There is nothing worse than being a few steps away from your dreams and having the person that inspired your dreams tell you that you are wrong, that you’d become a monster. Pain stabbed at my chest as hot tears slipped from my eyes as I cried, feeling as lost and desolate as the empty souls that surrounded me in the Fields of Asphodel. I knew she was right; I was a monster but I thought I’d become one for the right reasons. It is impossible to save the world without letting your morale slip, without turning it off completely. You can’t beat a man with a gun unless you brought a bigger one; or so I thought- was I wrong? Suddenly I had no clue.

I shook my head and looked up, about to ask Dimitra, only to see she was gone. “Dammit!” I screamed kicking a chunk of dirt up from the hard ground. “Why the hell would you say that and just leave me here? Why would you leave me alone again?!” I stopped and felt tears brim in my eyes once again. “Why would you leave me alone in the first place?”

I closed my eyes and looked down, staring at the dry crusted earth below my feet. I took a deep breath, it was time to be strong- whatever that meant. In reality who decided what was strong and what was weak? Who decided what was right and what was wrong? In the end weren’t they just meager human presumptions trying to grasp concepts that could never existed in the first place?

I started walking through the grey souls that floated around me, knowing no future and no past. I looked to the path that was just faintly visible through the grey spirits. I forced my way through them feeling numb. A splash of color caught my eye and I turned in startlement to see a blonde head of hair facedown on the ground; Nixie. And she very was dead. I felt the depressed weight in my chest tug a little more, it had to happen though.

My eyes focused on her back from which a knife protruded….. Someone was had hunted her and killed her and chances were that they were hunting me as well. The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I slowly turned in a circle watching for glimmer of color or a flash of movement.

Suddenly the souls that swayed lifelessly around me took on a reflectiveness, my face peered back at me from the rumples of a dead man's shirt, a women's tall hat and an expensive coat that wrapped the soul of a teenage girl. Vainly I noticed that my hair was snarled and still damp from my swim the River Styx…. Thats right. I was physically invulnerable. A coy smile stretched across my lips as I saw a dozen souls flicker with the reflection of a boy with dark hair and mud spattered skin; Jaiden.

It had been smart; trying to take us out while we were distracted in a field of murky souls. The stakes had changed though. The gamemakers wanted us to play a game of smoke and mirrors and now I knew he was here. “I see you.” I said softly, as I briefly tried to decide whether to pursue him or not.

I wasn’t in the mood to kill anyone, in fact the only thing I wanted to do was sit in a dark place and brood, but I wanted to live and if I wanted to live he was going to have to die. I could try to piece myself back together later. With that I was running forward where I had seen the reflection. I ducked and dodged the people with ease and agility. To my right I saw him standing there dumbly. Before I was fully sure I’d seen him correctly my knife was barreling through the air toward him. It went right through him.

“A reflection.” I muttered turning my head toward the opposite direction, the direction it must have come from and took off running, the dry grass crunching beneath my feet with each footfall.

I stopped as I saw his reflection in the deep ‘U’ of a spirit’s ball gown directly in front of me. He was grasping a sword that shone like a siren in the dress. Oh, so he was still trying to kill me, this made things easier. I closed my eyes and forced myself to look confused, hopefully I could draw him out. I watched the reflection in front of me get larger and larger until I felt his sword jab my back with a force that should have sent me to the depths tartarus. My skin didn’t break. I grinned as a ripple of light emanated my body as I swung around to his horror and  sent me claws through his chest, right into his heart. Nice and quick- most likely he didn’t even know what had hit him.

I shook my head, who was I anymore?

The reflectiveness of the ghosts dulled back to their original murkiness as if someone had simply flicked a switch. I let out a sigh and began walking toward the path that was now only several feet to my right. As I stepped out onto the dirt path I found myself unsure of what to do with myself. My career instinct told me I had to track down Tyber- wherever he’d run off to, assuming he was still alive- and Jonah. That should be everyone.

A small tremor of electricity tickled my spine, being this close seemed unreal…. This close to what though? My series of peaceful protests that ended nowhere and in my untimely death, or my strategic manslaughter that resulted in my new country in which all humans are created equal?

