.

In most cases, parents would ask their kids if they had a good time with their friends. Not mine. I'm greeted by the lovely sound of Dad raising his voice at Mom instead of a polite hello. "Shai, why has everything been such a big deal with you lately? You're not the only one struggling."

Mom scoffs. "I wouldn't be struggling this much if you started acting like a forty-one year old man with a sick child and not a self centered jackass." It's a fair assumption that she hasn't exactly been a big fan of my dad lately.

They're too engrossed in their fight to notice me, so I just retreat to my room until it's over. My bed looks extra comfortable today. At this point it's the only place in the house that isn't a minefield. I hang up the dress I got and put on something more comfortable because I'm stuffed from lunch.

I go on my phone and open Snapchat for some reason. Before Asher added me, I rarely use it, if ever. The only people I snap are my friends and maybe five other people since I'm not pretty enough for a full roster of guys. Not having the extensive roster of guys that other girls communicate with made me self conscious for the longest time, but it doesn't matter to me that much anymore. 

Speaking of, he snapped me a couple of hours ago and I didn't see it. All I see are his dark curls and one of his dimples. I snap him a picture of my ceiling fan. Pretty interesting, if you ask me.

I don't even get a chance to blink before he replies and holy shit, he needs to stop rubbing it in that he's God's favorite person. Asher's shirtless in a hot tub, and he's showing off his Greek god body that he got from sports and working out. Even though I weigh well over 100 pounds, he could probably throw me without breaking his back. 

I snap Asher my ceiling again, not the best but he can take it or leave it. If Katelyn could see me, she would laugh at my modest moves on Asher. Since I did my makeup, I could send him a few full face snaps but it's a lot of effort. He matches my energy with a picture of just the hot tub he's in. I'm aware he's pretty rich, but I didn't realize he had a whole hot tub at his house. 

Valentina: Stop rubbing it in that you're loaded lmao

The mature side of me doesn't kick in until right before he opens my text. I instantly feel like a jerk. The odds of him asking me to Homecoming were low enough and my mere Snapchat message ruined any chances I had. My heart stops when he replies, ready to be chewed out by him.

Asher: 😹😹😹

I don't think he minded, but I think I owe him an apology in case he's just good at hiding his emotions.

Valentina: damn that was rude of me i'm sorry. if you don't want to come back to the hospital after this I get it

Asher: don't apologize, if anything I laughed

how's your day going??

It's a simple question, but it makes me pause. Would it be better for me to answer honestly and explain all the fighting between my parents or lie to him and say that everything is going well? I sigh, noticing the muffled sounds of their argument. 

Valentina: amazing. 

Asher: if you're being sarcastic i'm sorry to hear that

your brother?

Valentina: it's family shit but not necessarily about ronan

my parents aren't getting along the best right now I guess

Asher: damn i'm sorry 

Valentina: not your fault but why can't they get along when ronan needs parents who don't fucking hate each other 

sorry to bother you with all of this 

Asher: you're not bothering me at all you have the right to talk it out

As we continue to chat, the tension in my house seems to fade into the background. Talking to Asher is a welcome distraction from the war in my once peaceful living room. I enjoy talking to him about anything, even though we are just getting to know each other. He's a wonderful distraction from the tension filling my house, a feeling akin to jumping into bed and taking an extended nap after the worst day of school ever. Sometimes I wonder why I was ever scared of him. 

We keep texting for around twenty minutes or so about random topics. He sounds excited about his school's homecoming but he never mentions whether or not he has a date. Does that mean he already has plans for the night?

Asher: wyd?

Valentina: nothing interesting haha

I went out with my friends earlier though

Asher: you should definitely come over I kinda miss you

I stare at the unexpected text, reading it over and over again to make sure it's real.

Valentina: come again??

