Incase you haven’t noticed, reader, I don’t exactly enjoy dealing with emotions, feelings or anything  along those lines really. The same goes for the more ‘pointy’ sensations inside your chest like pain, hurt and especially fear. I hated fear perhaps even more than I hated water and for the most part I had been able to avoid it. So far.

In all reality I should have seen it coming, in every Hunger Games I’d ever watched there was always a occurrence of some type that was constructed to strike the tribute where it would shake them the most: Their greatest fear.

This time it came in the form of a purple cloud of death.

Maisy and I didn’t see it creeping up on us from behind as we sat on the lip of the volcano staring up at the anthem that played in the sky. Maisy was tearing up as she brushed the tears from her eyes. “How many is that? How many innocent lives have been lost?” She asked sadly, her voice barely above a whisper.

I didn’t even have to think about it. I already knew. I made a long drawn out act of thinking though, not wanting Maisy to know I had been thinking about it. I’m not quite sure why I didn't want her knowing, maybe on some level I was starting to consider her a threat (though I have no idea why I would…. she’s so…. ‘fluffy’.) or perhaps I just felt uncomfortable with her knowing how incredibly obsessive I could be. After all… I had been supposed to kill her today….

I know what you are thinking- no. I was not procrastinating on that, even though it seems that way. I was just waiting on the right moment to make my move…. and the moment hadn’t come up in the past 24 hours. You can hardly blame me for that…. Its the gamemaker’s fault.

Speaking of the devil, the second the 11 boy’s pale blue eyes faded into the starry night sky a new face appeared. I jumped at the sight of it, it looked like the offspring of Satan and a toad that had really nice hair- oh no wait. False alarm. It was just Brielle.

“Oh hello dears….” She purred. I resisted the urge to curl my lip in disgust. I smirked as a sudden thought hit me; my mother had told me that all my years of playing poker had never paid off. Look at me now mom, you can hardly tell that my eyes are on the verge of bleeding! “I see you’ve spotted the fog, I thought you looked a little tired and could use some sleep.”

Wait- fog? I sat up in startlement as I crained my neck around just in time to see a violet haze curling up the lip of the mountain. I took in a sharp breath, the fog coated the entire arena. There was nowhere to run. That logic didn’t stop me from trying though, I forced myself to my feet and stumbled forward breaking into a sprint as the fog engulfed Maisy behind me.

Suddenly my boot caught on a large outcropping of rock, it sent me tumbling forward head over heels. My body crashed into the rocky ground, I barely processed the aching jolt that riveted through my body on contact though. The only thing on my mind was getting the hell away from the purple fog, pushing myself upwards I realized in horror that it had already caught up to the. The haze swirled around me like ghosts- or at least what I imagined ghosts might be like. I mean I’d actually never seen a ghost.

“Now, don’t feel too safe, darlings. Nothing is quite as it seems.”  Brielle’s voice drifted ominously from above.

I choked on the sarcastic laugh that erupted from my chest. “Definitely no worries about feeling safe.” I muttered pushing myself upwards and breaking into another sprint with a renewed energy, my feet pounding on the ground rhythmically as my eyes scanned the haze for any sign of a break in the fog.

That was when the ground gave way from under me and I felt myself tumbling down the side of the volcano’s crater. My stomach flew into my chest as I flailed my arms groping for something- anything that could stop my fall. My body banged against an jagged outcropping of rock, I groped for it with my hands as my body continued it’s fall.

To my genuine surprise something actually went right. I hung limply underneath the rock that my fingernails dug into painfully, they slowly were slipping backwards from my wieght, leaving a trail of blood in their wake.

I glanced downward over my shoulder… maybe the rocky base of the volcano wasn’t far enough away that if I let go I would definitely end up like a pancake? Who was I kidding? With my luck I was probably suspended over one of the few slim cracks of lava that shifted beneath the otherwise rocky ground.

To my utter surprise and terror I found that below me swirled a vortex of black water that reached forward me in the form of white capped waves, as if they were beckoning me to come and swim. Yeah- I think not. I shook my head looking back towards the lip of the volcano trying to make sense of this all. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I looked up meet eyes with what awaited me.

