November 1811 - December 1811

The first three days with so many newcomers passed swiftly, akin to a pigeon soaring over the vast fields surrounding Southampton. Thankfully, the main orchestrator of conversations was the ever-vivacious Eleanor, whose steadfast demeanour and eloquence deftly averted numerous potential embarrassments that loomed over both Mina and Roy.

Especially Mina had a tendency to drift into her own thoughts, often losing track of the conversation unfolding around her. Royston would often endeavour to catch her eye, and upon noticing her distant demeanour, his gaze would darken with a hint of concern. His previous inclination to ruthlessly tease her at every opportunity waned, for whenever he found himself gazing at her for an extended period, a vision of her contented sighs in response to his pleasure bestowed upon her form would haunt his conscience, despite his earnest efforts to resist such temptation.

Yet Roy longed for their intimacy. And rued his pledge. Also cursed himself for harbouring a great apprehension that they might never be united, whether the secret was revealed or not, for he certainly couldn't foresee the future.

Little did he know that Mina, too, dared to reminisce about their tender embraces. Her hand tracing his hair, twirling a golden strand around her finger. The sensation of his lips touching her neck, making her form shiver with anticipation.

What a gifted tongue you possess.

But let us not overlook the skill of my nimble fingers, my dear.

"I daresay Miss Haswell has much on her mind," a male voice interjected, drawing her attention back to the present moment unfolding in a drawing room. She noticed Eleanor's disapproving frown and the amused expressions of the gentlemen. Only Roy appeared unperturbed, seated in a lofty chair, his chin resting on his hand, an air of contemplation about him as if lost in thought in a similar manner.

Mina hesitated before excusing herself, her voice soft and apologetic. "My sincerest apologies, but I fear today is not a suitable occasion for me to partake in social engagements. I find myself feeling unwell, and I believe it best to retire until the morrow."

She indeed felt increasingly unwell, not from any physical ailment, but from the strain of maintaining appearances. The necessity to wear a smile when she wished to display a stern composure, to feign amusement when her heart felt indifferent, and to endure the presence of others when all she desired was solitude, weighed heavily upon her. The company seemed understanding of her departure, yet she couldn't help but notice Eleanor's subtle inquiry with raised eyebrows and feel the weight of Roy's gaze as it lingered upon her until she vanished from his view.

In the corridor, she encountered Polly.

"Lady Langdon," she addressed her with a demure nod, her gaze fixed upon the floor.

Their interactions had turned icy since Polly's insistence on marrying her son, and they had remained chilly ever since, with the presence of Roy's friends providing no opportunity for reconciliation or further discussion.

"Mina," Polly said, reaching out to gently grasp her elbow, halting her progress. "Everything I have done, and continue to do, is with the best interests of both you and Roy in mind. In truth, I was heartened to hear that you and Roy had found common ground. Please, do not reproach him for his loyalty to me."

"You must realize, if he were to genuinely contemplate marriage with me, his allegiance would inevitably shift in my favour, would it not? How can I even consider joining your family when there are secrets being withheld from me? How does such concealment justify a moment of peace?"

With those words, she delicately disentangled herself and resumed her stroll, leaving Polly standing alone in the corridor. Lady Langdon sighed heavily, acknowledging the validity of Mina's concerns. The young woman sought to safeguard her heart and dignity, a sentiment which, from a certain standpoint, was indeed commendable.

The following day, despite the sunny yet frosty weather, the eager group of young people remained undeterred in their desire to venture outdoors. Mina found herself the target of Eleanor's determined persuasion, who warned her dear friend that should she decline to join them in the crisp air, she would be forcibly dragged outside.

"I am quite certain I am not needed there, and besides, I have a book to finish," Mina attempted to convince her friend to leave her to her own devices. However, her words only succeeded in raising Eleanor's eyebrows in disbelief.

"The Sorrows of Young Werther hardly seems a fitting choice for such a splendid day!" exclaimed Eleanor, casting a fleeting glance at the tome in Mina's hands. "If you believe I'll allow you to mope in your chamber for whatever reason, you are mistaken, miss! While our conversations have been scarce of late, I am eager to understand more, particularly regarding the cause of your apparent distress, despite your avowed affections for Lord Royston and his seeming regard for you!"

