I sat in the green room, waiting for Jimmy to introduce me on his show, I remembered why I hated doing talk shows, how my anxiety would kick in, knowing that I was on live television.

"And now welcome, my guest for the night, the one, the only, Vanessa Young" Jimmy shouted from behind the curtain, I faked a smile and walked out and gave him a hug as the crowd cheered. The one good thing about this stuff was that the lights were so bright you could barely make out the audience so it didn't feel like I had over a hundred eyes on me.

"Hey Jimmy" I smiled as he led me over to his desk, we sat down and I immediately took a sip of water which I had to spit back into the cup, "that's not water" I genuinely laughed as others joined in, "sorry, we had Noah on yesterday and you know how the Cyrus' are" he apologized as a crew member came to give me a special mug.

"This for the mixer?" I asked as Jimmy almost fell over laughing, we talked casually for a while about the clock strikes and the girls, he also congratulated me on an Oscar I received months ago but I hadn't been in anything so he was the first to say it.

"Now, we had Bob on the show about three months ago and he gave away an accidental spoiler-" "which made us have to rewrite the entire season.... yeah I remember" I smiled,

"Can you hint anything?" He asked as the audience began 'ooo-ing'

"Honestly? After Bob, we had to sign a bunch of contracts and all I'm able to tell you" I began, about to drop major news that I was asked to share on live tv for the first time, "season 8 has been granted permission and will on your screens hopefully next spring, 14th of April" I smiled as people began clapping.

"No way? Seriously?" He laughed as he joined in on the clapping, "you heard it here First Ladies and gentlemen, season 8 of 'The Clock Strikes' will be returning as will we after these short commercials" he winked as the camera switched off.

I was taken backstage for a few minutes for some touch ups, Jimmy wanted to play a traditional game that he did every year on 'the tonight show', honestly, I wanted to leave but I couldn't, I had to promote the clock strikes, it was part of the deal.

"Welcome back folks" he smiled as I stood next to him, beside a box with a towel over it, "if you missed what's already happened, we're joined tonight by Vanessa Young" he clapped as the audience joined in again. "I was explaining to her that every year since 2019 we've done something special on the show for not just the guest but their fans" he explained, I knew exactly what was happening, a smile spread from ear to ear as I watched him pull an iPad out from the box.

"Earlier we had some major fans come into the studio who had never heard of this segment and tell them to list out their favourite things in the world" he smiled, "they're all backstage at the moment, no clue who's here" he pointed at me. "Vanessa you are going to wait backstage as I bring them out here and have them explain why they said what they said in their videos" he laughed as I asked a few small questions and finally walked backstage where I drank actual water.

One by one, men and woman, boys and girls walked up on stage and explained what they meant in their videos, realising that they all had one example in common.

"Just like everyone else, I said my favourite celebrity in the world is Vanessa Young" a girl in her mid twenties laughed into the microphone, "Stephy, tell us how long you've known about Vanessa, seems the longest out of everyone" he smiled.

"I've known about Vanessa since 2015, back when she did YouTube" she laughed awkwardly, obviously knowing that I hated the topic.

Minutes went on of Jimmy talking to my fans before he called me out, I couldn't explain the look on their faces but I was distracted, my attention wasn't focused on the others accept the girl, she remembers Roni and I from way back.

"Speaking of YouTube" he smiled, someone handing him a box, he handed it to me as I slowly opened it, it was a fake plaque, a 3D tonight show logo in gold as well as lettering in a frame which made me laugh, "thank you" I smiled, giving him a hug.

"That wraps it up for tonight folks, I will see you again soon but for now, my name is Jimmy Fallon" "and my name is Vanessa Young" I added, "it's been a pleasure" he smiled at the camera before the show ended for the night.

"Vanessa" Jimmy smiled, shaking my hand as the crowd of people was lead away by some crew, "thanks for tonight" I replied as we stood to talk for a minute.

"Thank you for not bringing up any of the rumors, I was nervous that I'd be put in a weird situation" I laughed awkwardly,

"that's ok, I wouldn't wanna make you feel uncomfortable, you're here for fun. We will shoot the skits in about an hour if that's ok?" He asked as I nodded, glad I had a break, "what skit are you planning?"

