It's NOT Just A Name

With the baby sleeping and Tayler still recovering, both sets of parents decided it was time to go and give the little family their time alone. Of course Donna wouldn't leave without a fight, but Ed her husband reassured her that they would be back in a few hours to come visit them.

After the name reveal, the air was thick and it was an obvious elephant in the room. However, no one acknowledged it.

Still fascinated with the birth of their son, the two admired the baby as he slept. Occasionally rubbing some part of his body and exchanging glances. Nonetheless no words were said.

Michael's POV:

Shock.

Shock is the only word I can use to describe the past few hours.

Shock that I finally spoke to Tayler's father, shock Mr. Holland let me see my son being born, shock to see him come into this world, shock that he is actually a healthy baby boy, and shock that she didn't even give him my last name. I'm shocked that he is even here.

Although I was consumed with the happiness my newborn son had given me, I was starting to become upset that she had not given him my last name.

It was almost as if he was not mine.

I know it sounds silly because its just a name, but it meant more than that to me. I wanted him to carry something of mine, something that represents my family's strength. I grew up with the installation that the Jackson name was strong and powerful representing the men of our family. Jackson was something to be proud of and I wanted my son to carry my legacy.

I never really thought about having a kid, and at the age I am that's understandable. I have to admit the thought appeared in my head a few times, but now that he's here it seems everything is full circle. I started off singing, wanting to be the best, wanting to leave a mark on the world and I still feel that way now. Only difference is I am slightly achieving that because everywhere I go everyone knows the Jackson name or a Jackson song. People of all colors, ethnicities, nationalities, and backgrounds know me or my brothers. I currently have a small legacy in this entertainment industry, but when I leave this world it won't mean much. I want my son to carry on with who I am and not what I do, but she is taking that away from me.

I stood by her bed as we both watch him sleep peacefully as I had my finger in his clutched hand, I couldn't help but be at peace with the world.

Elijah was now my peace.

"He has your nose." she spoke up.

I broke my gaze and looked at her, but she quickly shifted her eyes. The tension was definitely there.

I looked down at Elijah carefully examining him once more. I smiled as I realized he did have something of mine, but why my nose? I wish he didn't because I hate my own. Its too wide and I am constantly being teased about it, I hope that does not happen to him.

Having his health being compromised even before he came into this world, immediately made me protective over him. As his father it is my job to protect him and I will guard him with my life. I never want to see my son hurt again. If someone were to hurt him, I don't even know what I'd do. But I do know one thing, even with the nose I grew to resent, my son is beautiful to me.

"I wish he didn't though." I finally said.

I guess I took too long to say something because she asked:

"What?"

But she quickly recovered.

"Your nose?"

I nodded in response and she sucked her teeth, clearly showing how annoyed she was.

"Michael, your nose is beautiful. We've been over this a thousand times and of course I can't do anything to make you change your mind or make you feel better; as a matter of fact, I'm not trying to change your mind or make you feel better. I think you are handsome just the way you are. Nose big or small, I don't care and so many others feel that way. You have to stop letting what people say about you get to you because people are going to talk till you die and there is nothing you can do. There is nothing wrong with you and if people feel that way then there is something wrong with them." she explained.

I couldn't hide that goofy look on my face, but I disguised it as being happy to seeing Elijah stir in his sleep a bit.

There she was, there was that fire I fell head over heels for. No matter how bad I felt about myself or anything, she always built me back up again. It was times like that where I fell in love all over again. Just by looking into her eyes or just hearing how she passionately spoke about me I could tell she meant every word.

Tayler was genuine.

Maybe marrying her won't be so bad.

"He has your long fingers and feet." she started

"Hell, it looks like you made him all by yourself. I don't see me at all." she finished.

"Aye watch your mouth around my son." I said.

"Your son, so I guess you were on top of yourself huh?" she teased.

"No baby, you were definitely on top of me." I giggled out.

She playfully hit my stomach, but we both shared a laugh together.

I missed that laugh so much, it was intoxicating.

And that smile. She turned every head when she smiled. Forget lighting up the room, she was the light.

"I can't stand you, better be lucky you are cute." she pouted a bit.

"Oh so you think I'm cute?" I teased.

"I was talking to the person behind you smart ass." she said back.

"Ouch mama, I'm going to have to do something with that mouth of yours because you can't seem to control it." I smirked at her.

I couldn't help it when I was around her to be a bit more flirtatious. I loved the teasing and the sexual frustration I would cause her. It was a bit entertaining, but also I just couldn't get a enough of her and I wanted her to squirm right in my hands.

"Mr. Jackson I promise you with a mouth like mine, you can't control it baby."

"Baby, I won't need to control it. You'll give in to me, there is no need to control. And I concur, there is no mouth like yours" I said as I rubbed the pad of my thumb across her bottom lip.