I sigh and started walking back toward the gate where I had last seen Tyber, perhaps I could pick up his tracks from there. I didn’t find his tracks though, I found a bloody corpse face down in the dirt.

It was hard seeing him dead for some reason. I knew he had to die but for whatever reason he had seemed like the one I’d have to kill last. Suddenly I was glad it wasn’t me, even if Tyber was a giant man-bitch most of the time. I scanned the area around me, the tall trees that reached toward the grey sky like skeletons, the long lines of spirits that waited idly to get into the judgement pavilion and toward the darkened castle that loomed in the distance. When I was sure no one was watching leaned down and rolled him over looking at his pale blood spattered face. His eyes stared forward blankly, as if into an infinity that wasn’t visible to the living. “Thank you for everything.” I whispered leaning forward and planting a light peck on his lips. There, a proper apology for being a giant bitch most of the time. With that I forced myself to close his blue eyes for the last time and I left him alone at the gaping gates of the underworld.

Whoever had killed him had been good…. very good. I remembered the wounds in his chest. They were neat like the wounds could have even come from me, nothing like Jaiden’s sloppy hacks at Nixie. Jonah must be better than I remember, after all he was the only one left- right? Suddenly I was very uneasy, after all, even though I was as sharp as my blades I was still human and wherever humanity was involved there was always room for error. Had I miscounted the dead tributes? Yes something wasn’t right. Generally in the finale the tributes will be forced together to battle it out, this was nothing like that.

Suddenly a flicker of movement caught my eye ahead, a wisp of blond hair among the red and blue flames in the fields of punishment. I sprinted off the patch and toward the tortured screams that pierced the stale air. I tried not to look at the a tall structures of torture that stood around me like trees, each device held a writhing and bloody soul screaming for mercy. My eyes caught a man’s who had been sliced in half as strange flesh eating bugs devoured each side. “Help me… please.” He choked before bugs began crawling from his mouth and his nose. I shook my head and kept walking.

I saw Jonah’s figure duck behind a gauntlet that was dicing a woman’s body like it was a tomato, inch by painstaking inch. I ran toward him, anxious to get out of this section of the underworld. I would be spending more than enough time here after I died. I barreled into him at full force slicing his stomach open, his guts falling to the burning ground. He fell to his knees shrieking, tears streaming from his eyes only to evaporate as soon as they tried to run down his cheek.

“Jonah, Jonah Ryelin right?” I shouted trying to be heard over the crackling of flames and the dying screams.

He tried to swipe at my legs with his sickle as if he thought he still had a chance. I merely dodged and watched him double over trying to keep from falling. “Jonah, I need to know if you killed Tyber, my partner.” I asked very calmly, trying to to be irritated. I hated dying people, they could be so uncooperative.

He looked up at me with a tired look in his eyes, that was sparked with defiance. I glowered, I didn’t have time for this! “Jonah, I will skin you if you don’t answer me!” I screamed losing my patience.

Slowly he shook his head and collapsed in the pile of his own entrails with a small splash. I shook my head and stabbed him, ending his pain. I wasn’t going to get anything from him anyway. I waited a minute, surrounded by the flames of hell to see if I had added correctly even though I knew I had not. Sure enough I was not declared victor and I let out a long deliberate sigh. Why did my life have to be so freaking complicated? Oh yes, because you are an ex-sociopath who may or may not be bent on world domination for a good cause.

“Confused, Phaedra?” A voice curled from behind me like a snake. I recognized the voice instantly but I didn’t believe it until I turned and saw him in full color.

Eden.

“Not really.” I said shaking the shock free of me. “I didn’t stab you hard enough on purpose.” I lied through my teeth. I’d been emotionally unstable when I’d killed him… clearly it had taken it’s toll. “I wanted to kill you twice, backstabbers deserve to suffer.” I said forcing venom into my voice. This was a point that I couldn’t appear weak.

Eden rolled his eyes smirking, “I nearly bled to death. I dragged myself to the whole that I saw you guys fall through, hoping I could beg you guys for help- low and behold I found the Styx! So I just dragged myself over there and all my wounds were healed and then some…..” He smiled cryptically taking a step toward me.

