You'll probably have to back a couple chapters bc it's been so long I'm sorry. I love you. sorry. but Ily.

"What do you mean 'they've already started'?" I shake Michael, as my heart beats faster by the minute.

"I didn't mean to" he sobs into his hands "I'm so sorry." he repeats. Michael is so; broken.

His skin is pale and the bags under his eyes are low. he can barely breathe by the sound of his voice telling me that he was sorry.

I've been here for only two days..right?

I slowly pat Michael on the back soothingly as he tries his best calming down. His breathing is heavy but it's slowly steadying. He looks at me with his glistening eyes and sad forced smile.

He takes off his hat setting it down onto his lap, wiping his eyes with his arm.

We stay quiet as he takes my hand in his as he's often runs his thumb over my hand. he sadly smiles to himself, only one side of his lips curbing into the smallest of smiles.

I notice every single detail, yet everything feels, lost.

He lies down on my bed, tugging me down with him. I accept as I rest my head on his chest and his arm wrapping itself around me.

He's hiccuping from his breakdown a few minutes ago which causes me softly giggle, michael chuckles along.

I trace my fingers over his old Cobain shirt as I come to realize he's sleeping again.

I don't mind knowing that he's probably had sleepless nights before, or the fact we're in bright daylight. if he wants to sleep, he can.

My mind wonders off in curiosity wondering who the man he was talking to, or why they were even arguing.

What is michael put me in here and he regrets it?

What if me losing my memory isn't just to 'cure' me? I don't need curing, I wasn't crazy after all, yet they still want to erase me?

A nurse comes in holding orange juice and a bagel. I look at her as I'm wrapped in Michaels arms. She was the same one from yesterday, the same odd smile on her face.

She slowly hands me the orange juice and quietly tells me to drink it, I hesitate at first but give in knowing I had nothing good to eat or drink the past days.

I try squirming away from Michaels grip but he holds me tighter, causing the nurse to laugh silently at herself.

She instead puts a straw in and rests it on Michael's chest, me sipping the juice.

"You two are a very cute couple." she says awing at us and I shake my head

"We're not together" I softly laugh and she raises an eyebrow

"He defended you from our boss" she says taking the empty cup "he is one of the most powerful men l know, and your 'friend' does too'" she tells me giving me the bagel.

I'm still rested on Michael's chest, surprisingly comfortable talking to her with a bagel in my hand.

"It takes a lot to stick up to him" she says "plus he always calls us to see if you're okay." she smiles taking the empty glass waving goodbye before I could even say anything.

My eyes feel suddenly heavy as my eyes slowly close and all I feel is the cold air of the room, and Michael's arms around my waist.

-

I wake up to an empty space on the bed. My head hurts, and my back feels sore.

From the light streaming from the tiny window, I suggest it's about evening. There's sun, but dim lit.

The ray of sunshine makes the dark room feel; alive. I don't know. something I guess.

My mind wonders onto where Michael could've went, or how I fell asleep so quickly.

Did they drug me? I try to think of the things the nurse gave me, just simple juice and a muffin.

Michael said they were taking away my memory, but is this how they're going to do this with me? Drugging me then erasing me?

My hearts pounding like thunder and my head is light. I blink a couple times sitting up putting my face in my hands.

"Bella?" I hear Michael say, I look up at him. flickering my eyes between the tray of food in his hands and his face.

"I got you food" he says softly smiling sitting across from me setting the tray down in between us. He takes his hat off adjusting his hair and setting it down on his lap.

I adjust my eyes on my hands forcing a smile on my face

"So" he says nonchalantly "how've you been?" he says breaking the silence.

What does he mean?

"Good?" I say questioning myself, I bye my lip "I'm confused..i guess" I pause wondering how all the words come out of my mouth so easily "I mean, really confused, about everything." I chew my nail as I look up at him, hopefully wondering if he'd go back to the topic we last finished off.

His eyes don't meet mine as they are fixed on the juice swirling in his cup. His expression seems; blank. With no emotion at all he looks at me. And a pain in my heart stabs me as his eyes look; dead. His face is; empty.

I feel like looking myself in the mirror. I can't ever imagine Michael acting or looking like this, but here he is, right in front of me. he nods his head as he continues to swirl the drink in his cup.

"Are-are you okay mikey?" he seemed a little caught off guard as he heard me say his nick name, a name He probably hasn't heard in a while.

He nods his head slowly "yeah I-I'm okay" he looks up at me

"What, what do you wanna know?" he questions.

I don't know where to start, my curiosity is swirling around my head wondering everything I've thought about in the past few days

"How did I get here?" I say and his expression changes into him thinking

"I told you didn't i? You ran away from me" he says looking down at his hands "we fought and you ran. Someone called me saying you checked in here."

Part of me wants to believe him. I do, but I cant.There is something holding him back and I know it.

Why am I being so stressed out about this? Why am I in here for? And why the hell are they trying to take my memory?

"Why what Bella?" Michael says to me as if he read my thoughts

I close my eyes tightly.

"Why" I pause "why me?" Michael looks at me confusingly

"I was just a depressed girl suffering from heartbreak, Michael." I said my voice cracking "I never asked to lose my memory. I never asked to be hurt, to be broken, to be scarred. I never asked to be lied to. To be played around with" I shut my eyes tightly

"I know I suffered from schizophrenia before, and I know I was in deep depression." I say

"But I know one thing" I look at Michael who seems shocked by my words with glossy tired eyes.

"I'm not crazy Michael, I'm not." I sob and he quickly rushes to hold me. He hesitates at first worried as if I was too fragile in his arms.

I can't be fragile if I'm already broken.

"I don't want to lose you Bella" michael softly says with a time of sadness in his voice, he rests his face on my head as he wraps his arms around me tightly "You're all that I got left." He sobs "i'm so sorry."

I widen my eyes in shock, the pain shooting through my whole body. As I look into Michael's watery and glossy eyes.

And the needle on my hip.

"But I need you to forget."

And with that, I black out.

-

Oops.

If any of you guys want a song list just wait bc I'll put out a book on it. not really a book but just a page with the song and a link to it so u can listen.

I have a horror fanfic account lol @-xnfinity

Y'all should check it out 😜

And qotd.

Pants or skirt?

I love you :-)