A human for was suspended above me from a rope extending his or her hand towards me. “Ransom! Take my hand. Trust me I’ll get you out of here!” My heart pounded against my ribs as I squinted at the person above me. Even though it was bright out I had no idea who I was looking at. The face seemed to shift from the blonde curls of Maisy to the blue eyes of my sister, Sarve, to several of my former employers from the hob. “Trust me.” They repeated sending chills down my spine.

I felt a wave of sickness wash over me as fear pounded against my head like a hammer. This wasn’t right. I had never felt this terrified in my life at the prospect of trusting someone to pull me up a cliff. I realized my hands were shaking at the stress of the decision before me.

My fingernails suddenly shifted backward a few inches, I tightened my grip, my muscle’s protest sending waves of agony radiating from my fingers branching to every corner of my body. I felt a little whimper escape my throat as I looked up at the figure above me. I had no idea why they scared me so much, I didn’t like the prospect of putting my life in the hands of someone else in fact it suddenly terrified me more than death itself.

“Quick. Ransom, you’re slipping! Just take my hand!” The person above me cried anxiously.

I was stuck between two rocks and I had to decide which rock was bigger.

I shook my head very slowly, staring at the ever changing face that had seemed to settle on Maisy. Dread squeezed my throat as if it was trying to strangle me as I decided my fate. “No. I don’t want your help. I don’t want anyone’s help.” I choked out releasing my fingers from the rock.

I hit the water hard, it swallowed me whole. I watched the dark liquid close over my head sealing me off from the rest of the world. Terror radiated through me like an infectious disease that took over my body. I swiped through the strangely warm water trying desperately to propel myself upwards but it was like I was trying to make a fire from wet wood; I got nowhere. The water seemed to have grasped me, yanking me downwards and no matter what I did there was no hope. But when was there ever? My lungs screamed for air, squeezing my chest as I drifted further and further from the surface. I couldn’t though. I wasn’t drying this easily, instead I struggled harder. This was like one of those bad dreams when you are running for your life but you get absolutely nowhere.

That was only when the memory of Brielle’s voice drifted to my ears, ‘Nothing is quite as it seems.’  Suddenly everything made sense, all the pieces of this confusing terror snapped into place. This wasn’t real. The gas must have been some type of hallucinatory gas causing my brain to see water where there was none and to create a human where there was none.

And I was suffocating myself by not breathing. The thought that this was all real and just another bizarre challenge that the gamemakers thought up and that when I breathed my lungs would only fill with water tickled the back of my mind as black dots started to speckle my vision.

I knew I had to try.I let out the breath of air all of the bubbles raced to the surface of the water as I paused for a second, absolutely petrified to drown. This was it.

I sucked in.

Stale hot air flooded my lungs as the water around me melted away as if on cue, replaced with the rough, rocky ground of the crater of the volcano. A stream of lava flowed a few inches from my head. I looked upwards and saw the wall of the volcano towering above me, I must have actually fallen I realized glance at my dusty but blood covered hands. I believed it too, every nerve in me felt as though a giant tree had fallen on it. Especially my head… my head ached very badly. I tried to sit up but it felt as if a thousand rocks were strapped to the bottom of my head. Yeah I wasn’t going anywhere fast.

I forced myself to roll onto my stomach and very slowly I began to painstakingly drag myself behind the shelter of a large bolder. I didn’t see Maisy anywhere…. I assumed she was still somewhere on the lip of the volcano but honestly I knew she could be anywhere. Even dead.

The thought made me surprisingly sad even though I had no idea why. At least now I wouldn’t have to kill her…. My headache had increased, feeling as though someone had driven a thousand knives into the back of my eyes. I pinched them shut wishing I had water with me. I didn’t though so there was no use thinking about it. It wasn’t like I was in any shape to go looking for it either so I just settled on closing my eyes and trying not to think about why the prospect of trusting someone had scared me so much that I would rather drown.

Sometimes I was the most confusing person I knew. I really wished I made more sense.