I was distracted. I was never distracted. It was not good to be distracted. I pinched my brow in irritation as I sat in the silence of night time in the arena. Everything was going so perfectly, I was the queen of the arena and only a few had even begun to question my true nature.

I remembered the knowing look Eden had given me earlier and made a mental note to kill him. And then there was Tyber who also knew, he too would have to perish soon…. unless I decided to reveal myself, then he might prove to be an asset.

That wasn’t what was troubling me though, no, it was far more grave than that. In fact it was so grave I shouldn’t even be contemplating it, but here I was, lying awake losing sleep over it. Me, the girl who could kill a full grown man with one hand behind my back and a smile on my face was disturbed- perhaps even envious of others for it-  as to why she felt absolutely nothing beyond irritation.

I’d heard others gossip of love and feelings of sadness and pain before, but I had never actually thought about them beyond writing them off as weakness. After seeing allies- if you could even call them that, in all honesty I thought of them more as my minions to be disposed of when they became useless- in so much emotional agony by simple voices I started thinking more and more about my lack of them. What made me different from just about every other person on the planet. I looked down at my chest, I wondered if I was missing something. It was very a depressing line of thought.

If only I could question someone freely about them…. I looked over at Tyber’s sleeping form and shuddered. This was my only real option…. He already knew my true nature and I had him in the palm of my hand. Besides I could always kill him afterward- actually that was exactly what I was going to do. I smiled rolling to my feet and jumping silently around the sleeping bodies of my comrades, unable to stop myself from contemplating how easy it would be able to kill them all right now.

My eyes darted to the slumped over body of Fuse. She had been supposed to have been keeping watch but it appears she had given into the temptation of slumber. Wonderful, I’d pin the death of Tyber on her.

I reached his dimply lit figure and leaned over him, taking a second to study him. His ash blonde hair was swept over his closed eyes and a slight cover of dust darkened his already tanned skin. I honestly couldn’t believe that this was most females definition of attractive, he looked like an albino ape to me.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face, I reached forward and lightly brushed the hair from his eyes before kicking him hard in the ribs. His eyes shot open as he sat bolt right, I clamped my hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming like the prepubescent girl he is at heart.  “Shhhh! Don’t do the screaming noise!” I whispered adopting my giggly voice.

Tyber looked over at me his blue eyes were wide. “Oh.” He said as I gently moved my hand from his mouth. “Hey beautiful. If you were anyone else I’d have probably killed you by now, I don’t like being woken up.” He whispered arrogantly, flipping his hair that had fallen back in his eyes to the side.

I stared at him trying to keep the glare from my eyes, trust me sweetie, if you tried to kill me you wouldn’t get very far. I reached forward and ran my finger along his sharp jaw while curling a hair on my finger with the other hand, “Tyber. I want to make babies with you.” I whispered dumbly. “They will be evil babies.”

His face flushed red, even in the dim light of the artificial moon I could see it. I didn’t dare look at his lower hemisphere because I’m pretty sure I could guess what that looked like right now as well. “Well- Well you know thats a privilege given to few.” He looked away in an attempt to play hard to get. His attempt was laughable. Actually his statement had been laughable. What was his definition of ‘few’? The entirety of District 1?

I couldn’t resist being a bitch. I stood up tucking a strand of honey blonde hair behind my ear, “Oh. I get it.” I turned around and began walking away, I could hear Tyber kick himself out of his blankets frantically and stumble over to me. I eyed my allies nervously praying they wouldn’t wake up.

“No!” His hand grasped my shoulder, “Erm, I mean no. I’m saying you're one of the privileged few.” He gasped frantically with a goofy smile on his face. “I’d be honored to… ‘make babies’ with you. Lets just go somewhere no one can see?” With the exception of the entirety of Panem, but thats basically no one, right moron?

