Lee Sooha.
What a pretty name.
Like you.

As far back as I remember, i've never loved anyone in my entire life. I mean, not loving, like loving friends and family. Because of course i love my friends and my family ! But I've never loved someone like you. Truly and with all my heart. Loving someone to the point you just want to call them so you can hear their voice, loving someone like it's the last person on the earth, loving someone like she's the ocean and your the wave.

Loving someone, like I love you.

When we started dating, I admitted it to you, and you hated it anyway.  Because that meant that you became my first true love, and you didn't feel good enough for me.

That sentence made me smile awkwardly as I remember, but inside, it broke me. You know why ? Because you said that you wasn't enough. Enough for me, for the world.

But you are.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Look at you right now ! You are, you were, and forever you'll be the most beautiful girl in the world.

That's when i started to write. Just to make you remember the small things.

For example ; when our first break from school as a couple started, we couldn't see each other because you were going on vacation at your grandma's house. I had nothing to do on October's break, so i just spent my time writing about everything. I first wrote about life, followed by all my thoughts, things I hated, and things I loved.

By, among all that writing sections, there was only quotes about you.

And i've never thought of someone like that before ! It felt crazy, when you realize that you wrote almost all the height pages about a person, just because you miss them.

Actually, I've never shown you those letters. Probably cause I was too shy. But now that I am writing this, I feel like it's the right time, you know ?

8 October ;

"Dear Sooha,

Oh my god... I miss you !
I wish you were here in my arms, just so I can keep you warm during this cold fall period. I know that you hate cold, because you hate wearing to many clothes coats. But you also love winter and fall because of the amount of activities we can do when it's snowing. I promise that one day, we will spend a snowy day together, watching movies, playing snowball fights, drinking coffees (some decas because I know you don't like caffeine), and eating you're favorite food which is none other than zucchini soup. You love that soup because it was the one your grandmother cooked for you as a child. It's just the taste of nostalgia.

Still, I feel nostalgic for you, even though you've only been gone five days. I know I might sound ridiculous, but I'm more serious than you think.

But, the image of you enjoying soup with your grandmother, near a fire warms my heart. I like to see you smile. I love your smile.

I might just stop that letter before it gets too embarrassing.

Oh, and there's another thing I had to mention...

I love you,
Bye !"

And this was the first imaginary letter that I've send you through all this time. A bit cringy right ?

I didn't just write when you weren't around, even if you were with me, I had to let my thought go on those sheets of paper. I hid it in a box, under my bed.

I also wrote about that box. Because today, that box contains seventy-three letters. Nothing unusual so far? Listen to the rest.

Why this number specifically? It's very simple.

Your favorite number is seventy-three.

What a strange detail, right ? I was surprised too when you told me that you even had a favorite number, followed by your favorite sky color, and your favorite type of door — that are raining sky color (grey in other words) and sliding doors by the way — . But this number had a particular place in you heart and here's why.

- What do you mean you don't understand! It's very simple !

She looked back at her math assignment while I was trying to capture in my head what she said earlier. She talks so fast...

- Then explain it ! Why is 73 the best number ?

I guess I said it too loud because Sooha covered my mouth with her hand a second after. She looked at all the glares that were on us, while the supervisors were doing other things.

- What are y'all looking at huh ? i glared at them, getting her hand off my mouth

She looked at me like she was going to kill me.

- Whatever... she said, hiding her face with her hair

She just turned around, her cheeks slightly turning pink. I know that she hates being the center of attention, so i just throw a bad look around us, to keep prying eyes away.

She wouldn't turn around, so, i slightly put my arm around her shoulder, and bringing her closer to me. I've never seen someone so red before.

I intertwined our fingers, with the hand she had placed over my mouth. A soft smile lights up my face, before I ask her ;

- Tell me pretty nerdy.

Oh i love watching her cheeks getting on fire while she doesn't know what to respond. I gently kisses her left cheek before she got back to reality. She does that often. Her bain just press the off button and disconnects from real life. She's a bit sleepy while this happens, but i know she doesn't do it on purpose.

She rolled up her eyes before sliding her notebook between the two of us, so that I can look. I saw that number, that number that she must love more than me.

- 73 is the thirty first pride number. His mirror 37 is the 12th, and his miroir, 21 is product of the multiplication of 7 and 3...

While she was talking, everything became blurry. I didn't hear any voices anymore, except her. Everything around us became nothing, as I only saw her.

I said it : It only see you in a room full of people.