Episode 33

Family friend

"Ayaw mo ba talagang ikasal sa'kin?"

Vladimir and I were sitting again on the swings in the playground of their community. May playground din sa subdivision namin but for some reason, I find comfort in here.

I tilted my head sideways to look at Vlad who was looking at me too. Our eyes interlocked and his hazel brown eyes landed on mine. Even if I would like him after some time, do I deserve his kind of man?

Mabait, magalang, nagpapaubaya, matalino, palakaibigan... lahat na! So why... Bakit si Val pa ang nagustuhan ko?

I shook my head by his question. "Kilala mo naman kung sino ang gusto ko..." It was almost a whisper. I don't want to hurt him. He's too precious that I want to treasure him... even as a friend.

"Yes... Naiintindihan ko..." mahina niyang sagot sabay lihis ng tingin bago yumuko.

I held his hand. I feel guilty for rejecting him. He's the only friend that stayed with me for years. Si Shreya at Sky ay minsan ko lang nakakausap tuwing social gatherings. Aside from them and Valentine, Vladimir is the only best friend that I have.

"Ayo'ko na ipipilit ako ng mga magulang ko sa kasal. Lalo na kung hindi pa 'ko handa. But I really like you, Cy. Even just a friend. Kahit 'wag na lahat ng 'to..."

He looked at me again and stared. Bakit ba kasi kami pa ang kailangang ikasal? Siguro naman ay may magagawa pa 'ko para pilitin ang mga magulang ko na ako ang pipili ng gusto kong mapangasawa?

My parents treasured me so much that I don't get it why they want to fix me in a marriage. Parang hindi na nga uso 'yun sa panahon namin.

"Sigurado ka na ba? I don't want to pressure you, Hya. As much as I... wanted you... I don't want you getting hurt." He caressed my cheeks and smiled at me genuinely.

"They said I have everything. But I can't have you so I have nothing, Hyacinth." He smiled a bit. "I'll try to talk to my parents."

Tumango ako at tumayo sa swing para yakapin siya. I want to thank him for his kindness. For his never-ending love. I hope that in the near future, he will find the woman that will reciprocate his love.

Umuwi agad ako sa bahay pagkatapos noon. The maids greeted me with a smile so I smiled back to them too. I wanted to ask my parents about this matter.

Sabi sa'kin kanina ni Cyrus ay kakausapin niya na rin ang mga magulang niya. Sila Mommy and Daddy nalang talaga ang problema. I marched my way towards their office room at naabutan kong nakabukas ng maliit ang pinto nito.

"Haylor... Tama ba 'tong pinagkasundo natin ang anak natin sa mga De Dios?" my mom softly asked while scanning the papers in front of her desk.

"Hindi ko alam, Cynthia. Our firm is known as the best in the country pero malaki ang nawala natin ngayong taon. If this is the only way, why not? Mukhang ayos lang din naman kay Hya."

"But based from her reaction last time... I don't want her to suffer. Mas mabuti pa na bumagsak na lang tayo kaysa masaktan si Hya..." She fixed the papers in front of her before going near Dad's table. Hinihilot lang ni Daddy ang sentido niya.

"We can't back down now... Napangako na natin iyon kanila Jash at Lerie. Iisipin nila na hindi natin sineseryoso ang mga bagay-bagay kung ganito..." Dad said before removing his glasses.

Napangunot naman ang noo ko dahil sa pinag-uusapan nila. Will they really trade my future for our company? Really?

I knocked on the door so they will notice my presence. They both lifted their heads and shock was written on their faces. "K-kanina ka pa?" My mom nervously asked. I shook my head but that was a lie.

"Mom... Dad... I'm here to talk about the engagement..." I started. My hands were on my back while I was walking towards their table.

Umupo ulit si Mommy sa mesa niya at iginiya ako sa malapit na sofa. "What is it, Hya?" my Mom asked. There seemed to be a lump stuck on my throat that I can't mutter a thing.

"About sa... e-engagement..." I started. "Ayo'ko pong ikasal kay Cyrus..."

Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa mukha ng mga magulang ko. The first time I talked to them about this, they just dismissed me so I thought they won't allow me to open this topic again.

"Hindi po siya ang gusto ko... Mom... Dad..." I sounded pleading to them and they looked at me with sadness in their eyes before Dad spoke.

"Hya... Ayaw rin namin ang nangyayari but..." Napapikit siya sa pagpipigil ng salita. "Can you at least do this for the company—" Mom stopped him.

"Haylor! Wala na ba talaga tayong magagawa?" My Dad shook his head bago tumingin ulit sa'kin. "Sino ba ang gusto mo, Hya— I mean... May nagugustuhan ka na ba ngayon? Masyado ka pang bata..."

My hands were trembling for some reason. "Si V-valentine po... ang kapatid ni Cyrus..." I don't want to think about marriage yet. But if this the only way to get out of it, then I will do it.

"Haylor..." Mom said. "Mapapakiusapan ba na si Val na lang?"

I looked at Mom with widened eyes. Totoo bang gagawin nila 'yun? Pero biglang napabagsak ako nang tingin when I remembered Valentine's dark stares.

