Three shots, two fist fights and about five escape attempts later I'd given up completely. There is nothing worse than that chest hollowing feeling of no hope.

I was in the capital and I was going to die. It was as simple as that.

Hopefully I could tick a couple people off before I died though. I let out a little snicker as I stared into the mirror before me, listening to the distressed cries of my stylist from the opposite side of the door. "Levi! What are you doing in there? Dammit I know! Don't you dare!" That was the sound of my last wish coming true.

"What? Piss? Would you prefer I went all werewolf on you and peed on the nearest fire hydrant?" I yelled back, yanking the dahm black tie that my stylist had nearly strangled me with from my neck. I tossed it over my shoulder into the toilet behind me. As much as I would love to spend all day tearing apart.... this monstrosity. (Really, the term monstrosity was too kind. I looked like a children's science experiment gone terribly wrong. The floral suit I'd been dressed in made me want to hurl every time I looked at it too long.) I didn't have a whole lot of time because I'd made sure to enter the bathroom about three minutes before my scheduled interview so there would be no chance of them forcing me back in the suit.

"Of all the tributes I could have gotten I got the delinquent faerie! Thats it! I'm getting the peacekeepers!" My stylist shrilled furiously from the other side of the door. I glanced down at the two shadows that were just visible underneath the door. He was still standing there, I mean he had no proof I was vandalizing his work. What could he tell the peacekeepers? That I was peeing too long? I snorted flinging the jacket from my back exposing the plane white blouse beneath. Eh, I think I'd keep the blouse. It was bearable.

I kicked my shoes off and began to shuffle out of my pants. "You know faeries have wings right? Dear God, did you get held back in kindergarten? Get your facts straight." I hissed trying very hard not to be irritated. I stared at my brown hair that had been gelled into a mohawk, my prep-team had been forced to use so much hair gel to get it to stay in place I was about 85% sure that if I banged my head into someone I'd kill them. I turned the faucet on and ducked my head beneath it, beginning to free myself of 'shark head'.

From the other side of the door it sounded as if my stylist was hyperventilating. I made the mistake of laughing and water raced up my nose. I pulled myself out of the rushing water, blowing a clump of snot water from my nose. My hands flew to my nose and I clutched it pinching my eyes shut. That had hurt. I stared at the mess that was not my head, my hair was generally messy but in some places the gel had refused to give resulting in my hair standing up at odd angles.... Oh well. I grabbed the reflective aviator glasses that I'd stolen from one of the other tributes and I stuck them on my face.

I glanced down at my watch; it was showtime. A blose, some boxers and aviators were really all I needed to wear to look sexy anyway, no time for shoes. I leaned over to the toilet that sat behind me. The tie still floated in it reminding me of a drowned snake. I hit the flusher and it coiled down into the pipes, I smirked, they were going to have a fun time unclogging this.

With that I grabbed the doorknob and flung the door open with all of the force I could muster. The heavy metal door cracked against my stylist's scalp and sent him tumbling backward to the floor. "Ops." I said flatly staring down at him, "That looks like its going to hurt tomorrow.... Actually it looks like it's hurting you now."

The sad, strange little man looked up at me, his face filled with not only physical agony, but also emotional agony, on some level I knew I shouldn't take this much pleasure in others misery, most of my just laughed that they shouldn't have forced me into this freak show in the first place. "You... you were beautiful. You destroyed my masterpiece." He wailed covering his face with his hands.

I laughed and stepped over him and turning the corner to the short hall in which the tributes waited for the interview. "Last call for Levi Rixton." A peacekeeper was saying staring over the long line of tributes who mulled near the wall nervously, all dressed as if they were elite capital socialites.

"Levi Rixton is not present." I said walking up to him, wondering what he'd say in response. I heard a few strangled gasps as the other tributes laid eyes on my new look, the peacekeeper included.

He coughed uncomfortably. "Um. Mr.Rixton, where the hell are your pants?" He asked as if he really was not looking forward to the answer but felt obligated to ask.

I put my hand on my hip, "Um Mr.Peacekeeper, pants are for losers. Not that you'd know that." I watched in amusement as the peacekeeper rolled his eyes in one big, dramatic gesture.

