As I looked out the window of my dad's Caprice and occasionally stealing glances at Eli, I couldn't help but feel nervous.

I was so consumed with anger at the hospital, but it's just the thought of being so close to Michael and even his family after the truth came out made me anxious.

My heart was doing somersaults and my thoughts swirled. The stares of his family, them judging me. The Jackson's are sweet people, but they are just that..people. They have their own minds, thoughts, and opinions and I will never take that from them. Plus, I made this bed so I have to-well you know the rest.

I'm sure they will have a lot to say when I'm there. Hell, they'll probably have a lot to say when I'm not around.

And Michael. If I could avoid Michael forever I would. I know I said in the hospital that if he leaves he'll never see Eli again. Who am I kidding? If I meant it, I wouldn't be on my way to his house now. Plus, I would never keep Elijah away from his father or his father away from him. Growing up without my mother made me empathetic towards Elijah. I longed for him to have what I didn't, a normal family. Although he would never have a normal family with a dad like THEE MICHAEL JACKSON and the uncles he has, I wanted him to have a better family structure than I do.

Though I have Donna by side since the day my dad brought her to the house to meet me, I couldn't help but feel empty from time to time and question myself.

What is wrong with you that your mother didn't want to stay? Do you think she'll be proud of you having a baby at 18? Out of wedlock? Will she be disgusted by what she sees?

I mean, every little girl needs her mother and I can't help but feel this is the time in my life that I needed mine the most. She could have taught me how to be a mother, but there is one thing she did teach me about being a mother.

You never walk out on your kids!

As my dad entered the gates of the Encino compound, I felt my heart in my stomach but I instantly looked at Eli and felt at peace.

"Goddamn Ed! I'm glad you made it cause you were about to kill us in this car. You ever see that thing in the window that says 'Baby On Board'? That's the same sticker I'm going to get you because you act like as if you the only one in the car." Donna fussed at dad.

I begin gathering everything I needed like Eli's diaper bag and just placing my wallet in his bag.

After dad parked, I unstrapped Eli careful not to wake him.

"Alright little man, are you ready to meet your daddy's family?" I asked him

"Don't make the baby cry" Donna said as she exited the car.

"Hush up. They're so excited to see you and they're going to shower you with kisses and love." I said.

I just want to instill in Elijah that his family is a safe haven for him and will always love him and be a support and safety net just like Donna and dad will be.

After exchanging the diaper bag for Elijah with Donna, I slid out the backseat and closed the door but the abrupt slam startled little Eli.

He jumped and with his beautiful doe eyes he opened them and furrowed his almost non-existent eyebrows. I quickly placed the blanket over his carrier to keep the sun out of his face. To my surprise, he didn't even whine but now he was wide awake.

Just in time to meet the Jackson's.

As soon as I approached the porch of the compound, I was greeted by Mrs. Jackson.

"Oh, hello. How are you? You look beautiful." She gave me a slight hug as I kissed her cheek. I could hear Donna huff under her breath as she trailed behind dad into the beautiful mansion.

Luckily Elijah was not heavy and I could tolerate holding this damn carrier, especially with shaky hands. I walked passed Mrs. Jackson and walked pass the foyer into one of the living rooms she directed me to.

I felt as if I was walking into the Lion's Den, I was so consumed with the thoughts of anxiety, stares, and judgement that I just wanted to quickly sit down and the attention would be switched to the man of the hour.

Eli

I walked so fast that I quickly passed by Michael himself and his siblings that greeted me with 'Hello' or squeals from the girls, which I'm guessing was for Elijah. I settled at a nearby loveseat, putting Elijah's carrier right in front of me on the floor. I pulled back his blanket slightly.

"Oh my, look at him!" Rebbie gasped.

"He's gorgeous" Rebbie added.

"I want to see, I want to see" Janet said as she cuddled up next to Rebbie.

"Calm down Jan" Rebbie said as everyone laughed at how excited Janet was.

I put his blanket over my lap and pulled him gently out of the carrier.

I sat him on my lap briefly as everyone admired him. They drank his features in and commented on a few along the way. 'He has a head full of hair', 'He's so handsome', 'Awwweee look at him, he must be tired. Look at him yawning', 'He has Michael's nose'.

As everyone continued to gawk, I took the time to scan the room. The room was decorated beautifully with baby blue, and white balloons, streamers, a clothed table that held a few gifts on it. Some small snacks on the coffee table as well. I noticed every Jackson was there, except the big bad man himself Joe. However, I didn't let that ruin my mood.

It felt good to know that Elijah was loved by his new family.

"Thank you everyone for putting this together on such a short notice, I appreciate it all. And I'm sure Elijah loves it too." I said as I looked down at him. He was mesmerizing and breathtaking.

"You are more than welcome Tayler. We appreciate you allowing us to see him. I know after giving birth you want to relax and just bond with the baby but you came here. Just know if you ever need anything, do not hesitate to come and ask us for anything." Katherine explained.

I smiled up at her.

"And if you ever need a babysitter, I don't mind watching this little guy for you." LaToya said while touching one of Eli's hands.

"Yeah same for me." Janet added.

I chuckled a bit.

