Wish I may, wish I might, have Magnus disappear for all eternity. Or better yet just let someone stab him brutally.

Yesterday I had thought I would be able to tolerate the 1,000+ year old warlock who insisted on acting like a toddler who had far too much sugar, however now I realized that I was going to stab myself. His personality paired with the fact he had practically attached himself to Rolf like a barnacle on a whale was just too much for my dark shriveled heart to handle.

Rolf sat next to the fire I had constructed with Magnus curled into a ball next to him with his head on Rolf's lap. I tried to distract myself with thoughts of throwing a burning stick at Magnus's head and setting him on fire. The thought calmed me considerably; whoever said that violence was not the answer to everything was clearly an idiot. In normal circumstances I would have just carried out my fantasies and killed both him and Rolf on the spot, however I found myself wanting to keep Rolf around for a while and Rolf clearly had some attachment to Magnus so I was straining the little self-discipline I had to control myself.

So there I sat, watching a gay man trying desperately to win over another man who was probably gay as well. I wanted to throw up and claw my eyes out, still I watched. I couldn't stop. Every time I would try to look away Magnus would snuggle up a little closer to to Rolf and mutter something about one of his two main objects of affection: Rolf or alcohol.

I did wonderfully for the longest time; sitting there with my eye twitching and my stomach churning. However I am only human and I could only take so much. As Magnus sat up and stared Rolf in the eye, the words "I love you." leaving his lips I lost it.

I shot to my feet and stormed over to them, shadow playing against the cave wall through the smoke in the cave. Without thinking I grabbed a fistfull of Magnus's hair and yanked him away from Rolf who was staring at me bug eyed. Magnus cried out in surprised as I dropped him a few feet away. "What-" He choked as I grabbed the end of a half burned stick from the fire.

"See this stick? The both of you! You see this damn stick?" I cried, my eyes focusing on the fact the stick was still glowing dimly. I snuffed it out with my hand not even flinching.

"Rolf! Angry faerie-man-thing has finally lost it! Kill it with the fire!" Magnus cried reaching for his wand, only to find that he had left it across the room.

I waved the stick in his face. "This! This is the prevent public displays of affection stick! I'm going to place this on the ground between you two and you aren't allowed to cross it lest I impale you with it! If you two want to make porn for the capital, go crazy! Just do it outside! Spare. Me. God, I hope you penis gets frozen to a tree!" I screamed throwing the stick on the ground. I looked from Rolf to Magnus, my eyes gleaming with malice, daring them to question me.

Rolf blushed and looked down, "I-It's not like that. It- it- it-"

Magnus regained his composure. "See what you did? You broke him." He said coldly, almost mockingly. I raised my eyebrows, this was a new side to Magnus. I guess he wasn't entirely fluff-brained. I liked it, it gave me something to fight.

"Ha, you think that's broken? Wait til you see what I do to your face!" I yelled, my spit slattering his face.

Magnus didn't flinch, a small chuckle leaving his throat. "You have no idea who you are dealing with, freak." His eyes studied me, boring into my body, sizing me up.

I didn't like this. When I scream at people they are supposed to cower in fright. "Yeah, I do." I spat, his indifference only adding to my fury. "I am dealing with a purple haired pansy who has fluff for a brain! I will kick your purple ass to the frigging moon and back!"

Magnus's eyes flashed and he opened his mouth to retort, but it never came. Suddenly I found myself being shoved backward. "You animals! Sit down and behave! Levi if cuddling makes you uncomfortable just say something instead of threatening people's lives!" Rolf shouted getting between us.

I almost considered calming down. Almost. "Never! I'm a free-man-bitch and I do whatever I please! I'm going to kill something!" I yelled turning around and grabbing my bow. I stormed out of the cave into the knee deep snow.

Rolf yelled after me but I didn't stop. After a second I found myself running through the snow, my feet crushing the snow beneath me. The moon was bright against the glossy snow, I started to calm down, the cold extinguishing my anger. My lungs burned as I forced myself to run faster. Running was liberating. If you could run fast enough, you could escape anything,

Eventually I slowed to a halt and stared up at the sky.

And that was just it, I just stared at it, my chest feeling empty. I wasn't the type of person who could have friends, who was I kidding? I was a head case. Its probably why my dad left. Its probably why my family hated me. Its why I was cursed to be alone. A blossom of pain that I hadn't felt in years erupted in my chest and I felt myself legs give out beneath me. Snow bled through my clothes and burned my legs but I made no effort to move.

Water began to fill my eyes and instantly I covered my eyes in shame. God, I had to get ahold my myself. I was heartless! I had no feelings, they were for idiots! So everyone hated me and I had just screwed up my only possible friendship, big deal! "I don't care! I really don't!" I choked out as the hot tears flowed from my eyes, burning against my cool cheeks. I tried to scoop it back in.

I heard the soft crunch of snow behind me but I didn't move. A bit of my old, ever-present irritation trickled into my veins. "Can you not see that I am wallowing in a puddle of self-greif, you freak? Leave me the hell alone. If you kill me I will haunt you for all eternity." I moaned irritably as the footsteps came to a stop.

