Chapter 74

Alana walks home, getting into an empty house. Tommy was still at her parent's house and Thomas was away till Sunday. It was a good thing though, she needed the time to readjust herself. Not to mention, no one was there to see how she was feeling. She was happy and yet at the same time, sad. Sadden that she had to leave it, and come back to this. She just knew she couldn't feel that way, they both always said they would have both lives. They would have to get over it. It was just easier said than done.

Alana goes to her phone wanting to text Luke she got home safely and finally sees twenty missed calls and texts all from Thomas. She dismisses them at first going straight to Luke to say I'm home. Then she sits down and reads them, and listens to his voice message.

She doesn't know what to think. Is this the Thomas she has known all her life? And why now of all times, did he really want this? She didn't think she could fake it, she knew they had nothing like she had with Luke and never would. At the same time, she knew she would have to just wing it and pretend otherwise he would really realize something was wrong. Just could she? She really didn't want to go to dinner with him, or anywhere. Her romantic feelings towards him died that night in that hotel room. Even more so after this weekend with Luke, seeing such a difference. This was going to be tuff all the way around.

While she is sitting on the sofa reading his texts, Thomas calls her again.

"Hello."Alana answers.

"Where have you been? I have been calling you last night and all day today. I was worried." Thomas says.

"I needed a breakaway Thomas, I left my phone home and went to a spa today. It was relaxing and a lot of fun. I didn't check messages till a few minutes ago and you called before I could respond." Alana comments.

"A spa? That was nice, where is Tommy?" Thomas asks.

"He is at my mom and dad's. It was a Valentine's present to myself." Alana states.

"That's fine I am glad you got to enjoy yourself. I just wish you would have told me, so I would have known." Thomas answers.

"It was on short notice, plus you are away, I didn't think it mattered," Alana replies.

"It does, I want things to change between us. I want you to tell me things like you use to. I want to be more in your life." Thomas admits.

"That's a real change Thomas, a big one. I am now used to coming and going on my own. I am not sure I can tell you every little thing or if I really would want to." Alana confesses.

"I know your mad at me for a lot of things in the past. I want to make up for them. Do things right now, we are still young we can start over. Just give me that chance Alana." Thomas begs.

"You can't change things overnight. Feelings change, people change." Alana admits.

"I been seeing this, do you not love me at all anymore?" Thomas asks.

"Not in the way you would want me to......No." Alana answers.

"I see, I made you fall in love with me once, I can do it again," Thomas responds.

"I am not twenty anymore Thomas, I am a different person then I was then," Alana replies.

"I know, and So am I. I am not giving up on us. We have a nice life, we have everything anyone would want. A home, child, money. I can give you the rest you are wanting as well." Thomas comments.

"You haven't given me the rest in years Thomas maybe not even at all. How can you now?" Alana answers.

"I know all you ever wanted was us to be a real family, for me to be there for you and Tommy. For a connection, .....and yes romance. I can do my best in those, maybe even in the sex. I can't promise it all at once though." Thomas announces.

"I can't promise any of it either, The sex, to be honest, I am not looking for, I am happy sleeping in my own room."Alana states.

"You're just still mad at me. Let go Alana give me a chance, Give our marriage a chance?" Thomas asks.

"I don't know. We will see Thomas. I can't force myself." Alana remarks.

"I don't want you too. I will be home tomorrow night, maybe this week we can go out to dinner? Maybe a movie or something? Even a family night if you want to start out slow?" Thomas suggests.

"I think something as a family would be nice." Alana agrees.

"Great, maybe bowling?"Thomas asks.

"That would be nice. I have to get ready for work tomorrow, so I guess I will see you then." Alana answers.

"Yes for sure, have a great night," Thomas says.

"You too." She replies.

Thomas gets off the phone feeling hurt, he sees she doesn't really want to work on it, doesn't really want to get that close to him again. He just hopes that maybe the family outings will bring her closer to him, make her see this time he is for real wanting to give her what she wants, and more. He still wonders if there is someone else and that's why she is so reluctant. He just pushes that in the back of his mind, not letting it get in his way.

For Alana, she just sees this as a bigger pain in the ass. Now she would have to go out with him and act like everything was great. She still says, to herself Since when Thomas wants all this? In many ways, she doesn't even trust him, just feeling she pushed away and it was just something for him to win her back. It was now a game, and he liked the chase. When she was his, he never gave a shit.

They were still on different paths, never seeming to be on the one at the same time.