Me: Zao... save me

Zao: *mimics me* let's do this! You'll be great!

Me: You should go and die

Zao: My life is too valuable for that.

me: -_-"

--facts on moi--

1. I am very very contradicted. I hate everything but I love everything. I get mad at everything but I am always calm. I'm smart but I'm stupid and stubborn. I forget everything but I remember everything. Yeah I'm weird like that.

2. I get crazy jealous crazy fast. On the outside I might not look like I don't care but I actually do and is exploding with jealousy. Whether if someone has better something than me or someone I'm friends with talks to someone else. My wish is to lock my best friends in my closet... Yeah I'm crazy like Zao.

3. I feel that I'm boring and can write nothing. I can't have a nice chat that can crack people up or write super inspirational stuff or write something that'll move people to tears. I try but I always feel that I fail.

4. One side I'm a calm Asian who is humble asf and likes to read the atmosphere and is polite. On the other side I'm a crazy western girl who screws with rules and speaks my heart.

5. I feel like that I'm more like Libra than Aries which is my zodiac sign...

6. I never get angry. But when I do. RUN

7. I can play three instruments: Piano (level 10) oboe (currently in a symphony) and hu lu si (a traditional Chinese instrument)

8. I never self harmed in any way. Well, I've had thoughts to cut my arms off in grade three so that I don't have to practice piano 8 hours a day. But, I never did it.

9. I cry. Period. I cry to let out my emotions. I know it doesn't help with the current situation but it helps me to crawl back up when I fall. I don't think that's a sign of weakness

10. I don't share my tragedies unless it makes the other feel better. Because I don't deserve to let others carry my burden for me. They have enough problems without adding mine in. Well, at least I try to not burden others. Sometimes I feel so lonely I can't help it.

11. I actually think about suicide as a hobby. I like to think how I can die and my favourite part is to think of the best suicide note that can make my death painless to the ones around me.  Yeah I'm weird

12. I have short hair. Really short hair. Imagine japan's hair length and you'll get my hair length. I also don't wear complicated colours. I wear black, navy blue, grey or white. And It's usually hoodie with a pant. My fashion is da bomb I know. XDXD

13. I'm fluent in Chinese and English. French I can read and write no problem but saying and hearing needs some work. Learning Japanese and Korean. 

14. I'm pretty shy around strangers but if you're close to me, you know I'm completely crazy.

15. I was supposed to be born on April 5th which is on 清明节 which is the day every Chinese go to the tomb of their loved ones and mourn for them. Lucky I know, but I wasn't and that's good. XDXD

16. I talk to myself... one is philosophical and pessimistic, one is happy go lucky, optimistic and innocent. I need to go to a therapist

17. I get along with my mom really well. (I know how exciting.)

18.  I have a creepy plastic snowman that's looking at our house in the forest that's in front of my house. 

19. I've killed every pet I had. My turtle committed suicide... Does that count as indirect murder?

20. I'm Christian. That's why I say "gosh" instead of "God" 

Me: So here you guys go, some my "darkest" secrets

Zao: What's up with the quotation mark? Don't tell me...

Me: Yep, I have darker secrets that no one should ever try to know.

Zao:... You're weird and psycho...

Me: Aren't we all? *Smiles*