"How I lost to God—loving you more than I could do.
It's the smile that I miss from you."

"Hyung!"

Hoseok's senses shifted from his subconscious back to his conscious brain as he recognized the voice to be Jimin's– calling for him from the reality(real world).

JM : (-speaks softly as Hoseok looks at him-) Hyung, are you okay? You seemed struggling in sleep so I woke you up.

He, pulling himself out of the scenes he was dreaming, sat up passing a smile to Jimin.

HS : Thanks for doing that.

Jimin's tensed up temple eased seeing his smile and sat on his bed. He continued to put on his shoes as he was previously doing before waking the elder up.

HS : Are you going somewhere?

JM : Ah, yes. To the agency, for recording my verses.

HS : (-nods-) Be careful. (-setting his pillows to lay down again-)

JM : (-stands up-) Hyung, do you need anything that I can get you before I leave?

HS : (-laying down hugging a pillow-) No~ I am fine. Oh wait!

JM : Yeah? (-casually resting his hands on his waist-)

HS : Where's Cherry?

JM : Ah~ (-thinks-) Oh right, I saw her out in the lawn a while ago. She seemed really sulky. Must be missing fights with Yeontan. (-chuckles-)

HS : Where is he?

JM : Ah, You don't know? Tae sent him to his family this morning since their fights were too hard to handle. (-wears his jacket-)

HS : (-sits up again-) Onh, really?

Cherry was SuSan's pomeranian puppy which he decided to raise after her.

In the starting days, she and Yeontan avoided running into each other at all costs but in a few weeks as they did, their fights and barks knew no end.

It has been quite a long time now, and seeing them not getting any better started to bother Hoseok.

He was well aware how Taehyung adored Yeontan and so was perplexing if he should move Cherry out.

Jimin, setting his beanie cap looking at his reflection, noticed Hoseok's worry through the mirror.

JM : Hyung!

HS : Onh? (-reflexed-)

JM : Don't worry. They are probably just playing around. And moreover, none of them gets hurt during their knock outs which says it's friendly. (-turning to look at him-) Besides, everyone loves having them both around.

HS : (-smiles with a nod-) Alright. Don't stress out too much with the recordings. You'll sound just perfect.

JM : (-smiles-) Thanks, hyung. (-tucks his phone in his pockets-) I will take off now.

Hoseok sending Jimin off with a smile, lost his glow again as he got reminded of the dream he had.

He sighed deep and went downstairs looking for Cherry.
A small smile made its return to his lips seeing Cherry cheerfully wiggling her tail at his arrival.

HS : (-kneeling down to her and stroking her soft white furs-) Cherry-ah, Jimin told me you were sad. What's wrong, hmm?

She whined out a sad yelp siting down with her arms stretched out like a pillow to rest her chin.

HS : (-caressing her gently-) Are you missing San-ie?

She whimpered yet another yelp, but a shorter one as if she was replying him in a "yes".

HS : (-sad smiles-) I miss her too. (-seconds later-) Shall we pay her a visit?

Just as he put forward his suggestion, Cherry promptly got up again moving her tail to and fro as if she was wholeheartedly agreeing to it.
From afar, it seemed like they were having any normal conversation where the animal had a voice like those in animated movies.

Hoseok's face flashed a smile as he got up to get her leash.

In a few moments, they on their way to SuSan's graveyard with BTS's personal car, which they used for long rides.

With the drive being peaceful for Hoseok who was listening to some soft music while breathing the natural air(not the car AC), it was just what he needed then.

Cherry never deliberately hassled Hoseok as if she knew she must behave well and so well mannerly, she was quietly enjoying the view. She made Hoseok carefree about her.

In a while as they reached, their greet to SuSan met an end and they walked around for sometime before returning.

Wanting to rest for a while in the crowdless place, Hoseok sat on the grass leaning to a tree which was a few meters away from the main road while having Cherry's leash looped around his fingers.

HS : (-smiles seeing her play with the grass-)  Cherry-ah, why can't you get along with Yeontan, huh? He is such a good and lovely boy.

She barked. More like in a defence that she was no bad either.

HS : (-chuckles-) Okay okay. You're an adorable girl too. And that's my point, why can't you be so to him? Why do you keep fighting with him everytime?

She stopped graving the grass she was at and ran a little away from him and sat with a sulk presenting her back. It was her way to show she was upset with him for siding Yeontan.

HS : (-getting pulled as she ran away-) Oh, I am sorry. I am not siding him. (-pulling her gently towards him-) Onh? Please come back? I just wanted you two to be friends so we could all live together happily. Cherry-ah?

She didn't sound anything and refrained from looking at him.

HS : (-faking a heartbreak-) Cherry-ah, Sanie left me and now I have no one except you. But you're upset too. I feel so lonely. I feel so sad~ (-fakes crying-)

She turned her head curiously and finding him cry, ran towards him with her tiny run and climbed in his lap making Hoseok happyily engulf her baby size.

HS : (-giggles-) Thanks for coming back. (-playing with her-)

In a while, having Cherry play with the grass again, Hoseok breathed in facing the sky with his eyes closed– just feeling the air, feeling SuSan's presence.

He instantly looked down as he felt the leash being weightless only to find Cherry run towards the road following a butterfly.

Noticing a car rushing towards her and him being too far to save her, his heart dropped for a moment squeezing his eyes closed from witnessing the crash.

