Epilogue

"Valentine, you need to listen to us! Akala ko ba gusto mong maghiganti para sa Kuya mo? Why can't you do a simple job of hurting Hyacinth Villaflor?"

I creased my forehead because of what my Mama just said. Yes, I wanted justice for my brother's death. Pero alam kong hindi 'yun kasalanan ng mga Villaflor. At lalong-lalo nang hindi ni Elara. No one was to be blamed by Kuya Cyrus' death but my parents insisted that it was Elara's fault. They keep bugging me that I should plot... a way to hurt her.

I would never do that.

"No. Hindi ko siya sasaktan, Mama. And don't you even dare to touch her," I said before storming out of our mansion. Narinig ko pa ang sigaw ni Mama pero hindi ko na siya pinansin. My father's cold gaze met mine but I dismissed him.

Alam kong hanggang ngayon ay nasasaktan pa rin sila sa pagkamatay ni Kuya Cyrus. Even though five years had already passed, they are still grieving. And I am not in the place to question their way of coping up with my brother's death but the fact that they wanted to hurt another person to move-on was... sickening.

Agad akong nag-chat sa mga kaibigan ko na uminom kami ngayong gabi. We were actually united because of Lavigne's training center where all of us first met. Nagp-practice noon si Bri ng Taekwondo, si Jovy sa shooting range at ako naman... for archery.

Val: let's drink. Same place.

Bri: ulol

Jovy: ano nangyari Val?

Val: sasabihin ko na lang mamaya.

Bri: 'pag may tuldok na si Val, seryoso na eh

Bri: pero pakyu ka pa rin hahaha

Mac: i'm tired and not in the mood to drink.

Bri: edi don't jk peace tau

Bri: sama ko girlfriend ko ah

Jovy: Bri gusto ko tahiin 'yang bibig mo para di ka na makapagsalita ulit tapos puputulin ko daliri mo para 'di ka na makapag-chat

Bri: sus, crush mo lang ako eh

Val: I'm on my way.

Agad ko nang pinatay ang phone ko at binuhay ang makina ng kotse ko. Buti na lang ay laging naka-mute sa'kin ang GC nila dahil si Jovy at Bri lang naman ang nagpapaingay roon.

I am still bothered at what my parents had said earlier. What if they'll try to hurt Elara in another way and not... through me? Limang taon na rin ang nakalipas mula noong huli ko siyang nakita. We've never contacted each other ever since.

But my feelings didn't fade. Even for one single freaking second.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pag-d-drive hanggang sa narating ko na ang dulo ng daan. We always hang around this cliffside with a bonfire and some drinks jammed with music. Kitang-kita mula rito ang siyudad at nasa Metro Manila pa rin naman kami pero nasa may bandang borders na. The wind was cool that it lightens up the bottling anger inside of me.

Umupo ako sa isang malaking bato. I was drinking alone since my friends were not here yet. Nakatingin lang ako sa kawalan habang nag-iisip nang sandamakmak na kung anu-anong mga bagay. Binuksan ko ang phone ko at nakita kong sinabi nila ay malapit na sila. I continued drinking beer before I opened my Instagram account to check my archived photos.

All of it were pictures of her.

May mga ilan akong naka-post na nakatalikod siya noong mga bata pa lang kami pero madalas ng mga litrato naming magkakasama ay naka-archive sa 'kin. I have a lot of followers. I don't want them to attack Elara.

I smiled before looking at the sky again. Ano kayang mangyayari sa'min kung hindi namatay si Kuya Cyrus? They should've been married by now and me... to Dhara. Alam kong may gusto na sa'kin si Dhara dati pa pero lagi kong sinasabi na may gusto akong iba at hindi niya mapapalitan 'yun. And for some reason, she became Bri's girlfriend. I don't know what's up with them but I decided to not interfere with their issues.

Nang makarating ang mga kaibigan ko ay agad na narinig ko na naman ang mga pang-aasar ni Bri. Mac said that he won't be coming but I guess, Bri pestered him so he had no choice. Parehas naman kami ni Jovy na inom lang nang inom.

