Once Bilbo was out of the tree, pouting because he had been forced to climb down said tree, you simply followed the noise. Teenage dwarves were apparently louder than dwarflings were. 

And you knew all too well how loud they would be once they were back in their adult forms.

"I don't want to go building stuff" Bilbo said grumpily. He looked the other way as you continued walking. 

You sighed deeply. "You don't have to built if you don't want to. Just stay close to the group. We don't want to lose you." He didn't respond.

 The others were already seated at a low table. Rows of elves dumped materials on the tables for the dwarves to work with. Bilbo runned off towards them as soon as he spotted them. He chose to stand together with Fili and Kili.

"So they just get this urge to built now that they are teenagers?" you asked, joining Dwalin and Balin who were overseeing the teenagers.

Dwalin nodded. "Aye, once we reach a certain age we go out and explore what we're good at. You need to choose a trade to provide for your family." He looked at you sideways. "What about humans? Don't you learn a trade early on in life?"

You shrugged. "I guess we do. It is just that, most of the time, our parents choose for us. And you can't do anything you like."

When the two dwarves looked at you confused, you explained: "I just mean that if you were born with a family working at a bakery, than you are more than likely going to stay in the bakery to take over one day.

You can't just go off to learn a different trade."

"What if it is not your passion?" Balin asked.

"Then that is too bad for you. It is about surviving, as you said, providing for your family." The conversation ended there. 

The dwarves hadn't been going for that long but already you could see some crafts coming to life. Bifur was working on a wooden animal that would probably be able to move its wings when he was done with it. 

Ori was knitting somewhere beneath a nearby tree. Apparently he had always been more reserved than your typical dwarf. 

Fili, Kili and Bilbo were working on something that started to look like a ball. You shook your head, smiling. Maybe they needed to lose a little bit more energy before sitting down and relaxing.

Bofur was helping Bombur bake something. There was flour in their hair with eggs laying afwully close to the edge of the table. You stopped yourself from stepping in. 

It wasn't something to freak out about.

Dori was trying to stop Nori from putting some of the materials in his hidden pockets. There were a lot of them. Every now and then you would hear a shout, but seeing as Dori had it under control, no adult stepped in.

Gloin and Oin had picked up two shovels and were now carefully digging holes in the garden.

Maybe it was just you but you could swear you saw some of the elves pale at the scene. 

Even if they were louder in this life stage, they were also less dependent on the adults to entertain them. Maybe now would be a good time to...

"Is it alright if I go get some time to myself? I haven't read a book in ages" you asked quietly. You didn't want the teenagers to hear or to disturb them while they worked.

If Dwalin was surprised or annoyed, he didn't show it. He just nodded and you were off.

Off to the library. 

As soon as you walked in through the door, you broke. You managed to get to a tree where you let all your tears go freely. The past few days had been overwhelming. First you had a fight with your husband, then he got turned into a baby and now he had to go through every life stage.

If it hadn't been for Gandalf than you had been on your way already. Traveling for your important quest.

Now you were stuck watching a bunch of young dwarves and with a young husband who was more emotional than the adult verison had ever been.

Things had gotten a bit better since he had let you in a couple of times.

But why was it neccessary to go through this before he opened up to you? And how did the others expect you to feel? Was this really what it was going to be like, raising dwarves? Did you want children with Thorin?

Was it even an option to not want them? 

How would he respond?

How would you feel knowing that you would never have a child of your own?

Why were you even thinking these things?

You felt your heartbeat quickening, your breathing becoming irregular. Instinctively, your hands went to grab the armrests of the chair. You clenched your teeth trying to control your breath.

All you could focus on was trying to take slow, deep breaths. You felt your body gradually calming down. The pain in your chest slowly ebbing away. You had your breathing back under control.

When you had walked off, you knew that there were some things you needed to think about.

But you hadn't realized how stressed you were because of this situation. All you needed right now was for your husband to be back to his normal self. To be there for you again.

Because despite your differences, you knew that he was always there for you.

Even if you sometimes wondered if your race would make this marriage difficult, impossible even, you could tell how much you meant to him.

Every other day you just felt like he didn't fully trust you.

And the worst part about that was that you tried everything to make him feel loved. You always tried to talk to him when it looked like he was in a bad mood.

Only recently did you learn that it didn't work for Thorin to immediatey be forced to talk about his feelings. He would come to you on his own when he wanted to talk. Maybe there was nothing you could do to help him to realize that you loved him.

You heard footsteps coming from behind the bookshelf on your left.

With your sleeve, you tried to wipe the tears of your cheeks.

Thorin rounded the corner, a worried look on his face. "Ghivâshel, tell me who has hurt you so and I will see to it that they get punished!" He knelt down in front of you, putting his hands on your knees and looking up at you.

There was barely concealed anger in his eyes. "Tell me who did this."

You laughed through your tears. "No one did this to me, love. If anything I did this to myself." You sighed.

Thorin looked confused. He waited for you to continue.

This was the first time you truly noticed that the gray strands were missing from his hair.

"I was just thinking about how you are all still not back to your old selfs... and how hard and exhausting that is at times. I'm just trying to work so hard but it feels like I'm just not prepared for this." You looked down at his hands on your knees.

"And all I want is for you to grow up. Maybe relieve you of some of the burden that you feel."

His shoulders tensed.

"I just want to be there for you as your wife. Which is strange since you're mentally not of age at this point. While on the other hand you are and I'm just... I'm just so confused. I don't know how to feel. I'm not prepared for this Thorin."

Thorin' face softened. "It would be strange if you were prepard to suddenly care of eleven dwarflings and one hobbit child." He put a finger under your chin, lifting your face to look into your eyes.

"Please tell me âmrâlime, how were you ever going to be prepared for that?"

You started smiling, making him smile as well. "Maybe you do have a point" you spoke softly.

"My beautiful wife does say that I sometimes make a good point. Not too often though." You laughed together. He brought his hand up to your eyes, using his thumb to wipe the tears away.

"Now, stop crying and let me show you how much you mean to me." He got up and pressed his forehead against yours. "Let me show you that I will always stand beside you. Even if we're both not prepared for what is to come" he said softly, but with an intensity behind his words that gave you chills.

You closed your eyes. "Know that I'll always stay with you. I'll always love you, Thorin. That will never change."

You opened your eyes to see that he was looking at you. Your foreheads were still touching, your noses resting against each other.

"I know, my love. Maybe I doubted that before..." he placed his hand on your chest. "But now I know."