Morning dawned and Seren was exhausted. Her eyes stung with the grit of weariness. Her sleep had been fitful as she had tried to keep certain memories from resurfacing in her dreams. She said nothing to Nuala and Cerridwen when they arrived and straightened her room. She dressed herself and joined the others for breakfast.

    Azriel, Cassian, Nesta, and Amren were missing from the breakfast table. Mor was in a very talkative mood. Seren tuned her out and occasionally nodded, pretending to listen. She had no idea if anyone else tried to talk to her.

    By the time Rhys and Feyre winnowed her to the mountain clearing, she still had not spoken. Seren barely heard Rhys explain her assignment. Somehow, she managed to summon her daemati powers and begin.

•༻☾☽༺•

    Azriel landed near the gates of the river house. His stomach growled loudly. I hate going to work on an empty stomach, he thought. And the meeting this morning was useless anyway. He hadn't learned anything of importance from Eris, regarding Beron's plans.

    In fact, Azriel had spent most of the meeting hoping that the High Lord's son wouldn't recognize Seren's scent. They'd met with him several times after Seren's arrival, but they hadn't been around her long enough for her scent to settle. Now, it clung to Azriel even after he bathed and changed his clothes. His shadows had hidden the flaming band on his arm. Eris had asked no questions, but that didn't mean anything.

    Azriel walked past the gardens, then paused, hearing Mor and Elain. "She didn't even seem to be listening to me," Mor said.

    "Maybe she just had a bad night? Last night, I asked her to tell me about her life back in the Autumn Court. That might have upset her."

    They're talking about Seren, Azriel realized.

They are concerned. Her behavior was strange, the shadows murmured. She was withdrawn.

    "Maybe Rhys and Feyre will talk to her," Mor sighed. Azriel stepped into the open. Elain was planting a few seedlings. Mor held Nyx in her arms. "You're back. How did the meeting go?"

    "Not well. Eris thinks Beron is starting to suspect him. Beron won't tell him anything anymore. We might have to leave Eris alone for a while, until he regains his father's trust." Azriel shoved his hands behind his back as Elain watched him coldly. "Is Rhys here?" He already knew the answer, of course.

    "No, he and Feyre are training with Seren. They left an hour ago so they should be back soon."

    "All right." Azriel turned away, then paused as Elain spoke.

    "I want to talk to you." She pushed herself up. Elain wiped her hands off on her dress and joined him. "Now."

    He raised his eyebrows at the authority in her voice. "All right." Azriel glanced back. Mor gave him a sympathetic look.

    They walked a short distance away and turned around the corner of the house. "I want answers," Elain said. "Why have you been avoiding me? What changed? Do you not like me anymore?"

    "I..." his shadows began to drift over him.

    Elain planted her hands on her hips and glared. "Don't hide yourself from me, Azriel. I deserve to know."

    "Yes, you do." His shadows slunk back to his shoulders. They remained ready, though, in case he needed them. "But I can't explain."

    "Why not?" He didn't reply. Elain continued to glare. The expression was unfamiliar on her usually gentle and happy features. He could see Feyre in her glare. By the Mother, he could see Nesta too. "You don't get to do this to me. You don't get to be my closest friend and comforter and then leave as though nothing happened. You don't get to manipulate my feelings. You don't get to use my emotional state to your advantage. You don't get to use me!" Her voice lifted to a scream.

    Azriel looked away, guilt tearing into his mind like hungry wolves. "I didn't mean..."

    "Didn't mean what? You didn't mean to make me fall for you? You didn't mean to care for me? You didn't mean what, Azriel?"

    "I didn't mean to hurt you."

    "Well, you did and I want to know why."

    "If it had been my choice, this wouldn't have happened."

    "What do you mean?" Elain narrowed her eyes. "Was it Lucien? Did he threaten you?"

    "No, it wasn't Lucien. Don't be angry with him."

    "I'm not anymore." Elain crossed her arms. "He has never been anything but honest with me. I can't say the same for you." Silver rimmed her eyes and her throat bobbed. Azriel closed his eyes, waiting for the insult. "Although, I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything more from a Spymaster." She clapped a hand over her mouth, as though surprised with herself. "I..."

    "Don't apologize. You're being honest." Azriel still didn't meet her gaze. "And I wish I could be. I don't know what to tell you, Elain."

    "Then figure it out. I want answers." She swiped a hand across her eyes and stormed away.

    Shadows wrapped around Azriel. He drew comfort from their familiar darkness. He stood there for a long time, simply thinking and breathing. At last, footsteps approached. Rhys, from the sound of them.