"A blast from the past, the 90's or maybe dare I say the noughties" he chuckled, strolling away, leaving me confused, "what?" I whispered to myself as I requested to meet my fans.

I said hello and thanked all of them for coming and for supporting me, I followed all of them on twitter, already following one girl, the same girl. "Can I speak with you in private for a minute?" I asked as everyone began to leave, "Yes" she smiled as we stepped into the corner.

"If this is about the whole YouTube thing, I'm sorry, they asked if any of us watched you while you were on it and I was the only one so they asked me to bring it up on air which I did because I want you to know that I love you so so much and you're my idol" she explained, running out of breath nearing the end, I pulled her in for a hug which surprised her at first but after a few seconds she wrapped her arms around me.

"Listen very carefully Stephy" I began, "your name rings a bell, you had a fan account, pretty big, pretty sure we both followed it-" "you remembered" she interrupted in shock, her eyes fluttering as her breath grew heavily,

"the one memory I treasure the most, I need you to know as a twinner that we didn't leave for reasons we said we did" I said quickly, a headache immediately causing my brain to throb, "what?" She asked confused.

"All I can say is, there was a scandal and you know that, all YouTube accounts were shut down, the app was hacked and was never returned but Roni and I left before all of that, neither of us wanted a break, neither of us needed space and for definite neither of us wasn't able to handle it" I explained, "So why did you leave?" She asked,

"Ryan Higa, everything began that morning but that doesn't matter, I need you to know that we're sorry, from the bottom of our hearts, we hurt so many people but we had to do it, if not one of us or both would have gone crazy, we were too different for each other, everything was different off camera" I explained, gripping into my temples to reduce the pain but she smiled,

"Nobody was ever angry at you two, we respected your decision 100% but we were a little hurt, a 42 second video... really?" She chuckled, "thank you" I smiled, giving another hug before she was escorted out. My headache died down after a minute or so, something refused to let the secret go and I wasn't sure what.

Today was going to be more than a long day, I could tell.

We spent several hours filming legitimate funny sketches for the show and then it was time to go home, I'd never felt so tired before, I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

It took longer than expected to get home because the traffic was so bad, I unlocked the front door and stepped inside the warm heated house.

I put my coat away and waited to hear the usual footsteps of my daughter running to great me but there was nothing, no crying, no shouting and no laughter.

I walked into the kitchen to find a note on the marble countertop in Tommy's writing;

I'm the studio out back with girls, pizza in the fridge

"How romantic" I whispered, scrunching up the paper and pulling the cold greasy pizza out of the fridge and making my way into the empty sitting room and rested my feet on the glass coffee table. The television was already set to the rerun of Jimmy Fallon's show tonight but I changed the channel and began watching some 'friends' until my pizza grew bland and my eyes got dry.

I stepped outside and made my way to Tommy's office and slid open the glass door to find all three of them asleep on the couch, fruit bowls laid out on the floor and Frozen being played on the tv.

I slowly picked up Robyn and brought her inside, slowly carrying her upstairs and getting her ready for bed, she stirred in her sleep and refused to let go of my fingers so I sat with her until her hand fell limp from exhaustion and lightly kissed her forehead.

Next was Lucy, I carried her upstairs but she had woken up and insisted that she get herself ready so I let her do just that and went downstairs to wake tommy up but to my surprise he was in the kitchen searching through the fridge for some food.

"Oh, when did you wake up?" I yawned, pulling of my uncomfortable heels finally and rubbing my feet,

"When you took Robyn away" he shrugged casually forcing me to roll my eyes and laugh.

"You are past ridiculous" I laughed sarcastically, rubbing my tired eyes, "Did we not just talk about all of this?" I asked,

"Yeah, we did... what did I do?" He asked, taking a large bite of an apple and leaning against the countertop as if what he hadn't just said was wrong.

"Once again you knew that I had a really long day and all you fucking did was pretend to be asleep while I put both Lucy and Robyn to bed, if you want me to have another one of your children then you're wrong cause you don't do shit around here to help" I threw my hands up but this time he didn't respond, he finally knew that he was in the wrong.

"Nessa-"

"I'm going to bed" I interrupted, jumping off the counter and trudging upstairs.

(So he wants more kids😉 haha Thanks for reading💜)