I wanted to look over at Michael, but my nervousness made me stop and just keep my eyes on Elijah only. I hated that he had this effect on me. My body reacted to his presence. My body was rigid,like I was scared to move. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, my heart sped up, and I couldn't help but feel myself blush at the thought of him and of what we used to be. And though he was behind me, I could still smell his woody scent that lingered like he was sitting right up under me.

"Everybody say cheese" before I knew it Tito was snapping pictures of the newest member of the family with the Jackson's surrounding him.

"Can you say baby?" Dee Dee asked Taryll, the last newest edition.

"Michael why don't you give Tayler a break and hold him" Katherine suggested.

"Yeah let me get a good picture of you holding him Mike." Tito stated.

For some reason there was pen drop silence and the air became thick. I heard steps coming around and before I knew it the lanky frame of Michael Jackson stood in front of me. He stood in all his glory with his perfect round Afro, high cheek bones, and radiant smile that he tried to hide with a subtle lip bite. He was nervous to be around me.

Truth be told, I was probably more nervous than him.

He cradled Elijah and planted soft kisses on the side of his head, which made Elijah fussy. Haha, guess I should've told him that Eli hates kisses.

"Awweee come on Elijah, your daddy's not that ugly." Marlon joked and the klan laughed with the exception of Katherine.

"I knew I liked you Marlon" Donna said from the opposite side of the room.

I knew deep down that hurt Michael because he shared with me in private how it hurts that his family would bag on his looks. He was his worst critic so it was hard to convince him otherwise when he felt so strongly about himself. Michael is a vulnerable soul that is sensitive, more sensitive than most will realize.

"Well Marlon, if he's ugly then my baby is ugly too because that's Michael's twin so if you have a problem with him you have a problem with me." I pretended to crack my knuckles.

Everyone laughed, but I was serious.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so hellbent on sticking up for Michael. It wasn't like me and him were the best of friends, we're not even on speaking terms. How could I forget that he didn't even call me nor did he come back last night to check on the baby. How could I forget him not being there for me throughout my pregnancy?

I guess this what it must feel like when you're in love because even through all of that, I still wanted to be with Michael. I don't know what has came over me and where these new found feelings are coming from, but I wish I could suppress it because the minute Michael sniffs out my emotions for him at this moment, he's going to feel he can get away with anything. If we're being honest, Michael could get away with murder when it comes to me.

"Aww come on now mama bear, relax" Carol, Marlon's wife patted my shoulder.

"Ok, everyone look this way and say 'baby'"Tito said.

"Baby" everyone said in unison with a smile.

"Baby" Taj, Tito's oldest said which made the air light and made us chuckle again.

"Hey, can I hold him? Pretty please" Janet looked between me and Michael

"Yeah Jan, but make sure you wash your hands because he can get sick because he's still new" I explained.

She sped away laughing and came back.

"Clean as a whistle" Janet beamed.

I got up and sat her in my spot making sure she sat completely back in the seat. Michael handed her the baby and I taught her how to hold his head up. I stood back and stared at her.

My heart felt so full as I watched everyone doting over him, fussing about who was going to hold him next. Trying to make him smile by lightly tickling his small tummy. Just watching Michael interact with Eli and constantly reminding Janet to support his head just reinforced that I made the right decision by keeping him. The immense love for my baby drowned out any elephant that may have planted itself in the room the minute I walked in. I was happy for it too.

Maybe this is a sign that everything can go back to normal.

I decided to go to the bathroom after Mrs. Jackson announced that lunch was almost ready. As I was walking to the bathroom someone had called out to me. Honestly, the time of me being there I didn't even noticed she was present in the room.

Jackie's wife, Enid.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?". Enid inquired

"Sure, what's going on?" I asked as I stopped in front of the bathroom door.

"I don't want to hold you up so I'm going to make this quick". Enid stepped closer to me.

I eyed her up and down because I knew this would be some bullshit that I certainly was not in the mood for.

"Let me tell you something, it takes a lot more than a baby to come into this family. I'm a Jackson, I bare the last name and I wear the ring that my HUSBAND Jackie gave me. Do you understand? It takes a lot more than trying to sleep with two Jacksons-." Enid said.

Before she could finish, I had to say something. Honestly, my blood started boiling when she said 'let me tell you something' , but I just had to hear what she was going to follow up with.

"Enid, I don't know what you think you are doing or what you think you know, but I suggest that you back up out my face because I just had a baby, my breast are leaking milk, and I am this close to kicking your ass." I said.

"Mmhmm. I knew you were trash, but let me tell you this. This is your last warning. Stay away from my husband, if you know what's good for you. I heard about the incident at the restaurant yesterday and just like a man I knew my husband was lying about it when I asked him. If I can't keep him in check, I will certainly check the women who are throwing themselves at him." Enid finished.

"You must be two sandwiches short of a picnic basket so let me say this slow. I don't want your damn husband. And baby, if I wanted him I could have him on a silver platter, on a table cloth with some dipping sauce do you hear what I'm saying?"

Before I walked off, I had to say one final thing.

"Oh yeah, and I'm not the Holland you have to worry about trying to take your Jackson." I revealed, hinting at the fact it was my cousin Lydia who had signed her name all over Jackie.

