There is a girl in my class.

She is called beautiful online, but in the real world, she doesn't get the same positive attention.

She's fat- but anorexic. She's insecure and not enough. She'll make everything into a joke, even herself.

She is ridiculed, perhaps by a friend of yours, or you?

She wants to die.

It's okay, though.

It's normal for her now.

She can't even tell you why she feels that way anymore.

She'll look normal, because anything but that negative attention. She'll do anything.

She used to be nice, or at least something like that.

She would never dream of being rude to her mother, nor her friends.

Now, all she does is snap like a flytrap enclosing it's victim.

She doesn't like it, no.

She cries, but now at least no one will be mean to her first.

They won't focus on her weary, worn out state.

Instead they'll use her as a new 3D comic strip in their daily school life.

You used to tell she was self conscious, but now?

Nothing.

She smiles when someone's funny, and it will fill natural because that's how it has to be.

She'll tell someone to shut their mouth, just so they'll all know she doesn't give a fuck.

But her type of not giving a fuck is not a rebellious type- no. It's the 'I've given up but I'm still going to try' type.

She doesn't want to be depressed.

She wants to change, oh does she.

But without anyone- nor anything to give her that certain motivation, she can't do anything.

It may sound pathetic, how she needs the motivation, but have you ever looked into a killers eyes and mentally screamed for help?

With depression, that becomes normal.

You feel like it's gone, until it comes back at full force. Only unlike last time, no ones coming to help you.