"But in the end it's only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass." ― J.R.R. Tolkien

Caput LXII: Bury it Forward

It was surprisingly easy to find the others. They weren't exactly subtle with hiding, which was something Percy was grateful for.

~...~

Sharpening a sword was surprisingly calming. Something about the repetitive motions soothed her, made her feel like she was in control, even though she knew that she wasn't in control. Not really. And that was okay, she supposed. It was okay. She just... she just didn't like not being in control.

The rock she had been using to sharpen his sword screeched loudly enough that it grated at her teeth and she cringed.

There was something watching her. She stilled. The hairs on the back of her neck had risen and there was a prickling sensation - a sixth sense in a way. She slowly raised her head and turned her head.

She would recognize those green eyes anyway.

Her sword clattered to the ground (something very stupid) and she gaped. Percy grinned, though it looked a little nervous to her, and he wriggled his fingers at her.

"Um. Hi?"

Hi? HI? Is that all he has to say after -

She found herself on her feet, propelling forward. He backpedaled, and she could see the look of blatant fear on his face. Good. Good. He should fear her. When he bumped against a tree, she boxed him in by placing her hands on his hips and tilted her head back so she could glare up at him.

"A letter, Perseus! You left a letter! And then you say not to worry! Like what in Tartarus were you thinking I wouldn't worry? Do you have any idea how scared I was? And you're not subtle at all! Seriously! You stormed Nyx's fortress on your own? What in Tartarus were you thinking? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was!"

She took a deep breath and poked him directly in the middle of his chest. Relief and fury clashed and she focused on fury because that was easier to handle for the moment.

"And everyone thought you were gathering intelligence when you had - when you had - g" She growled under her breath and swiped at her eyes. No. She was not going to cry over his stupidity. "You could have just said something. But nooo, you had to run away. You abandoned us-"

Percy's arms suddenly wrapped around her and pulled her against her chest. She gripped the front of his toga and choked back a sob.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I won't run away again."

Her shoulders trembled. "I'm angry with you," she grumbled. But her shoulders shook with her suppressed tears until she allowed to spill. "If you do that again, I'm going to kill you."

Something between a laugh and a sob tore from his throat, and it sounded raw and harsh to her eyes. She clung to him. "Noted."

"Why does this keep happening to us?" she wondered out loud. She moved away from him so that she was able to think a little more clearly. He watched her, hesitance etched in every part of him. "Why is it you're constantly being torn away from me and all I can do is watch?"

He shook his head minutely. "I don't know," he said softly. "At least we keep finding each other."

She found herself looking at the brown ground. Except at some point, she wouldn't be here. At some point, she would be gone. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do about that except to live. He moved forward and tilted her chin up with his pointer and middle fingers. He tilted his head to the side.

"What is it?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing," she said eventually. "I'm just glad you're not dead."

Something like a half smile made its way on his face. "I'm glad you're not dead too."

She narrowed her eyes at him. He took half a step back, but she grabbed onto his shoulder and yanked him down. She rose onto her toes and pressed her lips against his. Her eyelids slipped shut and she felt his tears mingle with hers.

He pulled away slightly, pressing his forehead against hers. She chased and stole kiss after kiss after kiss. He chuckled when she actually hit the ticklish underneath his jaw. She tugged at his toga, and his hands suddenly captured hers. He shook his head slightly.

"I - not now, please?" he asked. "I still..."

She understood and stretched so that she could kiss his forehead. "Okay." 

~...~

For a moment, Reyna just stared at Percy. He wriggled his fingers, wondering if his friend was going to hug or kill him. Annabeth quickly hid a laugh behind a cough and he glared at her. She smiled up at him. 

She marched over. Percy stood his ground.

And then she hugged him. Relaxing, because he was out of danger - for now at least -, he hugged her back.

"I'm going to kill you after all of this is over and I'm not relieved you didn't do something stupid enough to get yourself killed," she said sweetly. This time he couldn't help but laugh as he pulled away from his old friend. Well, that told him he wasn't all clear yet - if there was one thing she was good at, it was keeping her promises.

"Are you all right?" he asked. It was long overdue; he should have been asking that every day until she affirmed she was.

She shrugged. "I'm managing. You?"

He shrugged too, because it was better than saying that some days he still felt like he was being torn into two opposite directions. "Getting better."

She smiled slightly, and he relaxed.

Someone - a man - came over. "Lady Annabeth?" he said, and with a start, Percy recognized Frank's voice. "There are more refugees seek..." he trailed off and his eyes went wide as he looked at Percy. "Lord Perseus! You're back!" He stammered something, and Percy felt a weight lift off his shoulders he hadn't even realized had been there. Something warmed inside of him, and a smile played at his lips.

He hadn't realized how much he had missed being among his people. Hadn't realized how tense he had been, not leading them. They were all right. Jason, Astoria, Bianca - even Rachel. I can't not be a leader. This is my purpose. The smile playing at his lips spread into a full fledged grin. So many years of wondering, wishing he could be something else, and yet it came back 'round to this. But that was irony at her finest.

"That's a little scary," Frank muttered to Reyna. To his surprise, Reyna laughed, and there was a certain fondness in her expression that he knew was reserved for him.

"He's just happy. Don't worry, he'll be back to brooding sooner or later."

"I don't -" He automatically began to protest, before he checked himself. "Okay, so I do brood. Is it that strange seeing me smiling?"

Everyone nodded immediately. Percy looked at Annabeth pleadingly, who burst out laughing. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but his mood was too good to be spoiled.

They walked back toward the encampment. Percy stayed quiet while he listened to the chatter around him; a lot of it was happy, but occasionally there would be something mentioned that would trigger worry. It was funny how they all seemed to gravitate around Annabeth - even more so than him, and how gracefully she handled it. It was like she had been leading these people her entire life.

A born queen, he couldn't help but think. She looked up at him with a curious expression.

"What?" she asked, head tilted ever so slightly. "You've been staring at me for a while now. Is there something on my face?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not that. I was just ... reflecting."

She began to say something, but he stopped short when he saw the camp. He'd been expecting maybe a dozen or two men and women. Not ... several hundred. It was...

"Well, word kind of spread?" Frank said quickly, like he was afraid Percy had been offended by the size. His eyes burned.

"And you've been talking to soldiers," Annabeth added. "Attacking Nox's fortress was not subtle at all. And some of the inhabitants escaped from the city like Hazel and Frank did."

"Of course, that means more monsters, but - wait, are you crying? Why are you crying?" Reyna sounded alarmed. He laughed as he rubbed his thumb underneath his eyes. Frank looked worried. Annabeth's eyes were wide.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized quickly. "I just - I wasn't expecting so many. I thought the whole city had been either wiped out or just... captured. It's a little overwhelming."