Third person pov

To say Minato Namikaze is horrified is a gross understatement. He'd barged in expecting... he wasn't super sure, actually, but not this! Kakashi was curled up in the fetal position and looked like he'd fallen out of his bed if the askew blankets were anything to go off of. He wasn't dressed in the least, his hair wild and not puffed up in its usual gravity-defying form. It was horrifying. Quite possibly the most terror-inducing thing Minato has ever seen in his entire goddamn life, and he's a man who has watched Kushina Uzumaki chug a bowl of ramen without gagging on the noodles even once.

"Kakashi!" He shrieked, and Kakashi gave another groan. Whether it was because his shrill voice hurt his sensitive ears or because he was in pain, Minato's wasn't sure. He was afraid to find out. "Oh my god, what happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you sick?" 

The blonde watched with no small amount of fear as Kakashi rolled over to face him, uncurling from his balled up form. His limbs stretched out with their own respective cracks, his movements languid like a cat's. Minato stood there searching him for some form of an injury. He felt severely out of his depth as his student smacked his lips obnoxiously behind his mask, not an ounce of his usual strict professionalism to be seen. His worry increased tenfold at the uncharacteristic behavior from the Hatake boy.

"You're a great actor. He's not suspicious at all." Kurama said in a light and airy tone that had sarcasm dripping from every word. "Look at him. Completely convinced."

"Good morning, sensei." Kakashi ignored Kurama completely and instead raised his hand in greeting, which made Minato look like he'd been struck. Would be hilarious if Kurama weren't so upset by the entire thing. What happened to the plan to like, act? You know, pretend he wasn't from the future? This was every flavor of fucked. That being said, the bar was extremely low and Kakashi was still plenty far from risking ducking beneath it. Naruto and his posse had really messed up. Like, honestly. What the fuck was that? It was so bizarre that anyone who heard the story would probably assume it was some sort of crack fanfiction or something, not reality.

"What happened to you?" Minato breathed out, mortified. Kakashi tried not to feel that offended. If only he had some Icha Icha to drown himself in. It would be better than dealing with whatever reality this was. He wondered if there was a way to bargain with God and get his porn back. God could do that, right? The ability to summon books that hadn't been written yet fell under his almighty powers?

"I'm perfectly fine." Kakashi assured in a fairly-neutral tone, and Minato somehow didn't look convinced. Kakashi couldn't fathom why. "What brings you to my quaint little apartment this morning, Sensei?" 

"Literally anyone would've been better at this than you." Kurama seemed to decide. He was ignored again, but he kept talking anyway. If Kakashi wanted to fuck shit up he was sure as hell going to comment on it. He would've done the same with Naruto if he'd thought the brat would listen. He had hoped Kakashi had more sense, but he's seeing now that it may be a lost cause. Perhaps a long nap is in order. "Even Naruto held onto that weird cantaloupe shit longer than this. You didn't even last two seconds. Fuck, you didn't even try. Where's the effort, Hatake? They sort of put all their faith in you."

"You're- you're late! You're never late, and now you're-- are you running a fever? You must be running a fever." Minato shook his head and swept forward, snapping from his daze and beginning to think about this from a logical standpoint. This is undoubtedly Kakashi. His chakra is just as Kakashi-ish as it was the day before and that isn't something one can replicate. He'd have sensed if it was a genjutsu, right? Genjutsu typically isn't this... weird anyway. If it were a genjutsu wouldn't they have shown Kakashi being dead? God, what if it's a transformation? Is this a body double? It can't possibly be, can it?

Kakashi let himself get hauled to his feet, standing there idly whilst Minato poked and prodded at his face and squeezed his shoulders as though that were going to tell him jack shit about his health. Ugh. He should probably start acting more like a douchebag. It could be fun, couldn't it? He could act like his younger self and then randomly slip in these oddly cheerful comments before reverting back just to freak people out. Free entertainment, and he got to save the world from being absolutely decimated on the side. 

"Um, no. The entertainment part is the thing on the side. Preventing decimation should be front and center, you jar of unrefrigerated pickle juice." Kurama scoffed at him. "I'm starting to wonder if Naruto was actually smarter than I gave him credit for. At least he'd be trying. Instead you're just standing there like one of those cardboard cutouts from Hot Topic." 

"How do you know what Hot Topic is?" Kakashi found himself wondering out loud, and Minato jumped a little.

"Sasuke." Kurama said as though that explained everything. And yeah, Kakashi supposed it kind of did. "Plus one of the brat's disgusting little toad summons wanted to go and get a Panic! At The Disco shirt. The thing was pretty damn mad when he found out they didn't make his size. I'm pretty sure Naruto's banned from there now."