Asher Mendez: you can only spend so much time alone in your hot tub before you get bored

it's totally up to you 

~

Since I've never talked to, let alone gotten invited to a guy's house before, I consult someone who has and got a boyfriend out of it. Katelyn seems way more excited about Asher's invitation than I am, a total one-eighty from the girl who was terrified of Sawyer. 

katelyn salazar: VALENTINA I'M SO PROUD OF YOUUUU

did you say yes?

To my best friend's chagrin, I merely told Asher I'd think about his offer without a clear yes or no. It evidently was one of the worst ways to approach this according to her. In my defense, this whole thing feels too good to be true. 

katelyn salazar: i hope i'm getting pranked.

seriously you should go see him, what's stopping you?

My mind flickers to Christmas when I was younger. Like most little girls, dolls were my favorite things in the world. I treated them the same way a mother cares for a newborn baby, vigilant about who could and couldn't touch them. It wasn't a shock to anyone that a new addition to my collection was my top wish. On Christmas morning, I tore open the wrapping paper and immediately fell in love with my present: she had long brown hair ready to be braided and brushed and was clad in a purple princess dress. Little Valentina was in heaven until God changed His mind and kicked her out. 

One minute I was immersed in doll world and the next, my new friend fell apart. Her left arm was now detached from her body, staring at me from the floor. I was understandably confused: I hadn't made her run a marathon or jump out of a plane within a few hours of meeting her. It didn't take long for confusion to give way to a full on tantrum. None of the other dolls in my room could make me feel better. I outgrew playing with toys, but that didn't make it the last time I learned that lesson: if it's too good to be true, it probably is. 

Katelyn's right: what's stopping me? The pressure builds as I reread the text over and over with no idea what to do. Going to his house feels like such a big step between us. My life at home is spiraling so quickly it's getting harder and harder to keep up every day. It's just me hanging out with a potential friend with no strings attached, but I know deep down Asher will eventually want more from me. 

katelyn salazar: you don't have to know what you want right away 

just promise you will take it one day at a time 

Her advice loosens the knot in my stomach, but isn't enough to untie it all the way. Going to his house still terrifies the shit out of me. All freaking out aside, I know she's right—I do deserve to enjoy myself. 

Valentina: okay katelyn I think i'll do it

katelyn salazar: yes ma'am.

don't get pregnant or murdered 

but have fun above all else

I mentally roll my eyes at Katelyn's concern, feeling relieved my little situation figured itself out. What I haven't figured out, however, is what to wear. After the mall, I figured I wasn't doing anything special so I threw on the first big t-shirt I could find and that definitely won't cut it. Asher also mentioned his hot tub, meaning I'll have to wear a bathing suit in front of him. Of course something else comes up when I think I'm done worrying for the day. He doesn't seem to mind my size, but guys can be brutal. 

Every time I slip on a swimsuit, the points and whispers linger in my mind. I wore a two piece to a pool party thinking nothing of it until Katelyn showed me the Snapchat stories. Some boys decided to snap pictures of me and call me the most dehumanizing names you can call someone. They say your weight is the least interesting thing about you until it's the reason guys don't approach you. 

Valentina: katelyn we have an emergency 

katelyn salazar: that was fast

what's up?

Valentina: what do you wear to a guy's hot tub

idk how comfortable i am wearing a bikini

katelyn salazar: then don't haha

you know that one piece with the cutout on the side?

it's not too prudish but doesn't show too much

I look through my drawers and find what I'm looking for, a black one piece with a triangular cutout running from right under my armpit to right before my belly button. There's a push up bra built into the chest, making my boobs look better than they do naturally. 

After I settle on a bathing suit, my next task is finding something to wear over it. I find a big t-shirt that isn't as ratty as the one I was lounging in and some denim shorts that make my thighs look more massive than they are. 

I take another deep breath, my heart racing. It's just hanging out, I remind myself. Nothing more, nothing less. But even as I try to calm down, I can't ignore the flutter of anticipation in my chest. I'm so nervous it'll be hard to drive to his house without having a panic attack behind the wheel. Even with my favorite playlist on it's impossible to pull it together.

