XXIV
I Hate Therapists!!
~~~

Gar didn't wake up until 11:30 because of how long he was on the phone talking to Raven. And it showed. He hadn't bothered to put on anything decent. Just a white T-shirt with a black stripe through it and a pair of old basketball shorts.

He went downstairs anf his breakfast was cold. Not that he cared. He said good morning to Rita and Steve and sat down to ate his cold eggs and vegetarian bacon. All the while Rita and Steve were quietly arguing in the living room. He could still hear them though, just not exactly what they were saying.

Now that he thought about it, they hadn't said good morning to him yet. And he knows they saw him walk in. He even said good morning to them! What gives? Slightly offended (but not too much because the state of not-giving-a-shit is strong with this one) he walked into the living room to confront them.

"What are you two over here whispering about?" He asks in the most tired, deadpan voice you could think of.

"Um..." Steve looks down at Rita and Rita looks up at Steve. Extreme uncertainty in their eyes.

"Garfield..." Rita says tentatively. She said his full name. Which would normally cause Gar to become extremely worried, but he didn't even bat an eyelash. He just stood there with a blank face and his arms crossed. He was that kind of tired. The tired that desensitized you from literally anything else around you that would shock, sadden, amuse, or elate you otherwise.

"We...uh...heard some of what happened at Prom, so we talked to a few people and–"

Steve impatiently interjects and just lays on the news thick, "We got you a therapist." Gar looks at them blankly with no reaction. "Your first appointment is on Thursday."

"..." Then it finally hit him. His eyes perked up, and the tips of his ears became red with the sudden rush of anger. "WHAT!?!" He shouted. The two winced at the sudden explosion that they expected about a minute ago. "What do you mean a therapist?! Who said I needed a therapist?!"

"Your doctor." Steve replies matter-of-factly.

"I don't care!! I don't need a damn therapist! I hate therapists you know that!"

"Just because you hate them doesn't mean you don't need them." Steve rebuts.

"Gar, you've only been getting worse and worse over the last few months. You say that you can handle it, yet you haven't been making any improvements." Rita explains.

"I have!"

"No you haven't, Gar. You've gotten meaner, colder, and more crude. We know you're having more and more episodes as well." Rita refutes calmly.

"That's a lie!!"

"Gar, stop yelling at think about this objectively: you stopped taking your pills a year ago and then threw them into the woods after one of your episodes. You've been acting different towards other people and you've stopped playing your games as often." Rita replies.

"That...means nothing." He mutters. His fists are clenched and he won't make eye contact with either of them.

"No, Gar, it does. It means a lot. It means that you don't know how to help yourself. You don't even let other people help you! How do you expect to do this all on your own?" Steve snaps back.

"Because I can, Steve! You don't know what I go though!" He jabs his finger an inch from Steve's nose. "You don't know how much I fight just to keep my mind together! You don't understand how many times I just want to punch the everloving shit out of someone because I've had those damned flashbacks!!"

"Gar, language..."

"But I don't! I stop myself and I keep myself together! Every! F***ing! Day! If I've been able to do it for the last 6 years why can't I do it now?! Huh?! Explain that!"

Rita and Steve look at eachother, unsure of what to say next to him. He crosses his arms smugly in triumph. But his triumph wasn't shown in his face. His face showed the most frightening grimace they'd seen from him in a while. They almost forgot how scary he was when he was upset.

"That's what I thought." And that was the end of the conversation in his eyes. He turned to walk away, headed up to his room to stake out up there for the rest of the day.

"Gar..." Rita's voice cut through the tension. Gar stopped and turned his head, but didn't turn around. "You may have been doing that for a long time, and it may have been working, but you're begining to loose yourself. I can see it in the way you move. I can hear it in the way you talk. Why not let someone share the baggage with you? At least for a little bit until you control yourself again?"

He becomes quiet, then just as Steve was about give up and walk away, he opened his mouth and spoke.

"I...already have help..." he replies softly.

"From who?" She asks tentatively.

"Raven..."

"Really??" Steve answers a bit too surprised. "Does she even know?"

Gar looks down at his feet, then back at his guardians behind him. After sighing, he leans up against the wall and looks straight ahead at the opposing wall.

"No, she doesn't. And she won't."

"Then how does she help you?" Steve sounded very confused.

A small smile grew on his face. "Just being there is enough..."

