Taemin had just left his apartment nearby to pick up some ice cream from the convenience store when he found you sat in the middle of the street, crying your eyes out in the pouring rain.

He did the only thing he could probably think of in that moment, and just held you.

You wanted to die over the fact of being seen by him in such a dreadful state, but you'd be lying if you said that you didn't genuinely need his comforting embrace. 

Helping you to your feet, Taemin insisted on getting you out of the rain and taking you to his apartment for a dry change of clothes and a warm drink.

Too emotionally shattered to do anything else, you silently complied.

After leaving you alone to change out of your wet clothes, you caught your reflection in his bedroom mirror, barely able to recognize yourself.

You must have been staring at yourself for the past 5 minutes without moving.

The torment and confusion, as you reflected on what had passed, was increased by every review of it.

How can I be the same person that was so dressed up and so excited only hours before?

How could I just let myself stupidly raise my hopes and expectations like that?

I'm such a joke...

While your hair was a mess and your makeup was smudged down the sides of your face, you looked back at your pitiful self in the mirror, now dressed in a pair of Taemin's gray sweatpants and a large jumper

The jumper in question was practically hanging off you, draping down to your mid-thighs.

You immediately thought about stealing it, but the distinct scent of Taemin was laced in the fabric and you weren't entirely sure you could get past that part.

Maybe if it smelled like 742...

No..

Completely drained of all your energy from crying so hard, you let out a defeated and empty sigh.

After a knock on the door to check if it was okay, Taemin came back into his bedroom, handing you a warm mug of hot chocolate with his face twisted with concern.

You could tell that it pained him to see you in this way, but out of respect he chose not to ask you what had happened, which you were beyond grateful for.

Even if it almost looked like he already knew.

"Have you spoken to Ji-eun yet? I'm sure she must be worried.." He finally broke the silence with his soft voice.

"Mmm, not yet," you mumbled back, awkwardly pulling your phone out to find that its battery was now completely flat.

"No matter," Taemin said with a reassuring smile, pulling out his own phone and opening up her chat screen. "Would you like me to send her a message?"

"..Sure."

As you sat on his bed while he typed out a message, you couldn't help but feel incredibly stupid and guilty.

This entire time Taemin had been nothing but great to you, and yet here you were sobbing and hurting over someone else.

He doesn't deserve any of this.

"Here," Taemin spoke out again, now handing his phone over to you.

Of course Ji-eun had answered almost instantly and was just about as devastated by the situation as you could imagine, without her going on to reveal too many explicit details in Taemin's chat screen.

She asked you to call her, whenever you were ready to speak about it and suggested you take tomorrow off work as a personal day.

"Hmm, maybe that's a good idea," you muttered out loud with a sigh in response to her offer, before handing Taemin's phone back over to him.

It wasn't like you could afford it, but maybe it was the best option for now.

Because just the thought of having to be at the café tomorrow for 7:42 AM made your heart hurt.

Ughh.

"Hey, uhh-" Taemin began to speak again, the look on his face showing he was trying to use his words carefully. "Why don't we do something tomorrow?"

"Ohh... I-uhh-"

Unable to conjure up a better response, you were truly unprepared for him to proposition you like that.

And with the state that you were currently in, all that you could imagine yourself doing tomorrow was to cry yourself silly by watching back to back dramas about girls having their hearts ripped into pieces, wallowing in your own self pity and eating a gallon of ice cream.

It was as if Taemin could see your entire thought process across your face as he went to speak again.

"It's just that... I can't stand seeing you this way. I know it's not that simple, but I wish I could see you smiling and happy again..." He said through the most endearing eye-smile. "We don't have to call it a date, or anything like that if you're not comfortable. It can be just.. 2 kids.. spending the day together to forget about everything else... What do you think?"

You could hear the sincerity pouring out of him as he spoke, with the combination of how sweet, respectable and caring he was, that you would have felt like such a horrible person to shut down his offer.

"Okay, let's do something.." You finally answered with a whisper.

He's only trying to help...

The walk back to your apartment soon after was filled with a comfortable silence, as you shared a single umbrella together in the pouring rain.

With such a close proximity, you could practically feel the his warmth radiating off him, trying its best to thaw out your frozen and beaten up heart.

In your genuine moment of need, you were beyond grateful to have him here with you.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Taemin said with a smile when you arrived back at your apartment, leaning in to give you one last supporting hug for the night before parting ways.

In the second you were left alone to yourself once again, a melancholy smile attempted to make an appearance on your face, before falling just as quickly as it came.

You were exhausted.

Convinced that no amount of sleep or anything else could fix you in the present, you still climbed straight into bed, determined to feel less alone and broken in your dreams at least.

-

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like a shell of your normal self.

Your first instinct was to check your phone to see if Mr.742 had tried to message you through the night, but the numbing feeling of nothingness sunk further when you discovered that he still hadn't even read your last messages.

Of course he wouldn't.

Why would he.

After opening myself up to be so humiliated like that, him not showing up was enough of a hint.

Trying to bury your emotions before they spilled over, you forced yourself to get ready for your day out with Taemin.