Asher's house is two or three minutes away from the hospital. I've only been to this side of town to visit Ronan, so driving past the hospital is surreal. St. Gabriel's prioritizes its patients' well being but making it look as inviting as it is must be a close second. The plants that stand next to the door look like they get TLC from professionals who charge an arm and a leg for their work. Whoever is in charge of maintaining the hospital must watch a lot of HGTV. 

The posh neighborhood is known for quality restaurants and the home of Mountain View Academy. Every house I drive past finds a way to call my middle class family and I poor. I'm sure my modest house could fit in their roomy kitchens. A competitive tennis match is happening on the court situated in the middle of the neighborhood. It's a perfect utopia where people walk their dogs without a care in the world. 

When my GPS tells me I made it to his house, my jaw drops in shock. It looks like I left Earth and transported into a painting, the grass so green it could be fake and the brown bricks of the mansion reminiscent of a chocolate sculpture. Like the surrounding houses, it's huge. It isn't an Elon Musk level acquisition but the hospital must pay his mom pretty well.

I remember I'm here to see Asher, not stare at his house like it's the finished product of an HGTV show. I ring the doorbell and brace myself. 

A Hispanic woman who is slightly taller than me steps out, brows knitted together in confusion. I look back at her with a puzzled expression. All I know is that's not Dr. Mendez.

"Um...hi." Eye contact feels like the hardest thing in the world, but I do my best. "Is Asher here?"

The woman's face changes when she puts two and two together. "He's in the backyard."

"Alright," I say, still nervous as hell. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." She finally smiles, ushering me inside with her. I open my mouth to say something else, but the house's spectacular views tape my mouth shut.

Outside was just a preview. Asher's house is beautiful, a mix of magazine-like elegance and a regular house where a family like any other makes memories. The foyer is probably the size of  my entire house, decorated with plants that almost look fake and a few pieces of minimalistic artwork. As we traverse through the house, I see several photos but don't scrutinize them too closely. 

"So, how do you know Asher?" Like a mother's yelling that interrupts a sweet dream, the woman's thick Spanish accent pulls me out of my trance. 

"Uh..." I realize I was so out of it her question sounded like straight up gibberish. Replying to her feels like staring at the queen of England's ghost, unsure of what to say when she addresses you. The few seconds it took to think of something in coherent English feel like an eternity before I finally manage a, "he's just a friend of mine."

"Alright." She nods, still not fully convinced I definitely don't have feelings for Asher. From our three minute interaction, I gauged she's a protective mama bear. What I still can't figure out is how she knows him well enough to warrant an interrogation for the random girl he invited over. 

I quickly forget about my confusion when Asher waltzes inside. His brown eyes widen when he notices my presence. "Valentina? Is that you?"

"No Asherito, it's Kim Kardashian." The woman shoots him a scornful look, prompting him to roll his eyes. Her icy stare melts away when she turns back to me, this time a silent apology flashing across her face. 

"Valentina." She repeats my name and looks me up and down. While it's not comparable, I understand how my brother feels when the doctors examine him, part of their job and part of anyone's pity. "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

In the near silence of the house, my heart starts pounding, a symptom of my rising embarrassment. Even though I've been complimented rather than shunned, it still makes me want to curl up into a ball and everyone just acts like nothing happened. It's a shock to no one that compliments and Valentina don't mix. If I were as outgoing and perfect as my best friend, my low self esteem would fuck off.

Asher seems to mirror my bashfulness, a shy smile tugging at his perfectly shaped lips. He's always been my confident and charismatic polar opposite. The crack in his perfect persona, caused by his relative, maid, or whoever the mischievous woman I met is weirdly comforting. There are people in my life I'll never measure up to no matter how hard I try, feeling planets and light-years away from me even if we go to the same school. It's funny how I considered Asher an alien, an attractive and popular one at that.  But now, here he is, no longer a mystery, just himself. His world, once beyond my comprehension, has gradually come into focus.