I slightly slammed the bathroom door and proceeded to use the bathroom.

"The nerve of that damn girl. You know what Tayler, it's ok. Just-just get through this lunch and in about two hours you can just tell everyone you're too tired to stay and you can go home with your new baby. Away from all this crazy Jackson drama." I said to myself as I looked at myself in the mirror.

I fluffed out my afro puffs.

"Lord please don't let there be anymore drama because I can't handle it anymore."

With that I left out of the bathroom and bumped into someone else.

Michael

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Enid had already bothered me and I was mentally beating myself up for being so relaxed with Michael, I just wanted this visit to be over because my head was killing me.

"Hey, I just came to check on you. You were gone for a while." Michael said quietly.

"I'm fine, thank you for checking on me." I answered

He nodded.

"Listen, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for bringing him here. I know right now we're not on the best of terms, fact is we haven't even spoken since the argument yesterday. I wanted to apologize for leaving him, well the both of you." He said.

"Like I haven't heard that one before, yeah thanks Michael."

"I'm being serious Tayler. I know I haven't been doing my job and I just want to say I'm sorry and that I realize that it's not just about me or about you but about us as a family. Though we're not one officially. I just want to make sure we are raising Elijah as a unit and giving him the love and support he needs."

Once again, I've been dying for Michael to say those words to me, I wanted to smile so badly, but I suppressed it. I just didn't want him to think that everything was sweet. It's nice to have an apology, but what does an apology truly fix? Nothing, I just need action. That's the best apology to me.

"Did you realize this before or after you left me? Or maybe you were so busy stressing about this that you didn't have time to call me to ask how we were doing." I gave a curt smile.

I didn't want to say those things, but they kind of just flew out. You ever just held something in for so long or was so annoyed that anybody who came your way would feel the wrath that you already had brewing inside of you. Unfortunately, Michael has to get a taste of the wrath.

"I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry, but Jospeh wouldn't let me leave or call you. I wanted to believe me." He tried to explain.

I scoffed.

"You tried? Let me tell you something."

Here goes that phrase again, that phrase that is always right before a shit show.

"Can't no man tell you when to check up on your family. Elijah and I are your family, you know what scratch that. Eli is your family and if you cannot accept that responsibility you need to step away. I will not stand by and watch you play double dutch with our son. One minute you're in, you're out, you're in, you're out. And frankly Michael, I'm not having that. Stop coming to me with excuses cause men, REAL men don't make up excuses. Right now, it shouldn't matter what Joseph wants, it's about Elijah now and if he can't see that well forget him." I finished proudly.

I heard someone clear their throat.

Michael and I turned in that direction to be faced with Jospeh.

Oh shit.

"We need to talk. Meet us in the garden now." He turned and walked away.

Talk? Now? Us?

What the hell are we discussing?

And just like that I was back to being nervous, and just like that the big ass pink elephant was back taking up the room.

"Well come on, we can finish this later." Michael reasoned and begin walking ahead of me.

Being the smart ass that I was I replied back: "There's nothing to finish, this conversation is over. Either you step up or step out, it's on you." I bumped him gently with my hips just to give him something to hold on to while he watched me walk away. Because honestly this will be the last time Michael felt anything of mine.

Tayler 1, Michael 0.

~
I sat across from Mrs. Jackson and Joe, while dad and Donna sat on either side of me. I wasn't sure what this conversation would be about, but I knew two things. It could go right or it could go left, way left.

The air was thick and silent, with the exception of the family's dog lapping up water and a few birds chirping in the distance. Not wanting to make eye contact with anybody at the moment, I took a chance to look around. It was a beautiful day in California and if it wasn't for my baby or this awkward moment with the Jackson's I would be at the beach. Probably soaking up the sun and enjoying the few teenage years I had left.

Well I can trade my bikini in for my pacifier because my days are pretty much over.

"Well we brought you both out here to talk." Joe said, interrupting my thoughts.

Obviously, but what about.

"Joe what about we let the kids eat first and then we have this conversation." Mrs. Jackson suggested.

"No Katherine, I think this moment is the time to discuss with the kids about how will we move on from this day going forward." Joseph stated.

"Going forward? How so?" I questioned.

Donna patted my knee, telling me to just let him finish, but I couldn't. I didn't like how this conversation was going already.

Then I noticed a few documents that sat on the table between Joseph's arms.

"What are those?" I questioned.

This is not a damn business meeting so what the hell are those for?

"Ok so because you two aren't married and I guess you haven't decided on what to do next as far as being together. Michael is in the middle of his career with his brothers and you, well you are figuring your thing out. We thought it would be a good idea for you to sign one of these documents that prevents you from going to the media with this story." Joseph placed the documents in front of me.

My mouth hung so low, I knew I was catching flies. But right now, it's best if I catch flies then open my mouth and ruin this family with just a few words.

"You sign one document that says you will not go to the press with this story or you can sign one that says if you do go to the press and want to sell pictures of the baby and have a magazine spread that you first converse with the family about this decision and you will spin that narrative that you and Michael are engaged."

This is low, even low for Joseph Jackson.