"Hoy! Ano na naman ba'ng dahilan nang pagiging sad boy mo pareng kupido? Share mo naman diyan para may ganap din kami." Tumawa si Bri. Mukha siyang gago. Hindi niya pala nasama si Dhara kasi sabi na may pasok pa raw bukas.

"They wanted me to hurt, Elara."

"Elara? The only Villaflor left? And why would you do that?" tanong ni Mac.

"Exactly. Hinding-hindi ko gagawin 'yun."

Nakita kong napainom lang sila ng beer na binigay ko kanina. "O, eh, anong gagawin mo ngayon?" tanong naman ni Jovy. "I honestly... don't know..." Tumingin ako sa mga ilaw sa siyudad.

They wanted me to hurt... no... kill. They wanted me to kill Elara when they were the only murderers in this family. Tumutulong ako sa pagbibigay ng impormasyon sa pamilya ko para makulong na sila. They were... good parents to me and Kuya Cyrus before but everything changed when Kuya died. They became ruthless and heartless. They wanted to kill every person that is involved in the incident. That's how demonic they can be.

I felt a little tipsy with finishing five cans of beer while my friends were now laughing and talking about some shit. Especially Bri. He was singing... an alienated song. I can't understand the lyrics.

"Jeogi neo I fancy you. Amuna wonhaji anha. Hey, I love you!" Inakbayan niya si Mac at ngumuso rito kaya sinapak siya ni Mac sa mukha. Tumawa kaming lahat dahil sa mga kalokohan nila.

Sinapak din ni Bri si Mac at dahil nag-aaral ng martial arts si Bri, mas malakas siya. Mukha silang mga tanga habang nagpapatugtog ng mga babaeng koreano. Uminom lang ako nang uminom hanggang sa naramdaman ko na ang sobrang hilo.

The next thing I knew, I was dialing a number that I got from my parents. That was the first time that I heard her soft voice again... after five years.

[Hello? Sino ba 'to—] I cut her off and giggled a little. I can still imagine her cute face. Maybe I'm really drunk to act like this. This is not me.

"Shh... Kakantahan kita," I only whispered.

Biglang pinatay nila Bri ang tugtog at tumitig sa'kin. "Gago! Sino 'yan?! Val, haha! Nag-drunk call pa nga!" pang-aasar nila Bri kaya pinatahimik ko sila. I coughed then prepared my voice for the song when I unconsciously sang the song that Bri was listening to earlier.

"Fancy! You!" tatawa-tawa kong sagot bago nagdilim ang lahat at narinig ko na lang na minura at pinagtawanan na 'ko nang mga kaibigan ko.

The next days went in a haze. Dhara just informed me that Elara and I were thesis fucking partners. I didn't know how to react. I'm too happy. Masakit ang ulo ko dahil sa hangover noong araw na iyon kaya hindi ako nakapasok.

I was about to text her first but It might be creepy that I knew her number. Hindi niya 'ko naaalala. Wala siyang naaalalang Valentine sa buhay niya. It's like we met again for the first time but as... thesis partners.

Nagkabanggaan kami sa hallway ng Engineering Building at mukhang nagmamadali siya. It was my first time seeing her again up close. Lagi ko siyang nakakasalubong dati pero hindi niya 'ko pinapansin. It's because she really can't remember me. Like I'm a ghost from the past.

We agreed to meet up in UP Town Center and it was... my first time seeing her having an anxiety and panic attack. My heart ached at witnessing her misery. Nakita ko kung paano siya natakot dahil nasa closed space kami kung saan siya... kinulong noon ng mga magulang niya para maligtas siya. I hugged her and told her that it will soon be fine and that I will protect her at all costs.

Gagawin ko ang lahat para mawala na sa memorya niya ang mapapait na dinanas niya.

Ever since then, we became inseparable. Alam kong ang tingin niya lang sa'kin ay thesis partner niya and nothing more but... she didn't know that I love her. Ever since we were kids. Sadyang tadhana lang ang kalaban namin at masyado pa kaming bata noong mga panahong 'yun kaya hindi kami pwede sa isa't-isa.

"Did we kiss?" diretso niyang tanong sa'kin. I was stunned at her sudden question that I just find myself smirking at her. We really... didn't kiss that time under the roof in the cemetery. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya nasabi 'yun. Is she fantasizing... about my kisses?

