Remus sat outside Grimmauld Place. He couldn't go in there. It reminded him too much of Sirius. The cleaned rooms. The smell. The occasional bottle of Butterbeer or Fire Whisky. Even Kreacher reminded him of Sirius ... Sirius.

The memory of watching Sirius fall through the Veil played in a constant loop in Remus's mind. No matter how hard he tried to forget, no matter how hard he tried not to believe it, he knew it happened. What's worse is that everyone is comforting Harry, because he lost his Godfather. But no one was comforting Remus John Lupin, who had just lost his last best friend.

"But I'm his best friend! I grew up with him. I'm the one who picked up the pieces when he escaped from Azkaban and was staying with me. I'm the one who was there for him when no one else was." Remus yelled angrily inside his head. "I'm the one who not only loved him like a brother, but as a lover."

Remus was glad he was sitting outside in the rain. The heavy rain drops masked the tears of pain and anger that rolled down his face as he broke down. After all this time of being strong and well put together, Remus was glad he could just let it go.

From somewhere deep within him, Remus felt anger bubbling up with hatred against Harry.

"Why should he get all the sympathy and pity. He hardly knew Sirius! He ignored the mirror Sirius gave him! And most of the time Harry was around Sirius was locked away in the attic, not wanting to see anyone. But no no, don't think of me, the one who watched him grow into a fine young man. The one who couldn't have been happier to see him in the Shrieking Shack. The one who just wanted to ... hold him close, and tell him that everything was alright ... and that I love him."

Tears were pouring down Remus's face so fast that the rain had a hard time keeping. He was completely soaked to the bone, but he wasn't going inside. Not yet. He couldn't. He knew he'd just crumple to the floor and never get up.

But strength from somewhere, willed him to stand. Once Remus was up, he was gone. He landed outside his own house and ran inside. Remus just closed the door, when he slid down to the floor, and let whatever he had been holding back, loose. He cried openly and loudly for several hours. And he'd never felt better once he'd stopped.

But soon he got thinking, he couldn't wait for the day he saw Sirius again. And Remus knew, it was going to be soon.