Right now I feel alone.
Tired, but now it's emotionally and physically.

If this is depression then I think everything else was a lie.

I still laugh, I feel happy.

But when I'm in my mind, I'll find things I hate.

My hair, my smile, all the way down to the way my feet are shaped.
It all just feels wrong.
I'm tired now, everything seems done.

I can't imagine there's a god.

No one comes to me for help anymore, so I think I'm finally alone.

The boy that spent years sitting with me at lunch has left me by myself.

As pathetic as it sounds, all of my friends have moved on.
They were temporary, it seems.

I've written all the things I feel like I need to.

I've said the things I needed to get out.

All the old bands I'd listen to have been exposed to their own fame.

However, as everything's developing around me, the only thing that grows is the need to cry.

Maybe im afraid of change, or maybe I'm just tired but
Nothing feels right.

So dear future me, if I make it through this time, I'm gonna need you to love yourself.