The artwork above is not mine.

•༻☾☽༺•

    Seren sat in the tub, flames dancing around her shoulders. Water lapped at her chin and bubbled as it made contact with her flames. Azriel's shadows swirled around the flames eagerly. Seren watched them in a mirror she had propped up across from the tub.

    She squeezed her eyes shut and drew her knees up to her chest. Sweat beaded along her brow from the heat of the water. Seren lifted her hands and let her flames spread to them. As usual, her heartbeat quickened.

    I am in control of these flames, she reminded herself. They won't hurt me. They can't hurt me. The shadows wrapped around her hands, offering what comfort they could.

    Seren finally stepped out of the tub. She wrapped a towel around herself, then examined her visible limbs in the mirror. Her legs were just as scarred as the rest of her body. The hand shaped burn on her thigh was more prominent than the others. Seren balanced on one foot and examined the scars on the bottom of the other. There was a ridged X on her heel and another sideways T shaped scar rested just behind her toes.

    She exhaled slowly and pulled her hair up into the towel. Seren turned in a slow circle, eyeing the rest of her scars. I have to get used to them, she thought. Maybe when I'm finally used to them, other people's reactions to them won't affect me so badly.

    She blinked and took in the whip scars on her back. They are a punishment and a prize. A punishment for my betrayal...for not telling them the truth. A prize for staying committed to them. A prize for protecting them. I don't have to be ashamed of them or afraid of them. Seren released another heavy sigh, feeling some tension leaving her body.

    She pulled on her pajamas and left the bathroom after draining the tub. Seren climbed into bed and tucked her dagger, Metanoia, beneath her pillow. When will you be back? She called down the Bond.

    Tomorrow evening, Azriel answered. Cassian said Kallon was threatening Jorah again and it was worse than usual. Cass is staying to make sure Kallon doesn't try anything and he asked if I would help.

    All right. Seren grabbed a spare pillow and hugged it to her chest.

    How was Adriata?

    It was beautiful but hot.

    Did Amren behave herself? Seren hesitated to answer. Seren?

    Not exactly, Seren replied finally. But it's all right. A twinge of anger drifted across the Bond. Nesta and I came home and Amren is still in Adriata, as far as I know.

    Do you need me to come home?

    No, I'm fine. Stay with Cassian. Shadows brushed across her cheek affectionately as Azriel's presence settled once more. Seren hugged her pillow tightly and closed her eyes.

•༻☾☽༺•

    She was in her old home, running through dusty hallways. Belongings were scattered everywhere. Precious heirlooms and trinkets lay in broken pieces. Seren ran to the nearest staircase. Boots pounded behind her.

    She remembered the sound all to well. He was angry. It was her fault. "Get back here, Girl!" Trestwyn bellowed. "Look at what you've done!"

    Seren continued to run. Her feet felt as though they were made of lead. She stumbled up the staircase and rounded a corner. Her room was just ahead. If she could reach it and lock the door, then she would be safe.

    Seren panted for breath, still running. "Don't run from me, Girl!"

    "Leave me alone!" Seren cried, tears welling up in her eyes.

    "Look at what you've done!"

    Seren reached her room. She flung the door open, but someone grabbed her arm. She was jerked around and came face to face with her father. Only, Trestwyn's face wasn't his own. Her mother's mutilated face sat where his should have.

    Seren screamed, tripping over her own feet. She scrambled backwards but the creature followed her. "Look at what you've done!" Aralynn's voice overlapped Trestwyn's. "This was your fault! Damn you, Girl! This was your fault! Look at what you've done!"

    Trestwyn's nails dug into her arm and raked across her skin. Seren yelped and blood began to gush from the wound. She covered the wounds, then gasped. Her burns were blackened and bloody, just as they had been when she received them.

    Every scar on her body was a fresh wound once more. Seren doubled over from pain. She screamed, begging for someone to help her. No one could help her. When she managed to look up again, she saw a set of Illyrian wings encased in glass. Blue siphons were pinned in place beside them. Seren wailed again as her blood continued to spill.

    "Look at what you've done!" Trestwyn and Aralynn thundered over her cries. "Look at what you've done, Girl!"

•༻☾☽༺•

    Seren lurched awake, her stomach churning. She tumbled out of bed and barely made it to the bathroom before vomiting. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she couldn't shake away the horror of her nightmare. Seren vomited again.

    Several minutes later, there was a soft knock on the bedroom door. "Ser?" Mor called. "Seren, all you all right?"

    Seren ignored her. Her stomach rolled and she vomited once more. The balcony doors clicked open. Mor entered the bathroom. She crouched down behind Seren and pulled her hair back. Seren rested her forehead against the rim of the toilet, waiting to see if she would vomit again.

    "What happened?" Mor asked.

    "Nightmare." Seren's voice was hoarse.

    "How long has it been since you had one?"

    She closed her eyes and attempted to steady her breathing. "Almost a month." Seren straightened and flushed the toilet. Mor remained silent as she rinsed her mouth out repeatedly. Her entire body trembled uncontrollably.

    The balcony doors flew open again just as they left the bathroom. Azriel scanned the room, then spotted them. He pulled Seren into a tight embrace and smoothed hair away from her damp forehead. Seren leaned into him, breathing in his scent, night chilled mist and cedar. His leathers were cool against her too warm skin.

    "What happened? I felt your panic."

    Seren couldn't reply. She just hugged him tighter. "She had a nightmare," Mor answered.