"Wasn't that singer cancelled?" Kakashi questioned. Minato looked even more distressed, muttering things like 'mania' and 'talking to self' and 'hospital'. Really nothing to be worried about. Kakashi looked down at his imaginary watch. Yep, he had nowhere to be right now. Obito would still be there after this pleasant conversation, right? Though he was going to have to come up with something to explain the fox in his stomach. It was only matter of time before he noticed that Kakashi had become a jinchuuriki. Kakashi wondered if he could blame it on puberty. 

"Does that sound like something I'd know?" Kurama seemed offended. What is he, a Brendon Urie expert? 

"Yes?" Kakashi raised a brow. Minato made an inhumane noise you'd expect to hear from a distressed pigeon. Or maybe it was more of a train whistle sound. Kakashi really isn't sure. All he knows is that he's too afraid to walk right now. His body is small and he isn't used to that, so he knows he's going to eat absolute shit if he dares take a step.

Minato, on the other side of things, truly didn't understand. Something had to have happened. He'd found Kakashi curled up, possibly in pain on the ground. Now someone had taken a jackhammer to his personality and fractured it and he was talking to the air about panic and discos, and by god if that wasn't concerning, the demeanor switch sure was. Slouching posture, light tone of voice, slack expression. He was completely and totally out of it! Was this a dormant schizophrenia moment? Was that a thing? He'd have read a psychology textbook if he'd seen this coming! Perhaps it was a concussion. He could've hit his head. 

"That's it! We're going to the hospital!" Minato announced with an astounding amount of flourish considering the situation. Kakashi blinked languidly at him.

"You dumb fuck. You're really going to need to tense up a little unless you want us both imprisoned in some underground torture chamber while they try to figure out what the fuck happened to you." Kurama hissed at him. Kakashi decided that it was best for Minato's sanity that he not deign the creature with a response. What can he say? He's a thoughtful guy.

Minato swept forward like an agent of death before Kakashi could even begin to contemplate looking for his shoes, sweeping him up and cradling him like a baby. His eyes immediately rounded in surprise, his body going still in absolute horror. Kurama let out a howling string of cackles that made him wish he could bring the fox out for a moment just to sock him in his furry little face. How did Naruto deal with this ass and not gain some sort of crippling depression? The blonde's motivation and overall willpower had to be the only thing that actually kept him going through all this unrestrained snark. 

"You're going to be okay. It's going to be okay, Kakashi." Minato kicked his ruined door right back open. Kakashi isn't paying for that, and if he is, he's fixing the hole with ramen. Naruto showed him how once. Not sure how he knew, actually-- maybe it was an orphan thing. No, wait. He was also an orphan. Probably just a Naruto being weird about his favorite noodle thing then. "You can tell me what happened. You don't have to worry!"

"Please put me down." He requested in his most stoic voice. Minato beamed at him and ignored his request entirely, taking off at a disgustingly high speed. It normally wouldn't have bothered Kakashi, but being in this tiny body was disorienting enough and nausea immediately began to bubble in the pit of his stomach. Kurama's absolute shrieking laughter wasn't helping. Apparently him being held in a princess carry was the funniest shit he'd seen all day. Clearly the highlight of his week. 

Minato was going to assume that this was a concussion for his own sanity. Kakashi seemed a little more normal now, giving him a very unamused look as they sped across rooftops. He would've used his Hirashin were he not so afraid it would discombobulate his cute little student further. Was this one of those situations where he'd come in and out of his moments of mania? His personality seemed to have shifted back to what it was before-- the adorably grumpy persona that Minato'd always known to be Kakashi Hatake. It was a small comfort to know that part of him was still tucked away in there somewhere, but the brisk events from earlier left him terrified.

Kakashi simply didn't act like that. Kakashi was always consistent, and he had been for as long as Minato had known him. Even when Sakumo was alive he was distant and a little brash. Harsh in his own way-- even rude in some instances. He'd never seen his student curled up in pain like that, and the nonchalance Minato had found directed at him had sent him spiraling into a wispy panic. Kakashi had to be sick. He had to have gotten injured, or put in a genjutsu, or something like that. Was he attacked? Had he been practicing a jutsu and had it backfire on himself? Was this just a routine fever and he was overreacting? There were too many variables! 

"You know, all this could've been avoided if you'd listened to me." Kurama said in a huffy tone. Kakashi would've replied with some unrestrained sass if he weren't so sure it would send his sensei into full on cardiac arrest. Kakashi was resigned. He'd pushed his luck... actually a very short amount, but apparently even that much was too much for Minato-sensei to handle. "You need to take this shit more seriously. I didn't leave that blond brat for nothing, after all. Don't disillusion yourself into thinking I actually want to be here."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the dramatics. Yeah, yeah. Pardon him for not shoving a stick up his ass. He just... that was a part of himself he'd left behind ages ago. It was shameful, and the way he'd treated his peers was unacceptable. He'd learned over the years that nothing was to be gained from shutting people out in such a cold manner. This whole time travel thing was so surreal he honestly wasn't sure it was happening. He'd had a fever dream remarkable similar to this after trying Sakura's cooking. The food poisoning had almost taken him out. Sometimes he still wished it had. 