Mina was taken aback by her friend's unexpected and pressing resolve, prompting a soft sigh to escape her lips. Despite her initial reluctance, Mina set aside her book, drawn by the allure of the sun. Together, they later ventured down the path already marked by the footsteps of gentlemen; their arms intertwined. They deliberately lagged behind the group, adopting a leisurely pace.

"My dear Eleanor, there are matters—indeed, discussions—that must be addressed before any developments can occur regarding the mutual sentiments between Lord Royston and myself," Mina confided in a hushed tone, her gaze drifting towards the man in question as he conversed with Ian Huxley.

On this particular day, his countenance bore a radiant glow, his spirits lifted by the warmth of the sunshine and the jovial banter exchanged with his friends. There was a noticeable reduction in his glances towards Mina, a fact that inexplicably stirred a twinge of unease within her. She had no desire to be the only one ensnared by the depths of affection for the Viscount Vexation! It seemed that the transformation from Lord Contrary to Lord Chivalry was fleeting, as he reverted to his former self once more.

"What sort of matters, if I may inquire?" Eleanor's curiosity was as keen as a cat's, her eyes sparkling with interest.

Mina hesitated, her words faltering. "Well, um... truth be told, it's a private matter between Lord Royston and myself. My apologies."

Eleanor regarded her friend with a scrutinizing gaze, her lips poised to pose another question, but her intention was interrupted by the cheerful voice of Jeremy Clayborne.

"Ladies, shall we engage in a snowball fight?" Jeremy called out merrily from a distance, his mischievous grin easily discernible even from afar.

"We've long outgrown such antics, sir," Mina retorted with a playful smile. "Besides, as you may recall, I felt somewhat indisposed yesterday; I wouldn't wish to exacerbate my ailment by being drenched in all that snow."

"Not a soul except us shall witness you deviating from your station, Miss Haswell," Ben Lovett persisted, with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And we certainly won't pass a word!"

Mina replied with a hint of sarcasm, "Your assurances are most comforting, Mr. Lovett, though regrettably, I must—"

Before she could finish her sentence, a snowball came hurtling towards her, striking the side of her head with a damp thud. Wet flakes clung to her shawl and even the tip of her nose, leaving her momentarily stunned.

"I fear I leave you no choice but to partake," Roy's voice rang out, accompanied by a wry smile.

Mina brushed the snow from her shawl using her gloved hand, casting a glance at Royston with lips pressed together in determination. She then bent down, gathering a generous handful of snow. With a swift motion, she aimed at him, though he managed to evade it with a deft sidestep.

"It appears your accuracy is better suited for pinecones," he teased, but this time the snowball found its mark, landing squarely on his shoulder.

"Perhaps you should seek shelter, Sir Stubborn," she remarked coolly. "My aim shall improve with each throw!"

Soon, amidst the winter wonderland, a playful snow skirmish ensued among the group, where Mina, naturally, directed most of her snowballs toward Royston, aiming to drench him thoroughly. As the game was nearing its peak, they inadvertently ventured away from the rest of the company into a secluded area with a gentle slope. There, just as Mina was poised to launch a snowball at the fleeing Roy, she encountered an unforeseen patch of ice hidden beneath a drift of snow, leading to her sudden fall. The impact of her descent momentarily stole her breath, leaving her sprawled upon the ground, limbs splayed in a most undignified manner.

"Mina! Are you unharmed?" Roy's voice sliced through the crisp air as he rushed to her side, concern etched on his features at the sight of her motionless form.

As she felt his touch upon her cheek, accompanied by the inquisitive gaze of his deep blue eyes, she blinked swiftly, at least thrice. Nay, she sensed no great pain or injury; thankfully, the snow cushioned her fall sufficiently to avert any mishap, though she may discover a few bruises upon her person, particularly upon her posterior, which bore the brunt of the impact.

"All is well," Mina replied softly, reassuringly.

"I had forgotten how occasionally clumsy you can be, Miss Blunderbuss," Roy remarked with a teasing lilt to his voice.

However, she took it quite personally and exclaimed, "Oh, you!" while tossing a handful of snow into his face. Roy chuckled and brushed the cold substance away from his visage. Yet, as she attempted to rise, he gently pressed her back into the snow.

"Pray, what is the meaning of this?" she proclaimed with a hint of indignation, only to find him leaning in, his lips meeting hers in an unexpected yet thrilling gesture.

