LOTS: well its that time of the year...

LOTS: so i think if were gonna get celebrating...

LOTS: then ima start things off

LOTS: 

https://youtu.be/dQ_d_VKrFgM

LOTS: merry cristmas

Miu ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: I KNEW SOMEONE WAS GONNA SEND THAT FUCKING VID!

Miu ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: and also, merry cringle...

LOTS: ?

Miu ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: you heard me

LOTS: did i tho?

KirumiTOUHOU: Merry Christmas everyone.

Sweetchi: Happy christmas

Pian0Fr3ak: lovely day of jesus!

YuNarukamami: ppyHa masChri!

J0K3R: merry mcr reunion y'al;

Kiyo: Happy Christmas.

ABugsLife: Gonta wish friends happy Christmas!

K1-B0: Happy Christmas everyone!

Bagpuss: happy snow thing

MsMage: yo ho snow do!

Death2Degenerates: I...what?

MsMage: its the best I got...

Death2Degenerates: ...

Death2Degenerates: Merry Cringemas everyone...

Pian0Fr3ak: CrINGemaS HolY Fcuk TenKo!

AtuasWitness: Have a happy Christmas!

PlainAsDay: It's CHRIIIMAAAAAAA!!!

J0K3R: wtf?

PlainAsDay: haven't  u seen the vid!

YuNarukamami: Wat Vid?

PlainAsDay: the uh u know?

J0K3R: yeh that was VERY HELPFUL Tsumugi!

PlainAsDay: you know what, ima just send it to you fuckface!

PlainAsDay:

https://youtu.be/IpQMzTEBPkE

J0K3R: ADFESREDZCD!!!>??!?

LOTS: A FUC THAT TAKES ME BACK!

Sweetchi: Sr Pelo is a gift to humanity

Miu ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: I mean...of course!

LOTS: btw has anyone seen Maki Roll?

K1-B0: I thought she'd be with you right now?

Kiyo: She does not appear to be on the chat either as of right now.

KirumiTOUHOU: I'm sure she's fine.

KirumiTOUHOU: I highly doubt she's avoiding us.

J0K3R: Y?

J0K3R: maybe she doesn't like Christmas or something?

Pian0Fr3ak: I hope she's not avoiding us...

Sweetchi: same...

MsMage: Hey, Shuichi?

Sweetchi: Yeah Himiko?

MsMage: I was wondering...

MsMage: do u have a gift for Kaede yet?

MsMage: and if not, do u wanna go christams shopping together?

MsMage: I need to get a gift for Tenko and Angie and some other people...

Sweetchi: Oh sure!

Sweetchi: I spent the last couple days wondering what to get her, but I couldn't decide

Sweetchi: I guess I'll take a look around town

MsMage: k, I'll meet you at the shopping centre later ;)

MsMage: ttyl

Sweetchi: later ;)