We might have been joking, but I was serious. I missed her.

I missed her tender body, her smooth lips, her taste, and nimble fingers as she played with my afro as I peppered her in gentle kisses, the nervous way she laughed when I initiated the smallest intimacy, and the soft way she bites my lips to show some form of aggression when she knew that I was breaking her down in the bed.

The more I thought about this, I wanted her in every possible way imaginable.

I slipped my hand from Elijah's grip, grabbing Tayler's face gently but firmly.

Taken a back by the action she parted her plump lips as she gasped and I took the chance to devour her sweet lips.

I kissed her with everything I had inside of me. Just seeing her give birth, it really made me see her strength; making me fall more in love with her in that moment. Just knowing that she had my child made me love her, but the way she was talking back to me made me want her.

I had to have her, all this was building up while our parents were here. Thank God they left because I couldn't control myself any longer.

She begin caressing my jacket covered arms and not having that skin to skin contact she groaned. She trailed her hands up to my neck, rubbing the sides of it.

Just feeling her touch me produced a spark. That spark set something off in my mind because before I knew it I stopped kissing her.

I looked her in her eyes and that's when I knew I had to do it.

"Marry me" I breathed out.

It was almost natural for me to say it, I didn't feel forced or coerced. I wanted her to be mine forever.

She searched my eyes for some truth or some type of inkling that this was some kind of a joke.

"What?" she asked.

I smiled almost chuckling at the look on her face.

"Marry me baby, marry me." I repeated.

The more I said it the more I wanted it. However, her taking so long just made me feel she was very apprehensive about it.

I saw her mouth trying to form words, but she couldn't.

Then my smile dropped.

She didn't want me, not how I wanted her.

She sighed.

"Michael, we can't." she finally spoke up.

I let go of her face and turned my back towards her, dropping my head in embarrassment.

"Michael its not that I don't." she reasoned.

"Look I get it, I know you don't. Please don't try to make me feel better because right about now I feel very stupid and low."

Truth is I felt shitty, but I couldn't bring myself to curse around my son.

"Michael its not that. It's just we can't." She said it again.

Feeling annoyed by her answered, I became angry.

"We can't or you can't Tayler?"

I didn't know where this was going, but hell I had to say something.

"I know I messed up believe me I do, just seeing him here now is making me feel guilty. I'm just trying to do what's right, I'm just trying to show you I do really love you and our son." I spoke with more anger, than hurt. I explained.

"Exactly! you want to do what's right. Michael we don't even have a relationship anymore because of the dumb shit you have been pulling. You think because I have your kid that we can just bop our asses down the aisle, that I will forget everything you have done? That's why we can't because you feel guilty and you are only marrying me because of him." she raised her voice a bit.

This commotion has cause Elijah to stir more than usual, I saw him blink but close his eyes. He made some slight whining noises and before he could persist, she picked him up; right when I was about to.

"Don't tell me how I feel about you. You know I love you, I'm not going to lie, him being here really put things in perspective for me. I just want to be the man you deserve." I said.

"The man I deserve?" she scoffed.

"The man I deserve would not have been leaving me in the dark for the past 8 months, the man I deserve will not be spending their free time with some tramp, while his pregnant girlfriend waits by the phone for a call, the man I deserve would have been to my doctor's appointment, the man I deserve would have stuck his neck out for me and not allow me to lie for him-"

Before she could continue I had to speak up.

"Hold up, I didn't tell you to lie for me. You did it willingly. I didn't make you do anything so don't put that on me."

"So now its my fault." she asked as she switched the baby to her left arm because he was crying at this point.

"Its not your fault. Listen I don't want to talk about this in front of him." I said as I sat down.

"Oh now you care about him? If you did, you would have been there consistently." she stated as she placed the pacifier in his mouth.

"Is that why you didn't give him, my last name?" I asked.

"Out of spite?" I added.

"Out of spite? No Michael because you weren't there yes. You should have been and then he would bare your last name, as far as I'm concerned he's mine. Its cute that you are here now, but guess what? you were there in the beginning, but then you dipped. How can I rely on you? Why would I give him a last name of a man, who isn't guaranteed to be there."

"You will not say that about me, dammit! I love him and I will be present in his life."

I just put my head down. Between arguing and the baby's constant whining my head was hurting and I didn't even want to talk about this anymore.

Without a word, I got up and made my way to the door.

"Yeah, walk out like you always do. I guarantee you leave you won't see him again." she said.

"You are crazy." I turned around and said.

"I'm glad you noticed."

I had to go for the sake of Elijah, it was not healthy for him to hear his parents arguing. I walked over to her and kissed his head before she could move him away from me, then I left.

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