Third person pov

Sasuke couldn't believe it.

Itachi was actually in the nursing home.

He was playing poker with a bunch of old women, his expression the definition of concentrated. He looked serious, glancing between all the women suspiciously. They gazed at him the same way. Orochimaru and Sasuke both stared with glazed over eyes as Itachi stared down a small pod of elders. Sasuke wasn't sure if Itachi playing poker with a bunch of geezers was more terrifying than the fact that Orochimaru was right. The two things were neck and neck, honestly.

"This is the worst day of my life." Sasuke decided.

"I'm glad." Orochimaru sounded so sincere, Sasuke couldn't find it in himself to get mad at the creepy man.

~

Obito stared in horror at the pole before him. Two beefy men were guarding his only exit, and somehow the queers had found a way to prevent him from using any chakra. No chakra meant no kamui, and that meant no escaping! He was stuck in this hell for... well, he wasn't sure how long they were planning on keeping him here, really. He had tried plotting his escape, but they always seemed to know.

The man with the long blonde hair who'd been wearing the tight, red dress days before was now standing before him. He wore leather pants and a tube top, and heels that made him taller than even Obito. The Uchiha had honestly never felt so intimidated in his life.

"You're going to learn." He said. "Our technique."

"You want me to be a stripper?" Obito asked, rubbing the chakra cuff clamped around his wrist. The blonde man before him grinned.

"Absolutely, hunny."

~

Why Suna was under attack, Gaara did not know. But they were. Explosions rocked the streets, sending people running and screaming every which way. Momentarily, he thought it was Deidara. The explosive member of the Akatsuki had an affinity for blowing things up, and seemed to take an immense amount of joy in watching things go up in flames. Gaara could still remember the destruction the young man had rained down on Suna when retrieving Gaara for the one tails.

But it wasn't. It was too soon for Deidara to be in the Akatsuki, anyway. "This sucks." Rasa said, observing the village with keen eyes. Gaara stared blandly up at the man, unable to believe how unconcerned he was despite the fact that his village was being blown to smithereens. "Wonder who's doing it."

"I don't know. But I have a feeling we'll be finding out soon." Gaara said, and then he jumped off the roof.

"No, Gaara," Rasa wailed. "Suicide is never the answer!"

Gaara ignored him, his sand catching him and bringing him down softly. A woman ran past him screaming, not even seeming to notice him. He began in the direction she'd come from, spotting many people along the way. His eyes scanned the area for an enemy. He felt no hostile chakra, but his senses had definitely dulled since becoming a child once more.

His sand shot out and easily caught the top half of a crumbling building, successfully saving several people. They stared at him fearfully, but all he did was nod. It sent them running, wailing loudly as he gently brought the building down. Whoever was doing this wasn't around anymore. The explosives were planted, which had pasted in the past-- well, future. What mattered now was saving people.

And so he did, sand pulling innocents from buildings, and stopping rubble from crushing panicked bodies. They all stared at him in a mixture of fearful awe before rushing towards the center of the village, where everyone seemed to be gathering. Tendrils of sand carried injured through the air, out of range of any explosions.

Rasa was like a bloodhound, chasing a scent. He knew whoever did this was still around. He wasn't sure exactly where the culprit was, but he knew they were lurking about. He was absolutely determined to hunt them down and string them up by their balls. If they had balls... 

He trusted Gaara would save the villagers to the best of his ability. Rasa was more interested in stopping something like this from ever happening again. Saving these people would be useless if the whole thing just happened all over again and killed them. Rasa shook his head a little, pursing his lips. He was going to kick this criminal's ass with nothing but his heelies. Then they'd see who was laughing.

~

Shisui was staring at him when he woke up, but he hadn't crossed the line. At least, not to Hidan's knowledge. The ex-Jashinist tried not to think about it too much. If the Uchiha had snuck over, he hadn't touched him. The silver-haired man most definitely would have woken up to something like that.

They got going. Hidan could tell they were getting close. He didn't know how he could tell, but he could, and that was that. Shisui was still gazing up at him like he were some sort of god. Hidan really didn't know why the kid was viewing him in such a light. Honestly, he wasn't too terribly sure how to feel. 

"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" He asked as they walked. A part of him sort of wanted to sacrifice Shisui. At least then his wounds would heal up, and he'd be free of this starry-eyed brat. He always worked better alone anyway. Working with Kakuzu hadn't been an enjoyable part of his past, and he'd come to hate teamwork because of the man.

"Like what?" Shisui didn't seem fazed by his hostility.

"I don't fucking know! Your eyes are all... shiny or some shit." Hidan gestured towards him in an uncomfortable way. Shisui blinked at him as though his words were the most interesting thing in the world. "Stop."

"I can't help it." Shisui sighed happily. Hidan glared at him.

Fucking hell.

~

"I really don't think we're supposed to be outside the village." Shikamaru said. "This is a drag. I'm sure Itachi is inside the village."

"What if we went back in time again?" Naruto ignored Shikamaru's concern with relative ease. He'd always been a rebel, right? He'd just make up some half-asses excuse if they were caught. Blame it on the gate guards for letting them 'wander' out in the first place. It would surely work, and if not, they'd just start crying. Crying always worked.

"What would that do?" Shikamaru scoffed.

"Well, think about it. We fixed everything here, even if we didn't need to. Believe it." Naruto shrugged weakly. "What if we went back again? Fixed more?"

"You can't go back any farther. You can go back to when you were a baby, and that's the farthest. Try anymore and you'll cease to exist, and I'm not too confident I can get you back into your baby body to the exact day." Kurama grumbled.

"So, send Orochimaru or something." Naruto scoffed. 

"You want to put our future in the hands of Orochimaru?" Shikamaru was beginning to question the blonde's sanity. Something he should have done a long, long time ago.

"Kakashi?" Naruto tried. "I'm sure he'll only read porn part of the time."

"If we were going to send someone, I suppose Kakashi would be best..." Shikamaru trailed off, nose scrunching up. But what if Kakashi fucked it up? He had faith in Kakashi. The man could take almost anything at this point, and honestly hadn't seemed too terribly fazed by the whole time travel thing when it did happen. He was level headed, a pervert, and a past Hokage.

"I don't know. We could save my parents, and Obito. If we save Obito, nobody would even think of slaughtering the Uchiha clan!" Naruto exclaimed. 

"Well, we have to find Kakashi first." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Believe it!"