I nodded biting my tongue to keep from gagging, at the image that passed through my mind. I decided to focus on the fact he was making this just too easy for me. The thought made me smile pleasantly. Tyber didn’t even stop to grab a weapon.  I watched him stick his hands in his pockets stiffly in an attempt to be casual as  the career pack faded behind us and we were alone in the dark streets of Rome. Of course we’d need to get far enough away from the pack so that they couldn’t hear us scream, we both knew that, though the types of screams we were anticipating were very different.

I imagined Tyber screaming as he died in a pool of his own blood, I wondered how I’d do it. I tilted my head towards him and looked him up and down, he was a good specimen of the male species. Perhaps I’d simply dissect him? No, too simple. I wondered if it was possible to rip the bones from his body while he was still alive? I think the tendons would be too tightly attached… I could always skin him though.

“Okay….” Tyber said stopping suddenly, we stood in a narrow dark alleyway typical to those of ancient Rome. “I think we are far enough away.” He said turning to face me, I tried to meet his eyes but he just looked down biting his lip.

“Tyber?” I cooed, “I just remembered something.” I said slipping my hand into my leather jacket that was lined with knives.

I looked up at me with genuine concern, “What?” He asked simply, furrowing his brow.

“I hate your guts.” I grunted punching him in the jaw with all the force in my body, he cried out stumbling backward clutching his jaw. I ran at him barely giving him time to recover sending a kick into his guts. He hit the ground and I threw myself on him, straddling his chest and pressing a knife to his neck.

His facial expression could only be described as strangled as he stared up at me, “This means we are having sex?” He choked as I pressed the knife deeper into his skin so a few small bubbles of blood poked through the skin.

I shook my head, “Stupid boy. We were never going to have sex in the first place, however I do want something from you. Thank you for being so cooperative in coming here, by the way. It made my task a lot easier.” I said coldly letting my fake persona fall from me so my true colors could emerge. It felt so good to be free.

He nodded gritting his teeth, “So I never had a chance with you?” He asked, his eyes getting a watery glaze that covered frustration and betrayal that swirled within.

I let out a snort enjoying his anguish, “No one does. Thats part of the reason I wanted to talk to you, though. You know before I kill you.” I added. “I lack something that most people have. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but lately it’s had me curious. Tell me Tyber, what is it like to feel things?”

He gave me a very peculiar look, “I’m sorry? You mean like you can feel physical stuff? Like sex? Is that why you don’t want to have it with me?” He asked dumbly. I really wanted to impale him with something sharp. Tyber couldn’t get past the idea of sex, which probably took up the majority of the masculine mind. Men needed to learn they had a secondary brain thats in their scalp that works a lot better than the one between their legs, maybe then I could tolerate them enough to get into a relationship with one.

I pressed the knife deeper into his neck and leaned forward until my face was inches from his face, “No you simpleton. This has nothing to do with sex, so get that out of your mind. I mean emotions. What are they like?” I growled, my eyes boring into him.

“You mean you’re a sociopath?” He asked a little startlement entering his eyes. Then he cracked a grin. “That is so hot.”

I looked away staring at the large cracks in the stone wall, then I looked back. He was a very troubled person. “That wasn’t the question. What is it like to feel something beyond irritating at imbeciles like you?”

He nodded his head and stared at me, quite apparently thinking. (Who knew he was capable of such things.) Finally he spoke, “Lets start with love. Love is the most powerful of all the feelings, it is the downfall of many because they can’t resist it, like I can’t resist you Phae. It is this flutter in your chest followed by this deep longing that floods your brain bombarding you with thoughts of the person you love. It makes you happy, but it can also hurt when the feeling is not shared….” He looked at me hopefully for a second but I gave him nothing. “Its basically great. You should try it. Maybe if you tried to love me it might bring out some feelings in you.”

I knew it was a ploy to attempt to get me off him so he could attempt to kill me, I shook my head. This had gotten me nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. At least I’d enjoy killing him now all the more.

Well I would have if what happened next had not gone down, I had absolutely no explanation for it either, one second I was sitting in the ruins of Rome the next the buildings around me collapsed into sand, ripping past my face at a thousand miles per hour, the grains ripping into my skin like a thousand little daggers. It knocked me free of Tyber and sent me tumbling head over heels through the now barren arena. I caught myself and braced my body against the wind trying not to breathe in the sand.

