38. Overcoming Fears

The artwork above is not mine.

•༻☾☽༺•

She did gain another bargain tattoo and Azriel was the one who noticed it first. Two wings had been tattooed across her back mimicking Illyrian wings. She had no idea if Erebus had a tattoo or not. Seren didn't like the idea of having matching marks with him, but it was for the females.

Seren reminded herself of that every day, as several male warriors watched her training lessons and threw insults towards them all. It was for the females. It was for those who hadn't learned to fight back. It was for those who deserved a chance to fight. It was for those who were fighting to overcome their fears.

At first, only Jorah trained with her and Elain. Then, another female showed up, and another. Three days after Jorah's training began, six females stood in the ring. Seren and Elain demonstrated a few punches and blocking maneuvers. The females paired up and practiced on one another. Cassian hollered encouragement from outside the training ring. He was accompanying them today, since Azriel was apparently busy being the Spymaster.

Seren watched Jorah as she executed an attack. Her fist collided with her opponent's jaw and the other female crumpled. "Oh, sorry, Kalea!" Jorah offered her a hand and pulled her up.

"That was a good hit," Kalea replied, rubbing her jaw. "Can I repay you?"

Jorah folded her hands behind her back. Kalea wound up and threw a punch. Jorah staggered back from the blow, then chuckled. "Now we're even."

"Good form." Seren joined them, grinning. "Have you been practicing outside the ring?"

"Maybe a little," Jorah admitted. Her voice had grown stronger now and she spoke more often. It made Seren very happy. "When my father isn't around."

Seren's smile faltered. "He hasn't punished you for coming, has he?"

Jorah shook her head. "He won't while Cassian and Azriel are here. Father is one of the few warriors in this camp who respects them."

I'm glad to know there's someone who does, Seren thought. Her gaze flickered to Jorah's wings. Cruel scars marred their central tendons. One wing was slightly smaller than the other.

Jorah stretched them partially, noticing her gaze. "You can ask if you want. I don't mind."

"I don't like to ask about things. If someone wants to tell me, they will. Until then, I don't need to know," Seren replied. Kalea joined the others, leaving them alone.

Jorah seemed faintly surprised by her statement. "Really?"

Seren nodded. "For two reasons. One, it's rude to ask about things that might be uncomfortable for the other person to talk about. Two, I grew up knowing not to ask questions about certain things."

Jorah thought for a moment, then answered. "It wasn't my father who clipped my wings. My grandfather did. My mother died in childbirth and one of my wings became injured during the birth. It was crippled and never grew to full size, leaving me unable to fly. Father didn't plan to clip me because of that, but my grandfather decided it had to be done for tradition's sake." Jorah lifted her sparkling hazelnut eyes to the sky. "It's hard to know you belong somewhere and you'll never be able to reach it."

Seren furrowed her brows, thinking. "You could, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"I fly with Azriel all the time. He carries me. It's not quite the same, but it's as close as I can get."

Jorah bit her lip, looking almost hopeful. "Do you think one of them would fly with me?"

"Would you like me to ask?"

Jorah nodded. "But you have to come too. I know they must be good males, but..."

"I understand. I'll ask them." Seren nodded to the group. "Finish the lesson."

Jorah grinned and sprinted over to the others. Seren watched her go, then crossed the ring and joined Cassian. "She seems better," he said.

"I think training and kindness has helped a lot," Seren replied. "And I have a small request."

"Sure."

"Can we take her flying while we're here?"

"You mean one of us would carry her? Is she all right with that?"

Seren nodded. "Provided I come along."

"She won't get into trouble, will she?"

Seren shook her head. "I don't think so. Not while we're here anyway. Jorah said her father respects you and Azriel and that's why he hasn't punished her for coming to the lessons."

Cassian grinned. "All right. I'll tell Az when he gets back. We'll have to figure something out with Elain, though."

"Oh, right. I'll talk to her," Seren promised. She headed back to the females as the lesson resumed.

•༻☾☽༺•

Azriel perched on the mountain side, watching Erebus, Kallon, and a few warriors beneath him. Shadows kept him hidden from view and they covered the glow of Seren's flame. "Rhysand thinks he's accomplishing something by sending his dogs after us," Kallon spat.

"Let Rhysand do what he wants," Erebus replied. "The General and the Spymaster can do nothing to us without his consent. He knows he needs us, so we've nothing to fear."

"You shouldn't have agreed to that wench's bargain," one of the warriors said. "Now many of the warriors are uncertain of you. Do you actually intent to break tradition and laws and train the females to be warriors equal to the males?"

Kallon answered for his father. "He has to if that girl holds up her end of the bargain. Otherwise, there will be a price to pay."