About half an hour later, Shuichi got ready to go shopping with Himiko. He arrived in the shopping centre on this cold winter morning, wrapped snug in his thick winter coat. It wasn't hard to spot Himiko. She may not have been wearing her large pointed wizards hat that was awkwardly bigger than her whole head, but her bright red, strawberry coloured hair stood out among the crowd. Shuichi waved to her and jogged up to her. "You know, it's kind of weird seeing you without your hat" he pointed out. Himiko giggled "I wear it because it's the source of my magic power," she said "but I don't need it to go shopping." "Sure," Shuichi replied, unsure of how to respond to Himiko's fantasies "by the way, I know I mentioned it earlier, but what do you think I can get Kaede for Christmas? I need to find her and Kokichi a gift before the shops shut." "Kokichi?" Himiko reaffirmed "why?" "Because he'll nag at me for another year if I don't get him something," Shuichi replied begrudgingly "that goes for the others too though..." "Yeah, you're not wrong there," Himiko realised Shuichi was right "I'm not sure what to get for Kokichi, but why not get Kaede some new headphones? I only suggest because she seems to like music, and she's always got her old ones on during breaks in the day...at least when she's not talking to us..." "That's not a bad idea," Shuichi realised, as he and Himiko started walking to the nearest gift shop "by the way, what do you plan on getting your gal pals?" "If you mean Tenko and Angie, then I got them both phone straps that match mine. Tenko's always talking about how she wanted one like mine and I was like "Fuck it, I'll get it for Angie too" so..." Shuichi laughed at this explanation, but it was here that he suddenly noticed someone out of the corner of his eye. "Hey...isn't that...?" he began to say. Himiko was confused, but Shuichi pointed towards the counter of a toy store and the two of them saw a familiar face at the counter. Maki was talking to the man who was behind the counter, and stroked her long hair as he asked her if she wanted whatever she bought gift wrapped. "My, this is a surprise," Shuichi said as he and Himiko entered the shop, making Maki almost jump out of her skin "what might you be doing here?" "That's none of your business!" Maki snapped at him "Cool it Maki," Himiko told her "he only asked a question..." "Where have you been all day?" Shuichi asked "you weren't on the chat this morning, we all thought you were avoiding us..." "Do you not like Christmas Maki?" Himiko asked. Maki sighed and blushed, refusing to look her friends in the eye "I'm not really a festive person...but I wasn't avoiding you," she said "I'm was just...staying away from you all so I could buy you all presents without you knowing..." "Really?" Himiko asked "that's really sweet of you! So, what did you get me?" "I'm not telling you now!" Maki gave a genuine laugh, which was rare, and warmed Shuichi and Himiko's hearts in this cold weather "you'll find out tomorrow" "Ok, fine," Himiko faux-grumbled "but what's in the bag?" Maki took the gift wrapped, bag packed present off of the guy behind the counter, and she and her friends left the toy store together. "This...this is for Kaito," Maki explained "it's one of those...what's it called? A star projector or something? It's like a light that projects a star map all over the walls..." "Oh! You mean a planetarium!" Shuichi exclaimed "nice! He'll love that!" "To be fair, Kaito'll love whatever you give him" Himiko winked. Maki blushed again "So, what do you guys plan on getting your friends/girlfriends?" she said, trying to change the topic. "Well, Himiko suggested that I buy Kaede some headphones, which I might do actually..." Shuichi replied. "Here's an idea," Maki said "alongside the headphones, why don't you buy her a music album? She usually plays random music stuff when we hang out, and she showed me her collection of CD's. It doesn't really need adding to though, it was just a suggestion." "No, that's a good idea," Shuichi smiled "the new series of the album she follows came out recently. I think I might take your advice!" As he said this, Shuichi heard his text sound go off, which hadn't been changed from the "Going over that cliff" scream, making Maki laugh and Himiko jump. He reached into his pocket and saw that his most recent text was from Kokichi. Shuichi sighed and opened it up.

J0K3R: Hey, Shuichi...

Sweetchi: What is it?

J0K3R: I've been looking up Christmas memes...

Sweetchi: of course...

J0K3R: and I think I found a song that suits you...

J0K3R: here...

J0K3R: 

https://youtu.be/3zQ53oXITyk

Sweetchi: is that...

Sweetchi: a mashup of Maria Carrey and My Chemical Romance?

J0K3R: Eyup...

Sweetchi: ...

Sweetchi: do you think anyone'll mind if I save that as my ringtone for Christmas?

J0K3R: I mean...I don't know...

J0K3R: but if they do, then that's all the more reason to do it!

Shuichi sighed and laughed at the message before putting his phone back in his pocket. "Sorry about that," Shuichi smiled at his friends "since you're here Maki, why not join us on our shopping trip?" "You make it sound like I have a choice..." Maki smiled wryly.