And then as suddenly as it had happened it stopped, I slowly raised my head and looked around blinking. My eyes stung from the sand, most of which was still airborne, clouding my vision. Shakily I got to my feet. “Phae! Phae are you okay?” Tyber’s voice drifted from somewhere nearby.

I remained silent, did he think I was an idiot? I wasn’t giving my position away so easily. Then I saw his dark silhouette emerge from the thick clouds of sand. He ran over toward me, I got to my feet and watched his features quickly become more visible. At the last second I sent my foot barreling into his balls, he toppled over. I ripped a knife from my jacket and I raised it preparing to send it into his chest when the earth suddenly grabbed my foot.

I swear that it what happened, I am not crazy, I am not high but the earth itself grabbed my foot yanking my backward and tugging me into the sand. The ground had been solid a second ago! I cried out as the sand pulled me to my waist, I jabbed it with my knife irrationally which did nothing because obviously you can't kill dirt.

I saw Tyber reach out his hand to help me, “What the hell? You man-bitch, you don’t offer to help someone whos trying to kill you!” I screamed, sweat collecting on my forehead. “Besides! I can save myself!” I growled as the sand reached my neck.

Tyber lunged for my hand, “You do when you love them!” He cried out as our fingers brushed a second before the earth swallowed me whole. And as the earth cradled me in its cold arms I found myself disappointed that this was where it ended, that I would never go on to take over Panem and- no thats it. I wanted to takeover the world and rule it in my name but now I wouldn’t get the chance. I also was confused as I remembered Tyber’s actions. I didn’t want to die confused.

However I didn’t die.

I felt my lungs give up at trying to hold myself from breathing dirt, I opened my mouth to breath expecting to get a mouthful of dirt. Surprisingly cool air flooded my lungs. This didn’t make sense, I hadn’t fallen into some bizarre underground cavern because I felt my body still covered with layers of dirt.

I hesitantly opened my eyes to find that I could see the entire arena from the angle of looking up….. I saw the career pack on their feet as Tyber was shaking his head and speaking. Probably telling them I was dead. I couldn't hear them though. This was the strangest thing that ever happened to me. Was I dead? Was this what it was like to be dead?

I watched Ula wave him off as if it was nothing. I silently vowed to kill that skinny bitch. She smiled and suddenly I watched her begin to grow, ten, twenty, thirty feet. Then Nixie grinned and coaxed a plant from the ground. I felt a twinge in on my skin like someone was plucking a hair. Nixie then thrust her hands forward and the vine shot around Eden’s feet like a lasso tugging him off of his feet. Surprisingly I felt a slight bump of my chest. Eden jumped to his feet with a furious expression on his face, a huge sword materializing in his hand. Something was up.

My eyes moved to other sections of the arena they fell on the male from 6, Rex I believe. (A name like Rex is hard to forget as it sounds like something a snot-nosed child would have his dog.) His entire body enveloped in fire without warning, he cried out and then willed it out as quickly as it came. He laughed in amazement.

The peculiar boy from 8 likewise had sprouted wings and clutched a bow in his hands. He was turning it in confusion. Surprisingly I wasn’t much less confused. I furrowed my brow, my heart jumped into, my throat as I watched a huge rift shift through the sand in the most northern hemisphere of the arena.

It was only then that everything made sense. The gamemaker had infused us with the powers of the Roman gods, my studies on the culture flooded my brain, and I was the titan queen Gaia. I was the mother of all these puny gods, I am the earth, I am unstoppable. I let out a shrill laughter and to my satisfaction my voice echoed throughout the arena bouncing off of its four corners. “I, Phaedra Wolfgang, condemn you all to death.” I said a smile ripping across my face.