Don't worry, baby. You'll get more of those soon.

"Elara... should I kiss you?" I teased her.

Nakita kong namula ang mga pisngi niya kaya napangiti ako. She really looked cute every time she blushes. Kasama pa ang cute niya na pagyuko na parang nahihiya sa'kin.

Dumiretso kami sa restaurant ng kaibigan niyang si Sangre at inasar na naman nila kami. Hindi ko alam pero... natutuwa ako sa pang-aasar nila. Pinipigilan ko lang ang ngumiti kasi baka awayin ako ni Elara.

Pero bigla akong tinawag ni Mama na kailangan kong bumalik sa bahay. I am currently living on a condo just around Diliman. I may look rude but I hated my parent's presence. Hangga't hindi sila nagbabago ay naaasiwa ako sa ugali nila.

They are... murderers.

Pagpunta ko sa bahay, nagulat ako nang nandoon din si Bri na naka-black na jacket at black na pantalon. He looked like he did something... odd. I quickly walked towards him and he looked shocked at my presence.

"O-oy! Tol! Bakit ka nandito?" His eyes were wandering everywhere so I stared to scan him. Hindi ba dapat ako ang nagtatanong no'n? Bakit siya nandito?

I was about to say something when I heard my Mom's voice.

"Bri, have you sent the text the Hyacinth? Natakot mo b—" Napahinto siya sa pagsasalita nang makita niya ko. I gritted my teeth in anger. What? Anong ginagawa nila kay Elara?

"What is it, Mom?" I coldly asked. Napatikom ang bibig niya at tumingin kay Bri na parang nanghihingi ng tulong. I looked at Bri who was just looking at the ground. Fuck!

Agad akong lumapit kay Bri at kwinelyuhan siya. Parang sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa pagpipigil ng inis. I am really mad at him right now that I can punch him on the face. "Val! Stop it!" sigaw ni Mama pero hindi ko siya pinansin.

"Anong ginawa mo... kay Elara?" matigas kong tanong. Hindi siya makatingin sa mga mata ko. Halos magkasingtangkad lang kami ni Bri pero nakatagilid ang ulo niya kaya agad-agad na lumapat ang kamao ko sa pisngi niya.

"Val!" Mama horrifyingly screeched. I ruffled my hair in frustration and took deep breaths. Alam kong matagal nang may galit pa rin sila Mama at Papa sa mga Villaflor pero hindi ba nila maintindihan na wala silang kinalaman sa nangyari?! At... anong pinagawa nila kay Bri?! Fucking hell.

"Bri! Anong ginawa mo kay Elara?!" Inangat ko siya mula sa pagkakaupo. Sa totoo lang ay mas malakas sa'kin si Bri dahil athlete siya pero hindi niya 'ko nilalabanan dahil siguro... alam niya na siya may kasalanan.

"Ginagawa ko lang ang inuutos ng Mommy mo," malamig niyang pagkakasabi kaya tumingin ako kay Mama na parang maiiyak na. I inhaled a deep breath before speaking again.

"Bakit niyo... bakit niyo tinatakot si Elara? Why are you fucking obeying my mother's fucking orders?!" sigaw ko at tumingin siya sa'kin na parang galit na rin.

"Dahil kay Dhara, putang ina! Hindi lang ikaw may pinoprotektahan dito, Val! Mahal ko si Dhara kaya ayos lang na magkanda-letse-letse ang lahat basta maprotektahan ko siya!" Tinanggal ni Bri ang pagkakakwelyo ko sa kanya bago galit na umalis sa mansyon. I stood dumbfoundedly on our living room with my fist crumpled to contain my anger.

Dahan-dahan akong tumingin sa gawi ni Mommy nang may galit. "Bakit nasali si Dhara rito?" Pinipilit kong maging mahinahon pero hindi ko 'ata kakayanin.

"You were bound to marry her, Val! Nalaman ni Bri 'yun kaya nagalit siya kasi akala niya gusto talaga siya ni Dhara pero ginagamit lang pala para mapalapit sa'yo. We said... to Bri that if he... scare Hyacinth Villaflor—" Hindi ko na napatapos pa ang sasabihin ni Mama dahil binato ko na ang vase na medyo malapit sa direksyon niya kaya napatili siya.