"Just get on stage." He growled grabbing my arm roughly and leading me to the curtains that happened to be the only thing standing between myself and the world seeing me in my underwear. I shrugged and walked through the curtains.

Music pounded in my ears, the heavy base vibrating the floor. Colored lights flashed everywhere bathing me in blue, red, and then pink as the spotlights danced across the floor. I felt a little tremor of adrenalin trickle into my veins as I looked out at the massive darkened crowd that seemingly stretched forever. I forced myself to flash them a smile as I strode to the two figures seated in the center of the stage. The short girl in the flowing white dress stood up to meet me with a broad smile. "Lets welcome Levi Rixton, faerie of the northern hemisphere!"

Way to start off an interview. I blew off her handshake and just to irritate her I took her seat in the cushy loveseat next to her sweaty assistant who eyed me as if I had mad cow disease- whatever that was- leaving the young girl with the wooden stool meant for me. "Hey, Kira, right?" I asked repeating the name that my mentor had needed to repeat several times in my head to prevent me from forgetting it, mostly because I could care less what her name was. "Yeah, so actually you opened my entire interview with an incorrect statement; I'm not a faerie, I was just reaped out of the northern hemisphere." Or more like I was forced to attend the reaping and they threw my name in half billion times because I'd ditched that freakshow town years ago, but you know whatever.

Kira took a seat on the stool awkwardly shifting her weight on it trying to get comfortable. Ha, good luck with that, I thought snidely. I watched her reach into the bosom of her dress and pull out a sheet of paper. She scanned it, "Says here you're a faerie." She shrugged. It was a passive aggressive shrug if I've ever seen one.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, bitch wanted to play hardball, huh? "It's clearly incorrect, I don't have wings." I said gesturing to my back which was void of the wings that used to hang from my back. "Everyone knows a faerie dies when his wings are chopped off." I added stating the popular theory that was only true in most cases, because you know obviously I wasn't dead.

Kira looked genuinely clueless as to how to deal with this. The kid next to me raised a finger nervously, "If I may intercede...."

I crammed my hand over his mouth, "No, shortie, you may not intercede." I said dismissively, catching Kira's eyes bulge a little out of the corner of my eye. Mentally I shrugged, my overbearing personality and ballsy, flat-out obnoxiousness had a tendency to have that effect on people.

"Hey!" The boy said shoving my hand away from his mouth harshly. "Shortie? You've got to be kidding me... You're shorter than I am!" He protested, his conviction lessening with each word he said as he shrunk back into his shell, his previous anger dissolving.

I patted his back with more mockery than kindness. "You just have a really 'short' personality, Shortie." I said, attempting not to crack a grin as he let out a sigh and looked down at his feet. God I'd become such a sadist.... Not that it was my fault I was like this. I felt my face cloud over and a familiar pain stab in my chest.

Kira clapped her hands together grobbing my attention, "Look, we've never had a mix up with species before, but we have to get this interview on the road so I'm just going to cut to the first question that everyone here at the capital has been dying to know the answer to; how are you enjoying it here?" She asked, her face tight with mild irritation like she was doing everything in her power to hold it together.

"Wow. Nice build up to the lamest question ever. I'll have you know that every time I get near anything pointy I have the urge to impale myself brutally on it because this place is so damn terrible. Really I expected more." I said flatly, trying not to think of my isolated cave high up in the snowy mountains that I had dwelt in happily for a few years. I missed being alone, being free to come and go as I pleased. I missed the chilly nights by the fire and the gamey taste of the food I hunted. I wanted more than anything to go back to it, I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back tearing my eyes from Kira's and tilting my head upwards toward the ceiling aloofly.

As if sensing my sudden anguish she said, "He's a strange fellow isn't he folks?" They all laughed. I looked back at her beaming face, all too pleased with her incredibly bland comeback. "Now Levi, since you dislike our capital, why don't you tell us what exactly you miss most about your home?" She raised an eyebrow quite evidently expecting me to talk about my loving family, or my long lost lover or some other emotional shit.

She quite evidently didn't know me. "What I miss most about my home is the fact that I don't have to deal with you freaks- and to specify, by freaks I mean everyone who is watching this interview right now." I turned to the camera and smiled at it sticking my thumb up sarcastically.

