inspired by Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure in my pants

"So Bill, what you're me, essentially, is that Napolean was short, dead dude?"

The crowd of history class erupted in fits of mocking laughter, but no giggle hurt poor Bill more than yours. The fact that you were laughing made him sink further in his seat. 

That was the fifth time that week he had tried impressing you, the most beautiful and unapproachable girl in the school in his puppy eyes. He had tried every stereotype in the book on you including this one, the class clown who actually didn't have a clue what he was saying. 

He feels his best friend lean behind him and even he was laughing!

"You totally blew it, dude!"

This was coming from a guy who once jumped out of a moving car because he saw a squirrel. Bill knew this fact and that made him so far off his seat that his butt was grazing the ground and his head so low that he could see his butt. 

He hated embarrassing himself in front of you but this was now a tactic and no tactic has an unexpected ending except for this one. He had royally screwed up for the last time and instead of returning his focus to his lesson, Bill's curly mind could only reflect on this week so far... 

"Hey Y/N!"

Bill yells from the top of the staircase down at you from the bottom and before you even had the chance to reply in cofusion, you and about 30 of your classmates were watching him tumble down the stairs on a single cushion. 

Cheeks red, you embraced your books as your only contact and ran to your next lesson leaving the blonde dumbfounded and dumb in a sea of cheers and high fives. 

Bill was really convinced that his daredevil act would make you his by the end of the day, signing up for something he didn't know was so hard just like his history classes. 

He even went as far as actually trying in school just so he could be at least near your academic capability since he was currently sailing with the stupid kids who would be flipping burgers for people like you for the rest of their lives... 

"So can anyone tell me when exactly did the industrial revolution begin?"

A hand went up that screamed rebellion and made the teacher sigh in defeat. 

"Yes, Bill?"

"1760."

Everyone was shocked, speechless and gasping except for you noticing the writing on his hand below the desk with 1760 specifically in an arrogant bold. It was a nice try but he wasn't even smart enough for the execution of pretending to be smart. 

He even pretended to fight with Ted in the math hallway just in case a bad boy was just what you craved but you walked straight past the scene, not even gossiping about it afterwards with your friends. 

Bill was completely clueless.

Nothing was working so he left class that Friday with fewer ideas in his mind than that group discussion back there. 

"Ted, it's so bogus she won't even look at me. I could wear my undies on my head and she'd still be laughing at me!" Bill whines to his best buddy, who is now waving in delight at everyone he passes down the halls. 

"Dude, I think I'd join her if you were wearing your undies on your head," Ted chuckles, not really paying attention until two tiny hands pull him down to a smaller height. 

Brown eyes stared into brown with as much confusion as brown but less determination and concentration. Browns eyes drift off into the distance, to the sides, everywhere but in browns direction, until they go from brown to brilliant. 

"Bill!"

"Ted?"

"Yeah?"

Silence. 

"What were you saying-"

"What did you want-

Awkward. 

"Um."

"They're doing guitar club and not just any guitar club..."

"Electric guitar club!"

They high fived, faking playing the guitar with no eyes sailing towards them to the dudes but in reality, people were cruising by them in worry and they were losing popularity points by the strum. 

"That's the perfect excuse to take your mind of Y/N!"

"Thanks for reminding me, Ted..."

Ted didn't know what to do. Bill had never really been sad before except for when he calls his stepmom cute and checks out her butt but even then it's anger and teen hormones, not true sadness. That's how he knew it was legitimate feelings. 

Ted laughs to himself. 

"Haha, butt but..."

"What?"

He is a deer caught in headlights when his friend turns to him in confusion, stealing away his moment of emotion and heartbreak. 

"Screw our history report! Mission ignore Y/N to get to talk to Y/N is in action!"

They fist bump and bump hips in the hallway but maybe a little too hard as they head off to the first club meeting with an ache and a groan...

---

This was it for Bill, a chance to really experience school life without someone on his mind and also to see what all the fuss was about with these clubs. I mean so many people joined them but what for they just totally forced people to talk to each other for more college qualifications and so they look better than the other ass-

Nevermind. 

Bill waltzed into the music room, ready to see a bunch of guys in guyliner and guy-spandex ready to rock and roll but the room was empty and at the sound of silence Ted bailed on him suddenly, running to better things awaiting him probably with Bill's stepmom. 

"Gotta run! Say hi to your mom for me!"

"Shut up Ted!" Bill screamed at the lanky floppy haired dude running through the empty hallways like an idiot with nothing to catch on the other side. 

What he didn't know was that Ted wasn't as dumb as he thought and he had a little trick up his sleeve. 

Bill's eyes focus on a symbol beside him or gold shiny clappy thingy as Bill called it. He reaches a veiny arm towards it, only wanting to strike it once with a huckle but suddenly all the instruments came slipping down the hill they were stacked on and fell to the ground. 

Ted would've loved it. The room was no longer as silent. 

Bill jumped out of his skin not only at the raging sound but also at the figure popping out of the other side of the room behind a doorframe. 

"What the hell!"

It was Y/N. 

He didn't know what to say, he had never gotten this far before. This was step 4 in his plans and he hadn't even covered 1,2 and 3 yet!

"Uh, sorry," he stutters like one of those geeks off of the news and tries to pick them up but makes it worse. 

You huff, strutting to his side to help him for a change. You are both at the same level, crouching while picking up instruments and you didn't dare look at him in case those eyes of his. He stared at you and you damn well knew it, growing as red as the Tamborine you were holding in your little Bill prison cell. 

You stood suddenly and he followed, squeaking something on the way. 

You actually laughed for once but not even at him, with him. 

"You're such an idiot."

He bows his head, growing familiar with the phrase that he's heard his whole life off of everyone. 

"Yeah, I know..."

You see the hurt in the eyes that he's trying to hide with his hair, sinking so low that his toned torso no longer is visible beneath his crop top. His shoulders are so low that they're your height and you felt so bad you apologised.

"Bill, I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way-"

"No I know, it's just I've been trying so hard to make you talk to me all week! And, you're right I am an idiot cause they all failed..."

You sighed, lifting his chin with your delicate fingers. It was his turn to blush now if he knew what that even meant. 

"I'm talking to you now aren't I?"

He rambles, not even blinking in the pause between your question and his reply. 

"Yeah but that's only because I signed up for this club-"

"No silly, I heard that you were desperate to play and I've been rocking since I was 11," you laugh, pulling up a stool so you can rest your tired legs from all that crouching. 

"Mini rocker," he laughs to himself. 

"But wait that means-"

You weren't really keen on letting him finish, wanting to give him all the answers as soon as possible before you could die from embarrassment yourself inside. After all, you couldn't forget that Bill was one of the most popular, cutest guys in school and even talking to him is an honour for any teenage girl. 

"I volunteered."

To have him swooning after you, looking for your reaction to everything he does was a true honour!

As you set up the guitar, Bill blurts out his questions with hurt in his voice that makes you ditch the setup and sit in front of him. 

"But why didn't you talk to me?"

You have the same hurt as him, drawing you together like magnets. 

"I didn't understand why you were pretending. I want you just the way you are Bill, no one else," you whisper and Bill leans in more just so he can catch your words to prove he's hearing correctly. 

Your head is low and he saves it before it falls with his hands tangling into your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear. He looks at you once more before kissing you passionately. 

"Excellent!"

There is a whisper from the door and you both turn to see a shaggy brunette in the doorway, peeping in. 

"Ted! Get out!"

He runs with a cheeky smile and you both laugh together.