You wanted to slap yourself in the face. You always thought that you were more capable than the type of girl who would lose her way when an attractive man looked your way. Maybe that was true. No man had ever made you become a stammering wreck or weak at the knees, but a specific Illyrian had certainly had that capability, whether he was aware of it or not.

As soon as you had met Azriel, you found it impossible to not like him a lot more than you should have liked a friend. You didn't have the confidence to admit how you felt though. He internalised everything, so you weren't sure at all how he felt about you and you weren't about to make a fool of yourself nor out your friendship on the line for the sake of admitting how you felt. You had done your best to hide it, not let him on to the fact that you liked him, and you did believe that you were being subtle- that wasn't the case for everyone though.

Mor had been grinning at you the whole time you were talking to Azriel on the other side of the room until he left to get on with his day. As soon as he was out of the room, she rushed to your side, giving your arm and excited squeeze.

"You like Azriel," she grinned.

Your face paled as your body stiffened. You were prepared to lie for as long as you needed to even if it was a stupid idea to do to someone who had the gift of truth.

"What?"

Her expression fell as she cocked her brow at you, making it evident that you were frankly a terrible liar and starting to play dumb wasn't going to work.

"Don't lie to me Y/N," she stated. "It's obvious."

"I... I don't know what you mean."

"That's what you sound like when you talk to him. You can barely say a sentence without tripping over your words and that's if you aren't too busy staring at him to notice anything that would make you actually trip over," she said. "Are you going to tell him?"

Her playful smile reappeared as she jabbed at your arm in a jovial punch. Your façade instantly dropped at such a preposterous suggestion. Mor may have seen it as a playful, funny idea but to you it was almost impossible and terrifying.

"No!" You almost explained. "I can't bloody tell Az that I like him!"

"Why?" She laughed. "He likes you too. He may not show it very clearly, but I've known him long enough to know that he likes you."

You shook your head. "He doesn't and that's fine. I'm glad to be his friend, I can't risk that."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

You shrugged your shoulders, having thought about what could happen so many times but there wasn't enough time in this conversation to explore each of those outcomes.

"I don't know. I can't just go up to him and say, 'hey Azriel, guess what? I've liked you since we met, and I haven't had the balls to say anything, but I thought why the fuck not say something now and make a fool of myself?' I can't do that."

Her expression fell as you spoke as her eyes widened slightly. At first you weren't sure what had caused her to do so as it certainly wasn't what you were saying but then you heard someone clear their throat from the doorway behind you and it felt as though your heart had leaped out of your chest.

~*~

Written by Charlotte.

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