Episode 32

Engaged

"Malapit na ba tayo?"

I curiously asked Valentine while he's too focused in front. Tumango lang siya habang nag-d-drive kaya sumilip nalang ako sa bintana. Natanaw ko ang isang pamilyar na mansyon na nakikita ko lang sa panaginip ko.

I held my head as it started to hurt a little by the sight of the mansion. It still looked new even though almost a decade had already passed.

"Are you okay?" Val glanced at me sideways and I can't help but to squeeze my eyes shut because of a sudden headache. Anong nangyayari?

"Bakit ba kasi hindi mo 'ko pinapansin?"

I asked the young Valentine, one gloomy day at school. Talagang pinanindigan niya na kasi ang hindi niya pagpansin sa'kin.

He just walked past through me like I'm a passing wind so I grabbed his sleeves in frustration and anger. "Val! Nakakairita ka naman eh!"

He stopped walking and glanced at me for a bit. His dark brown hooded eyes bore into mine darkly. I can see his teeth greeting and his jaw clenching, as if he's stopping his emotions.

"What do you need?" he seriously asked.

"Ikaw! Bakit ka umiiwas! Akala ko ba magkaibigan tayo? Saka... saka..." Hindi ko matuloy ang sasabihin ko na gusto ko siya dahil nahihiya ako. Ang kapal naman kasi ng mukha mo, Hyacinth! Sino ang sumusumbat sa crush na pansinin ka!

"What, Elara?" He started marching over my place.

Nasa waiting shed kami sa labas ng school namin dahil susunduin na sana kami ng kotse ng mga De Dios. The sky gloomed more and I think... It was about to rain.

"Hmm? What is it, Elara? Anong sasabihin mo?" He continued closing the gap between us and I knew I was doomed when my back reached the walls of the waiting shed.

"U-uhm..." I stuttered while thinking of an excuse. Aamin na ba 'ko? As in now na?

Nagulat ako nang biglang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan at buti nalang ay nasa waiting shed kami! Mas dinikit ni Valentine ang katawan niya sa'kin. "Baka mabasa ka at magkasakit pa," he said with a cold voice.

Napalunok ako. "Ano ulit 'yung sasabihin mo?" he continued. Akala ko ay nakalimutan niya na!

"Uhm... G-gus... Gusto k-kita..." Pahina ng pahina kong bulong. Pinikit ko ang mata ko sa kahihiyan. Oh my goodness! That's not me earlier! That's my alter ego!

"I can't hear you..." Mas lumapit pa siya at ramdam ko na ang mainit niyang hininga sa mukha ko. He put his two arms beside me to lock me in place. Mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

"G-gusto kita! Gusto... kita! Val!" matapang kong sagot.

I saw him smirk and the next thing he did, shocked the hell out of me! He lifted my chin up and let our eyes meet. I think I'm as red as a tomato right now because of what he's doing!

"You like me? Akala ko ba si Kuya?" he asked with amazement in his tone. A small ghost of a smile formed in his thin lips.

"I-ikaw... ang gusto ko..." Pinilit kong ibaba ang tingin ko dahil hindi ko na kaya ang titig niya but he lowered his head and kissed my damned lips! When his soft lips crashed on mine, my head became hazy and I think my heart stopped beating for a moment.

Under the waiting shed and the soundly pour of the rainwaters from the sky, I got my first real kiss when I was just fifteen... From a cupid-like boy... named...

Valentine Cyrus De Dios.

"Elara, hey... Gusto mo bang umuwi na lang muna. We can cancel this if you want. It's your call, baby."

Dumilat ako sa isang malalim na boses na mula sa lalaking katabi ko. Pumupungay pa ang mga mata dahil sa sandaling pagbalik ng alaala ko, nilingon ko siya.

A lot of things changed in him. And that includes his physique. He is more muscular and taller now than when we were young. I glanced at his lips, then I remembered the kiss we had when I was just fifteen years old! Ang harot!

