What is this emotion we call love? Is it simply a fleeting feeling someone only feels once? Why does someone love and what's its meaning? Why at times did it seem to hurt so much? All thoughts that Kirea had.

Her first love had been unexpected. It had been full of passion and an array of emotions that just seemed so distant now. She never expected to experience those feelings again—the butterflies, the giddy joy, the happiness. There was no denying she was beginning to feel something for someone else.

Her gaze lingered on the translucent blue waves that lapped at her skin. The rays of sunlight made the surface sparkle and simmer like precious jewels. The sea had given her so much joy yet had taken so much. Was it okay to keep loving something you lost? The memory of his body drifting out to sea played like a recording over and over again.

The thought of letting him too much. Her body tensed and her eyes glazed over, tears threatening to escape. It'd been years and even her son, now a man, was living his own life. Yet the pain was fresh, raw, trapping her in the past. Her hand traced the scar across her heart. A reminder of what he had given her, his heart now beating within her chest. He'd given his life to save her and the child.

"Here you are."

Glancing up, she smiled at the person who was the root cause of the conflict within. She'd met him a year ago now, he was kind-hearted, patient and oddly understanding, he knew everything about her. Though she feared she was leading him on with every passing day. She felt cruel. "The sea helps me organize my thoughts."

Sitting down beside her Clyde turned his attention to the mass of water before them. His clothing soaked through in mere seconds. She couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as he paid no mind to the chill of the water simply to be by her side.

"I-Is this about what I said last night?" He was tentative and secluded with his tone, afraid of the answer.

"I'm sorry." She lulled her head to the side. "I was taken aback and... ran away."

"You have no reason to apologise. I-I was too forward."

"It's alright, it's not like I didn't know..." She trailed off, his confession still fresh in her mind.

"You still love him." It wasn't a question, only a statement.

"I was young and utterly festinated by him. I didn't release the extent of my feelings until after he was gone. I don't completely understand what I'm feeling, be it love... or a longing for what could have been."

"It's okay, you know."

She turned to him with a questioning gaze.

"It's okay to feel conflicted." He offered.

"It's more than that. It feels wrong at times. It feels like... a betrayal to him, to his memory..." The tears she had been holding back with sheer force began to slide down her face. "I feel like I shouldn't feel this way about you, not when he gave so much to me."

He gently shook his head. "It's okay to keep loving him."

Blinking up at him slightly startled, she didn't know how to discern his words. Was he saying he would step back, that they would only remain friends and companions? Why did that information hurt so much more than her inner turmoil? When he reached over to wipe the tears from her eyes she could see the sadness she felt reflected in his own expression.

"I'd never ask you to forget him or to move on." He added in a tender tone.

"What- What do you mean?"

"Love isn't reserved for only one person. It's okay to love more than once. It's okay to love more than one thing or person at a single point in time." His thumb gently caressed her cheek. "All I know is that I care about you and I want to be a part of your life." He paused to smile softly. "D-Do you want to be part of mine?"

She could feel her throat tighten and her nose tingle as emotions overwhelmed her. Yes, she nodded unable to speak.

He leaned in, his forehead pressing gently against hers. "I'll take you both, your light and love and his heart. I'll love you both."

"O-Okay." In that moment she felt a weight lift from her chest.

((2025 the little journal romance addition entry))