"So... Uh..." Sammy Slowpoke hesitated... It wasn't because he didn't know how to respond... It was just that... He was really slow... And figured that talking with dramatic pauses... Every two seconds... Would make him sound interesting...

  ...But it didn't...

  Dun dun duuun! Back to punctuation-shaming, I love these ones!

  Yeah, who isn't a fan of meticulous sphincter-tight structured rules? Not me, that's for sure! We're up to unlucky Sin #13, which means it's time for a double-feature special! Not only will we be discussing why your syntax sucks bricks, but we'll also be doing so through interpretive dance!

  Please... PLEASE, don't start dancing.

  Not up for busting a move? Well, how about we celebrate the lesser-known hero of punctuation, the em-dash and its several associates?

  I honestly couldn't tell you which one sounds worse.

  Good, it's settled then! Let's mosey on back a step and ask ourselves what ellipses are used for. Why are they so alluring to use? What makes three simple dots the easiest tool to utilise in the author's arsenal?

  The answer, of course, is that they break the damn game.

  As we write, the unconscious challenge that we all have to face is the flow from one sentence to the next. Separated, those alone are easy; people can just use commas to connect their words without a problem. But what happens when you want to branch entire sentences together?

  That is where the ellipsis (...) comes into play. This punctuation mark can have other meanings in academic journals, but as creative writers, all we're interested in is the expression that it makes. When we see these dots in dialogue or narrative, we interpret that as a dramatic pause or a moment of hesitation, a cue to create suspense. See below:

  Sammy, exhausted and utterly defeated, began to reach forwards after his horrific struggle... but he soon realised, that his mom hadn't bought enough toilet paper.

  Gripping stuff.

  Shut up. I was on the edge of my seat.

  I'll bet you were. Did you wash your hands?

  Uh... No comment. Anyway, the fact is that ellipses are incredibly useful in this fashion, although they mostly exist in dialogue. Conjunctions such as 'and, if, but' are common flags to place them around.

  They can start entire paragraphs and end them, show when a character is under stress or nervous, maybe even ramp up the atmosphere by a notch. But as you can see from the introduction, this can get a little out of hand.

  Why does this happen? It is because they are simply too easy to use. 

  If you mark everything with an ellipsis, you don't have to think about structure or how to start the next sentence. If every minor break becomes usable, what does that leave you with? Little chunks of sentences, instead of actual ones. Besides, having dots every other space is just confusing to the reader's eye.

  I, too, used to be an ellipsis tramp. I thought I was being so edgy, leaving every paragraph hanging on a pause like some slam poetry recital. Turns out, it was bad form and it absolutely butchered my story as a presentable format. 

  If you have more than one ellipsis every two or three paragraphs, believe me... You can absolutely cut it back. Rare usage gives it more of an emphasis, more meaning towards your story. Curb your addiction, before it consumes your soul.

  Is it time for part two yet? I already brought my popcorn.

  You bet your bacon it is! Many of you starry-eyed readers who have just had your minds blown are probably typing right now, "But Master Tyro! What can I ever use in place of the dreaded ellipses?!"

  I'm 110% sure that no one ever said that.

  Worry not, I'll tell you what you can use! Everyone's favourite candidate in English class, the loveable, the only, em-dash!

  ...Okay, so perhaps not that many people have heard of it. Every superhero team has its Z-listers, right? While it might not be as popular as the 'comma' or 'colon brothers', it certainly packs a punch in its own way. This baby will snap your sentences together so fast and efficiently, it'll make your head spin!

  Jeez, enough hyping up. Let's see it already!

  Okay, pick one.

  -  —  –  _  -  =

  Holy guacamole.

  Yep, someone out there really likes their dash-based punctuation. You might never be able to tell them apart, even if you knew what each of them did. We're already running short on time though, so let's go through a speedy run-down of our new best pals!

  - (Hyphen): Connects two words together, either in relation or as part of their syllables. 

  Example: "That is one butt-ugly dog you got there, mate."

  — (Em-dash): Often used as a harder comma, to create pauses and link sentences. Can also be a form of parenthesis. To type one, you must hold ALT on your keyboard and press 0151 on the number pad. Some software may convert double hyphens into em-dashes.

  Example: Tyro31 thought he could come up with a decent example for the titular subject — sadly, he could not.

  – (En-dash): Not to be confused with em-dash, en-dash is instead all about connecting values and relationships such as dates and times, or pages of a book. Same ALT code, using 0150 instead.

  Example: If you find any of these tips helpful, go back through Sins 1–12 and hit that Vote button!

  That's shameless, even for you.

  What? Couldn't hurt to try.

  _ (Underscore): Shows where information has been omitted, or requested to be input.

  Example: Super Secret Agent ____ ruined his assignment by _______ the mayor's daughter while   _______ off his own ____ right into his target's _____ flabbergasted face. How unpatriotic.

  - (Minus): A mark to subtract one value from another or show negativity, distinct from the other dashes.

  Example: Really, you need one? -50 Points from Gryffindor.

  = (Equals sign): Dude, seriously?

  Example: Listen to your Maths teacher, you half-wit. Oh, and =.

  ----

  I cannot be clear enough about this: em-dashes are not a replacement tool for ellipses. They simply eliminate many of their instances and create a more intelligent-looking piece of work. Ellipses should still be used in creative writing, but definitely not with the abundance that Wattpad drowns itself in.

  Everyone has probably seen these dashes hundreds of times before, right? Like me, you probably figured that they were 'just hyphens' and used them as a substitute, outside of their normal syntax. 

  Well now that you know the proper etiquette, there's nothing to stop you! Get out there and promote the good word, make sure the world knows about these unsung heroes of the punctuation spectrum!

  Great, what's next? A 1000-word chapter on the various dot-based symbols on our keyboards?

  Hmm, not a bad idea there!

  ...Oh, no... No, no... Please, no...

  Hey — mind those ellipses.