"Elara?" tanong ulit ni Val pero hindi ko matanggal ang tingin ko sa labi niya.

I suddenly remembered the scene from the cemetery! Noong inakala ko na hinalikan niya ako. Every scenario was the same! That we were under the waiting shed at umuulan din noon. Posible kayang akala ko ay hinalikan niya ako no'n pero hindi talaga dahil base lang 'yun sa mga alaala ko?

"Why are you staring at my lips, baby..." Napabalik ako sa reyalidad nang biglang lumapit si Val dahil kanina pa 'ko nakatitig sa labi niya.

I just planted a quick kiss on his lips before going out of the car. "Halika na! Baka naghihintay na sila!" I said before quickly removing my seatbelt.

"Pwede naman sila maghintay..." He held my hand while I was about to go out. Napatawa na lang ako sa reaksyon niya bago tanggalin ang kamay niya para makaalis na kami. He cutely pouted.

Sabay kaming naglakad papasok sa mansyon nila. It feels nostalgic that I'm back again after... five... or maybe six years? Napahigpit ako ng hawak sa kamay ni Val nang biglang sumakit na naman ang ulo ko at bumalik ang mga alaala.

"Why are you kissing her?!"

Malakas na sapak ang ginawad ni Vladimir kay Valentine habang nauulanan na sila pareho. "Cyrus! Val! Tama na!" Nakahawak si Vlad sa collar ni Val, habang putok naman ang labi nito dahil sa suntok ng kapatid.

"Alam ko naman, Val! Alam ko naman na ikaw ang gusto niya! Pero bata pa kayo! Umayos ka naman!" Vladimir shaked Valentine who just smirked with his laments. Muntik na siyang sapakin ulit ni Vlad kung hindi ko lang pinigilan. "Cyrus... Please... Tama na..."

He looked at me and it is the first time that I saw him getting angry like this. He is always the patient one na laging nagpapakumbaba. Laging nagpapaubaya...

Napatigil sila sa pag-aaway nang biglang dumating na ang kotseng susundo sa'min. I was shocked when I saw our car and their family's car, nearing upon our position. Sila Mommy ba ang susundo sa'min?

"Val... Feeling ko talaga masungit mga magulang mo..."

Sinalubong kami ng mga maids and other households upon entering. Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang design ng mansion kahit ilang taon na ang nakalipas. It does not look old because I think it's renovated every year.

"It's okay. Nandito naman ako. They will not hurt you..." He smiled a bit at me so I smiled too.

Sabi niya ay nasa kompanya pa raw ang mga magulang niya pero nang tinawagan niya dahil pupunta kami ay agad na sinabing uuwi na. But why would they work on a Christmas Day?

Naalala ko na naman ang sinabi ni Tita bago kami umalis ng mansyon. Na ang pamilya raw ni Valentine ang pasimuno sa nagpapatay ng magulang ko. But... our family were friends based on my last memory...

Parang may hindi tumutugma...

Valentine held my hand while we were strolling around the corners of the mansion. Sa gitna ng isang malaking hall, may painting ng pamilya nila at... I stared at the boy near Valentine in the picture.

It was Vladimir!

"Val... Nasa'n na nga pala si..." Inisip ko muna kung dapat ko bang itanong. Baka mag-away pa kami? Kasi dati ay nagsuntukan pa sila dahil sa paghalik sa'kin ni Val eh.

"Hmm?" He held my waist from behind and slightly squeezed them while his head was now on my shoulders. Napangiti ako. Bakit ko pa hahanapin si Vlad kung nandito naman si Val?

"Nevermind..." I kissed him on the cheeks but then my head hurt and the next thing I knew, childhood memories flashbacked again.

"Mom, Dad! Parang ngayon niyo lang ako sinundo from school!" masigla kong bati sa mga magulang ko.