"Yeah, okay Levi, just wallow in your misery inside the cave where you aren't going to die of hypothermia."

I rolled over to face the small boy who had followed me out here, his stick-like frame looked even smaller in the cold. I was shocked. "Why did you follow me? I'm-" I asked then I caught myself and scowled. "Nevermind. I'm just too fabulous for my own good." I let my head fall back into the snow as I tried to appear uninterested. This wasn't the way things worked; I met someone, I was an ass, they left.

Rolf looked down and squinted at me in disbelief, "Are you.... Are you crying?"

"No." I said quickly sitting up and wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt, it was wet from the snow and only served to drag more water across my skin."My face is sweating, freak." I grumbled not making eye contact.

Rolf raised an eyebrow. "It's below zero." He leaned forward and offered me a hand. I briefly considered yanking it and making him fall face first into the snow, but I decided against it.

I stared at his hand, uncertain whether to take it or not. "You know what? Okay fine. I was having feelings. It happens every now and again. Generally they go away within an hour. Bite me." I growled after a long second starting to push myself to my feet.

Rolf reached forward and grabbed my wrist to help. "You realize feelings are normal? Right? Ever think because you don't deal with them may be why you are so... violent?" He asked, the last word dragging out of his throat as he looked at me uncertainly.

"I like being violent. It is great." I said dryly, uncertain as to why violence could be a bad thing. "Besides, how would you even know that?" I rolled my eyes and started trudging in the direction of the cave. I knew Rolf was right on some level, if the two of us stayed out here any longer I would freeze. I mean we. Because I am concerned about both of us.

The word 'we' felt weird in my brain.

I heard Rolf jump a few steps to catch up with me. "Look, if you want to talk about it I'm here."

I looked at him strangely. His face was red and blotchy from the cold as he stared up at me earnestly. "What is there to talk about?"

Rolf's expression morphed into one of annoyance."Whatever was making you upset?" He offered with a side of sarcasm.

I stared at him incredulously, "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because maybe that's what normal people do?" Rolf suggested, frustration rimming his words. "You know, or maybe because I'm curious. I'm curious how on earth you lost your wings." His voice started to sound a bit panicky as he started to string his words together faster and faster almost like they were matching the elevated pounding of my chest. "I remember you, Levi. We went to the same little schoolhouse in the center of our village. You were the only brunette for miles and I remember that you had big, golden, feathery wings. Where did they go? You know I know something screwed up must have happened to you because no one just acts the way you do."

I blinked at him. I didn't remember him at all from school, though in all reality, I could have easily forgotten yet another blonde face. I felt sick... I felt cornered. For once in my life I genuinely had no idea what to say.

I remembered that night all those years ago when I had done it. I could tell you every last detail of what happened from the clothes I was wearing to the way the wooden floor of the barn creaked as I entered it. I guess thats something about almost dying does to you; it burns every last detail into your mind. I remembered the pain I felt in my chest, I remembered the way that the cold metal rod of the sickle felt in my hands as I awkwardly lifted it over my head and began to saw at my own flesh.

I hadn't necessarily wanted to die, but if I did die I could have cared less. I just hated myself for being one of them.

I remembered lying alone on the cold ground as the blood dripped from the bloody stumps that were once my wings. I had been so alone.

Hot tears began to bubble in my eyes again, my chest beginning to heave. "You know what?" Rolf asked cautiously, "Forget it. Forget I asked. I'm sorry, I was out of line. If you ever do want to talk about it I'm here."

I stopped walking, completely embarrassed of the emotions that were wracking my chest. I grabbed a handful of snow and stuffed it into my face, the crystals burning hot against my face. The external pain distracted me from the torrents of pain within and I found myself able to get a grip. "Yeah." I snorted. "Don't ever ask me that again."

We collapsed into silence as we continued to walk. Suddenly out of nowhere a hovercraft raced over our heads and paused over the cave which was just ahead. "Someone must have died...." I commented eyeing the hovercraft.

"Magnus!" Rolf cried in horror, spreading his wings and soaring toward the cave with one swift flap of his wings.

I didn't bother running. I had already had my exercise for the day. Getting there faster wouldn't make Magnus any less dead. I remembered wishing Magnus away earlier, I wondered, was it possible my wish had come true?

When I got to the cave I found Rolf standing beside a little blonde faerie whose eyes were widened in shock. I felt myself sigh inwardly as a familiar spark of hatred plumed in my lungs. Nope, my wish had most certainly not come true. I had disty sunshine man who possibly wanted to kill me replaced by the dumb twig bitch from hell, Lanelle. Shoot me.

"Stab her Rolf!" I yelled when I was still a distance off. "Stab her before she multiplies!" I waved fervently at Rolf who just appeared to ignore me as Lanelle took a step back. Coward. "If Rolf won't stab you I will!"

I ran up to them just in time to see Rolf roll his eyes and mutter, "No he won't." before he turned to me and raised his hands. "Levi don't do anything. The Gamemakers switched up the alliances on purpose. Our lives might be linked."

I sent a death glare towards Lanelle, briefly considering taking my chances anyway. "Wonderful. Just wonderful."