May 7, 2015

I sometimes say it's fine and sometimes lie when I do that because I want others to be happy; because for me, even when I'm not happy or I'm sad or I'm hurt, I still want people to be happy and I still want the best for others.

And I know that isn't right and fair of me to to the ones I care and who are still by my side even after what I've put them through because that isn't true love.

Love is true, and I want to apologize, I want to say sorry for all the times I've lied to you and the people I care for and somehow care for me. For all the times, I've put on a fake smile and laughed just so you and no-one else could guess that I wasn't alright at that time, and so you and everyone else was happy.

For all what I've put you through. For trying to be happy, so you and everyone else could be happy; but I couldn't be happy because I was too sad, too tired, too hurt, too afraid.

For all the times I've hurt you and failed you too, and to the people I've hurt and failed too. For all the mistakes I've made.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

But I want you to know that when you and others tell me that you're sorry and that they're sorry because you and they have failed me, hurt me - I mean it.

I mean it when I say it's fine, and I say it's fine because I forgive you and I forgive the people who've hurt me and failed me and disappointed me and broken me so badly because I love you and I love people.

We make mistakes, and we know that and should be able to admit that, but we shouldn't keep record of being wronged.

I'm not going to a record being wronged by you or anyone else because that is love. Love doesn't keep a record of being wronged.

Know that I'll always love you and everyone else, and be able to forgive if anyone should wrong me.

I always will.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demands its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Love always sees and looks for the best, never looking back, but going on until the end.

I still see the best in you and everyone else, even if you and other people have wronged me - I still see the best in you and everyone.

I always will.