Pa'no kung siya naman ang may ayaw sa'kin?

I sound selfish, really. If I will ask them to change it to Valentine, hindi lang si Vlad ang masasaktan ko... Pati na rin si Val dahil baka hindi niya naman talaga ako gusto...

Baka pinaglalaruan niya lang ako dahil sa halik niya...

"Wait..." tawag ko sa kanila. Tama ba 'tong gagawin ko? That even though I don't want this... I want to help our company? Nagustuhan ko naman si Vlad dati eh... kaya baka bumalik din 'yung feelings ko.

"Yes, Hya? Tatawagan na namin sila Valeri—" I stopped them. Tama ba 'tong gagawin ko?

"Ituloy na lang po natin, M-mommy..." mahina kong sambit habang nakapikit ang mata. Magiging masaya ba 'ko sa desisyon ko?

"Huh? Pero kakasabi mo lang—" I lifted my head to give her a sad smile. "Kaibigan ko naman po si Vlad... Hindi po imposible na magkagusto ako sa kanya." Dahil baka ang imposible ay ang makalimutan ko si Val.

My parents nodded in agreement and I just sighed. Maybe this is my destiny. My path of life. That towards my way to the end of the road, mine and Valentine's paths will never cross. In an alternate universe, maybe.

Tinanong nila 'ko kung talaga bang ayos lang ba sa'kin. I just nodded but deep inside I was hurt. I just texted Vlad to stop his plans on telling his parents.

To: Best Cyrus

Cy, Kinausap ko na sila Mommy... Sabi ko na ituloy nalang 'yung ano... uhm... kasal

Hindi pa nakakalipas ang isang minuto ay nag-reply na agad siya.

From: Best Cyrus

Huh? Akala ko ba ayaw mo na?

To: Best Cyrus

Basta. Kwento ko sa'yo bukas. Pupunta ako riyan.

Nag-usap pa kami sa chat nang matagal nang bigla kong naalala si Val. Gusto niya ba talaga ako? Para saan 'yung halik noong nakaraan? Pa'no kung pinaglalaruan niya lang pala 'yung feelings ko?

To: Val

Can we meet-up? Kahit sa playground lang ng community niyo. I promise that this will be the last...

I waited for a reply but he left me on read. Nag-ayos pa rin ako kahit kaunti at habang nakaharap ako sa salamin. Sinuot ko ang binigay niyang k'wintas noong birthday ko.

"Pa'no kung wala naman siya sa pagkikitaan namin?" I asked myself while brushing my hair.

I want to erase those negative thoughts but that's clearly inevitable. Naiiyak ako habang iniisip na papakasalan ko lang si Vlad para sa kompanya at hindi dahil mahal ko siya. Pero mas nakakaiyak na 'yung taong gusto ko talaga, dine-deadma lang ako at pinapaubaya sa kapatid niya.

Pinalis ko ang namumuong luha sa mga mata ko. I feel hopeless. Parang nawawalan na 'ko ng pag-asa. But I should be strong... Para rin 'to sa pamilya namin...

Nagpaalam ako sa mga magulang ko na may kikitain lang and they just nodded. Parang pinagbibigyan nalang nila ako sa mga gusto ko dahil malaki naman ang ambag ko sa kompanya.

When I arrived at the playground, I was shocked when I saw Valentine standing with his arms crossed habang nakasandal sa isang equipments doon. He was wearing his usual black t-shirt and maong shorts. Naka-tsinelas lang siya pero mukha pa rin siyang mayaman!

He sensed my presence so he tilted his head at my side. My heart was beating too fast even when I 'm now walking towards him. My hands and knees were trembling. Kaya ko ba 'to?

When I arrived at his station, I quickly started a conversation. "Akala ko 'di ka pupunta..." I lifted my head to glance at his reaction but it was as cold as ice! He maintained a poker face before speaking that shocked me.

"Why did you tell me to go here?" malalim ang boses niyang tugon.

Napalunok ako bago sumagot. "I'm here to talk to you about the... uh... engagement..." There was still coldness in his eyes but it only darkened more because of what I've just said.

"Anong gagawin ko roon?"

"I wanted to tell you na pumayag na 'ko tungkol doon..."

Silence immediately spread and it was an awkward one. Parang nakakatakot magsalita ulit dahil baka magalit si Val. Binaba ko nalang ang tingin sa sahig dahil naiilang na 'ko sa mariin niyang mga titig.

"Anong gagawin ko?"

Kusa akong napaangat ng tingin dahil sa sinabi niya. Anong... gagawin niya? Oo nga, anong gagawin niya dahil sa sinabi ko? Maybe I just want to clear some things before it's too late. Ayokong magsisi sa dulo.

"I just want to ask you... about your opinion on this." I saw how he pursed his lips into a thin line. His knuckles were now tightly closed as if he's suppressing his emotions.

"Do what you want. Pakasalan mo ang kapatid ko if that's you choice. Leave me out of the picture," malamig niyang sabi. Did he meant what he just said?

