Evren stood in the stables, brushing down Asper. The afternoon was warm but dark clouds swirled overhead, promising rain later on. Asper snorted and shook his mane. Evren looked up, hearing footsteps close by. She peered over Asper's back.

    Celosia waited in the stable door. Evren almost didn't recognize her. Instead of her usual finery, Celosia wore a shirt and pants. Her hair was braided and her boots were freshly shined.

    "What do you want?" Evren asked.

    "I want to be a little more like you," Celosia replied.

    "What do you mean?" Evren picked up her saddle blanket and smoothed it over Asper's hide. She situated the saddle atop it and strapped everything in place.

    "I've lived a very...privileged life. I've had servants waiting on me hand and foot. I wear fine clothes. I have plenty of jewelry. I can sing, play piano, paint, dance, and do all sorts of things, but I can't seem to be..." she pursed her lips, thinking. "Humble?"

    Evren took Asper by the reins and led him out of the stable. "You want to learn to be humble?"

    "I suppose so."

    "Do you know what humble means?"

    "Of course I do."

    Evren huffed in amusement. "All right. Here's something you can do to be humble."

    She scooped up a handful of mud from the damp ground. Celosia's eyes widened, but she didn't move. Evren smeared the mud across her face and down her shirt. Celosia stared at herself in disgust.

    "Ride through a village like that," Evren said. "Nothing will humble you more than being put on display when you're not looking your best."

    "Is this your idea of a joke?" Celosia snapped. "I'm trying to be nice."

    "Are you really?" Evren raised an eyebrow. "Or are you just trying to impress the High Lord, who, if I recall correctly, told you to leave us both alone?"

    "You little eavesdropper."

    "It's not my fault your voice is as loud as screech owl's."

    Celosia grabbed a fistful of mud and hurled it at Evren. Evren dodged with a shout. More mud began to fly her way. She grabbed globs of mud and chucked them at Celosia. One mudball splattered against her cheek. Evren wiped the mud from her eye and dropped to the ground.

    Celosia screamed as Evren grabbed her heel and dragged her down too. Despite herself, something in her was delighted by the way Celosia shrieked as she was slathered in mud. Celosia's shrieks were turning into laughter.

    She flipped Evren off her and smeared mud into her dark hair. Evren smacked a muddy hand onto Celosia's forehead, pushing her back. Evren sat up, taking in her appearance. She was as muddy as Celosia. The only thing visible of the High Fae was her sapphire eyes, which sparkled with humor.

    Thunder clapped overhead and a few drops of rain began to fall. Evren lifted her face to the sky, closing her eyes. "I suppose I won't be able to ride Asper now."

    "I suppose not," Celosia agreed. She wiped mud from her cheeks, smiling brightly.

    Another horse whinnied, riding up to them. Eris knit his brows at the sight of them. "Celosia?"

    "I hear mud is rejuvenating for your skin," Celosia said quickly.

    A flicker of a smile crossed his lips. "I see."

    Celosia picked herself up and paced towards the house. Rain fell down harder. Evren grabbed Asper's reins and led him back into the stables. Eris followed her in.

    "I told her to leave you alone," he said.

    "I know. I overheard your conversation the other night. She came over and told me she wanted to be more like me. She wanted to be humble."

    Evren wiped most of the mud off her hands and began undoing Asper's saddle straps. "How did the two of you end up covered in mud?" Eris asked, unsaddling his own mount.

    "I smeared mud on her face and told her to ride through a village looking like that. We had an argument which escalated into a mud fight."

    "And Celosia isn't mad at you?"

    "It doesn't seem like it."

    "Interesting." He fell silent for a few moments. "If you heard our conversation, then you know I wanted her to find out about your parents, right?"

    "Yes," Evren sighed. She tugged Asper's bridle off and led him to his stall. "But it's not something I want to talk about with anyone. Not even Cadoc knows everything that happened." She glanced over her shoulder. Eris' amber eyes darkened at the sound of Cadoc's name.

    Thunder boomed again and Asper started. Evren leaped back and closed his stall door. He snorted, pawing at the ground. She leaned into the stall and stroked his muzzle soothingly.

    "Do you know what my next assignment will be?" Evren asked.

    "I haven't decided yet. I have a meeting coming up and I've been trying to prepare for that."

    "What kind of meeting?" Evren asked curiously.

    Eris hesitated. "An informal one."