They kissed my forehead and embraced me tightly. I really love my parents. Kung mawawala sila... baka hindi ko kayanin. Kahit lagi silang wala, they have never failed to show their love to me. I will always choose them. Whatever happens.

"May pag-uusapan kasi kami ng mga De Dios. We'll go to their mansion first. Is that okay or marami ka pang gagawin?" Mommy said while slowly caressing my hair. Umiling na lang ako at nginitian sila.

Our driver quickly drove to the De Dios' mansion. I was all smiles but then frowned when I realized that I left the two brothers alone when I was the sole reason why they fought.

Ako ba talaga ang may kasalanan? Kung hindi ba ako dumating sa buhay nila ay baka hindi sila naging magkaaway?

Nang nasa tapat na kami ng mansyon ay biglang nanlamig ang mga kamay ko. Maayos na ba si Val? Baka pinagalitan sila kasi sinuntok siya ni Vlad?

"Honey... Let's go?" masayang boses ang gamit ni Mommy pero may bakas ng lungkot ang mga mata no'n. Si Daddy naman ay hinawakan ang kamay ni Mom para makapasok na kami sa mansyon.

Pagkapasok namin sa mansyon ay siya ring pagpasok ng mga De Dios habang si Val at Vlad naman ay masama pa rin ang tingin sa isa't-isa.

"Sit muna kayo! Come here," masiglang bati ng Mama nila Val.

Sumunod kami at umupo sa couch nila sa Living Room. Mas feel at home na ako rito kaysa sa mga magulang ko dahil madalas naman akong tumatambay rito.

Umupo na rin sila sa tapat na couch at nakita kong nakabusangot pa rin ang magkapatid. Napayuko nalang ako sa kahihiyan. What if our parents will know that Valentine kissed me?

"So... we've decided..." Valentine's Mom initiated the conversation.

Napatingin ako kay Val na ngayon ay nakatingin lang sa'kin ng mariin. He licked his lower lip while slightly smirking at me. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Hyacinth, hija... we'll consult our daughter first about this. Pero sabi niya naman ay dati niya pang gusto si Vladimir eh. So... Baka ayos lang din." My parents smiled. What are they saying?

"For the betterment of each company in the near future... We've decided na..." Tita Valerie smiled at me then turned to her husband. Anong pinagdesisyunan nila?

"That we're arranging a marriage for the two of you in the near future! Congratulations, Hyacinth and Cyrus!" My mouth dropped at the sudden announcement. Have I heard it right?

"Nandiyan na 'ata sila Mommy."

Napadilat ako dahil sa biglang pagsasalita ni Valentine mula sa likod ko. He was still hugging me from the back, and we're in front of the large portrait of their family.

Pinagkasundo kami sa isang kasal ni Cyrus?!

"Sorry we're late," malamig na boses ang narinig ko mula sa likod. Pamilyar ito kaya agad akong humarap sa gawi no'n. I saw Valentine's Dad who looked exactly like him.

Nagulat ako nang makita ko ang mga magulang ni Valentine but I'm finding one specific person. Kung pinagkasundo talaga kami dati... bakit hindi natuloy? Nasaan na ba si Vladimir?

I searched Vladimir but he was nowhere to be found. Iginiya na lang kami ng mga magulang ni Val sa malapit na couch.

Nang makaupo na kami ay hinawakan na ni Val ng mahigpit ang kamay ko. I looked at his both parents, only to be amazed at how young they looked like!

His mother looked in her mid-40s but her aura screamed never-ending elegance and class. Kita ang pagkamataray sa mukha ng Mommy niya with her long-curled eyelashes, perfectly trimmed eyebrows and dark eye shadows. Sa Daddy niya naman namana ang pagiging masungit dahil tahimik lang ito, while staring at us darkly. It makes me wonder...

Pa'no naging mabait at masigla si Cyrus?