    "How was the meeting?" Rhys asked.

    "Unsatisfactory."

    "Let's go inside. You can tell Feyre and I at the same time. We'll pass it on to the others."

    "I can tell them."

    "No," Rhys shook his head. "I need you to check on Seren after we've finished."

    His heartbeat quickened at the concern in Rhys' voice. "Why? What's wrong?"

    "I don't know. She hasn't said a word all morning. Feyre and I tried to catch a glimpse of what she was thinking during training but her shields were too strong."

    "Let's go, then." Azriel followed Rhys into the house.

•༻☾☽༺•

    Seren sat on the edge of her bed, focusing on her breathing. The flames in her fireplace rose and fell as she breathed. It did little to relieve the pressure in her chest. That pressure had appeared during her daemati training and was steadily growing worse. As was her headache and exhaustion.

    She hadn't said a word to anyone yet and it was nearly noon. Seren opened her mouth and tried to speak. Her voice caught in her throat. Memories pounded at their cages within her mind, screaming to be seen. She ignored them.

    Why now? Why must it be now? She wondered. Why didn't this happen when Father died? Or all the times I spoke with Rhys and Azriel? Why now?

    Seren bit her lip and continued to work her hands together. She knew why, but she didn't want to acknowledge it. The day was approaching. It would mark 100 years exactly.

    "I wish I could tell you the truth."

    Seren shook her mother's voice away. No. Not this year either. 100 years and she hadn't cried for her mother. Would it be another 100 years before she did? Would she ever be able to cry for her father?

    There was a knock at the door. Seren remained still. The shadow on her arm tightened and yanked her towards the door. She sighed and crossed the room. Seren unlocked the door, revealing Azriel.

    His hazel eyes filled with concern as he looked her up and down. "What's wrong?" Seren swallowed and did not reply. "Seren?" She backed away and closed the door. She locked it again and retreated to her seat on the bed. After a while, she heard Azriel walk away.

    Seren lay on her bed, folding her hands across her stomach. She focused on her breathing again. The flames in her fireplace crackled, then went quiet. She closed her eyes, but didn't let herself sleep.

    The balcony doors flew open. Seren bolted upright, then relaxed, seeing Azriel. "You don't lock them anymore," he said. "And I didn't learn that from spying. We had talked the night you stopped locking these doors." He leaned against the wall and didn't come any closer. "Do you want to talk?" She shook her head. He thought for a minute. "Do you want to hit something?" Seren hesitated, then nodded.

    Azriel held out an arm. She tugged her boots on and joined him. He carried her down to Elain's garden. It was devoid of people. He pulled her against his chest, but they didn't fly. Shadows surrounded them and Seren had the sensation of being immersed in a thick liquid. She squeezed her eyes shut.

    When she opened them, they were standing in the mountain clearing. Azriel released her and backed away. "Hit me." His siphons flashed with light.

    Seren regarded him thoughtfully, then lunged. Her fists pounded against his shields. Her thoughts roared with fury as she landed blow after blow. Azriel took them all, his shields covering his body.

    "Tell me," he said.

    Seren still couldn't talk. She struck at him again. His face blurred before her eyes. All she could see was her father. Her blows became harder and faster. It was her father who fended her off. It was her father standing before her.

    "Did you know?" Seren saw her mother's mangled corpse on the floor. Her father bent over Aralynn, tracing her cheek with his knuckle. "Did you know, Girl?"

    She kicked and punched, her hands growing warmer by the minute.

    "Damn you, Girl. This was your fault! She is dead and it's your fault!" A dagger appeared in his hand. Trestwyn's eyes were liquid fire. He buried the blade in Aralynn's unbreathing chest. Blood did not spray. It gradually began to leak from the wound. Trestwyn bellowed with rage and stabbed her mother's corpse again and again. The dagger became coated in blood. It splattered against Seren's face and arms.

    A scream welled up in her throat. Seren hit the blue shields again and again. "How could she leave me?" She screamed. "How could he do that to her? How could he do that to me? Why wasn't I enough? Why was I never enough? Why was it my fault?" Azriel didn't speak anymore. His wings spread behind him as he continued to shield himself from her blows.

    "Get out of my sight, Girl!"

    The pressure in her chest was becoming unbearable. Seren smashed her fists against Azriel's shields, screaming with pain and fury. It wasn't enough. Flames sparked at her fingertips. She did what she had to, the only thing she knew to do. Seren unleashed herself and burned.