That evening, Maki sat alone in her house looking back through the chat group and then noticed the time. "I guess...I should get going..." It was late in the evening and the temperature was very low. However, Maki didn't really feel it. When she thought about it, maybe all the years of being an assassin had turned her blood cold, but even then that couldn't be right. However, she hadn't considered the warm feeling she'd had ever since buying the planetarium in the toy store. Maki wanted to ignore this feeling, but it was the primary reason she had decided to go out that evening. With the gift in hand, she walked down the lit up city streets, passing carol singers and children playing in the snow, until she eventually arrived at an apartment complex. Maki didn't live in this complex, but she had a spare key to one of the buildings. She used it to get inside and walked up to the very top floor. The person she was visiting lived on the very top floor of the apartment building, and his excuse for doing so was that he was much closer to the stars that way. Maki eventually arrived at the door she was looking for and knocked on it three times and rang the doorbell, holding onto the bag that contained the gift she had bought that day. Maki heard footsteps from behind the door and it opened up, with a "Hello?" The door fully opened, revealing the person inside "Oh! Maki Roll!" Kaito smiled merrily "where have you been all day?" "Sorry if I seemed like I was ignoring you but...I was busy..." she replied, not looking at him directly "I...uh...got you this..." Maki held up the bag with the wrapped gift contained inside it. "Oh, for me?" Kaito asked "thanks a bunch! Come inside, it's cold out..." Kaito was happy to the point where he could have been glowing with it. Maki went inside his house, and immediately raised an eyebrow to the sound of an annoyingly upbeat music playing from Kaito's living room. "Are you seriously playing Caramelldansen ?" Maki asked, an evident annoyance in her voice "Well, not exactly..." Kaito replied embarrassingly "more specifically I'm playing the Christmas version..." "There's a Christmas version of fucking Caramelldansen!?" Maki exclaimed "Yeah!" Kaito smiled "I'm just playing a bunch of meme Christmas songs and this came up in the playlist...wait, how do you know what Caramelldansen is in the first place?" he asked a very good question. Maki sighed "the only reason I know is because Ibuki Mioda played the original version really loud in the school building once, and she, Aoi Asahina and Miu all danced to it..." "Wow, how come I never heard of that?" Kaito laughed. Maki grumbled "Are you going to open your present or not?" she asked "Calm down, I was just making sure you were comfortable..." Kaito opened his present and stared at it for a moment. "I hope you don't mind..." Maki said "I got it at a toy store, but I swear I'm not calling you immature or anything..." "No, I love it!" Kaito assured her "thanks! Here, I'll plug it in..." Kaito turned off the living room lights and plugged the planetarium into the wall. The room immediately lit up with constellations all over the walls. "So..." Kaito asked "you planning on staying? Cause I can grab a blanket and make some tea if you want?" "Don't you have family members coming around?" Maki asked "I wouldn't want to interrupt..." "My family visited early today, so it's all good," Kaito assured her "you don't have to stay if you're uncomfortable though..." "No...it's fine...I may as well..." Maki sighed, smiling. Kaito beamed back and the two of them sat together on Kaito's sofa, gazing at the constellations. Kaito had rambled on about constellations way too often before, but this was the first time Maki could actually see what he meant. She sat with him as the two of them stared up at the stars scattered around Kaito's living room. The mood was calm, but Maki still had an uncomfortable feeling in her gut. Usually whenever she got like this, she'd recover from it in her own time, but for some reason, she felt inclined to express herself to Kaito, who was still excitably pointing out every little star. "Kaito...I hate this..." she said. Kaito stopped talking and stared at her silently. "I...I mean I guess you don't seem like the type of person who'd be festive...but is it something I'm doing wrong?" "No, it's not you...well, actually it is, but...you didn't do anything wrong..." Maki replied, but Kaito didn't understand a word she was saying. "People who work in my business...assassins and the people who hire them...they have a code that they stand by," Maki explained "and one of the main aspects of the codes forbids us from forming close relationships with others..." "It forbids you?" Kaito asked, still trying to grasp what she was talking about "why is that?" "Well, from what I've been told, I don't participate in the cleanest of businesses...so I'm naturally going to make enemies of many people in my life. We don't usually form strong relationships in fear that if they find out we have someone special hidden away, they would do whatever they can in there power to hurt them..." "But then..." Kaito said "why did you decide to...you know?" "That's the problem...I don't know..." Maki replied "maybe it's because you were the first person to find out about my real talent and yet still didn't treat me any differently...or rather, you did, but not in any negative way, only trying harder to be my friend..." Maki let herself fall on Kaito's shoulder and rested her head there "I didn't want to get attached, but...I did more than that. I fell in love with you. I don't know how, I don't know why, I just did...and now not a day goes by where I don't worry that someone out there will try and cause you harm. Whether its another assassin trying to punish me for breaking the code, or someone who's looking for revenge... I...don't want that..." Kaito remained quiet for a moment until he finally said "Well, even if they are highly trained assassins, I won't go down without a fight! And besides...I'm more worried about your safety than my own..." "Don't say that you moron!" Maki snapped "you make me worry even more!" "Maki..." Kaito said solemnly "can I admit something to you?" Maki looked at him suspiciously "What is it?" she asked "Ok, this is gonna sound really stupid," Kaito began to say "but when I'm hanging out with you, or Shuichi, or any of the others...sometimes I forget that I'm the Ultimate Astronaut, and that I have a dream of going to space...I know everyone thinks I'm kind of an idiot, but the times where you can get away with acting like an idiot doesn't last, and you've gotta enjoy it to the fullest. What I'm trying to say is, it's Christmas, and I'm happy you even bothered to come round in the first place. Forget your stupid assassin job, ok?" Maki stared at him for a moment and then let out a chuckle "I...guess you have a point..." "How weird?" Kaito joked "you're being honest with your emotions..." "This is what you do to me you idiot..." Maki blushed "I...I hate that I love you..." Maki turned to look at Kaito, but instead turned just in time for him to kiss her on her lips. Flustered at first, Maki closed her eyes and embraced the loving warmth of the one she loved...