So he was invulnerable too…. Eden was smart, of course he’d know the legend, I frowned. This made things significantly more complicated. This would be a game of finding each other’s weak spots…. Did he know I’d taken a swim in there too? If not I could definitely use that to my advantage.

Eden charged me, I placed my foot behind me bracing myself for impact. I caught his sword in my claws, blocking the blow. I brought my left arm around slashed his stomach, a ripple of light flickered as his skin failed to rip. Yeah, he was invulnerable. New plan, get him tired and then start stabbing generally non-fatal parts of his body.

I let out a warcry that got lost in the screams of pain and agony. I charged him slashing and stabbing like a barbarian. Eden fought too with twice as much vigor. His sword managed to strike my neck, my skin of course deflected with a flicker of lights. Eden’s eyes widened, his attack halted for a millisecond. I sent him a shark toothed grin before moving in and striking his feet, my claws raking each bone as I dropped into a roll and tumbled through his legs spinning around and striking his lower back. Both blows were unsuccessful, I scowled deeply as he spun around and sliced at my stomach.

The blow as reckless and panicked…. Eden’s weak spot was on his back, the only question was where on his back. I swiped his shoulder with both of my arms, knocking him off balance and sending him tumbling into the gauntlet that had almost finished grinding the woman to pieces. The blade crashed down upon his neck pushing downwards with all it’s might trying to slice him in half but his skin refused to break. His entire body glowed as he tried to break free- almost all of his body. The nape of his neck remained a light peach color. I took a deep breath and sliced it.

Blood splurted everywhere, staining the already bloody ground a shade redder.  I let out a long sigh and let my neck fall back as I closed my eyes. I wiped the thick sweat from my brow breathing heavily. I waited for the announcement that I was victor, I waited for the words that solidify my victory.

It never came.

“Poor child thinks she’s won…” The cackle scraped through the fields of punishment that had fallen eerily silent frighteningly quickly. Only the crackle of flames could otherwise be heard.  The spirits that had once writhed in agony now hung like rag dolls from the equipment that once made them squirm. Even the fire had seemed to dim. I turned slowly around to see three little woman that had appeared behind me. They sat around a rickety black spinning wheel.

I realized with a start I was looking at the fates. The tall one with the hooked nose that had spoken sent me an ominous grin. “We don’t like you very much Phaedra Wolfgang. You’re too mean.”

The fat one who sat in the middle nodded vigorously, “A champion should be hot too! Personally I was rooting for that Jaiden fellow.” She waved her hand as if to try and cool herself down. I found a scowl deepening on my face as they spoke. “Shame you killed my future husband!” She spat as if she actually thought she had a chance.

“And you know what the great thing is?” The tall one spoke up again. “The gamemakers are dead and no one is supervising the control room so quite frankly we can kill you!” She smiled as if she had just suggested all the starving children of the world should get free capital treats. “This shall be the year the capital has no victor.”

I wanted to ask what was going on with the gamemakers but I bit my tongue. I looked at the quiet fate that sat on the end holding a pair of scissors in front of her face and snapping them as if they were simply fascinating. According to Greek and Roman mythology the fates had the life strings of everyone, they measured them out and cut them, I knew if they cut this string I was dead- something I was unwilling to have happen. I had not just killed several people to have my life stolen by these mutts on crack. “Cut it Mortia.” The one in the middle giggled.

“Wait! You do not want to kill me!” I shouted, even the one on the end looked up with curiosity. I took a deep breath and composed myself. “The time of the gods has past. No one cares about you anymore- and even when they did care about the gods, you three were barely noticed. You deserve so much more! You are the ultimatum that chooses who will live another day and who won’t. I worshiped you three as a child.” I watched their eyebrows raise as my well masqueraded lies. “I promise if you three graciously allow  me to live I will restore you and the other gods to their former glory, with you three as the queens.”

The tall one with the hooked nose looked at me suspiciously. “How do we know you aren’t lying?”

I made an act of looking innocent and shrugging my shoulders. “You don’t. I really wish I could prove my undying loyalty to you but I can’t. You just have to trust me.”

