Estelle managed to hide the shuddering of her breath as they arrived at the cabin. Mikael glanced around warily, not removing his arms from her. She lifted her face to the sky, staring at the few visible stars.

    They shed soft light through the clouds, illuminating the falling snowflakes. Estelle sucked in long draughts of the crisp, fresh air, letting it calm her down. A cold breeze blew and Estelle shivered, despite the heat radiating from Mikael.

    "Let's go inside, Batsy," Mikael murmured. "You're cold."

    She nodded and he ushered her to the front door. As soon as they stepped inside, a fire crackled to life on the hearth. Candles and faelights lit up. The floor warmed beneath their feet. Mikael let go of her as he examined their surroundings.

    Estelle headed down the short hallway and entered one of the bedrooms. She closed the door and locked it. "I need clothes," she whispered. "Something warm, and not a dress."

    At once, a pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt appeared on the bed. Estelle stripped her dress off and pulled the other clothes on with a sigh of relief. She scrubbed at her face in frustration.

    I should've stayed. That party was for Mikael and I. Why couldn't I just get myself under control? It's a stupid dress. Why did I let myself get worked up over it? Estelle scolded herself.

    "Batsy, you all right?" Mikael called.

    She opened the door and found him waiting just outside. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

    Mikael cupped her face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. "You don't need to apologize. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

    Estelle shook her head. "I don't think so. I feel better now that I'm out of that dress."

    "Why did you wear one if it makes you uncomfortable?"

    "Celeste, Sienna, and the shadows wanted me to." Estelle looked back at the gown. "It's beautiful. I wish I could stomach wearing it."

    "Why can't you?"

    She hesitated, then shook her head again. "It doesn't matter." Estelle knit her brows, finally taking in his own outfit. "Emerie finished your leathers. That's why the shadows wanted me to match you."

    She backed up, letting herself examine him fully. The new leathers were reminiscent of his old ones, sculpted to his body and flaunting the hard muscles beneath. The panels of leather were dyed white and accented with gold. All of the buckles were gold as well.

    Estelle pursed her lips, her eyes wandering towards his face. The white leather complimented his sunkissed complexion. Mikael's eyes were dark with concern. Umbra hugged his arm tightly, now visible about his sleeve.

    "If I were to paint you, I would paint you in those, Feathers," Estelle said. "You look every bit the angel prince that you are."

    Mikael smiled. "I'll let you do that sometime. But, Estelle," he took her hands in his own and they sat on the bed. "There is something bothering you. Pushing it aside won't help you get past it." Estelle averted her gaze. Mikael tipped her chin up. "Don't walk away from me, Batsy. Tell me what's going on. You can trust me."

    "I don't want to talk about it."

    "But you need to." Estelle looked away again. "Does it have something to do with Ze'ev and the five males you killed? The scars on your wings? Why you don't wear dresses? Why you rarely sing?" She stiffened, meeting his gaze. "Tell me what's going on. Please."

    She closed her eyes with a sigh. "All right. It's your birthday. I suppose I have to." She pulled her hands away from his as she began.

    "Yes, it has something to do with Ze'ev and the five males I killed. Four of those males were his older brothers and the fifth one was his father. They had a long standing rivalry with my dad." Estelle crossed her arms, drawing in a slow breath.

    "One night, I was singing at Rita's. I usually wore dresses or more formal clothing while performing. I still had my weapons stashed close by, but not on my person while singing. After I finished performing, I went to have a drink and relax for a little while." Estelle closed her eyes. "I don't know when they drugged my drink. I thought I had it with me the entire time, but I was wrong. I blacked out and the next thing I knew, I was in some dark chamber, chained to a wall."

    "They had drugged me with faebane and the chains were laced with it as well. I didn't know where I was or why I had been taken. The room was so dark that I could hardly see anything. All six of them came after some time, carrying torches. I realized that I was in a torture chamber. I thought they meant to torture me."

    Estelle could feel Mikael's growing anger and concern. It flooded her chest, becoming stronger by the minute. He didn't reach for her, even as the shadows wrapped around her.

    "It wasn't me they were after," Estelle continued. "They set a trap for my father. I was the bait. As soon as he arrived, Ze'ev was on top of me. He had a blade at my throat and..." She broke off for a moment. "Dad could have killed them all, but not before Ze'ev slit my throat. They told him to surrender and they'd let me go unharmed."