"Anong ginagawa niya rito, Val?" malamig na tanong ng Mommy ni Val habang nakataas ang kilay sa'kin. Their expressions are scary like anytime, I will be killed. I stopped thinking when I thought of the word kill...

"Mama..." Valentine started. He held my hand tighter kaya lumingon ako sa gawi niya. I saw how his jaw clenched.

"She's my girlfriend, Mama."

Parang biglang tumahimik ang paligid pagkasabi noon ni Val. The maids went back to their quarters, giving us privacy. Pa'no kung sabihin ng mga magulang niya na ayaw nila sa'kin para kay Val? No one dared to break the silence until his Mom spoke again.

"Pardon? Siya... ang girlfriend mo?" Tumango si Val kaya napalunok ako sa kaba. She smiled wickedly and laughed vigorously like there's something funny with what Val just said. 

"Yes," malamig na tugon ni Val.

Pumunta ako rito para alamin ang totoo tungkol sa mga magulang ko. At... para na rin makita ko si Vladimir Cyrus ulit...

"Hyacinth." Nagulat ako nang bigla akong tinawag ng Mama ni Val.

Of course, she knew me! Ilang taon din akong nag-stay rito noon. Nagulat siguro siya dahil kaming dalawa ni Val ang magkasama eh ang gusto ko dati ay si Vlad.

"Alam mo naman ang ginawa ng pamilya niyo 'di ba? Alam mo naman 'di ba?! Bakit ka pa ulit..." She paused catching her breath. "Bakit ka pa lumalapit kay Val! Para ano?!" Biglang lumakas ang sigaw ng Nanay niya at tahimik lang na nakikinig ang Daddy niya pero ramdam din ang galit.

"Bakit! Bakit ka pa bumalik dito?! Ha?!"

Nanginginig akong nagpabalik-balik ng tingin kay Val at Mama niya. Anong sinasabi nila?! Wala akong naiintindihan! "Mama, stop—" pinutol siya sa pagsasalita ng Mama niya.

"No! Hindi kita matatanggap sa anak ko! At hindi kahit kailan! Hindi mo alam kung ga'no ka-demonyo ang mga magulang mo! Kaya ganun ka rin!" nanggagalaiting sigaw ng Nanay ni Val kaya napapikit ako. 

Tears started streaming down my cheeks for an unknown reason. Gusto ko nang makaalala! Ano ba ang ginawa nila Mommy para magalit ng ganito ang mga magulang ni Val?!

"Stop—" Para akong binawian ng lakas dahil sa sunod na sinabi ng Mama niya.

"'Don't you dare seduce an engaged man! Ipapakasal na namin siya sa tagapagmana ng mga Ayala!"

Still shocked, my heart beat faster than normal. I think it was about to explode from pain. My sight blurred in tears, my cheeks looked burnt with its redness and I think my lips is going to bleed sooner or later because of the tightness of my bite into it.

"W-what..." I mumbled.

Anong sinasabi niya? Tumitingin ako sa gawi ni Val at nakita ko siyang matalim ang tingin sa Nanay niya. "V-val..." I called him and he glanced at me with sad eyes. Agad kong binitiwan ang kamay niya sa pagtataka.

"W-what do you mean..." I trailed off. Naguguluhan na 'ko! Patuloy pa rin ang pag-agos ng luha sa mga mata ko pati na rin ang pagbalik ng ibang ala-ala.

"Mom! Ano pong ibig niyong sabihing ipapakasal ako kay Cyrus! Ma! Pa! Kailan po ako pumayag doon?!"

After we went home, saka pa lang ako nagsalita kanila Mom and Dad. I don't want to cause a commotion in the De Dios' Mansion gayong parang alam na nila Val at Vlad ang mga mangyayari.

Alam na 'yun ni... Val?