Erebus stroked his chin, thinking. "I might have an idea, actually. I'll be bound to nothing if she fails, so we must ensure that's what happens. We agreed that there would be no extinguishing the female's desire to train after the bargain is met. We never agreed to anything of the sort before. Tell the males to offer them some discouragement."

"And if that doesn't work?" Kallon prompted.

"I have a plan for that too."

Azriel waited to see if he'd elaborate, but he didn't. The warriors jumped into the air and headed back to camp. When they were out of sight, Azriel revealed himself and took off as well.

Ten Illyrian females were in the ring when he reached the camp. There had only been six that morning. Azriel spotted Seren and Elain demonstrating a few moves. Seren swept a leg over Elain's head. Elain ducked and brought her own leg up, catching Seren's. Mother above, those Illyrian leathers were driving him crazy.

He landed next to Cassian, still watching his mate as she worked. "Did you learn anything?" Cassian asked.

"They're going to start threatening the females to try to ensure Seren doesn't meet her end of the bargain."

"They can't do that."

"They can. Erebus only agreed to not hinder the females after the bargain was met, not before."

"Shit." Cassian pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's going to complicate things. They agreed to thirty-five. There's only ten here."

"We'll figure something out."

"Oh, Seren wants us to take Jorah for a flight, but Ser has to come with."

"What about Elain?"

Cassian shrugged. "I don't know. I could carry her too but it'd be a little inconvenient. Honestly, I think she'll be all right if she stays in the hut while we're gone." Azriel shook his head immediately. "Wait, hear me out. We've got shields placed over it so only someone in our group can go in and out. No one can break them and she knows better than to let someone come in. She'll be fine."

Azriel sighed, then nodded. "We keep the flight short. Ten minutes at most. Or you can stay out longer with Jorah, and Seren and I will come back."

"All right."

They watched the rest of the lesson in silence. Most of the females were quick learners. A few struggled to master certain moves. Seren was quick to help them. Azriel saw the fiery gleam in her eyes and he knew what she was thinking. She saw herself in those females. She saw who she used to be. She was determined to help them work past that, just as he'd helped her.

Finally, the lesson ended. The females dispersed, but Jorah stayed with Seren and Elain. Cassian and Azriel entered the ring and joined them. "Will you be all right with staying in the hut?" Cassian asked Elain.

She bit her lip nervously. "Will it be safe?"

He nodded. "Remember the shields we placed over it? No one except the four of us can pass through them. As long as you stay inside, you'll be fine."

"And Seren and I will only be gone for ten minutes," Azriel added.

"All right. Don't leave until you see me get to the hut." Elain walked off and they remained in the ring.

They waited until she reached the hut. She disappeared inside and Cassian held out a hand to Jorah. She took it nervously. Azriel wrapped his arms around Seren and jumped into the air. Cassian and Jorah were right behind them.

They flew high above the mountains. The air was cool and crisp. There was a promise of snow in the clouds above. Jorah laughed with joy, spreading her arms out wide. Cassian grinned and flew faster.

"She wouldn't have been able to fly even if her wings weren't clipped," Seren said. Her voice was sorrowful. "She said one of her wings was crippled when she was born."

"That's terrible. An Illyrian doesn't feel whole without being able to reach the sky."

"I'm glad she agreed to this. I thought she wouldn't at first."

"I'm glad she did too."

Seren glanced at him. "What did you learn today?"

Azriel pressed his lips into a thin line. "You need to be careful and keep encouraging the females. Kallon and Erebus are going to do whatever they can to keep you from meeting your end of the bargain."

"I should've been more explicit in my wording," Seren sighed.

"Erebus is a master at finding loopholes. He always has been. Don't scold yourself. It's been three days and there were ten females in that ring. In another three days, there could be twenty. Another three, thirty. Then you only have to convince five more to train."

"I think that will be easier said than done." Azriel sighed, then flipped her in his arms. She gasped, clutching his wrists tightly. "What are you doing?"

"Spread your arms out," he instructed.

Seren pried her fingers from him and obeyed. Her braid flew backwards, tickling his neck. Azriel flew faster until they caught up with Cassian and Jorah. "Care to race, Brother?" Cassian laughed.

He gave a powerful thrust with his wings and soared away. Azriel flew harder and they caught up. Seren laughed, keeping her arms out. He smiled at her. "You're not scared anymore?"

Seren craned her neck around, meeting his gaze. "No. You won't drop me, and if you did, I think I could winnow to safety."

The shadows curled around her neck and wound through her hair. Lady of Ashes. The Shadow's Flame. She is not afraid. Our equal. Ours. Ours. Ours.

My equal, Azriel echoed. My mate. Seren drew her hands back in and gripped his. They flew after Cassian and Jorah for a while longer. Finally, the four of them turned around and returned to camp.

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