Kira raised her eyebrows, her smile tightening even more. "Well. Lets talk about those 'freaks' that are going to be trying to kill you in a week or so. Tell me, which tribute stands out to you the most?" She leaned forward balancing her chin on her hand. I was tempted to try knocking it from under her.

"Oh. Definitely that warlock with the tropical colored hair who seems to like skipping around drunk, what's his name? Magnet? But you know I'm positive the reason he stands out is that he's an amazing fighter and not the reasons I stated previously." I laughed sarcastically rolling my eyes.

Kira raised her eyebrows even more, at this point I think them flying right off her face was a valid concern. "Magnus? He is very interesting, polite and enjoyable. So basically everything you aren't. The capital just wants to adopt him!" She clapped her hands with mock innocence.

I snorted, "I am interesting, polite and enjoyable. You know just not to stupid people. Like you." I shrugged as if I was only stating a fact that wasn't arguable. I mean, I had this hypothesis that suggested that I was interesting, polite and enjoyable.... I guess I just really hadn't found anyone worth my time to try it out on....

Kira's laugh was strained, "You don't seem to feel like Magnus is a huge threat. So who do you think is?" She grinned as if she was thinking something along the lines of; tell me so that we can anger this said person and you will be the first they brutally butcher!

"You expect me to name off a tribute don't you?" I raised an eyebrow. "See I'm not that stupid. Really even the most badass tribute out here could drop to the ground dead at any point in the games. These games are about 75% luck. The biggest threat is the one who controls it all; our gamemaker Niamh Silver. If she doesn't like someone she could easily arrange their death... I don't think it helps she has more than a few screws loose."

"Well I have this gut feeling she doesn't like you." Kira said curtly narrowing her eyes and crossing her hands over her shoulders. She looked at me expectantly, waiting to see my response.

I decided to play like I had everything in my control so I just grinned devilishly, "Perhaps that is my plan." No. Its really not apart of my plan, dammit I don't even have a plan! I don't think I could make one if I tried. Oh well. I've made it this far without dying while surrounded with people who hate me, I can totally survive another week or so in an arena filled with people who want to kill me.

Kira pursed her lips, as if trying to decide how to proceed. "Not that you stand any chance with these tributes, but who do you think is the most attractive?"

"Me!" I said without even thinking about it.

Kira sigh, thrusting her face into her hands. "I knew that was coming." She sigh and sat up, "Okay, so who do you think is the weakest tribute? Notice I said 'tribute' there." She said repositioning herself to sit up straight.

I sigh, "Probably Tequila's little brother, what's-his-name, the guy doesn't seem to be able to stand on his own much. He seems pretty clingy to his sister, I mean she's not his mom. Not to mention he is forgettable and has so much hair it will probably flop in his face during a fight, completely blinding him and lead to his untimely death. Or you know he might accidently set it on fire and burn his brain cells. One or the other."

"Get your names straight, Levi. The girls name is Taraleigh, and the boy you speak of is Theodore. At this rate you won't survive a day in the arena." Kira said, clearly trying to rattle me, though I had no clue as to how neglecting to learn these weirdo's names would kill me. Its not like I was going to walk up and start talking to them. Ew.

"Tomoto, tamateo, no one cares. Least of all you, really everyone here is just temporary entertainment to you. As soon as they die for your amusement you'll forget them and move onto your next martyr." I snapped, glowering at her. The crowd gasped although they were just as guilty.... I was surrounded by morons.

Kira's eyes flashed in a steaming fury. I'd just insulted her image. For a second I wondered if she was going to attempt to kill me right then and there. The boy that sat beside me, Shortie as I called him earlier, may have quite possibly saved my life- not that I wouldn't be able to take Kira. "Look. This isn't worth fighting over... Uh... Uh.... Lets talk about killing! Everyone loves killing people! Right? Uhh Levi, so who do you plan on targeting in the arena?" He asked, his eyes wide and his sweaty palms wringing his shirt nervously.

"Uh no. Not everyone loves killing people, believe it or not there are actually a lot of people out there who are still normal." I said flatly but I decided to humor him anyway, after all now that I thought about it I guess he seemed nice and I had been a jerk earlier.... and I was still kind of being a jerk.... "If I was targeting someone I wouldn't be stupid enough to say here, but just to amuse you dreadful creatures I'll throw out that I genuinely loath faeries. Those bitches won't be safe."