Rita sighs in disappointment and Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

"Sorry Gar, but you need help. Professional help. You're going to see her on tomorrow and that's final." Rita puts her foot down.

Gar scowls at them and gives them a nasty look. "Why do you make it so hard for me to love you two? What even makes you think I'll open up to this bitch anyway? It's a waste of your money. I'm not telling her jack shit."

"She's not a 'bitch', Gar." Rita claims. "Arella said that she's actually very nice."

Gar snapped his head over to them so quickly they could've gotten whiplash from just watching him do it. He stared at them, mouth slightly open, and eyes very wide.

"Arella?"

"Yes. She was the one who approached us and gave us her number. Apparently she was Raven's therapist for a while and she liked her a lot." Rita explains.

"Arella..." he growled.

"She is only trying to help you, Gar." Steve adds.

"Yeah whatever. What's the address?"

"What makes you think we're letting you go on your own?"

"Oh so now you two are going to baby me?"

"With the way you just reacted do you really think we'd trust you to go on your own?"

"I'm going to be 17 in like two weeks!"

"Your point?"

"I–" He paused upon realizing their point. "Fine." He got up off the wall, "I'll go to the stupid appointment as long as you don't baby me..."

"...Alright." Rita settles.

"If we find out you're not going you're grounded the minute we find out." Steve states firmly.

Gar simply scoffs at them and heads back up to his room.

"Send me the address and the time."

"Where are you going?"

"Back to sleep." And with that he slammed the door to the attic and pulled the string up to make sure that they couldn't get in. It wasn't long before they heard the loud chrash of his metal trashcan being kicked into a wall.

Rita sighed and curved her whole face into a frown. Steve however just yawns.

"It's too early for him to be angry at us. Could we not have waited, I don't know, a few hours or something?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "This kid is impossible. This is exactly why he needs a therapist in the first place."

"I hope he doesn't give Arella a hard time. She was just trying to help him." She replies nibbling on the nail of her pointer finger.

"It doesn't matter what she was trying to do, he's going to give her hell to pay regardless." She looks down the hall towards the attic door. "I just hope he's respectful towards her."

~~Thursday May 24th, 3:50 PM~~

"Take a left on Bower Street, and your destination is on your left~" Said the navigation system's robotic female voice. Gar takes a peek at the screen embedded into the car as he stops at the light.

"Sounds like you're almost there." Says Raven over the phone through the car.

"Yeah." He replies with a long, annoyed sigh.

"You don't sound very excited."

"Ugh because I'm not! Therapists annoy the crap out of me, Rae! I've already been through like four of them in only six years!" The light turns green and he makes the left hand turn. "And none of them have ever done me any good." He then pulls into the parking lot of the facility and drives around looking for a spot.

"I'm sure at least one of them did some kind of good."

"The first one I had made me look at photos he forced Rita to bring in of you and a bunch of other things and people from Jump to try and help me get over my homesickness." He explained. "He made me look at pictures of home to make me forget about home."

"...oh. Well what about the other ones?"

"They were fine I guess? I just didn't like them and I didn't like going."

"At least give Valeri a chance ok? For me?" She pulls out her ultimate trump card: the girlfriend card. With those two simple words, he couldn't say no without some major repercussions.

"Fiiinnee, Rae..."

"Thank you. I think you'll like her though. She's really sweet and understanding."

"She sounds like a pushover." Gar stated. He brought the phone to his ear, shut the car door with his foot and locked it, then stuffed the keys in the pocket of his red flannel shirt. Rita made him get out of those lackadaisical clothes against his will.

"She's not. Trust me."

"Sure, Rae. Whatever you say."

"Excuse me sir, are you a patient of Miss Valeri?" A pudgey woman standing next to the door asked. She was holding a plastic blue bucket and smiling from ear to ear, demonstrating only the best of her customer service.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Great! Then I'll take your phone and you can sit in the waiting area!"

"Excuse me?"

"Cell phones are not only distracting, but are also large contributers to many mental issues. So having one of the problems out of the way during a session is the best way to start!"

"What?"

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that. They don't allow cell phones past the front door." The woman pushes the bucket towards him forcefully to urge him to hand over the phone, now making that smile of hers a bit more passive-aggressive than before.

"Great."

"I'll see you later ok? Bye, Gar love yooouuuuu."