HaruMaki: Kaito what did you do?

LOTS: merry christmas to u too maki...

LOTS: did i do something wrong?

HaruMaki: you remember last night?

LOTS: yeh?

Sweetchi: ...wait...

Pian0Fr3ak: wat?

Miu ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: what?

J0K3R: What?

K1-B0: What?

Kiyo: What?

KirumiTOUHOU: What?

YuNarukamami: What?

MsMage: What?

Death2Degenerates: WHAT!?

AtuasWitness: What?

ABugsLife: ???

PlainAsDay: What?

Bagpuss: What?

HaruMaki: ...

HaruMaki: it isn't what you're thinking...

PlainAsDay: doesn't that depend on what we're all thinking?

HaruMaki: If you're thinking something in regard to a child, then it isn't that...

LOTS: o thank god...

LOTS: im not ready to be a dad...

HaruMaki: Same, but that's not what I'm talking about...

HaruMaki: Last night I visited Kaito to give him his present and we chilled while he put a meme playlist on in the background...

HaruMaki: And now I can't get the Christmas version of Caramelldansen out of my fucking head!

LOTS: oh!

LOTS: ...

LOTS: whoops...sorry about that...

Pian0Fr3ak: Wait, hold on...

Pian0Fr3ak: Did you just say Caramelldansen?

HaruMaki: yeah?

J0K3R: THERES A CHRISTMAS VERSION OF CARAMELLDANSEN!?!?

HaruMaki: 

https://youtu.be/GWJHuLOIT-I

J0K3R: end me...

J0K3R: but happy Christmas day or something...

J0K3R: and thanks for the presents, particularly yours Shuichi I love it...

Sweetchi: you're welcome...I guess...

Pian0Fr3ak: I'm almost afraid to ask, but what did you buy him?

Sweetchi: Um...is it ok if I tell them?

J0K3R: y not?

Sweetchi: well basically...

Sweetchi: I got him a teddy bear...

Sweetchi: with sparkly stuff on him.

HaruMaki: ...

HaruMaki: are u for real?

J0K3R: I reject your tormenting

J0K3R: He shall be the second in command of my dark army!

K1-B0: You...really are delusional...

K1-B0: That aside...

K1-B0: I've never had the pleasure of going to a Christmas party before...

K1-B0: So I've decided to hold on, and you're all invited :)

Sweetchi: Really? Then I gladly accept!

Pian0Fr3ak: Same!

Miu ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: I'm the girlfriend, so I've gota be the guest of honour, rite?

K1-B0: Sure thing!

J0K3R: Can I come?

K1-B0: I said everyone was invited, didn't I?

J0K3R: Aw, thx!

LOTS: Count me and Maki Roll in!

HaruMaki: I guess I have to...

Kiyo: That sounds wonderful.

KirumiTOUHOU: I will aid you in providing food if you so wish.

YuNarukamami: If everyone else is goin, then so will I ;)

Bagpuss: Same as him tbh

Death2Degenerates: Sure!

MsMage: I guess I'll come too...

Death2Degenerates: !!!

AtuasWitness: keep in in your pants Tenko...

Death2Degenerates: What?

Death2Degenerates: Keep WHAT in my pants!?!

Writers Note:

Christmas is...totally not here yet, but it's coming!

In like...a month...

Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You know, for a ship that is pretty much canonical, HaruKaito or KaiMaki or whatever you prefer to call it, isn't a ship you see a lot of. In fact, I'm pretty sure there's far more SaiOuma fanart on the internet than there is KaiMaki. I'm not complaining, despite the fact SaiOuma isn't a ship that I like very much, I just think this ship deserves plenty of more love. And I am here to fulfil my beliefs.

And yes, I used the Christmas version of fucking Caramelldansen to do just this! Fight me!

Anyway, to save me having to say it later, I hope everyone has a happy Christmas ;)

And the cast of this nightmare of a fic wish you happy Christmas too!