Opting for comfort over fashion for once and with minimal effort, you threw on your baggiest pair of jeans with an oversized T-shirt and hastily tied your hair up into a messy bun.

Because if last night taught you anything, it's that looking nice doesn't always get you where you want to go.

From an entire night of disrupted sleep and ugly crying, your face was as puffy as it could have been now, with a perfect set of dark circles under your eyes that no amount of makeup would be able to correct.

But who even cares any more...

You were sure that Taemin had never seen you look so plainly pathetic before, and should have recoiled at the sight of you, but he was surprisingly all smiles as usual when he showed up to your apartment at the time you agreed upon.

"You look nice today," he gleamed. "But then again you always look nice..."

"Are you joking?" you scoffed, understanding it as nothing but sarcasm.

"I'd never joke about something like that," he responded without hesitation. "And it makes me happy to know you're comfortable enough to be yourself around me."

A slight blush of disbelief set itself across your face at his compliment.

I guess I am comfortable like that around him...

Staring back at your empty apartment, you let out one last deep and slow breath, before the pair of you set out together.

Okay...

I can do this...

Let's try to have a nice day.

Taemin admitted to you very early on that he wasn't so sure about what to do today, so he ended chasing up Ji-eun for some ideas.

She suggested that you both go to the amusement park together since you had been talking about it for months now but never had the chance to go.

While that might have been true and deep down you were excited by the idea, the thought of being in an overly crowded place where streets of people might potentially see you burst out crying again at any given moment made you uneasy.

Your emotions felt unstable, to say the least and you had no idea what could trigger you into another outburst again...

Like that time you had to run out of a cinema in the middle of watching 'The Twilight Saga: New Moon' straight after going through your very first breakup.

Sensing this, Taemin changed his mind.

"Why don't we just play it by ear then?" Taemin said with the purest smile as if you weren't being at all difficult.

As the pair of you set out on a casual walk around the neighborhood, you eventually stumbled across a rather popular-looking café.

"Hey, this place looks nice!" Taemin quickly piped up.

"Yeah, but I doubt we'll ever find a seat inside there," you gestured at the large line of people waiting to be seated.

"Why don't I get us some smoothies to-go then?" Taemin shot back with a wide smile on his face. "Wait here and I'll be out in a moment."

As you watched Taemin turn around to walk inside the busy café, you couldn't help but scoff at the number of heads turning in his direction.

"-Oh my god, isn't that guy so cute?!"

You overheard a number of girls squeal out from a distance, their lack of composure making your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head.

But you couldn't exactly blame them.

There was no denying that Taemin was undoubtedly the most beautiful person you'd ever laid your eyes on in real life.

I might have said Mr.742 was...

If I ever actually saw his face.

Ugh...

With the invasive thoughts of your masked 'Genius' suddenly coming at you out of nowhere, you bit down hard on your bottom lip in the hopes it might stop your welled-up eyes from spilling over.

No.. Stop it.

I am not crying in public again.

When Taemin finally walked back out of the café with a perfect smile on his face, he walked straight past the group of girls, dismissing their existence entirely and handed your drink over to you.

You watched as their attentions turned on you and you immediately wished you could just dig a hole and hide away from the world.

The number of death glares that were being fired at you was absolutely ridiculous.

Because if you weren't already feeling like the piece of sh*t you were, this at least proved to be a rude awakening that people like you do not deserve to be with people like him.

You stared off into the distance from the bench you were sat on with Taemin, mind elsewhere as he began to tell you a story about his roommate.

If one thing was certain, Taemin did deserve better.

This idea that had been lurking in the foreground of your mind for a while, you were now 100% sure of.

Judging by the reactions of the girls at the café, you definitely weren't someone who could truly appreciate him.

Like seriously, here you are thinking of Mr.742 multiple times throughout a day spent with Taemin and all he's done is give you his complete attention.

You couldn't do this anymore...

No. You absolutely couldn't.

He needs to be with someone who isn't taking advantage of his kindness and actually genuinely wants to be with him as a first and only choice.

"Taemin-" you started without a thought, unable to stop the guilt from pouring out of you.

"And then he sai- wait what?" he paused mid-story. "Did you say something?"

You took a shaky breath, before turning in your seat to face him directly.

"Taemin, I need to talk to you about something..."

Oh god... This already sounds bad.

What do I say now...

"Okay, sure! What's up?" He beamed, smiling so wide at you that your heart sunk into your stomach.

"I um- I'm a mess. I mean, yeah I am, but that's not the point...." You paused in an attempt at collecting your jumbled thoughts.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, you really don't want someone like me. You shouldn't. I'm not emotionally available, mentally stable, deserving, or just ready in general. I-I don't want to keep wasting your time..."

At this point, you had completely averted your gaze, the shocked expression on his face destroying your nerves.

Why did he have to be so wholesome and beautiful?

This is making it so much harder than it has to be...

"So... what are you trying to say?" he whispered, the sudden drop in the volume of his voice twisting your insides.

