Mikael led Estelle through the Palace, pointing out room after room, and recounting the memories he had in each one. She was unusually quiet today and he couldn't help but wonder if it was because of what had been going on between him and Nyx.

The male had sought him out the night before and apologized for his behavior. Mikael did as well, but things were still tense. Lysander mentioned that Estelle spoke with Nyx about what had happened, but she had yet to say anything about that conversation to him. Mikael didn't know if she would or not, and he didn't ask. He trusted that she would tell him when she was ready.

He pushed the library doors open and Estelle followed him inside. Her gaze swept the vast chamber, taking in the numerous shelves, glowing fireplaces, and cushioned chairs. "This is larger than the library in Feyre and Rhys' estate," she said. "Have you read all of these books?"

Estelle drifted towards a shelf and pulled one down. She flipped through the pages carefully. "Not all of them," Mikael replied. "Some are in different languages. I've never been good at interpreting things."

Estelle glanced up with a smile. "You're a scholar who can't learn another language?"

"We all have our shortcomings, Batsy." He moved over to another sitting area. "This is my favorite spot. The window has a wonderful view of the valleys on clear days. The chairs are broken in so they're very comfortable. This also happens to be the warmest area in the library."

Estelle dropped down onto a chaise lounge and let her wings fall slack on either side of it. "It's cold out today."

"It's only going to get colder. The mountains always grow cold faster than the rest of the Court."

"That's how it is at home too." She closed her eyes and draped an arm over them.

"Are you all right?" Mikael asked.

"Yes, I just haven't been feeling well today."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't think so." Estelle lowered her arm. "Show me some of your favorite books. Are they all informative or do you read fun stuff too?"

Mikael grinned and flew to one of the higher shelves. He tugged several books out of their slots and carried them down to Estelle. "Most of them are informative, but there are some novels."

Estelle propped herself up on her elbow as he placed one book in front of her. "I like to read about magic, but Father doesn't let me practice many of the spells I find until he's tested them himself. He occasionally asks for my help when trying out a spell though."

Estelle leafed through the book, taking in the instructions and depictions of several spells. "These look like things Amren would be interested in." She pushed the book aside and he handed her another one. "A book on the former High Lords of the Dawn Court?"

Mikael nodded. "I like to research past rulers. I study the decisions they made, why they made them, and what other courses of action they could've taken. I examine the outcomes of their choices and the effects it had on the Court."

"Is there a specific reason why?" She asked.

Mikael sighed and turned away, tucking his wings close to his back. He leaned against the chaise and grabbed another book. Mikael thumbed through it absentmindedly as he replied. "I'm worried I won't be a good High Lord. I'm afraid that I'll make stupid choices that will make my people despise me even more. I don't want my father to worry about the future of the Court. I want him to trust that I can take care of our people."

"I just..." He combed his fingers through his hair. "My parents weren't married when I was conceived and they never married after I was born. I'm a halfbreed and a bastard. There's never been a High Lord like me in the history of the Dawn Court. The people are wary of accepting me because of that."

"Mikael," she tipped his head back so that his gaze met hers. "The circumstances of your birth have nothing to do with whether or not you'll be a good High Lord. Your people will see that too someday."

"I'm beginning to think they never will."

Estelle's eyes softened and she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "They will. You are loyal, smart, strong, compassionate, and powerful. You will serve your people well. You will look after them, just as your father has. You will be just as great a High Lord as he is. Maybe even better. Your people are lucky to have you."

"They'll still see me as a halfbreed bastard, not someone worthy of being their High Lord."

Estelle shook her head. "Look at Rhys. They say he's the most powerful High Lord in history and he's a halfbreed. My father and Uncle Cassian are bastards, and yet they're two of the most powerful Illyrian warriors there have ever been. Lucien is a bastard, but he will still rule the Day Court someday. Lysander, Nyx, Corbin, and I are all halfbreeds, but that doesn't make us any less than others."

Mikael held her warm amber gaze, breathing in her comforting scent as she continued. "You will be a good High Lord, Mikael. You have centuries to prove yourself to your people, even though you don't need to. Someday, they'll see you for who you are."

He smiled with barely a nod. Estelle's nose bumped his chin as she leaned down and kissed him. He would never grow tired of that feeling, her lips on his. Mikael twisted and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her off the chaise and onto his lap. Estelle laughed, shifting her wings into a more comfortable position. He lifted his own and wrapped the feathery folds around them.

Estelle moved her arm around his neck. The shadows followed her movement, jumping onto Mikael and wrapping around his arms. Umbra drifted up to his cheek and hovered there, brushing against him in a repetitive pattern, as though warning the other shadows away.

