"...and then he was all like, 'yeah, but you're the prettiest person in the world', and I was still mad so I said 'even prettier than Sirius?', and do you know what that little fucker said?"

Remus yawned. "Excuse me. What did he say?"

Lily slammed the table. "He said yes!"

What? "What?"

"I know!" Lily yelled, flopping backwards and scowling. "Like, Jimmy, no, nobody is prettier than Sirius, don't fucking lie you asshole."

"Wait, so..." Remus stared at her. "You're mad at him because he said you were prettier than Sirius?"

"I mean, fucking duh, dude."

"Oh."

A moment of silence. They glanced at each other and started to snigger.

"Well, I think you should give him a kiss later."

Smiling slyly, Lily nodded. "Oh, I will."

They were sitting side by side on a sofa in the common room, where people were chatting quietly in little huddled groups. The soft murmur of nonsense was low and warm, lying beneath the sleepy haze that accompanied the end of a school day. 

It was only them. Sirius, James and Peter were in detention, due to a prank that had gone a teensy bit wrong. Although technically it had been Remus' idea - he was just clever enough to leave early.

Remus turned back to his maths homework, and Lily tapped away at her phone.

But Remus was bored. Maths was boring.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Hm? Oh, just writing."

"Writing... what?"

No reply. And then Remus realised. "Are you on Wattpad again?"

"Never left, my guy."

"Christ Almighty," he groaned. "What ship are you writing about this time?"

Lily turned a little pink. "Oh, no fandom, exactly..."

"You're making me nervous."

A breathy giggle. "Y-yeah, you should be."

Remus gave her a concerned look, but chose to let it slide. There were currently more pressing things to think of.

Such as the fact that Sirius had been wearing a black lace choker today.

Yeah, that was a good thing to think about.

Something he didn't want to think about, however, was how much he wanted to tell Sirius what had actually happened. Remus was very happy and very relieved that they were friends again. It was just like it used to be.

But Remus wanted so much more. He wanted to hold Sirius' hand and kiss his knuckles. He wanted to sing for him and kiss his nose. There were things he needed to tell Sirius, things he needed to hear, thing he needed to do.

Remus wanted to be with Sirius, every day, every second, but the fact was that he had fucked up. Big time.

And he was just going to have to forget him now, because otherwise he wouldn't be able to cope with existence.

"What are you thinking about?"

Remus shook himself. "Lace."

A pause. "Lace."

"Yeah, lace."

"You're thinking about lace."

"Yes. Lace."

"I - lace?"

He huffed. "Yes, I am thinking about god-fucking lace. Why?"

Lily shrugged, her face weirdly smug. "Nothin'."

Remus frowned, but again, let it slide. He looked over Lily's shoulder, reading what she had written.

"...that's... I mean, it's good, but..."

Lily grinned. "It's gay."

"It's almost as gay as me."

A second, where everything was okay. And then -

"That's one way to come out, I guess."

Remus stopped breathing. His insides started shaking, his eyes widened, his mouth fell open.

Fuck, fucking fuck, oh bloody fuck my fucking mouth, this is fucking awful, Jesus fucking Christ -

"Watch your profanity."

He wheezed. "That's a dead meme."

Lily grinned. "But relevant. Mine ears doth burn."

Remus leaned forward on his elbows, resting his head in his hands. "Shit."

Putting an arm around him, Lily patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, everyone already knows."

Oh, great. Remus sat up again. "That I'm bi?"

Lily coughed. "That you're gay."

"I'm bi. I like boys and girls. I might be pan, but I'll figure it out later, I'm still trying to come to terms with liking guys."

"How long have you been trying to come to terms with it?" Lily asked softly.

Remus looked away. "Since I was nine."

"That's... that's seven years, Rem."

A shaky laugh. "I know, I know. I'm a coward."

"You are many things, but 'coward' is not one of them," Lily said firmly.

Remus pulled her abruptly into a hug, feeling the tight pressure in his chest drop. Relied flowed through him. He came out to someone. He wasn't dead.

Lily hugged him back tightly, rocking them both back and forth.

"I was scared, Lils. I didn't want to tell anyone."

She kissed the side of his head. "It is scary, but it's okay. We love you. All of us love you so much."

Remus sniffed into her shoulder. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." Her voice was a bit thick, too.

"Are you crying?"

"I never cry, you dick-sucker."

"Hold your horses there, Ginger, let's go on a date first."

Lily pulled back, squinting. "I don't have a dick."

"Could have fooled me."

"Dumbass."

"Pubic hair."

A horrified gasp. "How dare you!"

Grinning, Remus picked up his maths homework again. "I am Remus Lupin. I dare do anything."

"Rude motherfucker," Lily muttered, turning back to her phone. But then Remus remembered something.

"Hey, Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you please not tell anyone? I don't want too many people to know yet, so..."

Ruffling his hair, Lily smiled. "Of course I won't, don't worry."

"Thank you. Thank you so much, for everything."

"Don't get emotional again," she warned.

"Point taken." He patted her arm awkwardly, then started to try and do algebra.

Remus wondered how long Sirius had taken to accept himself. Growing up in a house like he did, in a family like he had... it couldn't have been easy.

"Oh, Rem?"

"What?" he asked, looking up again.

Lily smirked. "Does Sirius know?"

"Why the hell would he know?" Oh shit, had he been too obvious? Had people realised his feelings for the tiny moron? Did the tiny moron in question know?

Shrugging, but still far too smiley, Lily got up and strolled toward her dorm room.

"Lily? Why would Sirius know?" Remus repeated, a little more desperate.

"No reason at all. Goodnight, Remus."

"Lily - !" But Lily had left.

Remus stared after her, then swore loudly.

"Fucking bitch - "