"I-I guess what I'm trying to say is..." you paused, eyes flickering up to the boy beside you, giving him your full attention. "I don't think I can be in a relationship with you."

You waited, eyes trained on the shocked expression of Taemin, letting yourself suffer in the silence as he processed your sudden confession.

He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat and bringing his hands to his hair to fluff out the ends.

"I-uhm- I guess I saw this coming," He started, a slight shake in his usually confident voice.

"You did?" You blurted.

"Well, yeah. I mean especially after the way I found you last night... I think I always knew that you weren't really 'in it' if you know what I mean..." He trailed off, eyes looking everywhere but your face.

"And here I was thinking my crazy was subtle..." You half-grumbled, annoyed at yourself for being so obvious.

"Y/N I'm disappointed that I'll never have you as my girlfriend..." Taemin shocked you by laughing. "But you're a really great girl and I can't be mad at you for being honest."

You smiled as he turned to look at you, a shy grin on his handsome face.

"One day, some girl is going to be beyond lucky to have a boyfriend like you. You know that, right? I'm practically kicking myself for it already." you admitted with a blush.

Taemin laughed, nudging your side with his elbow playfully.

"How about I take you home, hm?" He started, standing and offering you his hand, "You've had a rough 24 hours and I think you need your best friend more than me right now."

Smiling at him with the goofiest grin you've ever produced, you took his hand and walked with him back to your apartment.

You let Taemin go on tangents about a new show he was watching, letting the friendship blossom from the ashes of a failed relationship that never happened.

It felt nice.

And despite yourself, and all the things happening around you, you felt a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.

It wasn't until you got back to your apartment and you were alone once more that the reality of your situation fell down on you. 

What was once two boys practically fighting over you only days earlier, now you had no one and you were back to square one. 

It wasn't that you weren't content with being single before all of this even began, or that you needed to feel validated or liked by guys in order to achieve happiness, but adjusting to being on your own again always leaves residual emptiness.

And being given zero closure about what really happened with Mr.742, the prediction of a long recovery seemed likely this time. 

I guess a heart's a heavy burden..

Letting out a deep sigh as you slumped over your couch, you pulled your phone out to send a depressing update of your day to Ji-eun, when you noticed you had a few unread messages from her from earlier in the day. 

-

[9:22] Jimin's Hoe💋: Hey, how are you feeling this morning?

[9:23] Jimin's Hoe💋: Let me know how your day goes.

[10:53] Jimin's Hoe💋: Girl, have you seen this?!

[10:53] Jimin's Hoe💋: <<*BREAKING NEWS BTS member mobbed on streets of Seoul....*>>

-

As you read the title of the article your best friend had shared with you, your eyes grew wide. 

Not hesitating to click onto the link, you held your breath in as you began to read. 

-

*BREAKING NEWS*

BTS, male idol member, Min Yoongi, better known by his stage name SUGA,  was mobbed by a group of saesang anti-fans yesterday evening.

According to reports, after finishing up with a private schedule, it is believed Min Yoongi was walking in the Hongdae area before being approached by a group of approximately 20 females, who proceeded to push and corner Min Yoongi, separating him from his only staffed escort.

It is believed that the swarm of girls attempted to steal the idols shoes and other accessories, damaging his communication devices in the process and preventing him from being able to reach the rest of his security team closely.

Shocked onlookers contacted emergency services, with police and ambulance arriving shortly after. Police were able to detain 6 of the offenders at the scene and are still on the look out for the remaining.

Min Yoongi was escorted to the hospital last night via ambulance with minor injuries, and it has been recommended for him to be monitored over the coming days for any post-traumatic stress brought on by the events.

BigHit Entertainment have since come out with an official statement confirming the incident.

The company has advised that they will be taking strong legal action against all of the offenders to the highest degree possible and will seek out measures to completely eradicate this issue going forward.

While BigHit have recommended for the idol to halt all activities until his mental and physical wellbeing is at a recovered state, Min Yoongi has stated that he did not want to disappoint his fans and will still be making an appearance at the upcoming fan-meet scheduled for next week.

The company has also requested the idol's fans to show their love, support and understanding during this difficult time.

-

Oh sh*t.

-----

Hi Angels!

How is everyone?

I'm sorry to sound like a broken record with all of my apologies for disappearing for months at a time - But I promise it's never intentional. Seems like life has a habit of kicking me in the shins. 

I wanted to thank all of you that reached out to me with your love, concerns and condolences for my late cat. I'm still a complete mess from that whole situation, but thank you all so much. It means a lot. 

But anyways, I hope this new chapter could provide a little bit of closure from the last one and I hope it was okay haha. 

I'm really committed to finishing this book and I hope I can do it as quickly as possible for your guys' benefit, but I'm also super cautious to not make it a rush job and try and put my best into it. So I really appreciate you all for being so supportive, understanding and patient. 

My question to you is, what do you think will happen next? Let me know! I want to hear your theories/ideas. 🧐🧐

I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe and healthy. 

As always, sending lots of love and hugs around to you all, wherever you are in this tiny planet. 

Katie ❤