..I'm not going to die in Makai. If someone has to die, it's going to be you.

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To whomever has found this letter first, I hope it finds you well.

By the time you read this, you may have already realized that I am no longer here. I must apologize for drugging you on such short notice, but I do not regret doing it. I had my reasons for doing so. I won't tell you where I've gone, but it's to a place left with unfinished business. I will tell you this now. If you come and find me, I will act as if we have never met. If you stand in my way, I will kill you. It's nothing personal really, however for the time being and possibly even longer, I will need you to stay away from me as far as possible. I don't want to involve you any further. Because if you do, you'll die. For so long, I have hid a lot of things behind me. Things I never wanted to remember. So in return for hiding within those lies, I will tell you the truth.

My name is Hanamura Shiori, currently 16 years of age. I am the child born from Hanamura Hanae and Nakanishi Satoshi. I am the granddaughter of Nakanishi Eiichi, the head of the Nakanishi Clan. And in addition to that, I am also the current heir.

When I was a child, I lived most of my life with my parents in the Nakanishi Household. In most traditions, any child born within a hunter branch must be raised with the belief that there are some things in this world that simply need to be erased. The children are usually trained to become hunters around the young age of ten. From there, their potential only grows. 

I, on the other hand, was not like that. I was not raised to become a hunter. My parents protected me from that tradition and raised me on their own beliefs. However it was quickly seen as an offense which immediately drew trouble towards us. I believe that it was only the beginning. Since I was the daughter of the first son of the Nakanishi Clan, there were already high expectations that were placed upon me. With those high expectations were also disappointment. For example, I was a female child. There was no way they were going to allow me to become heir. Another thing was that I was going to be the one representing the Nakanishi Clan beside Grandfather, the root and heart of the hunter clans. 

"What good would it be to have her represent the Nakanishi Clan if she wasn't even following after our traditions ?" "What good was it to protect her from becoming a hunter if she was already destined for that path ?" 

It was nothing new to me, growing up as a child. Yet as I grew, those judgements only seemed to worsen. For as long as I can remember, it was always like that. Sometimes I even wondered how my parents managed to stay standing. Not once in my memory did I ever see them falter against their judgements about me. Even when they were raising me. They always stood by my side. Grandfather was like too. But he never really showed it. I don't blame him for that. As the head of the Nakanishi Clan, he had to stay with tradition. It was a choice. I can't blame him. 

During this time, there was also another grandchild, a child born just a few months after me. His name was Nakanishi Sotaru. He was born from Nakanishi Suzume and Nakanishi Takao. 

I remember how everyone favored him. I also remember how they trained him. There were so many expectations waiting for him as he grew. They raised him to become the perfect heir for the Nakanishi Clan. I pitied him as a child. I still do. We both underwent similar teachings but mine were never as severe as his. In some ways, we were also separated. I'm sure his parents resented me for existing. To them , I was competition. It was all about which one was better. They probably viewed me as a bad influence. But Grandfather stepped in and immediately put an end to our separation. Whenever I look back at those memories now, I laugh sometimes. Although it's quite sad really. Back then, when we were children, we were so close to each other. But now, we're nothing more than strangers. I wish it hadn't changed. But fate plays such unfair games sometimes. We have no choice but to accept the things that are thrown at us.

Time passed and we both grew older. Towards the end of grade school I believe. It was also around this time that my mother sudden fell ill. No one told me what it was. All I remember was being told, "It's not serious Shiori. She'll get better soon. It won't last forever." And I believed it. But in the end, it was nothing more than a sweetened lie. As I continued into Jr. High, my father and a few others were the one who took care of her. Although I was oblivious to the entire situation, I did my best to make her happy. As long as she didn't disappear, then I was content. Months passed and I remember my father talking to me about leaving to a place to find medicine for my mother. I was hesitant no doubt, but I believed him. My trust in him was what allowed me to let him leave. Once he was gone, it was just me and a few others watching over my mother now. It was hard, to be honest, but I eventually grew used to the daily routine.

A few more months went by and my father didn't come back. At the time, the lie I believed was that he was still looking for a cure. Sometimes I would become anxious, but my mother always managed to calm me down. I didn't realize that her health had worsened. I didn't know. She continued to smile at me as if it had disappeared a long time ago. I should've realized that it was nothing more than a facade to hide the truth away from me. But I didn't. No. I remained oblivious for a long time, it seems. However that all ended when the incident happened.

It seems that someone was trying to get rid of me. By this time, I was barely in the 2nd year of Jr. high. When Grandfather found out about it, he put everything on lockdown and kept me in a protected space. My mother was supposed to stay with me, but she left. 

"It'll be quick", she whispered to the younger me, "They'll protect you from anything harmful." "But what about you ?", I remember asking, tightly holding onto her hand, "Why are you leaving ?" She gave me a sympathetic smile and hugged me. "Because", she said as she patted my head. "I need to find out who it is. When your father comes back, he needs to know." "But..!" My mother placed a kiss on my forehead and brushed my hair away from my face. "Don't cry Shiori", she cooed softly. "You'll be safe. I love you." "I love you too mom..."

And that was the last time I ever spoke to her before she died. No matter how much I cried for her, I knew she wouldn't come back. No matter how hard I tried looking for her, I knew that I couldn't find her. I was no longer holding her hand. She was no longer holding onto mine. She was no longer there. I was now alone, with no one else to lean on. I closed everyone away.

But that wasn't it. During the time of the investigation, I realized how quickly it was for someone to hide away the truth. Before my mother had died, I was already aware of who had killed her. I made a promise to myself, saying that I would kill her in return for stealing her away from me.

Everything from that point on changed completely. I was no longer the child that hid behind the protection of her parents. However I regret that fact that I'm still standing in the shadows of my past. I can't seem to move away.

After the investigations ended, they finally put her in her final resting place. That day, I didn't cry. I was with Ciel and Oka. I always doubted them, wondering if they would ever leave me someday, but they didn't. I'm thankful. Shortly after, the position of heir was finally appointed. 

I was selected over Sotaru. 

So in the next 5 months, I remained confined in the Nakanishi Household. It was a living hell without my mother. There were those who hated me and there were those who cared for me. There were those who told the truth and there were those who told me lies. I thought about what I wanted in my life. Did I really want to become the heir ? In the end I made a choice.

I ended up leaving my life as the heir with the company of Ciel and Oka. Apparently their lives as hunters didn't treat them kindly either. So we all disappeared together, shortly separating from each other to go to other places. But we kept in touch for as long as we could. It wouldn't be until about the beginning of high school that they would find us again. By then we were more aware of the things that were going on around us. Ciel and I regrouped but Oka was still away.

And so, this is where the story continues from the point of when we've all met.

I've left so many things behind yet they keep coming back to me. I am not afraid to kill anyone. I am not afraid to leave people behind. If you had to live a life without me, then live. I'd never forgive myself if something ever happened to you guys. That's why I never said anything to you before I left. It's hard to say "goodbye" with a straight face. I have to do this alone now. 

So this is where it all stops. I'm thankful to have known you all.

Please watch over yourselves and don't die.

-Shiori