As soon as the car passed, he re-opened his eyes hesitantly and saw Cherry was on the other side of the road jumping to catch the butterfly flying a lot higher for her to reach it.

Although he was relieved to see her fine yet it stinged his heart at the thought that he would've lost her because of his carelessness just like he believed he did in SuSan's case.

Somewhere deep inside, he accused himself for losing SuSan. He believed if he never had invited her to the party that night, none of this would have happened. The guilt was eating him hollow.

However, he gained the strength from the boys and Army, to fight against himself. In the loss, he couldn't realize he was gifted with something he thought he had no chance with. He couldn't be more grateful having them all back together for he wouldn't have been able to afford any more separation.

He rushed towards Cherry and taking her up in his embrace, caressed her head gently with teary eyes.

HS : Are you okay? (-heart throbbing inside-) How did you unhook your leash, huh?

Cherry passed a cute little sound resting her head on his chest in an apology. Before he knew he was already pooling out tears as he kissed her head holding her securely in his amrs.

In that very moment, he realized he would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to Cherry. He would forever be agonized if he lost her.

He found himself being in the bottom line where another loss would utterly destroy his soul.

Soon as they were on their return, in the quiet ride, Hoseok summed up to the decision of giving her away before he grew too attached, than he already was, with her.

He felt giving her away alive would be less painful than losing her to death.
Moreover he thought he wasn't taking good care of her as he could hardly maintain himself.

In a few days of him putting up an add for her although anonymously, he got many people wanting to adopt her. But he rejected them all as he wanted the best out there who didn't start the conversation putting forward the price they are likely pay for her.

He finally singled out with a couple who were going get married soon and the groom wanted to gift her to his bride.

They were the only ones who sounded genuine and decent to Hoseok.
As the day of their comeback was rushing by, Hoseok hardly found any time off to meet Cherry's new care takers to give her away.

But on finally getting an hour free, Hoseok called the Groom about it.

*Over the call*

GROOM : Ah~ I wanted to meet her so bad. But, here I am stuck in the bridal shop. It doesn't look like I can leave for the next hour. What should we do?

HS : Catching another time seems hard too. (-comes up with an idea-) How about I personally go there with Cherry, if that's okay?

GROOM : (-sounding thankful-) Oh, can you do that? That would be very nice of you. But, how would a star~ (-hesitates at the thought-)

HS : Byun-ssi. It's okay. The only thing that matters now is Cherry getting a family she deserves.

The groom with his genuineness agreed with him and gave the address.

On reaching, Hoseok, covering himself well, went in to their reserved compartment guided by a worker.

Having the formal talks between the males, as Mr. Byun was called privately to talk about the dresses, Hoseok kneeled down to Cherry for the farewell.

HS : Cherry-ah, I am sorry to be giving you away. I am just not good enough for you. You understand my decision, right? (-brushing her soft furs-)

Cherry replied in a sad yet understanding tone giving him a few licks making Hoseok smile.

HS : Be well with them. They will take good care of you.

Within the next second, the trail room doors slid open making Cherry's eyes reflexively turn towards it. She instantly ran towards the person who stood there in a long wedding gown.

Hoseok was busy smiling to Cherry that he didn't look at the girl standing whom the former started cheerfully barking at.

??? : Hoseok-ssi?

He, getting distracted by the familiar voice, looked up to see Sana standing in the white gown looking stunningly gorgeous.

HS : (-standing up-) Onh, Sana-ssi? (-smiles-)

BYUN : (-coming back confused-) Hoseok-ssi, how do you know her?

Sana, with a hint of uneasiness in her face, looked at her husband-to-be and explained while Hoseok took Cherry in his embrace fearing that she might ruin the dresses hanged in the room.

BYUN : SuSan-ssi's boyfriend was— The Jung Hoseok?

Sana elbowed him for saying that out loud to which he apologized to Hoseok.

HS : Oh, what for? Don't worry. It's okay. (-smiles and continues playing with Cherry-)

SANA : (-hesitantly-) Are you doing okay?

HS : (-looking at her-) Onh? Yeah, I am doing just fine. Although, I miss Sanie alot. It's okay since I am mostly occupied. (-changing topic-) So, you're getting married, I see. Congratulations!

SANA : (-smiles-) Thank you...

HS : I wish you both a long time of togetherness and a happy married life. (-with a slight pause-) I feel so glad, Cherry is going to you.

SANA : Neh? (-confused-)

BYUN : Yes, honey. We are gonna raise her. I remember the last time you showed me a picture of SuSan-ssi's pet and expressing how much you loved her. On searching for sometime, I found a puppy, the best matching to Cherry. But, turns out it's her.

Sana gave him a touched smile trying to control her emotions mouthing a thank you while Hoseok felt the need to take his leave.

HS : Alright then. I guess I have to leave now. (-handing Cherry over to Byun-) Take care of her. (-stroking her head-)

He glanced at Cherry one last time and turned around before he changed his mind to leave her.

Walking out of the shop with one mind, he took a deep breath in the open air. Letting go of Cherry made him realize a few things he failed to do with SuSan.

His perspective had a positive change which now brought a smile everytime he reminisced about SuSan. He, wanting to preserve her memories forever, remembered her as the most beautiful time of his life rather than painful that his heart would want to erase in the course of time.

"Is it weird that I am still hoping for something so absurd? 'Cause I believe it isn't a goodbye, it is just missing you until we meet again."