"Bakit...? Bakit mo pa 'ko hinalikan noong nakaraan kung hindi mo naman pala ako gusto? Alam mo namang ikaw 'yung gusto ko but you took advantage of the situation! You know that we're just fifteen and I'm inexperienced to that!" naiinis ko nang sabi sa kanya.

He started marching towards my position hanggang sa halos isang galaw ay mahahalikan niya na 'ko. My knees were trembling and I was about to back-out when suddenly hugged me tight. I can feel his warm body giving warmth to mine.

Para akong naiiyak dahil sa kanya. Ano na naman 'to? Papaasahin niya na naman ako? Dahil sa yakap niya?

"Because you only marry the man you love. The fact that you've agreed to this marriage means that you love my brother. And I have no choice but to let you go. I'm sorry, Elara. This will be our goodbye."

He kissed my hair and I also hugged him tight. My tears were flowing at hindi ko matanggap na parang sinabing niya gusto niya rin ako pero magpapakasal ako sa kapatid niya. Is this really the right choice?

Nang huminahon na sa pag-iyak ay kumalas na 'ko sa yakap. "What's with the kiss last time? Gusto m-mo ba 'ko?"

He stared at me intently. "Yes..." It was almost a whisper but I can still hear him. "E'di ba't mo 'ko hinahayaang ikasal sa kapatid mo?" I asked in return but he just shook his head.

"Some things are just impossible to try. We're too young for love. We're too young for all this stuff. Who knows that you will come to like my brother after some time?"

Napabagsak naman ang tingin ko dahil sa sinabi niya. So this is really the end, huh? Hanggang dito nalang kami? Hanggang dun nalang 'yun?

Weeks passed by fast and it was already December. My mom already contacted some of the finest fashion designers in the country for my gown in my engagement party with Cyrus.

Vlad and I had been talking for a while again like we're comfortable with each other. But I can't help but think about Valentine amidst all of this stuff. Kung gusto niya 'ko, bakit hindi niya pigilan ang lahat ng 'to?

"Hyacinth! You're so beautiful, honey!"

Kitang-kita ang saya sa mukha ni Mommy dahil siya ang kasama ko ngayon dito. I smiled at her but pain still lingered in my heart. My eyes watered by the thought that I never really wanted this.

I am wearing a black backless off-shoulder ball gown that has sparkling gold glitters at the end of its cloth. My shoulder and back were exposed and I have not much make-up on my face but my hair was tied in a messy bun.

"You look... gorgeous..." Kasama rin pala namin si Vlad dahil pinagpilitan ni Mommy na dapat ay kasama siya. I just shyly thanked him.

Nakaharap ako sa salamin and all I could think off was Valentine and our last talk. Hindi niya na 'ko kinausap masyado pagkatapos noon at lagi na siyang iwas. It was too heartbreaking to see your man avoiding you.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako nang malalim.

Pagkatapos naming magpasukat ng tinahing gown, Mom told me that me and Cyrus should go to a mall first to bond. Wala ako sa mood gumala pero dahil wala rin naman akong gagawin ay pumayag na 'ko.

"Are you okay?" tanong sa'kin ni Vlad with a worried expression.

"Yep..." matamlay kong sagot. I was shocked when he suddenly offered me some ice cream on an ice cream shop. He really knows me well.

Pagkapunta namin sa ice cream shop, ganun nalang ang gulat ko nang makita ko si Val na may kasamang ibang babae! I think the girl was about our age and she was smiling widely at Valentine!

Bitterness spread quickly like poison inside me. Parang may kumakalat na lason sa katawan ko and my tears started to water. Parang ang sakit ng puso ko dahil sa nakikita ko.

"Cy... S-sino 'yun... ?" I asked Vlad when I saw the girl suddenly clung onto Val's arms while giggling. Ang sarap sabunutan!

"Saan?" When he turned to the other direction, I saw how his smile faded. Tumingin siya sa'kin nang may pag-aalala but I urged him to spill on who that woman is.

"That's Dhara... A family friend..."

Bigla akong napadilat ng mata ko at sumalubong sa'kin ang nakakasilaw na ilaw.

I roamed my eyes inside the room and I noticed that it was all white. Tiningnan ko ang katawan ko at nakita kong nakapang-hospital ako na damit at may nakatarak na dextrose sa kamay ko.

I searched for someone to ask on where am I but there was no voice coming from my throat. Hindi ko rin magalaw ng maayos ang katawan ko.

Nagulat ako nang biglang gumalaw ang babaeng natutulog na sa gilid ng kama ko. She lifted her head and I saw that it was Rylie! Anong ginagawa niya rito at nasaan kami?

Shock was written all over his face with her widened eyes and jaw-dropping reaction. I can see the side of her eyes watering with me awake in front of her. What's really happening?

"Ate H-hya... Gising ka na talaga...? H-hindi naman 'to panaginip, 'di ba...?"

I blinked my eyes twice dahil hindi ko mabuka ang bibig ko. Parang hindi ko ma-kontrol ng maayos ang katawan ko. And that's how Rylie started calling out to the nurses and doctor.

"Nurse! Nurse! Call the doctor please! G-gising na si Ate Hya!"

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