    "He obeyed, but they didn't let me go. They drugged Dad and chained him down too. They let Ze'ev have his way with me and made my father watch. I tried not to cry. I tried not to show how scared I was, how bad it hurt, but..."

    Mikael's hands curled into fists. He still said nothing. "When that was over, they began to torture my father. They refused to let me go, or even take me out of the room. Dad wouldn't cry out while I was there and that made them even angrier. They did...unspeakable things to him. He let them, because if he didn't, they would kill me."

    "I hung from my chains, growing angrier with each mark they left on him. Then, they brought in more faebane chains." Estelle extended her wings, letting Mikael see the scars that criss crossed her central tendons. "They tried to clip my wings using the chains. That was when I snapped."

    "I managed to pull my chains out of the walls. I reclaimed my weapons and killed one son with Znaniya, and the other with Aesira. The shadows speared through the heart of another and I managed to summon my magic, despite the faebane in my system. A stray burst of it killed the fourth son. Ze'ev's father..." Estelle fell silent for several minutes. The shadows whispered encouraging words in her ears.

    "I ripped him apart with my bare hands. I clawed his skin off, tore his eyes out, and severed his tongue. I began digging at his chest with my nails, trying to reach his heart. I wouldn't have stopped if Dad didn't call out to me. Ze'ev had already escaped by the time I freed Dad. I knew he needed help at once and we had to get out of there, so I left Ze'ev alone."

    Estelle clasped her hands together, looking at her lap. "I haven't worn a dress since. I hardly sing either. I've never gone anywhere without Aesira and Znaniya, except for tonight." She waited for Mikael to speak, increasingly aware of the emotions and instincts that drifted from him.

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    "Did you ever tell anyone the full story?" Mikael asked finally.

    "We told our Inner Circle, but no one else. There was nothing to be done. I had killed everyone but Ze'ev."

    "Why wasn't he arrested and dealt with?"

    "He was under the protection of one of the Illyrian Princes. Rhys risked war with the Illyrians if we went after Ze'ev. We risked war anyway, given what I had done. My father has spent every day since plotting for how he's going to repay Ze'ev when he finally gets the chance."

    Mikael swallowed, trying to process everything she had told him. "He raped you?"

    "Yes, and he still wants more."

    "But when he tried to again, you recovered faster than I would have imagined."

    Estelle didn't look at him. "It took me years to process what had happened. After I finally came to grips with it, I told my family that I didn't want to speak about it again unless necessary. That's why no one brings it up, and why I was able to recover so quickly that time."

    "I wish I had killed him that night," Mikael growled. "I wished that before, but now I really wish I had."

    A lump formed in his throat as he reached out to her. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek, his gaze flickering towards her wings. He'd asked why her wings weren't clipped...and someone had tried to do just that...using chains.

    "You don't need to apologize," Estelle murmured. "I know you didn't mean it." He didn't question how she knew what he was thinking.

    Mikael pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. "And you panicked tonight because you put a dress on for the first time since that happened?" Estelle nodded. Mikael rubbed her back in soothing circles. "Never do that again. Not until you feel ready. And...thank you for telling me all of this."

    "You're welcome." Estelle lifted her head with a smile. "You really thought I was beautiful?"

    "I did. I do. You are beautiful, Estelle. You are magnificent." He brushed a kiss across her lips. "Every inch of you. Scars and all."

    "Even my nightmarish wings?"

    "I adore your wings. If they are made from nightmares, then I would gladly suffer through one every night just for a glimpse of them. I would pluck my own feathers out for a chance to touch your wings. To kiss them. To know them like I know my own."

    Estelle searched his gaze, her amber eyes glowing with warmth. "I have never let anyone touch my wings except to heal them. I have never trusted anyone that much." She inched closer to him. "But...I trust you. If you wish to touch my wings, you may."

    "Are you sure? Illyrian wings are sensitive and you've had a trying night. I don't want to wind up with a black eye."

    "I'm sure. I could use a distraction anyway. I promise I won't hit you." She stood and spread her wings. Mikael stared at the folds of black membrane. His heart raced as he rose as well.

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For a bonus scene depicting the story Estelle shares above, please see the story titled "The Past They Pretended to Forget", in my book "Beyond the Books". (Warning: graphic.) Additional stories involving this scene are titled "Unworthy of Feeling" and "Little Comforts".