"What's happening?!" narinig kong malakas na sigaw ni Papa at nang makita niyang umiiyak si Mama ay nilapitan niya agad.

"We said to Bri that if he... if he scares Hyacinth, we'll break your engagement with Dhara. He was... desperate that time but he declined... Alam niyang magagalit ang mga Ayala kay Dhara sa oras na malaman na na-call off ang engagement kaya sinunod niya na lang kami... basta't hindi masasaktan si Dhara."

Agad kong napahilamos ang palad ko sa mukha ko dahil sa inis at galit. Ang dami nang nadadamay. I don't know why my parents even agreed to my marriage with Dhara when I didn't like her in the first place! And now... everything's a mess. Parang unti-unti na rin nilang sinisira ang pagkakaibigan namin ni Bri.

That night, I got drunk. I am supposed to meet-up with Elara the next day but my mind was too clouded with emotions and I don't want her to notice that. But unfortunately, we met at a bar where she went to fetch me. I even saw Dhara slapping her and I almost got angry at Dhara but I was too drunk to even move a limb.

"Five minutes. Just five minutes, Elara. Let me be with you," I whispered before hugging her tight. I then asked her if she could do anything for her family and she answered... yes. But me?

I can't do anything that's against my principles. I am not a robot that they can quickly program to be like them, murderers. I have feelings of my own and even if they told me that it was my mission and will to wipe out the Villaflors, I won't do it because... I love Elara. O kahit hindi pa. Hindi ko makakayanang manakit ng taong walang kasalanan.

Days went by fast and whenever I see Elara, I wanted to protect her from harm that can be brought by my parents. Bihira na lang din kami magkausap ni Bri noong mga panahong iyon at hindi ko na nakikita sa klase si Dhara. Umiiwas na sila pareho sa gulo.

Akala ko ay noong nagwala ako sa bahay namin ay matitigil na ang lahat pero gano'n na lang ang gulat ko nang mabalitaan ko na nasa bingit na nang kamatayan ang Tito ni Hyacinth. It turned out that my parents schemed that evil plot so the evidences will not be recovered.

"Hindi ka ba nagsasawang pakisamahan ako? I mean... I have trauma, trust issues, family issues, lahat na. Isama mo pa na... a-ayaw ko talaga sa pangalan mo. Pa'no mo 'ko nagawang... magustuhan?"

I stared at her teary eyes as I was comforting her earlier because of the incident about her Uncle. Imbis na manisi siya nang ibang tao, laging ang sarili niya ang sinisisi niya sa lahat ng 'to. Iniisip niya na kasalanan niya talaga at hindi niya deserve ang maging masaya.

No, baby. You are worth it. And you deserve every good thing in this world.

I assured her that I really liked her but I can't tell her yet, that I'm the Valentine of the past. I might damage her memory recovery if I do that. If ever that she'll love me too, I hope she'll love me not as a De Dios, but as Valentine.

Her living cupid.

Pero hindi mo masasabi ang tadhana at sabi nga nila, walang sikreto na hindi mabubunyag. Pinaalam ni Mama na ipapakasal ako kay Dhara kaya tumakbo palabas si Elara. And that's my most... regretted part of my life.

If I had only been faster enough to catch her and save her from harm, hindi sana siya ma-c-comatose at makakaranas na naman ng sakit. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin nang makita ko ang walang malay at duguang katawan nang babaeng mahal ko sa harapan ko.

"E-elara..." I stuttered while kneeling down and held onto her fragile body. Maraming umaagos na dugo sa ulo niya kaya agad-agad ko siya binuhat habang sumisigaw ng tulong sa kung sino man. I brought her to the hospital and called her guardians.

"Umalis ka na, Val! If something bad happens to Hyacinth, I will not forgive you! Hindi mo na siya pwedeng makita!" banta sa'kin nang Tita niya at patuloy lang na ako na nakayuko. Tears were not flowing out from my eyes but I was pained by what she said.

Kasalanan ko...