"But you are a faerie." Shortie pointed out bluntly, blinking his wide doe eyes in confusion.

"Dammit no! Hell, I told you at the beginning of the interview that I wasn't a faerie!" I almost yelled, a sudden frustration seizing my chest. What would it take for people to look at me as something besides a faerie? They could call me a werewolf for all I care, anything but one of those lying, evil creatures of the race I was born into.

Shortie hung his head looking down at his feet, "Okay. Umm so..." I watched him twiddle his thumbs uncomfortably, his shoulders tense in embarrassment. Serves him right, when someone says they aren't something you need to respect that.

Kira cleared her throat, a wiley smile playing across her face, "Seems you've done enough damage Geoffrey. Let me take it from here. What's your biggest weakness?" She asked glowering at me. If looks could kill I would have been burning in a pool of acid while sharks ate me, but they can't so the joke was on her.

"Kira," I pinched the bridge of my nose as I looked down for a second. "you have to be high as heaven if you think that I'm about to divulge my biggest weakness to the entirety of the downerworld." I snorted, she was so irritating. She was so irritating I decided out of the goodness of my heart to forgive Geoffrey for calling me a faerie. "And Geoffrey was doing a hell of a better job than you. How many years do you think it will be till he takes your job?" I smirked curtly turning my attention back to Geoffrey who was staring at Kira in fear. "Geoffrey ask me my next question."

"No!" Kira shouted sharply. "This is still my interview and I am in charge. Geoffrey don't ask him anything." She spat venomously. Well I guess I found her biggest weakness; jealousy and control.

"Its not your interview- its mine." I said kicking her stool backwards impulsively, not completely thinking about the repercussions. The crowd gasped as she toppled backward, her skirt flying up like a billowing flag of surrender. My jaw dropped as I watched her sit up clutching her head.... Well that could have ended badly.

I turned back to Geoffrey, "Go ahead and ask me the next question." I said taking my eyes off of the livid interviewer and turning to the horrified intern. "Don't worry, I think she will be fired after this interview."

Geoffrey looked emotionally torn as he looked from Kira to me, from me to Kira. "Ah.... Ah.... Levi, out of all the tributes why do you deserve to win?" He finally spoke with a strangled expression on his face. He knew he was crossing a line that he shouldn't cross.... at least I think that was why he looked like that, it very well could have just been his face.

And that's about when Kira went beserk.

"Its my interview!" She screamed launching herself at my neck, her fingers wrapping around my throat with frighteningly good aim. "I'll kill you, I swear I will!" Her palms were sweaty as they squeezed, slowly cutting off my airways, her eyes shooting daggers.

I kneed her stomach almost instinctively, her light weight toppled off me with ease, right into the peacekeeper's arms. She screamed bloody murder her arms kicking and swinging clawing at the air between us venomously. Poor air.

"Get ahold of yourself, Miss!" The peacekeeper begged vainly. The words went right over her head- then again I assumed most things did.

Shakily I stood up, re-adjusting the aviators that had become comically crooked in Kira's attempt to brutally murder me. "Geoffrey," I said answering his question, completely disregarding the fact there had been a brawl seconds before. "I deserve to win because."

Geoffrey furrowed his brow, "Because why?"

I shrugged simply, resisting the urge to crack a cheeky grin. "Because."

"Thats not an answer you freak!" Kira yelled still fighting the air molecules like a mad-woman. The peacekeeper who held her seemed unsure of what he should do with the ballistic creature. I hardly blamed him.

"Because." I gave way to my temptation and smiled at her furious glower. "Well folks, it seems as if Kira has lost her marbles so I'm just going to call this interview a wrap. Seriously the poor girl needs psychiatric attention; all the hair dye has gone to her head." I gave them a mocking salute before I skipped off of the stage.... sadly right into the arms of my pissed stylist and two peacekeepers.

Beautiful.

If you missed my sarcasm you missed my point.

It was most certainly the opposite of beautiful.

Like, I think my eyes are going to bleed.

You know what? I'll just shut up now.