A newfound ardour ignited within her, so reminiscent of their shared moments during the house party at Eldridge's. Roy kissed her with an unrestrained passion, yet tempered with tenderness; there was this unmistakable yearning to reconnect with her after all those past days marked with limited exchanges. And oh, Mina felt the intensity, the stirring not only in her mind, soul and essence – but also in her heart. Hence, she eagerly reciprocated his advances, even cupping his head in her hands.

However, they soon broke their embrace, though it felt as if time had both stretched and rushed past them at that moment.

"What are you thinking, Roy? Anyone could witness us," she gently chided, her gaze locked with his.

"Damned be anyone who dares to cast a glance or judgment," he replied with unwavering determination. "Every day without as much as a touch from you feels empty, Mina. Though it may not be the opportune moment to discuss our future with so many prying eyes and ears, know this... I do love you. I love you earnestly and unconditionally, and nought shall sway my affection in days to come."

The sudden confession caused Mina's heart to skip a beat, then become aflutter with anticipation. She opened her lips to respond, eager to assure him that her feelings mirrored his own and that she too held the deepest affection for him, now and always.

But instead, two tears escaped down her cheeks, and her lower lip trembled with emotion.

"The secret is not of our making, I assure you," he spoke up, his unease evident in his voice.

His heart sank further as he awaited a response from the one he cherished, yet silence lingered, stretching the grave moment between them.

"For Heaven's sake, Mina, speak your mind. Condemn me as the greatest of fools for baring my soul and heart so openly. Deny any semblance of such sentiments on your part, and we shall consign these past five minutes to oblivion," he implored, feeling as though he had pierced his own heart with a dagger, over and over.

"If you deem yourself a fool, then we are both ensnared in folly," she replied at length.

Royston sighed deeply. "I understand. You harbour distrust, though unjustly cast upon me, for I have transgressed by nothing but being steadfast in my loyalty. It is rather ironic, is it not? I, too, once harboured such reservations upon my arrival to this estate. It seems fitting that I should now experience the same scrutiny, and what you have felt."

"Roy—" she started, but he rose from his seat, cutting her off. " Let us seek out the others and retire indoors. You must be chilled to the bone, and I would lament seeing you fall ill."

Mina accepted his outstretched hand, rising from the snowy ground as they both hurried after the last sighting of their respective friends. Yet, her heart was not without its burdensome guilt, and his own felt as though it had been trodden upon.

But it was not only the young pair grappling with their conscience. Polly, too, found herself in deep contemplation of her current circumstances. With each passing day, the Christmas season drew nearer, and she remained undecided about the duke's invitation. Indeed, she could depart from Roy and his guests; after all, they were here at his behest, not hers. However, Mina presented an entirely different dilemma.

Lady Langdon could propose she take refuge at her sister's residence. However, in doing so, Polly couldn't shake the conviction that she might never have the chance to set eyes upon Mina again, at least not for the foreseeable future. It would, in a way, safeguard Miss Haswell's heart from the tumult that the revelation of secrets would undoubtedly bring.

Yet, was it truly fair to act in such a manner towards a young woman who was dear to her, and likely to her son as well?

Polly also pondered the possibility of revealing the truth. If she did, she knew Mina would depart the estate without hesitation, her exit being swift and decisive. Such an outcome would afford Polly the opportunity to depart for Dublin, yet her enjoyment would be marred by the knowledge of the pain she had inflicted upon the young woman.

Would it be justifiable for her to partake in the festivities while another suffered the anguish of revealed truth?

It appeared that no victor emerged from this circumstance, leaving Polly with nought but heavy sighs to escape her lips. However, upon noticing the faint glimmer of disappointment and hurt in Roy's eyes and the forced nature of his smile for days; having observed Mina's rising frequency of withdrawal to her chamber for sustenance after her dear friend's departure for home, Polly resolved to summon them both to the library.

As she entered the room and observed them both, seated in such a way that they scarcely acknowledged each other's presence, she realised the gravity of the moment, knowing it was time to reveal all and entrust the outcome to divine providence.

"My dear ones," she began, her voice gentle yet resolute. "Though the timing may not be ideal, with our esteemed guests in our midst, I ultimately reached a decision. It is high time that you, Mina, learned of the burden that has weighed upon my conscience and soul for decades."