"Is Umbra saying anything?" Mikael asked.

"It says that it claimed you first," Estelle giggled.

Mikael traced his fingers over Umbra and the shadow wove around one. "Jealous little thing."

"So, what other books do you read? You mentioned novels." Estelle winked at him with a sly grin. "Anything I might be interested in?"

"You mean smutty?" Mikael pretended to think. "You might be out of luck, Batsy. I don't think I've ever read anything of that kind."

"Then how do you know what it is?"

He began to reply, then paused. A moment later, he gave a rough laugh. "All right. You've caught me. I have read smut."

"What books and were they good?"

Mikael smirked. "I recently read that one you and Celeste were going on about. Lonely Sings the Nightingale." Estelle's cheeks flushed red. "You can learn a lot about a female by the type of books she reads."

"And what did you learn about me?" Estelle murmured.

He lowered his mouth towards her ear. "I'll reveal that knowledge in good time. Right now, I'll keep my wicked plans for you to myself." Estelle's breath hitched and Mikael flashed her a rather self satisfied grin.

◦═══✦═══◦

Within the next two days, Estelle had realized why she was feeling so poorly. Her cycle was beginning. She'd heard Feyre, Nesta, and Elain complain many times about how their cycles came monthly when they were still Human, but how they were far less painful than those the Fae experienced. Even though her cycle only came twice a year, Estelle almost thought she'd rather go through one each month if it would reduce the pain she experienced.

She lay in bed with her knees curled up to her chest. The shadows drifted across her forehead and cheeks, whispering soothing words. She just batted them away. Estelle groaned, hearing Celeste and Sienna bustling around as they prepared for training.

Training was the last thing she wanted to do right now. The air outside would be cold and that would only worsen the cruel pain spiking through her lower abdomen. Someone knocked on her door. "Estelle, are you up? We need to get going soon," Celeste called.

"Give me a few minutes. I overslept," Estelle replied, managing to keep her voice steady.

She rolled out of bed and tugged her Illyrian leathers on. At least I remembered to put them in front of the fireplace overnight so they were warm when I woke, she thought. That was a trick her father had shown her during her first winter in Windhaven.

She buckled her sword belt across her chest, letting Aesira, safe in its sheath, fall in between her wings. Estelle buckled Znaniya's sheath to her thigh before pulling her boots on. I should probably eat something, she thought. She shoved the idea aside at once. The mere thought of food sent her stomach churning.

Estelle attempted to wipe the pained expression off her face and joined Celeste and Sienna near the front door. They left, hurrying towards the training rings. By the time they arrived, Peregryns and Illyrians had already paired off and were sparring.

"Are you all right?" Sienna whispered, leaning closer to Estelle.

"I'll be fine. It's just my cycle."

Sienna gave her a sympathetic look and Celeste returned it. Estelle crossed her arms tightly over her stomach. They neared the rings Mikael, Calden, Lysander, Nyx, and Corbin were training in. Nyx and Calden were paired up together. Celeste hurried to join Lysander, and Sienna and Corbin wandered off to another ring.

Estelle joined Mikael just as he finished wrapping his hands. He too was wearing his Illyrian leathers. "Still no white or gold, Feathers?" She teased.

"I'm working on it, Batsy," Mikael laughed. "I've had to place a special order back in Windhaven."

"Did you really?" Estelle arched an eyebrow.

"Yes. Emerie is making me a pair, provided I brought the leather to her, already dyed. I gave it to her the last time we were there." He formed his hands into fists. "Hand to hand. Father pointed out that I need to work on that more."

"We weren't together when I told you to get white or gold."

"Does it matter? I told you I would look into it."

"Why?"

She blocked his punch with a forearm and knocked the side of her hand against his neck. He winced and came in for another approach. "Why not? It's what you wanted."

"But...we weren't together."

"Batsy, I told you that I wanted you even then," Mikael chuckled. "I was going to do anything it took to get on your good side. Besides, you're right. White and gold will look good on me."

Estelle dodged his next attack and sprang up, leveling a kick at his side. Mikael bent over backwards, letting the kick sail right over them. His own foot snapped up and collided with her gut. Estelle staggered back, her stomach churning.

She turned away just as she vomited. "Shit," Mikael gasped. "I'm sorry, Estelle. Are you all right?"

She waved a dismissive hand, wrapping her arm around her stomach. "I'll be fine." Estelle's cheeks burned as she threw up again. "I need to go." She pulled the shadows around herself, vanishing before Mikael had the chance to reply.