    "What was it about?" Azriel asked, his voice gentle.

    "My parents," Seren managed to speak at last. She let scenes from the dream pass down the Bond.

    "It's all right," he murmured, stroking her hair. "You're home. You're safe." She felt him lift his head. "Will you stay with her, Mor?"

    "Of course."

    Why can't you stay? Seren asked. She felt pathetic immediately after she finished the question.

    You're not pathetic. I saw Erebus leaving Ironcrest and I need to find out what he's up to. I promise I'll be back as soon as possible.

    Azriel tilted her head up and kissed her. "Don't let the shadows be overbearing." Seren managed a small smile. He kissed her forehead before leaving. Mor closed the balcony doors behind him.

    "I'm not going to be able to sleep," Seren said.

    "We can do something else," Mor offered.

    "Like what?"

    Mor thought for a moment. "Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn went to Rita's. We could go if you feel up to it."

    Seren chuckled lightly and elbowed Mor. "You don't have to use me as an excuse to see Emerie."

    "I'm not. I'm using you as an excuse to go to Rita's, which is where Emerie is," Mor replied with a wink.

    Seren shook her head, but smiled. "Give me a minute to change."

    Mor sprawled out on the bed while Seren rooted around in her closet. "You know, it's nice to see Azriel's affectionate side. Before you came along, he was always so moody and quiet. He still is, of course, but less so. You've helped him a lot."

    "I remember," Seren replied. She pulled on a pair of loose but comfortable pants and a ruffled shirt. "He still has his struggles, though. He has nightmares of his own and doesn't like me touching him afterwards."

    "Why?"

    "The same reason he didn't like people touching him before, and why he didn't like holding Nyx. He feels like he's tainted by the things he's done and the things that have been done to him."

    "Just like you," Mor said.

    "Yes." Seren slipped on a pair of sandals and faced Mor. "All right. I'm ready."

    "Let's go!" Mor grabbed Seren's hand and pulled her out of the bedroom. They crept down dark hallways and staircases until they reached the front doors. When they passed the gates, Mor winnowed them to Rita's.

    The club wasn't as busy as Seren expected. It's the middle of the night. That's why, she thought to herself. Most people are asleep right now.

    She followed Mor into the club. Emerie and Nesta were dancing with a few other people. Gwyn sat in a booth with a goblet in one hand and a pastry in the other. She waved as Mor and Seren approached.

    "I didn't expect to see you here," she said.

    "We decided to come at the last minute," Mor answered with a laugh.

    Emerie and Nesta joined the group. Emerie's warm gaze passed over Mor. "Are those your pajamas?"

    Mor smoothed out her red silk shirt. "As a matter of fact, they are."

    "Why didn't you change?"

    "Did I need to?"

    "Of course not." Emerie's dark cheeks flushed. "You look great in everything."

    "You look pale," Gwyn said, leaning towards Seren.

    "Oh, I..." she fumbled for words. She sighed, finally. "I had a nightmare and threw up a few times. That's probably why."

    "You should eat something then." Gwyn snapped her fingers and a waitress arrived. "What would you like?"

    "Do you serve potato soup?" Seren asked.

    "We do," the waitress answered.

    "One bowl, please."

    The waitress smiled and hurried away. "Was your nightmare because of what happened with Amren?" Nesta asked.

    Seren shrugged and rubbed her palms together. "Most likely, but I'm not certain. It's been almost a month since my last nightmare."

    "What happened with Amren?" Gwyn asked.

    "I don't really feel like talking about it," Seren said. "Nesta can tell you later if you're still curious."

    Gwyn nodded, understanding shining in her large teal eyes. "Come on, Emerie. Let's go dance." She grabbed the Illyrian's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. Nesta joined them shortly.

    "Are you going to dance with them?" Seren asked.

    "After you get your food," Mor replied.

    "You and Emerie have been seeing each other for a long time. Why don't you make things official?"

    Mor tugged a lock of golden hair over her shoulder and began to fiddle with it. "I'm worried about what the others will think. Obviously they've seen us flirting, but to actually come out and tell them...I've kept this secret for so long. You and Feyre are still the only ones who actually know, besides Emerie and other females I've been with, of course." Mor's gaze drifted across the room and landed on Emerie. "Do you think there have been same gender mates in the past?"

    "You think Emerie is your mate?"

    "I don't know. That's why I'm asking if you think there has been such a thing before."

    "Not that I've heard of, but that doesn't mean anything. There very well could have been and they just chose to stay quiet about it." The waitress returned and placed a steaming bowl of soup before Seren. Seren took a bite and sighed with contentment. "Maybe you should talk about it with Emerie. Becoming official, I mean. And about being mates, but that is entirely up to your discretion."

    Mor nodded after a moment. "I'll think about it. Enjoy your soup. I'll be over here if you need me." She slid out of the booth and joined Emerie, Nesta, and Gwyn on the dance floor.

    Seren busied herself with her food and allowed her thoughts to run. She found herself circling back to her conversation with Azriel only two days ago. Am I ready for a baby? Before tonight, it had been nearly a month since I had a nightmare, but that doesn't mean the nightmares are going away. I don't think they ever will. They'll just come less frequently.

    I wish Elain were here, she thought. I could talk to her about it before going to Feyre. Seren took another bite of soup. I'll talk to Feyre about it soon. She'll have more advice for me than Elain anyway, I suppose. She continued to eat and let herself relax, while watching the four other females dancing.