The three fates looked at each other in confusion. The quiet one on the end, Mortia, spoke raising  a finger. “We have to discuss this. In the meantime though your death will begin to unfold- of course if we decide to spare you you will live… if not well you know what happens.” She smiled at me then looked over her shoulder. “Oh look here comes your death now! We’d better decide quickly.” I looked up in the direction she was looking to see an abnormally large figure lumbering toward me. He was cloaked in a cloak the shimmered like the night sky.

My breath caught in my throat and I felt tremors race down my spine. The man stopped in front of me and raised his spear that crackled with electricity. “I am Pluto, and you have wreaked massive havoc in my kingdom.” He growled, his seely dark eyes were barely visible below his hood. “I am going to send you to the darkest pits of tartarus!”

Overreacting much? I barely had time to process the thought before his spear was barreling toward me. I ducked with the lightspeed that my dip in the Styx had rewarded me with- even then I felt it graze my head. His weapon barreled at me again and I jumped. I didn’t even know how to defend myself- he was huge- he was a god.

I charged him and thrust my claws into his foot- it barely made a dent. His foot jutted forward instantly sending me flailing through the air. It ripped at my body, my stomach flew into my chest as I flailed trying to grab something- anything to stop my fall. Then my body collided with the ground, the sickening jolt racked my body even through the invulnerability. I looked down at my foot, still dazed. I’d landed on the path, my left foot’s heel had struck an abnormally large rock- just inches from my vulnerable spot. I realized in horror I’d almost struck my talus bone…. I’d almost died.

I froze for half a second before the vibrations of Pluto’s thundering footsteps pulled me back into reality. I couldn’t fight him- that much was obvious. I’d have to rely on the tool that had gotten me through most of the games- I was going to outsmart him.

I rolled to my feet and began sprinting through the darkened wasteland. My feet pounded the ground heavily, each step propelling me closer toward the rest of my life. I whipped past the judgement building ducking and dodging through the spirits that hovered aimlessly.

I didn’t dare look over my shoulder. I knew he was gaining and if he caught me I was as good as dead.

I forced myself to run faster, my eyes scanning edges of the underworld for my solution. I raced past the Fields of Asphodel, my breath becoming raw in my throat. The ground shook as Pluto’s footsteps sounded even closer. Then I saw it, the darkened cave that led to the cliff that fell to tartarus- assuming the books I read had been accurate. I made the turn sharp and the thick inky blackness engulfed me. I forced myself to slow down, I had to or I might accidentally fall into tartarus. Carefully I felt the ground before me with each foot before I took my step.

The silence was thick it seemed to cloak me- I had expected noise of some type. In a way this was far more terrifying.

And then Pluto’s footsteps exploded shaking the cave. Rubble began to fall from it’s ceiling the second my foot touched the edge of tartarus. I could practically feel it’s depth tempting me to come down. I took a step back just to be safe. Pluto’s footsteps didn’t slow down. I held my breath as the dim light of his electric spear illuminated the cave. He lunged at me the second I threw myself to the ground.

He realized his mistake too late and let out a terrified scream and he fell into the gaping abyss. I closed my eyes breathing heavily. I had done it… I was alive.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the victor of this year’s annual Hunger Games, Phaedra Wolfgang!” The voice echoed above me, solidifying both my safety and my tomorrow. What I would do with that tomorrow I wasn’t quite sure.

Dimitra’s words came back to me…. I had won the games at the expense of becoming a monster. I’d done terrible things, I knew this, but it had been for my future country, then it had been for a new world in which all would be equal and finally it was for my own selfish life. What I would do with that selfish life I had no idea. I wanted to change the world, I wanted to make a world in which the strong and the weak lived in unison but how could that world be made without bloodshed? I remembered Dimitra’s words, ‘You’ve become a monster.’ They still rung in the back of my mind like a bell.

And then I realized that maybe somebody has to become a monster so everyone else didn’t have to. I knew what had to be done and I wasn’t an idealist. Panem must fall. People would die but it would be for the long term good of all; for a better world in which everyone walked as equals. Yes, I was willing to be the monster.

Phaedra's result is still pending.