"Hold up– Raven–!" She had already hung up on him. "Dammit!"

"Sir," the woman spoke again. Her smile was somehow even more passive-aggressive this time.

Gar grumbled as he placed his phone in the bucket and walked into the waiting area. He was the only one there besides this girl with her hood up and her nose stuffed into a book. She looked up at him and her black bangs fell onto her face, covering one of her eyes. She fixed her glasses and ducked her head right back into her book once he looked at her. Her fixed gaze on him for that moment though was rather odd. Her mouth was open a little, slack-jawed.

She probably realized who she was sitting near. Gar thought. Why does everyone seem to notice who I am?

"Garfield Logan?" He heard his name called. The girl looked up at him again and they made eye contact again.

There was a redheaded woman standing in the door wearing a white camisole and a bright yellow sweater and a pink pencil skirt. With her hair in a side ponytail and her nude flats she looked very professional. Almost like a teacher.

He got up and walked towards the door and he felt the girl's eyes still on him.

Then the door closed and he was left in the room with the woman he assumed was Valeri. She smiled at him, but he gave her a flat, slightly annoyed face.

"Are you going to sit? Of course, we can just stand and look at eachother all day, but I don't think that would be productive." She says joyfully. This woman exudes happiness and passion. And her bright choice in clothing only emphasizes it.

"Uh, sure..." Gar sits down on the long, brown leather therapist chair and she said down in the seat next to him and crossed her legs, putting her clipboard on them.

"So Garfield, you're Raven's friend right?"

"She's my girlfriend." He corrects.

"Oh! She's moved on! That's wonderful! She's told me a lot about you during her visits. I had a feeling she had something for you, but she told me you had moved to Washington."

"I moved back."

"I see. I hope you've had a good stay here since you've gotten back."

"..."

"Well you probably know, but my name is Valeria Smith, but you can just call me Valeri."

"Sure."

"From what Raven, her mother, and your guardians told me, I understand that you have–"

"DON'T...say it...please..." he blurts out, interrupting her. She stares at him looking at the door longingly. She watches as he purses his lips. His eyes are narrowed, but he's messing around with his fingers. He then licks his lips and swallows once.

"Do you happen to have a bad history with therapists, Garfield?" She asks.

He turns to her with wide eyes and a cross face. A mix of awe and concern and confusion. How did she know? Had Arella told her?

"I can tell from your body language that you're nervous and you really don't want to be here." She began to explain. "Raven's mom told me you didn't like receiving help from others and don't like therapists. I figure that that is the only reason for this. Am I right?"

He looks down at the ground and turns his head back forward, still eyeing that door.

"You're quicker than I thought you were..." he adjusts himself in the chair and crosses his arms.

"I've been doing this for a long time." She responds. "Why don't we really get started?"

He twists his lips and turtles himself a little bit. Drawing his arms and his head closer to him.

Damn you, Arella. I really want to leave...

~~5:30 PM~~

Rae💜

Hey I'm finally done. R u free?

No sorry gar

I'm...visting my dad

why?

Because the court ordered it 😡

Talking to him is the most infuriating thing

is arella with you

No

I came by myself

If I have to talk to him im doing it by myself

So I can say whatever the hell I want to him without any witnesses lol

Why do you ask?

I wanted to ask you guys a few things about Valeri

guess I can just ask arella then

Yeah. She should be able to answer anything you ask

You can still text me too

yeah I know

have "fun"

Ugh yeah

Oh they're calling me back

Time to give him a piece of my mind

Bye Gar

☺️

Later ❤️

Good, it's just her. Gar thought. He pulled up in front of Raven's house. Time to give her a piece of my mind.

Gar got out of the car and walked up the steps into the porch or Raven's house. He rings the doorbell an excessively annoying amount of times. The door opens and standing there is a very dull Arella. She's wearing a sweatshirt that looks like it could be a dress and she's got fuzzy socks on. She's definitely got no plans on going anywhere for the rest of the day.

"I knew this was coming." She says blandly.

"Then you'd better have a good explanation ready, Arella." She lets him in and he stands in the room. She shuts the door and looks at Gar who is impatiently waiting for her explanation.

"You don't know how to accept help or even ask for it, so people hardly offer it to you now." He raised an eyebrow. "So I decided to cut out the middle man." He groaned loudly.

