It's a god-awful small affair

To the girl with the writing flair

But her editor is yelling "No!"

And her publishing agent has told her to go...

You're not doing the whole song, are you?

Well, not anymore. Some people wouldn't call this one a sin, but I'd say it's worth putting out there regardless. It might just be wishful thinking, but I imagine that a handful of you might dream of becoming successful, real-world authors one day.

I don't mean to imply that Wattpad isn't 'real writing'... I mean, of course it is. Why would so many people continually support a free-to-read writer's network, if it wasn't useful? Most users come here looking for an outlet, a place to dump all of their slam poetry and Steven Universe fanfictions.

For those select few who are a tad more serious about writing, this site is similar to our training wheels. At some point, you've gotta learn how to take them off and play in the big leagues. But where do we start?

At the start, genius.

Right you are. So you've decided that you want to publish your story. Immediately, you begin with two options; find a publishing company and send them your manuscript, or take it upon yourself to self-publish your story.

I'm not going to talk lightly on this one; when you are starting out, no one will know or care who you are. Your job is to make them care, and by registering on Wattpad, you've already built up a backlog of works that will help out a lot.

I would highly recommend self-publishing, for two major reasons. One, you'll be able to start instantly without being turned away (even the Harry Potter series was rejected by publishers 12 times!), and two, you'll get a much better grip on how to market your own book.

You want me to be my own publishing company? Do I look like I crap money?!

Surprisingly, it can cost absolutely nothing! Although, you would be pretty dumb if you never spent any dough on promotions throughout your story's lifecycle.

There are several places online that will let you self-publish e-books, the most prominent of which is Amazon KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing). You can try your hand at other vendors such as Smashwords, Draft2Digital or Google Play, but chances are that most readers will flock to Amazon. Why?

KU (Kindle Unlimited), that's why. I don't want to get too deep into specifics here, but this is a monthly subscription service that lets readers download and read your e-book for 'free' if you enroll in their program. In return, your story would gain much more exposure and Amazon would pay you a small amount per page read.

So let's say we're going full-Amazonian. When do I start raking in the big bucks?

Woah, easy! There are a few things to consider first. If you decide to self-publish, you would need to register with the tax office as self-employed. This can be done easily online, although it depends on where you live. Also, you would need to be at least over 18 to publish through KDP.

Once you've checked both boxes, that's it - just one automated tax interview later, and you're ready to take on the big world of e-books! At any point, you can upload your manuscript online, design your cover and click 'publish'. It's really as easy as that!

Anyone can do it, which is what makes it such a volatile marketplace. Rules are constantly being broken, and because people are willing to buy these books for several bucks a pop, it becomes much more serious than what you're used to on Wattpad. Here are some pointers to keep you on track:

You cannot publish copyrighted material. This means no fanfictions, no Marvel crossovers, no trademarked characters or titles.

You need to purchase the license for any stock photo covers you use. Ensure that it contains the model's signed release, or you could be in big trouble.

No room for errors. This is an official product of your own brand. It has to be professionally accurate, grammatically and canonically, or it will reflect badly on you as a business owner.

You don't have to be 'you'. KDP lets you manage several pen names, so you can write as someone completely anonymous. No one will find out it's you behind the keyboard, unless you name your MC after yourself like a dummy.

Get as many hooks in the water as you can. No one strikes gold the first time, and sometimes success in one book can ripple over to another. Your initial income isn't made from one story, but the combined sales of several in the same genre.

Know your market. Look at the top 100 books in your category, note their covers and blurbs. You need to know what's already successful, figure out why and replicate that quality in order to gain the audience's interest. Not in a steal-yo-crap way, let's call it 'research' instead.

Sweet! But how do I get tons of loyal Followers, like on here?

You don't. Self-publishing is much more brutal because, again, you need to make people care about you. Scream all you want, but you're in a sea of a thousand other voices begging to be heard. These kinds of battles aren't won by the loudest merchants, but the most tactical ones.

If you need a medium to reach your fans, make one yourself. Set up a mailing list/newsletter through MailChimp, create and host your own website, purchase a domain name - there are so many ways to reach people, even through your current Wattpad Followers!

The entire goal here is to make your book something that people want to talk about. With a couple of first attempts and a platform for your readers to stand on, it won't be long before you start receiving ARCs.

ARCs? Isn't that some kind of disease...?

The best kind - Advanced Copy Readers! These are people that you send the final draft of your book to, a week or so ahead of your scheduled release date. Giving it to them for free, it's important that you stay on their good side.

Are you familiar with how to sell books? Isn't the first step to NOT dish them out for free?

It's only free for these special guys, and trust me, it will be worth it. You see, you can strike up a deal with ARCs after they make themselves known. You'll give them a version your story weeks ahead of schedule, in return for a Day-1 honest review on Amazon.

Now, you don't know whether it'll be a good review or a really bad one. The point is, if you're a reader looking for some fresh books to buy, which would you prefer? The blank one with no customer experiences, or the one with fifty or so gold stars next to its name?

It's worth the risk for a booming launch, and it will give you a serious edge over your competitors. Using ARCs is only one of the advanced techniques I'll talk about here, because I've prattled on for too long about this and the general idea is the same. Sell books, get money.

----

Some of this might be way off in the future, especially for some of the younger users on here. Heck, maybe most of you haven't even thought about publishing for real, but I think it's an important subject that no one really discusses.

There's so little information out there, because people rarely make the leap from free websites to paid ones and come back to talk about it. Once money gets in the way, it becomes harder to see the appeal of putting your stuff out there for personal reasons.

That being said, you can't just forget about where you came from. The initial books you wrote are what developed all of your skills, improved your XP as a writer. In a weird way, Wattpad will always hold a special place in my cold, sinful heart.

I understand that this is a complicated topic, so don't hesitate to leave any questions in the comments below. I'm itching to get down to the real stuff, but this chapter is already becoming twice as long without the usual banter.

Hark, King Tyro31 is coming down from his pedestal to mingle with the commoners! How gracious of our Lord and Saviour!

Hey, I never said I-

Pray tell, Sir Douchemonger, how mayeth-est I be of service to thee?

You know what? No. I'm not giving you any of my sweet author money. Was going to, but you ruined it.

W-Wait, let's talk about this...