'Why do I do so many evil things and never tell the truth?' Aaron thought while gazing out the bus window.
'What secrets is my mind hiding from me? Do humans even have control of what they know?'
'What if-'
Aaron's thoughts were interrupted by one of his "Old Friends" that left his group of friends at school asking, "Hey Aaron, what was the homework?"
"It's Friday Larry."
"And we usually Have homework on Friday, A-aron."
"Stop calling me that."
"Is it cuz you miss that girl you liked from Miller, but you fucked up and got kicked out?"
Aaron turned back to the window. "Just leave me alone...please..." Aaron said on the urge of saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"
He kept calm and held back and saved his anger, a daily routine he did when he thought of his mistakes, or was bullied.
Aaron took out his headphones and began listening to his favorite -and most obsessed with- song, Through It All By From Ashes To New.
He imagined the good things he went through with a girl, then the horrible memories came, and the song began being the loudest and only thing to hear. There were more bad memories than good ones.
"There's not a day that passes by, the pain has not amassed aside it's breaking me down to the ground, it's like I crashed and died."
He thought of when he was bullied in elementary, to 8th grade now, and how his dark side really came out more.
"It's hard to leave your past behind, especially when your last in line, and half the time it acts like vines and wraps around my fragile mind."
He thought of what his parents said about him when he didn't take pills, when he was an uncontrollable 6 year old.
And when he thought of all the kids he hit, how he hurt so many of his friends that moved to other schools.
"Hiding in plain view it seems
The same old shit I choose between, taking who I used to be
And keeping it subdued beneath."
He kept thinking about how he was before he took pills, the pills were the one chance he had to change, to act different, and for a six year old, he was pretty clever.
"Close to dead and losing me, you took a chance and you believed.
So did I, I let you lead
And grabbed the line you threw to me."
He thought of the girl he met in 3rd grade that he fell in love with somehow when he first saw her, and how they had so much in common, everyone used to tease them and say they would make a cute couple, until Aaron decided not to play stay and drink morphine anymore in his reality.
The girl, Jada was her name, did make him feel better, only when he was around her a lot.
"And Through It All...
You saved me, you made me
Through It All you changed me forever
You love me, you hate me
Through It All you changed me forever."
He lowly purred like a cat and one of the kids in the seat in front of him turned around with a face expression stating: "WTF was that?" When he thought of how Jada and him did so many things together back then, then he silently growled when he thought of the parts where she got him mad about a certain topic.
His relaxing and moment of reflection with the music ended when he had to get off the bus at his house.
His home had a long light grey drive way, his house was made of brick, it was all brown, with too many windows in his opinion.
He walked to the front door, rung the doorbell, and waited for his "Future-Step-Grandpa" or so the fat bastard told him to call him that.
"Who is it?"
"..."
"Is that you What?"
The fat old man opened the door, Aaron walked past him, yelling,
"I have a name, use it, just like the chance you had to exercise and lose weight before you ended up going to the hospital and not being able to walk right anymore, you lazy old man."
"I had a waffle for you, but it's mine now."
The old man stated.
"Well, Tito, remember what I tell you everyday, I don't eat from people who tell people to have manners and wash their hands before eating, and you don't even follow it."
Aaron calmly walked to his room while Tito raged, Aaron was always the calmest in the house, and technically the smartest, yet the most depressed, but no one actually knew.
He thought about his questions again.
"What if Life Is built to break?
What if you can't change your fate no matter what you do?"
One question he had asked he knew the answer to already, "What if everything doesn't fade away?"
"Then what hasn't will be found."
He used to tell himself.
Aaron decided to play one of his childhood games that made him extremely happy all the time, and it was rare that he is actually happy.
*6 hours later*
"Aaron go to sleep." His grandma said.
"Fine." He answered.
It was 11:00 PM.
He was barely tired, even after the 2 mile run he did in P.E. so the coaches could know how far the class can go before slowing down, and he still wasn't tired.
But he decided to fall asleep since he was bored.