Nang maging stable na ang kalagayan niya ay hindi ko magawang maiyak dahil lagi lang akong nagpapakalasing. Sinasamahan ako nang mga kaibigan ko na sina Mac at Jovy. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin nakikita si Bri at Dhara.

"Val... Hindi ikaw ang may kasalanan. Sila Tita at Tito ang may kasalanan, okay? 'Wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo!" I just laughed sarcastically at what Jovy said. Hindi ko... kasalanan? Fuck! Anong hindi ko kasalanan?!

Kasalanan ko kasi nabuhay pa 'kong isang De Dios na anak ng mga mamamatay-tao!

---

Napabuntong-hininga ako habang iniisip ang lahat nang napagdaanan namin ni Elara. Sobrang dami na naming nalagpasang problema kaya alam ko na hindi na namin papakawalan ang isa'-isa sa susunod. Ako mismo ang nagpakulong sa mga magulang ko para wala nang mananakit pa kay Elara noong bumalik na siya nang Pinas.

I looked at my girlfriend... no... wife. I looked at my wife in the eyes while we were dancing to a song on her birthday. This is the same day that her parents got killed and the same day that I was named after. Everything feels so ironic but I am still happy that we got to have our own happy ending.

Hindi pa kami talagang nagpapakasal pero alam kong malapit na. Pwede na ngang bukas eh. Lalo na't ngayo'y madadagdagan pa kami ng isang miyembro.

"What should we call her?" I asked Elara when we sat on the couch because she's now tired. Nakasiksik lang siya sa'kin habang nakapatong ang mga hita sa hita ko at nakayakap sa'kin. She was sniffing my clothes while hugging me so I just laughed at her.

"If it's a girl... siguro kasing ganda mo rin 'yun, 'no?" Napaalis siya sa pagkakayakap dahil sa sinabi ko at tiningnan ako na parang nakakasuka ang sinabi ko kaya napatawa ako sa kanya.

"Ang corny mo!" Tumawa siya kaya niyakap ko siya ulit.

"Kung lalaki 'to, Val... Baka maging kasing seloso mo." Tumawa pa siya kaya pinitik ko na lang siya sa noo nang mahina.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at nakita ang singsing namin pareho. Kaninang umaga habang tulog siya ay pinuntahan ko sa kulungan sila Mama. I don't want Elara to be stressed by my family's presence so I didn't disturb her sleep.

"V-val..." mahinang bulong ni Mama at nangiyak-ngiyak nang makita niya 'ko. Nakita ko ring nakayuko lang din si Papa.

"I'm getting... married. With Elara. And... we'll be having a child soon," sabi ko at kita ko ang gulat sa mga mata nang magulang ko bago sila parang maiiyak.

"Val... I'm... s-sorry..." sabi ni Papa. Bihira lang siya magsalita at namana ko 'ata sa kanya ang pagiging tahimik. It was also the first time that I heard him said sorry.

"I'm sorry for all that we've done to you. And your... brother. Patawarin mo sana kami... a-anak..." Nakita ko na ang pagpatak ng luha mula sa mga mata ni Papa. I only saw him cry when we got the news that my Kuya was dead. Since then, his eyes were vengeful and full of hatred. But now, it seemed to be full of regrets and apologies.

Hindi na 'ko sumagot at hindi na rin sila nagsalita. Matagal ko na silang pinatawad. Kagaya nga nang sinabi ni Elara na kailangan mong magpatawad, hindi para sa kapakanan nila, pero para maging masaya ka. To free yourself from misery.

---

Tiningnan ko ulit ang magkahawak naming kamay namin ni Elara.

"Thank you..." I whispered to her. "Thank you for accepting me again and loving me... even with all my flaws, Elara. Even with all the difficulties. Thank you for being strong for the both of us."

I kissed her hair and she hugged me tighter. "I love you. Forever and always." I leaned towards her to cup her face for a soft kiss. Mas hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa kamay niya. Nang humiwalay sa halik ay nakita kong ngumiti siya sa'kin.

Your smile is the most beautiful to me, Elara. You're my mission. You're my only purpose. My mission was not to hurt you but to make you feel that you are not alone in this world and you are not accountable to other people's mistake.

You are this cupid's mission.

- THE END -