It's that constricting feeling that you get late at night after looking back on the repetitive day.

That feeling you get when you understand nothing will change unless you do something, but you can't do anything without the motivation that you just don't have.

That understanding that nothing's okay, but not wanting to say anything in fear of crying yet again, or worse; the fear that no one cares.

Because as you stay up with tears blurring your vision and scrolling through your contacts, desperate to find someone-something to help you and coming up empty. That's the depression that you were thought to be over with.

But can you truly escape something that's been there for you since you've been young?

It's irrational and unhealthy, but even now as my throats burns from holding back my cries, I grip depression in my hands and know that even if I let go of it, it will still be there, following me like a love sick puppy.

But this puppy is one that can't die, like an annoying roach.

Now though, this 'annoying roach' is something i welcome, because even though I'm deathly terrified of roaches, I know that this is an exception I'm willing to take.