"Ok there he is. Its a boy." Dr.Jenkins announced with a smile. He began pointing to the screen informing me where his penis is, where his head is, and his hands.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The world is definitely changing around me. I thought I had to wait to see what the sex of my baby is till he gets here, but this is perfect. Now I have to make sure I get the appropriate clothes for him. No more unisex.

I feel my eyes water as I hear my baby's heartbeat. Every time I hear it, it all seems new to me. This reminds me of the day I found I was pregnant.

~
Flashback

I was on the phone with Michael as usual when Donna barged in my room. Hang up the phone she mouthed to me. I sucked my teeth "Listen Michael I'll call you back. I love you." I waited till he said it back to hang up.

This better be good. I sat up in bed looking at her face, it was so hard I couldn't read her emotions. It was concern mixed with anger, but why?

"Neil called me, he said you weren't feeling well earlier and you threw up during your recording session."

I thought Neil worked for me, he was my manager. He promised not to say anything.

"What is going on with you? You've been throwing up-" "It just happened yesterday." I try to lie my way out of the situation. "I hear you in the bathroom gagging in the night. Why haven't you said anything to me or your father? We're concerned about you."

Truthfully I was scared about what was going on. I didn't want to accept that something was wrong with me. Not this soon in my career, not now.

"I'm fine." She sucked her teeth. "Fine? You don't eat anymore and when you do you eat, it's lots at a time, maybe thats why you throw up. You need to eat properly. You're more drowsy than usual."

"I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that? Everything is so new to me I have a new schedule to keep up with. I'm tired is all. My body is just getting adjusted." I looked at the ground not wanting to look at her.

"I knew this was a bad idea. Me and your father need to have a conversation about this singing stuff because its straining you." I was burning with anger. Here I am busting my ass doing everything everyone asks of me: Listening to Donna and my dad, manager, record label, and publicist. And Donna wants to take it all away.

"No! You cannot do that. I can do this. I'm just getting started." I wanted so bad to tell her you are not my mother, but I just wanted her to listen not hurt her in the process. "If its hurting you I can do as I please."

"You don't even know whats wrong with me!" Hell I don't even know whats wrong, but I will not allow Donna someone who is suppose to be a supportive parent knock me 3 steps back when I take two forward.

"Then tell me! Tell me whats going on? I'm just scared for you." I saw her getting frustrated, but I had no explanation. "I said I'm fine!" I raised my voice a little.

"You're going to the Doctor tomorrow, depending on what they say your are going to put this singing mess on the back burner." I nod not wanting to argue anymore.

I can't believe Donna. Mess? She thought my hard work was just a bunch of mess. Singing isn't just some hobby, it is my life. I enjoy what I do, I enjoy the look on people's faces when I open my mouth, I love the rush I get, and not to mention I want to make history I want to show people I can add to this culture. Music isn't just some thing, its healing.

It's a way of life.

I called Michael back explaining what happened. I don't keep nothing from him,besides me not feeling well. I just don't want him worry about me. He asks me a bunch of questions why I didn't tell him anything? How was I feeling?

I was shitting bricks.

What is the outcome?

I don't want to stop singing.

Michael calmed me down. Putting my mind at ease and slowing down my accelerated heart beat.

The next day I was nervous as we got closer to the Doctor's office. Bouncing my leg up and down and shaking every few minutes. Donna noticed my strange demeanor and patted my thigh and gave me a reassuring facial expression, letting me know everything will be fine.

When I got to the back, the Doctor began asking me questions I felt my heart stop when asked me "Have you been sexually active?" Donna snapped her neck at me and I merely shook my head and answered confidently.

In fact I was having sex, but not lately because how sick I was feeling. I felt disgusted for some reason, and I didn't want Michael to see me that way. Its just something about his nature that you don't want to disappoint him.

After I peed in a cup the Nurse took it from me and the Doctor motioned me to lay back on the examination chair. "Since you have been complaining about some stomach pain and not being able to keep food down. I want to be sure its not a tumor or an ulcer."

I shiver one more time as he moved the remote on my stomach after he puts that gel on there. My stomach was hurting more than ever due to the butterflies I was getting. I looked at Donna who's eyes was plastered to the monitor.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! I heard a rapid sound that caught my attention I looked at the screen, not being able to tell what is going on inside me. I wish this damn Doctor will open up his mouth.

He told Donna to leave for a minute, I automatically started to panic. He begin talking but I wasn't listening until he said the unexpected.

"Thats the baby right there. The head, the buttocks, its very tiny." I blinked trying to absorb what the hell he just said. "What?" I finally breathed out. "You're pregnant."

I felt tears sting my eyes. I just couldn't swallow what he just told me. Here I am petrified that I won't be able to sing anymore due to my hectic schedule, but I'm carrying a child. Not just a child but the beloved Michael Jackson's child.

