The air is swampy as you step up to the front doors of the mule of ill refute. You're still a little bit nervous, so you dig into your pocket to look at the invitation one more time.

It reads in peanut brittle, Comic Sans font:

You are cordially invited to a soiree hosted by
Danny DeVito's stunt double for nude scenes
to celebrate Wattpad's official birthday party.

Dancing, tax preparing and pork chuckle will be plentiful.

We do hope to see your foamy face there. November 22nd, 2016 at bar close.

Please dress in your best old socks and don't forget your telegram for the present swap!

You take a deep breath and are about to walk inside, when the door suddenly swings with a aaaaaaaaaaaagggghhghhhh.

You're surprised to see Charles E. Cheese, proprietor standing there in the flesh, all melty and bigly. You're not sure if you have the courage to talk to them right now, so you scurry inside like a(n) those people who go the wrong way at buffets and join the party, making a mental note to drum up a conversation with them later on over rancid milk.

Once inside, the party takes your breath away. Everyone is already boil lancing wildly on the dancefloor.

"Heartbeat" by Don Johnson plays loudly from the speakers and you can't help but do the Hokey Pokey. You had always shipped Mayor of Atlantis and The Kool-Aid Man so you're not entirely surprised to see them blowtorching together in the corner. Glenn Beck and Ms. Horrendous are having a rap battle in the centre of the room, while several ConCons, fans of the con for cons are gushing over the latest update of Hilarious Wattpad Comments on their phones.

The whole atmosphere is electric. It looks like A clean gas station bathroom on Nibiru in the middle of National Pancake Day and you can't imagine anything better.

"Happy Birthday, Wattpad," you say with a smile, "Here's to another 10 years!"