I looked at the insignificant boy from 6 looking up at the sky dumbfounded. “Fool! I’m down here!” I laughed spreading my arm and creating a crevice in the earth. He opened his mouth in a scream as he fell downwards, at the last second I closed my arm catching his puny body in the closing crevice with only his head poking free. I started to close the rocks completely starting with his feet, squeezing his innards upward one rock at a time like he was a tube of tooth paste. With one final satisfactory silent scream, the boy’s head exploded, his blood and guts spewing everywhere. I panted, moving the earth had felt like moving water, my arm ached from the effort. I didn’t care though, the thrill of my newfound power infected me like a virus. It was beautiful. This was more than my dreams of being queen. I was a god.

I laughed looking for the others who were not careers, suddenly I felt an explosion of pain in my knee, I recoiled drawing my knee to my chest sharply. A huge cliff exploded from the earth sending the boy from 9, who had stabbed me with his sword soaring through the air. I watched him fly, his features stricken with terror and his limb flailing as if he were no more than an insect. And like a fly into a trap he barreled into the forcefield, a huge burst of electricity engulfed him, he opened his mouth and let out what I assumed to be a shriek as it electrocuted him, frying his skin. After a second his charred corpse fell to the ground.   

I paused for a second, my mind wheeling. So I could get hurt…. this meant I could also be killed if I was stabbed in the equivalent of a vital. I took one last look at the corpse of the boy who had tried to defy me. I opened a chasm swallowing him whole, I didn’t want his family to have the pleasure of burying him. He would decompose here in this hellhole.

I had to find a way to protect myself. If I could open chasms and create cliffs I wondered if I could cover myself with impenetrable slate rocks as armor.… I silently willed huge slated rocks to cover my chest, my felt them spread across the surface of the ground with a slight tickle to my skin. The effect was devastating though, I felt drained. Everything felt as if it was being crushed by a huge overhead weight. I grimaced, I knew the gammakers wouldn’t let me stay like this forever. I had to make the most of my time like this.

On the surface I saw that my allies had managed to corner the boy from 8. Nixie said something, probably along the lines of ‘let me have him’ as she struggled to coax the plants from the ground, I closed my eyes summoning the strength from within and willing her plants to move faster. I watched them shoot around the boy’s neck, swirling around him like a cocoon. I felt Nixie will them to squeeze him, tighter and tighter. She only stopped once she saw the blood leaking from the gaps in the vines. My Nixie aren’t you ferocious tonight?

I felt myself dying- not literally of course. I consider myself moderately unkillable. But more in the non-literal sense. I felt myself on the verge of collapse, my focus was dying, my will was dying, however I had one more non-career to kill before I could let myself collapse. The boy from 5. I saw him crouched behind a bolder trying to take cover. I smiled as I willed a rose bush to spring from the ground the thorns wrapped around his skin digging into his pale flesh. He cried out trying to pull away however I just pulled them tighter strapping him to the ground. I willed a long strand of thorns to hover in front of him, like a snake. He opened his mouth to cry out something again and I sent the thorn branch shooting down his throat, ripping the weak tissue of his esophagus. Blood poured from the corners of his mouth as I rashly pulled the vine out again, then shoved it back in like I was cleaning a gun. His eyes were disks as bloodied tears ran down his face.

I sent the vine barreling into one of his lungs, popping it. The boy’s body jerked as his ability to breathe lessened, huge spurts of blood leaked from all of his cavities. It was really a shame how fast this was killing him, I had wanted to play with him longer. I knew how I wanted to end him though, I recoiled the thorny vine back until his mouth ands then send it up his nasal cavity. His eyes widened one final time, as I wrapped the thorny bush around his brain.

I let go, breathing heavily, I felt the corners of my vision dimming rapidly. The earth shook with every breath I took, I wondered if the other careers knew that they were the last ones left. I wondered if they were splitting as we spoke. I could no longer see. I wished I had the energy in me to kill them off, the frustration I felt overwhelmed me. I could be victor right now if I just had a little more energy. I was so close, I could….

I lost consciousness, the blackness of the earth taking me over.