    "What does that mean?"

    He combed his fingers through his damp hair. "Once a month, I go to the Night Court to meet with Rhysand and his Inner Circle. It's an informal meeting. We don't talk about business or anything."

    "What do you do?"

    "We..." Evren moved closer to him. There was a hint of a blush in his cheeks, as though he was embarrassed by what he was going to say. "We just spend time together."

    "Celosia told me your brother lives there."

    "Lucien. He lives there with his mate, Elain."

    "She said you and Lucien were never close, but now you're working on mending your relationship."

    "I have never been close with anyone," Eris replied. "The moment my younger brothers were born, my position became dangerous. If I planned on becoming High Lord, I had to be the strongest, smartest, and cruelest of us all. I had no time for family, friends, or lovers. I couldn't afford to have any of that. I risked having them used against me."

    Evren leaned against the wall next to his horse's stall. "From what I've learned, it seems like you were close to your mother."

    "I was and it cost both of us."

    "Why did you want to become the High Lord so badly?"

    Eris glanced at her. "So that I could save my mother...and myself."

    "Was it worth everything you've done to achieve it?"

    "No price is too great when it's your family at risk," Eris answered. "What would you have risked to save yours?"

    "Everything," Evren murmured.

    Eris held her gaze briefly, then continued. "Somehow, I managed to become the monster I had to be. Now that I have what I want, I put on the face of the beast my people want to see when I'm in public. In private, I'm trying to be less like my father, starting with finding my friends and family."

    "I never made friends in the Mortal Lands. I didn't have time," Evren said. "And as I've said, I don't want anyone to mourn me when I'm gone."

    "Do you still plan on dying after you've finished here?"

    Evren nodded. "It's not like I have anything to go back home to. After I've avenged my parents, my purpose in life will be gone. I don't want to go back to the Mortal Lands. To Cadoc. I want to die and pray that I can see my parents for at least a few moments in the afterlife before my soul passes into eternal torment for all that I've done."

    "You talk about it so calmly."

    "I've known I wanted to do this for years now. I've come to terms with it. What have I to fear? Everything I've ever done will have led me to that point."

    "You don't want to live and see if things ever become better?" Eris asked.

    "How would they become better?"

    "I'm paying you well enough that you could find somewhere else to live. You'd be able to live comfortably and not worry about Cadoc stealing from you. You'd never have to see him again. You wouldn't have to be an assassin either."

    Evren considered it for half a second. She could have the freedom to do whatever she wanted. She could live on playing music for others. She wouldn't have to see Cadoc ever again. She wouldn't have to kill. She could make friends, perhaps have a family. She could...no, she couldn't.

    "No, I don't think that's an option for me," she said. She turned to leave. Eris reached for her but stopped himself. Evren hesitated.

    "Things are getting better for me. I'm sure they could get better for you too," he said. "I've been alive for over 500 years. I've killed and tortured more people than you ever have, more than you ever will. I drove away everyone who ever cared about me. I became a monster. I made myself hate and be hated, but somehow..." He shook his head with a slight chuckle. "Somehow, things are changing for the better."

    "I don't have 500 years to try to fix my life," Evren replied. "I'd rather end it before it gets worse." She left the stables. Rain poured from the clouds, washing the mud from her skin. She didn't look back to see if the High Lord was following.

•~ ❘ ۞ ❘ ~•

    Eris stared after Evren's receding form. Her sodden clothes clung to her thin figure. Through the light material of her shirt, he could make out ridged scars on her back, clearly made by a whip. How many other scars was she hiding? How many mental scars did she have? More than he could imagine, if she believed she had no purpose beyond avenging her parents.

    She wants no one to mourn her when she's gone, so she makes herself out to be a monster, Eris thought. What will she do if there is someone who will mourn her? What will she do if someone manages to see past the monster?

    Eris started towards the Forest House as Evren disappeared inside. There had been a time when he'd shared her thoughts. He had believed that he'd never be anything more than a monster. What was the point of trying to be something more? But then, he'd realized something. Even monsters have a purpose. Even monsters have a family. Monsters came from somewhere. They belonged somewhere.

    If he belonged somewhere, then Evren surely did too. Eris strode into the house, resolution hardening in his mind. He would not see this young woman throw away what remained of her life. He would not allow her to die, believing that she was nothing more than an unholy object. He would not allow her to see herself in the same light he often saw himself.