"Hija? I thought you liked Cyrus? Hindi ba sabi mo—"

"Dati lang po 'yun! Bata pa ako no'n at saka 'Ma naman! Bakit naman kayo agad-agad na nag-de-desisyon para sa mapapangasawa ko!" naiinis kong sambit at may namumuo nang luha sa gilid ng mga mata.

"I'm just fifteen—"

"Twenty pa naman kayo magpapakasal—" I stopped my father from spewing more nonsense.

"Kahit na! Saka iba po... Iba ang gusto kong pakasalan..."

My tears started to flow again when I remembered the scenario where I opposed the decision of my parents to be married to Vladimir. Why was fate so cruel na ngayon ay ang gusto ko naman ang ikakasal sa iba?

"Val... T-totoo ba?" I hope he'll deny it. I'm sure he'll deny it. Hindi niya ako kayang lokohin. May tiwala ako sa kanya.

He looked at me on the eye before avoiding my gaze. Another set of fresh tears started to burst nang marinig ko ang sunod niyang sinabi.

"I'm sorry..."

Gusto kong magwala! Gusto kong magmura nang paulit-ulit! Gusto ko siyang sumbatan dahil alam niya pala! Alam niya na ikakasal sila pero pinaasa niya pa rin ako!

Tumingin ulit ako sa gawi ng mga magulang ni Val at nakita kong masama pa rin ang tingin nila sa'kin. I don't belong here... Anong ginawa nila Mommy at bakit sobrang galit na sa'kin ang mga magulang ni Val? Tinigil ba nila ang kasal?

Nasa'n na si Cyrus?

Everything overwhelmed me. Kung gaano ka-puno ng tanong ang utak ko, gano'n din ang puso ko ng sakit. I looked at Val and found his eyes. I touched his jaw before crying again because he hugged me tight.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Ikaw ang mahal ko, Elara... Ikaw lang ang papakasalan ko." I continued crying on his chest.

Kaninang umaga pa 'ko umiiyak dahil sa biglang pagbalik ng alaala ko kasabay na ng pagsabi ni Tita na pamilya raw nila ang pumatay sa magulang ko... Pero bakit dumagdag pa 'to? I'm tired. I just want to... disappear.

For once, I want to rest. With my parents...

"M-mahal din kita..." bulong ko kay Val.

Humiwalay ako sa pagkakayakap. Hindi ko na kaya, Val. Ayoko na. Naguguluhan na 'ko sa lahat ng bagay. I love you but starting today, I'll love myself first. I trusted you too much that I easily forgave you when Dhara called. But you broke that trust.

Turns out... She's your fiancée.

"Mahal kita... p-pero... Itigil muna natin 'to," I last said before standing up and running away from the mansion.

Nakita kong tumayo rin si Val para habulin ako pero ayoko na. Suko na ako, Val. Tumigil ka na. I wiped my tears by the back of my palm habang patuloy na tumatakbo palayo ng mansyon.

"Elara!" Valentine's voice shook my system like a loud thunder. Pero hindi na... Ayoko na... Masyado na akong nagtiwala at nabigo... This Christmas... was the worst...

Patuloy ako sa pagtakbo at hindi ko namalayang may nalalapit na pala na sasakyan. I saw how its lights neared upon me but for some reason, I stopped. In the middle of the road, I stopped. Frozen but not shocked. Still and ready to die.

It seems that my ears were blocked because even though Valentine is continuously shouting at me, I can't hear him. Even the honks of the car were soundless. I smiled bitterly, thinking that maybe this is my end.

I am really supposed to die that night with my parents. Maybe I am spared because of luck but all things has an end. And this... is mine.

I closed my eyes and the last tear from my eyes fell. I smiled when my parents' memory ran through my head. Naisip ko rin ang mga kaibigan ko pati na rin si Tita Elly. I love them... I really do... But I wanted to rest.

I felt the pain from the sudden impact of the car and everything turned black. I mumbled the last words that came into my head before I passed out. Maybe... This is the end.

"I love you, Valentine."

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#ACM32

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