He didn't feel adequate enough to do this job. Was there a manual for this? Morally, was it okay for him to be an ass? He wasn't sure he had the willpower to act like an ass and then slowly go through some fake character development until he was himself again. Patience was his forte in most cases, but not in this one. This was all just... honestly, he wasn't even sure how to describe it. It was all just unbelievable. Straight sci-fi novel material, and Kakashi really isn't into those. He prefers erotic fiction, thank you very much.

"Oh my fucking god. Weren't you literally Hokage or something? Just like, do it or whatever." Kurama waved a paw. Wow, how helpful of him. Kakashi pressed his lips together beneath his mask and took a deep breath in through his nose. Alright. Future-saving mindset. He had to get into that. Couldn't he get into that mindset and still be himself? That was too tall an order for someone as short as him. How many inches of height had he sacrificed for this? He hadn't looked but he was sure Kakashi Jr. downstairs had also shrunk. A true travesty.

"Stop thinking about your penis." Kurama groused. Was complaining his only ability? "I'm sorry. Is complaining the only skill of a several-centuries old chakra beast? Did you really just ask that?"

Kakashi wants to argue that it's his penis and he gets to think about it whenever he wants, thank you very much, but he's cut off before he gets the chance. They arrive at the hospital with way, way too much gusto. Minato is bursting through the swinging doors so hard the glass almost shatters. You would've thought Kakashi was dying or something. He is in fact not doing that. Again, sort of wishes he would, but he's got this nasty habit of somehow managing to get out of literally any situation alive. 

"Help! It's an emergency!" Minato boomed unnecessarily. God, he felt like he was in the middle of a reality TV show. This was too much for him. It would be far more amusing if he were an outsider looking into the situation instead. Definitely a scenario he'd need popcorn to witness. But alas, life is oftentimes not on his side. He watched nurses and a few doctors flood out like bees ready to defend the hive, eyes alert and startled. It wasn't everyday the Yellow Flash came crashing through the door like a human canon ball screaming his head off, after all.

"What happened?" A stoic woman asked in all seriousness. Kakashi resisted the urge to laugh. He's acting now. He can take things seriously. He's a very serious person. Severely underqualified for this impossible job, but how hard can it possibly be? Surely no harder than teaching Naruto was. God, trying to get information into that boy was like trying to shove an entire watermelon down a garbage disposal. Super satisfying once you actually did it, but nearly impossible up until the melon exploded from pressure.

"I'm not sure." Minato rushed the words out, his fear evident. "He didn't show up to training so I ran to his apartment to look for him. I found him curled up on the floor in pain and he seems unable to move. He's also acting really, really weird. He seems to slip in and out of this-- this different personality! I-I think he may've hit his head or something. He was talking to himself, o-or maybe someone who wasn't there? Talking about panic, and discos of all things!"

Kakashi could totally run with the concussion thing, couldn't he? Wait, no. He'd have to have a head wound for that. Plus there was the whole Kurama ordeal. They were sure to notice sooner or later that he had a massive foreign chakra signature embedded right underneath his own. Were Minato-sensei not so freaked out he probably would've picked up on it already. Looks like a lie is in order. He wondered if stealing Naruto's cantaloupe thing would work out. Kakashi never really heard the full story but surely Kurama knows it.

"Good god. Look what you did." Kurama groaned. "This is a total shit show. You better fix this."

"Why do I have to fix it? Aren't we in this together?" Kakashi complained out loud. Minato made a sound eerily similar to the one Naruto had made when Kakashi walked in on him making out with Sasuke drunkenly that one time. As in, one that was several pitches higher than you'd expect from a man. Did Naruto even remember that happening? Did Sasuke? They'd both been absolutely hammered. Kakashi is pretty sure Sakura has photos somewhere... had... man, he should've gotten a copy. Could've asked god to give them to him when he came back.

"I fucking hate you." Kurama sighed. Kakashi shrugged. Minato gazed down at him like he was terrified. Kakashi, for the record, did resist the urge to arch a brow at him. Again, he didn't want his sensei falling into cardiac arrest. That would be a total dent in the save the future plan, right? Considering he was a part of the future he wanted to save, probably. 

"I see what you mean." The doctor said grimly. Kakashi squinted as a light was shone in one of his eyes. It was then shone in the other. "Pupils are behaving naturally but his chakra pathways feel abnormal. I'm suspecting some sort of tampering-- genjutsu, perhaps. Bring him back and we'll take a look. Don't worry, Namikaze-san. We'll get to the bottom of this."

Kakashi let Minato-sensei carry him through the large double doors that would lead them further into the hospital and frowned to himself contemplatively. He needed to come up with a cover story, preferably right now. And a convincing one too. Kakashi is an avid reader of some of the greatest literary works of all time. Surely he can come up with something.

"Oh, no." Kurama said solemnly. And yeah, Kakashi really didn't have the grounds to disagree.