"Well, there's my stepson. You two be good." Newly revealed as Asher's stepmother, the woman sees herself out with an amused smirk like a thief leaving with her haul of valuables. The quiet pats of her black fur slippers meeting the wooden floor resonate throughout the house.

Now that it's just Asher and I, I freely check him out without setting off his stepmom's radar. He's wearing a white t-shirt with Texas Longhorns baseball in burnt orange writing, a blue and white towel around his waist. I note his biceps fill out his sleeves and the way his shirt marries his athletic body. That head of messy dark curls I run my fingers through in my dreams looks overdue for a haircut but he makes it look attractive. His hair is also soaking wet, presumably from the hot tub outside. Hot doesn't do the perfect brown eyed boy justice.

"It's nice to see you again." He smiles at me and my new favorite dimple appears in his cheek. "Do you want something to drink?"

I shake my head. Asher might not seem like a weirdo now, but the horror stories about other girls make me a little hesitant. 

Asher nods. "Just tell me if you need anything. I got you." 

He leads the way to the back porch, his damp hair still dripping from the hot tub. As I follow, I try to act natural, but it's impossible not to stare. The way his biceps stretch against the sleeves of his t-shirt, how his towel casually slung around his waist makes it seem like this whole look was effortless. 

Every part of the house is nicer than the last, and the backyard is no exception. On one side, the large, bubbling hot tub sits underneath a wooden canopy, making it clear this is where the real relaxation happens. On the other, a tan couch and matching dark brown lawn chairs form a cozy circle around an outdoor fire pit that won't be needed for at least another month. 

"This is really nice," I comment, still in utter shock I'm in this resort of a house. 

Asher shrugs, walking closer to the hot tub and peeling off his shirt. "Yep. When basketball and baseball aren't taking up all of my damn time, I'd say this is my favorite place in the house."

"Your family's loaded."

He rolls his eyes, making it clear he hears that a lot from his visitors. "I wouldn't say all that."

"Suit yourself," I shoot back, a random surge of confidence in my bloodstream. 

Asher chuckles, raking a hand through his shaggy curls. "You tryna get in?" He gestures towards the tub, the soft bubbling getting more and more enticing.

I forgot what I was here for, but I take my own clothes off before my self consciousness kicks in and refuses to let me enjoy the moment. Like the hospitable people of Hawaii greeting the giddy tourists, the water gives me a warm welcome. We sit in relaxing silence with no one initiating a conversation.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm surprised you actually came," the Puerto Rican confesses.

My eyebrows knit together, not sure how to respond to his statement. "Really? How come?" 

"I don't know. You kinda said you'll think about it and never said you were actually coming." I open my mouth to defend myself only to find his finger up to my lips. "I'm glad you came, V. I missed you."

"You missed me?" I echo, caught off guard. 

He frowns, but the warmth in his eyes lingers. "Why do you sound so shocked?"

For a moment, I just sit there, unsure of what to say. The warm water around us makes the real world with cancer and parents who hate one another feel far away. We're in this bubble, safe from everything else. 

"We just saw each other, Asher," I finally settle on, referring to his surprise ''community service hours" visit. It's not the real reason, but it's true, right? 

His face softens, but it clicked in his head I'm bullshitting him. "Ain't nothing wrong with wanting to see you again, unless I'm missing something."

This motherfucker. As shocking as his news is, I must admit I feel the same way. Who wouldn't? People at school look at me as the big girl with a sick brother while Asher treats me normally. Normal is all I want as out of reach as a normal life is. He might not be able to rewrite the past, but he makes stability feel a little bit closer when I need it most.

~

sorry for making y'all wait. luckily the next chapter is already partially written, she just needs a few tweaks and she's good to go.