Looking at my phone, my fingers hover over the buttons. To text or not to text: is the question, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer... I refer to Shakespeare's Hamlet (Act 3, scene 1) except that it doesn't talk about texting.

I start typing.

Me: Hi, it's Ghost from highschool. Just making sure I have the right number... This is Will, right?

I send it and wait for a reply. Most people don't use basic grammar or punctuation in texts, so I try not to think about whether I said the right thing. While waiting, I sit on my bed and look at the half-written essay on my desk. I decide not to finish it yet - that's a problem for the future me.

The good thing about my parents is that they're both workaholics, so they both work quite long hours. Thus, I only see them after 5pm roughly. Which leaves me with enough time to procrastinate and look at sad quotes on Pintrest.

I pick up my copy of The Catcher in the Rye by J.D.Salinger and flick through to my favourite pages. I stop to the part near-ish the end, when Holden is walking and walking from block to block and starts to feel like every tine he crosses the road that he's going to disappear. The part that gets to me is when he believes that he's talking to Allie, his dead brother, and is asking him to not let him fade away. The raw emotion is amazing.

I set it down once again on my bedside table. I check my phone again and do a quiz on which biscuit I'd be. Checking my result, I read the description. "Confident. Huh... Okay then." I almost laugh.

Then, I get a notification. Will (or some poor soul who isn't Will) had replied. I open my messages.

Will: Yeah, this is Will. We still on for tomorrow? ;)

My eyebrows immediately shoot upwards. Wow, I am tense.

Me: Yup. *despair emoji*
Will: I'm not THAT bad, am I?
Me: No. But now we can't leave the project until the last second... Aren't we meant to be in despair?
Will: Not when you speak like a Shakespearean.
Me: Thou shall not insult the Shakespearean ways, naughty mushrump.
Will: ...
Me: *bites thumb*

(Apparently, biting your thumb was an insult, according to Romeo and Juliet. Also "naughty mushrump" is somewhat equal to 'insolent mushroom'.)

Will: I... What?
Me: It's a Shakespearean insult... Wouldst thou like me to get thou some ice for that sear?
Will: Haha, very funny.

Suddenly, I remember that I'm talking to Will Nox, not a childhood friend. I was about to send a comical/snarky comment, but removed it.

Me: Sorry.
Will: You seem like the kind of person who apologizes a lot.
Me: I've got to go, sorry.
Will: See!
Will: Wait-

I turn off my phone. If I continued talking with him, I would've opened up.

You're going soft.

What is wrong with me? I never usually talk so freely with someone. Never ever. The thing that scares me is that I feel more at home talking to Will than I do with my parents. I swallow down my fear.

Slowly, I pull up my sleeves and look at my arms. Remember, this is what happens when you like people. I don't want to go through it again. Thinking it won't happen again is just wishful thinking. Will Nox is going to break me, I just don't know how... I go to sleep thinking of the ways that Will Nox might break me, and wonder just when he'll do it.

I haven't talked to someone in so long, that when I talk to Will I feel right at home and that's all it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting down in the corner, I hide in the library. I don't go to the cafeteria that often - there's too many people and too many typical highschool dramas. None of which I'm ever part of, unless some random kid decides to use me as their own personal verbal-abuse-punching-bag. But, most people now are too cool to pick on me. I'm below their efforts.

I pick up The Book Thief by Markus Zuzak and start reading. The ending always gets to me - it's too tragic. Suddenly, I hear the door swing open and a lot of laughter. Interesting.

It was a group of the most popular boys, and naturally, all eyes were drawn to them. I see Will in the middle of the group. His hair is slightly messy, yet it looks perfect (as if he styled it that way) and his mesmerizing blue eyes are sparkling as always. They are too blue.

Unexpectedly, he breaks off from the group laughing and walks towards me. What is he doing? Is he walking towards me? Oh my God Will Nox is walking to me. Maybe he's walking to someone behind me? But there's a wall behind me-

"You look like you've seen a ghost." His voice brought me back to the surface. Soon, I'm staring into his eyes. I close my book and make sure that my sleeves are rolled down. "Nice wordplay." I give a small smile.

"Is that a good book?" He asks. Pointing towards my book, he picks it up and reads the cover and description. I choose my answer carefully, after much deliberation. "One of the best." I smile.

"Well, I guess I should read it then." He gives me a beaming smile. I see the look on his face when he checks the number of pages. Will isn't the kind of person who reads books, whereas I am- I can already tell who'll be doing the most work in the presentation.

Our presentation. I wonder whether he would feel any guilt as he'd say that, when he would begin presenting my work. I've went through many group projects. They were more like individual projects - except more crushing because I had to do more work, because it was intended to be shared.

Will looks around the library. "God, this is dull. How many losers do you think spend their entire lunch break here?"

I start coughing really loudly and watch as his face reddens. "I didn't mean to..." He begins to apologize and I cut him off.

"No, it's alright. Besides, losers like me don't really have opinions, right?" I say sweetly.

"I really didn't mean..." Will begins speaking again, looking like a scolded puppy.

"It's whatever. Don't worry about it. You worry and you end up like me!" I laugh sourly. "I'm not seeking a drama and I already know what everyone thinks of Ghost the outcast. Besides, we hardly know each other, I'm not offended by a stranger's opinion of me."

A flash of hurt passes on Will's face. I wonder whether I was too harsh. "You really think that?" He looks shocked. I give him a what did I just say? kind of look and he gulps.

"What if I wanted to get to know you?" Will sits down next to me and sits back, crossing his arms.

"You don't have to lie for my sake, Will."

"No, seriously."

I consider it. Finally, I reply. "I would say that there's not much to know and that you're wasting your time."

Suddenly, he sits forwards. "There it is again. You're always putting yourself down slightly - it's as if you think nothing of yourself."

I do think nothing of myself.

Will waits for me to correct him. I wonder whether I should try and lie. But what's the point? He'll be out of the picture in three weeks and he'll forget about me. They always do. Shocked, I ponder on whether he'll become another scar. 3 weeks, for someone who's deprived of being social, to be social and socialize with an open person, is enough time for him to break me.

All of these thoughts from my demons pass in less than a second in my head. Standing up, I put the book back on the shelf and look at Will. He looks confused. "I'll catch you later, for the project. Don't forget." I say and begin to walk away. "Also, you might want to lie down for a second. You look like you've just seen a ghost!"

I hear him chuckle behind me and I wish that I turned around to see him smile. It was always worth it, in the end.
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Hi! Thank you so much for reading my story! It really means a lot to me... Feel free to vote, comment, quote and recommend if you want to! Thanks (again).💛

~CatlikeG