"Whyyyy why do you do this to me Arella?!" He whined. "Why do you have to meddle in my life right now?! This is literally the last thing I needed!"

He leans against the wall and slides down it, and his hands down his face all in one motion.

He really wanted to go off on her. He wanted to show just how mad he was at her. Especially since her "reason" was the same thing he'd heard from a billion other people. The redundancy was pretty much unbearable.

But he knew he couldn't. He knew he couldn't just talk to her any old kind of way. Eventhough he was, in some adult's eyes, disrespectful towards her with how he called her by her first name and sometimes treated her like a friend more than the mother of his friend, and he had somewhat neglected his morals and upbringing in the past few weeks, he was raised better than that. He knew better than that.

No matter how friendly he was with her, she was still and adult. A parent. And he had to be civil at the very least and respectful at the very most.

"Gar it kills me to see and hear about you suffering like this. Why do you insist on ignoring help from others?"

"BECAUSE, ARELLA!!" He explodes. "BECAUSE THIS IS PERMANENT!! IT'S NEVER GOING AWAY AND I'M ALWAYS GOING TO SUFFER!"

Awestruck Arella stood there and watched him. She didn't think he'd yell like that. He wasn't just yelling either. Small bulbs of clear emotion suddenly start escaping from his eyes. Trickling down his cheek only to fall into his body beneath him from his jawline and chin.

"Why would you try to fix something that's permanent?! Explain that to me, Arella! Who in their right mind would try and fix something that they knew was permanently broken?!" He set his head down on his knees and wraps his hands around his head. Then he looks up and rests his chin on his arms. "Besides...I don't want help. I'm not worth their time or money, so I don't want them stop spend it on me. I'm a lost cause. I don't even have the strength or confidence to fight for myself half the time." He sniffs. "I'm pathetic..."

He is crying. Constant streams of his clear emotion are flowing now. Arella felt so bad. She essentially just made the boy cry! What should she do? Her motherly instincts kick in and she kneeled down. He isn't sobbing, but he's close. His sniffles are quiet and stifled. He's clearly trying to hide them and it isn't working.

She decides to talk about the one thing she knew will make him smile: her daughter.

"What about Raven?"

"Wh-what?" He looks up at her with the most sadly innocent look on his face. He truly is a pitiful boy.

"Why are you letting her help? Why's she the acception?" She elaborates on her question as calmly as she can. A smile slips onto Gar's face. He sniffs and looks down at the floor.

"Well for one she forced her way in," they laugh a bit.

"Sounds like her."

"But Raven's different than most people who wanna 'help.' I know her and your situation is really different from mine, but she still kinda understands what's happening eventhough I haven't told her exactly what's wrong. She...gets it. She always seems to know just what to say and how to act to stop me from going off the wall. Having Raven with me makes me want to try and fix myself."

Those are the important words. And with that she now finally understands him. He wants to do things himself. Figure it out for himself. He doesn't want others to fix him for him.

"And nobody else is like her?" He shakes his head.

She sighs and shakes her head. She stands up, guiding him up from the floor as she does so. Like his own mother she wipes the tears from his face with her thumb and he gets the rest with his sleeve in embarrassment.

"I know you don't think so, Gar, but you're extremely strong for doing this on your own. I don't doubt that you'll be able to help yourself on your own, because only you really knows the extent of the problem. Even if you tell every single person in the world. But I gave you the therapist because it's not healthy to carry such a load majorly by yourself. Your brain gets tired too you know. It needs a break once in a while. You understand?"

He hesitates, and then nods, "I understand."

"Please just think about it, Gar. I know that you think asking for help is more of a sign of weakness than anything, but it's not. Especially in your case, it's a sign of growth and maturity. So don't be afraid. Ok?"

"I don't think so...but...thanks, Arella." He sniffs again and wipes the tears away. "I think I'll leave now. Now I'm embarrassed...heh..." he scratches his head.

"I have to go pick up Raven in an hour. You can come with me if you like." She offers.

"No...I think I just need time to think." He opened the door and walked out onto the porch. Now with the door dividing them. He smiles and walks away. His eyes still puffy from all the crying. She watches as he turnsnot towards home, but towards the city. He is going to take a walk to sort out his thoughts.

She really hopes what she said is helpful to him.

Or else he really is a lost cause.

Word Count: 3736