"You're about 3 months. Have you been missing your period?" I covered my face with my hands breaking down shaking my head up and down. I sniffed loudly as the Doctor rubbed my arm for comfort. This wasn't suppose to happen.

"You have to start taking care of yourself. You have to eat more, more healthy too. Take it easy with always being on the go, you have to rest. I will prescribe you some vitamins to take. You'll feel better in no time."

I just sobbed as he talked. He told me he has to tell Donna whats going. My mind begin spinning as I tried to wrap my head around being pregnant, shattering my dreams, and crushing my parents right along with it.

Donna came in noticing my distraught behavior. She stroked my head asking me What's going on? While becoming chocked up herself. I couldn't say it I just continued sobbing, letting out a loud cry when the Doctor professed my pregnancy for me.

Donna backed up hitting the wall and sitting down in the chair. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I cried as she looked at me and put her head in her hands. She looked up at me trying to hold back her emotions. "Its ok. Everything is going to be fine. Don't worry, shhh." She cooed as she held me in her arms rocking me.

After getting the sonogram pictures from the Nurse I headed home, lying in bed.

I couldn't cry anymore. Once in a while a few tears would slip as I think about what am I going to do about singing. What is my dad going to say? Most importantly what is Michael going to say? Oh God his parents! I knew he was a Jehovah's Witness and they frowned upon sex before marriage. Michael and I never talked about marriage. Are we going to get married now?

As much as I love Michael and want to be with him for eternity, I want him to marry me because he wants to not because he has to.

That same night when dad came home, I was shitting bricks and sweating bullets. I sat up in bed still shivering. I braced myself for his reaction. Waiting to hear him come upstairs or hear him yell out to me.

Before I knew it he came in my room. "Lets go." He said in such a sorrowful tone "Put on your shoes" he added. I did as I was told and grabbed my jacket. The car ride to wherever we are headed is eerie. I was scared to even breathed.

After I realized where we were headed, we were already there at Michael's house. I gasped out loud looking out the window. No! Not now I don't want him to find out now. Not like this.

We pulled up to his house and I slowly got out as my parents were already greeted by Katherine. "We need to talk, where is Michael?" My dad said as Donna stood there by his side. Katherine looked at me, and I tried to hold my emotions.

"Whats this about?" Katherine asked looking between all three of us. "May we come in?" Donna requested politely. Katherine obliged escorting us to a sitting area. I never thought I would be so scared to see Michael. When I saw him and Joseph I felt tears form in my eyes, before I could blink them away they fell from my eyes.

Michael stared at me, he had fear written all over his face. My father and Joseph shook hands as he sat.

"I don't mean to disturb your household this late, but we received some news today that involves your son." Joseph shifted his eyes between Michael and I, I have never feared him until now. Donna placed her hand on my dad's back comforting him as he let the words fly out of his mouth.

"She's pregnant." Katherine's face soften as Joseph's face hardened. I shifted in my seat as all eyes were on me. "Boy are you stupid?!" Joseph hollered at Michael. "Joe. Michael now you know we don't tolerate sex before marriage. What were you thinking? Can you even handle being a father? Are you ready for that type of responsibility?" I saw her put her head down as she became chocked up.

"No! Katie he has to be ready. Let me tell you something boy. I built this and you are destroying it. You are going to tear this family apart all because you want to be a man and stick your dick anywhere you please?" Joe asked in disgust. "Joe!" "KATHERINE! No!" Their voices overlapped.

"THATS IT! ITS OVER! YOU HAVE ONLY YOURSELF TO THANK FOR THAT! ALL THOSE YEARS I WORKED TO BRING YOU GUYS OUT OF GARY AND YOU SAY FUCK ME BY KNOCKING UP THIS GIRL!"

I read Michael's face that had tears already on his cheeks. I wanted to save him from being chastised. Just because my life is over doesn't mean that his has to be.

"ITS NOT MICHAEL'S!" I shout cutting Joseph off. "What?" My father said. I looked up at Michael "I'm sorry, but its not Michael's." It hurt me physically to say those words. I didn't want Michael to believe that this really wasn't his. I was in too deep.

"Its not Michael's. While I was walking home from the studio. I was attacked from behind by knife point and he- and he- he." I chocked not being able to finish the lie. The pain I was already experiencing caused tears that sold this story. Donna came over comforting me. "Why didn't you say something? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to face this alone."

"I'm sorry we caused trouble Joe." My father apologized. "Well thats over with." He got up to leave.

I cannot forget the look on Michael's face. I would never forget it.

~
Present day

Thank God Michael called me that same night. He understood, but disagreed. That night we both cried together. Nevertheless, Michael being a man told me everything would be fine and he'll take care of us.

I believed him, I believed he would be there. Maybe he just doesn't know how. You know what? No more excuses!

I have a son who will look up to me. I can't teach a man how to be a man. But you know what it looks like I have to.

I'll love my son and take care of him with or without Michael.